It always seems to surprise people when I admit stuff like this, but until now I had never seen WYATT EARP. And when I was getting ready to watch it and do this review I worried I was gonna get myself into trouble because it came out six months after TOMBSTONE, and lived and died in its comparisons to TOMBSTONE, so I know everyone in the comments is gonna want to talk about that. And the thing is I still haven’t seen TOMBSTONE either. Yeah, I know. I’ll get around to it.
Initially I thought I should do that first, but then I realized it was a unique opportunity to be the one guy watching WYATT EARP on its 30th anniversary with zero instinct to compare and contrast to TOMBSTONE. I have been preparing three decades to be this specific guy. (read the rest of this shit…)
Request: please be extra careful in the comments not to give away that one surprise thing where people might see it by accident.
SPLIT is M. Night Shyamalan’s odd little thriller about three teenage girls abducted from a parking lot and kept locked in a room by a man calling himself Dennis (James McAvoy). Terror turns to confusion when he starts coming to the room talking different, acting different, claiming to be different people. It turns out Dennis is just one of 23 personalities in this guy, and they don’t all necessarily support what he’s doing.
Logically you assume this kidnapper is gonna be a rapist or killer, and these may be true, but for now he’s being told to cool it by “Patricia,” a female personality who shows up occasionally to make the girls mayo sandwiches and assure them “he’s not supposed to touch you.” Oh, okay, that’s comforting. He also shows up as “Hedwig,” an 11 year old boy who likes to dance and listen to Kanye West and giggles a little when he warns them that “The Beast” is coming.
I haven’t always been on board for McAvoy (WANTED, VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN, X-MEN FIRST CLASS), who’s obviously a good actor but seems weirdly prone to playing heroes who are a little too douchey to completely root for. But here he’s truly great. Each character has a different voice, accent and body language – you can recognize them even before he speaks, even if he doesn’t change his clothes. (Though he usually does. He seems to be very fast at it.) McAvoy is clearly having alot of fun with this, taking his acting skills and doing a bunch of donuts and wheelies and shit. Going off jumps. (read the rest of this shit…)
When one of us says “Carrie,” I bet we all think of the same thing: Brian DePalma’s iconic 1976 film, an American classic. It’s the first and still-second-best movie based on a Stephen King book, so of course we could also be talking about that 1974 novel (the fourth that King wrote, but first he got published). Or we could be talking about the 2002 made-for-TV version, or the 2013 remake, or I suppose the 1952 William Wyler movie which in my opinion is not based on King’s book. Anyway this week I’d like to take a look at the different incarnations of King’s story. (Not the failed Broadway musical though. I never saw it.)
I’m assuming I don’t have to tell you the story. And then I’m telling you the story just in case. Carrie White (Sissy Spacek, PRIME CUT) is a shy, awkward girl who already doesn’t fit in at her high school before she has her first ever period in the locker room shower after gym class and thinks she’s bleeding to death, much to the amusement of all her classmates. Yeah, thanks for the heads up on that menstruation stuff, abusive and mentally ill Christian fundamentalist mother (Piper Laurie, RETURN TO OZ, THE FACULTY).
The other girls get in trouble from their gym teacher Miss Collins (Betty Buckley, THE HAPPENING) for pelting Carrie with tampons and chanting at her. One of the girls, Sue Snell (Amy Irving, THE FURY) feels guilty about it and convinces her greatest-American-boyfriend Tommy Ross (William Katt, SUPER) to take Carrie to the prom and show her a good time. Another girl, Chris Hargensen (Nancy Allen, ROBOCOP), goes the other route, she’s not allowed to go to the prom, and plans a cruel prank to avenge Carrie. Meanwhile, womanhood has unlocked in Carrie a freak power to control objects with her mind. So if she gets humiliated again, perhaps on stage at the prom to name one possible scenario, she’s not gonna cower in fear this time. There will be Hell to pay. (read the rest of this shit…)
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
CJ Holden on The Ugly Stepsister: “It’s interesting that the DTV sequels of the animated Disney CINDERELLA also paint one of her stepsisters as more sympathetic.…” Jun 18, 22:32
VERN on Cop Out: “It’s always funny when these old reviews are preoccupied with some entertainment news/online drama I have almost no memory of…” Jun 18, 14:45
burningambulance on The Last Showgirl: “>> here’s this lady we remember being a punchline and a tabloid target, the swimsuit lady from Baywatch in her…” Jun 18, 13:01
Jerome on Cop Out: “This is one of your best Vern. A real all-timer. Great comments too (and not just coz it’s the only…” Jun 18, 11:50
VERN on Hatchet II: “Good point Jerome, I guess my above comment “I hope eventually a situation comes up where a movie more people…” Jun 18, 08:43
JesseSP on Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning: “I think my issue with the movie is best summed up in that flat moment leading to the opening credits.…” Jun 18, 05:26
Toxic on Ballerina (2025): “Not sure about the rest, but my best guess is that the Cult member who goes after Eve is a…” Jun 18, 02:58
jim on Howl’s Moving Castle: “Spot on across the board. You were absolutely right then and now. Great review, Vern.” Jun 17, 23:35
Jerome on Hatchet II: “Adam Green’s gotta be, like, ‘Fuck Art the Clown’, tho, right? And I saw Hatchet II in the theater too.…” Jun 17, 22:09
Stu on Ballerina (2025): “I loved it too, and was relieved it was good after the rumoured revisions. Favourite gags were the bit with…” Jun 17, 16:20
Toxic on Vern Throws A Kick At JCVD!!: “Not sure it’s available anywhere but in France, but KUNG FU ZOHRA by JCVD’s director Mabrouk El Mechri is… interesting.…” Jun 17, 14:47
CJ Holden on The Last Showgirl: “I mean, it is a high profile gig and appers to be of higher quality than a SCARY MOVIE sequel,…” Jun 17, 11:49
Toxic on The Last Showgirl: “@CJ, from the trailer, that NAKED GUN movie does seem surprisingly promising (I mean, if you are into THE NAKED…” Jun 17, 10:56
Charles on The Last Showgirl: “I liked this one as well. There is some shared DNA with BOOGIE NIGHTS. In terms of the ending and…” Jun 17, 09:24
CJ Holden on The Last Showgirl: “It’s interesting that Bautista, the wrestler who took acting lessons to prepare for his Marvel role, because he really wanted…” Jun 17, 07:49