"CATCH YOU FUCKERS AT A BAD TIME?"

Posts Tagged ‘Antony Starr’

G20

Wednesday, April 16th, 2025

G20 is not a DIE-HARD-on-a-______ movie – it’s an AIR-FORCE-ONE-in-a-hotel. Presidential offshoots of DIE HARD are pretty much a sub-subgenre now with WHITE HOUSE DOWN and OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN and this in the books. But this is the type where the president is ex-military and is the indisputable action lead, and the only one where she’s played by Academy Award winner Viola Davis. THE WOMAN KING showed us Davis could have moves, everything else showed us she has the gravitas to play a formidable world leader, and it’s fun to watch her do both of those things at the same time.

Though this went straight to the Amazon Product Supply Corporation’s television buffering service it’s one of the ones they do every once in a while where they advertise it as if hoping a bunch of people will know it exists. It has good production values, seems like a professionally made movie, could probly be released in theaters, but luckily it wasn’t because it is about exactly good enough to mildly enjoy while on your couch and almost completely forget before you can figure out how to get it to continue playing the credits instead of showing you a bunch of other shit that you don’t want to see. Not that you really need to experience the credits but you’re not a savage, you would leave them on if the fucking thing would let you. (read the rest of this shit…)

Cobweb (2023 American film)

Monday, October 23rd, 2023

COBWEB (2023 American film) is not to be confused with COBWEB (2023 South Korean film directed by Kim Jee-woon). Totally different thing. This is a new horror movie that wafted briefly through theaters during the OppBarbenheimerie era, came out on disc a few weeks ago, now is on Hulu. I knew nothing about it except that some people had said it was good, and that served me well. It’s a pretty simple story that benefits from a sense of unfolding mystery, so I’ll try to tread lightly for a bit and then warn you when it’s time to start stomping.

One reason to review it right away: it’s a Halloween movie. It’s set in the week leading up to the holiday, there’s a field of pumpkins outside the house that most of it takes place in, there’s a crucial pumpkin-smashing incident. So it’s good for the season. (read the rest of this shit…)

Guy Ritchie’s The Covenant

Tuesday, September 19th, 2023

GUY RITCHIE’S THE COVENANT really is the official title of Mr. Ritchie’s 2023 Afghanistan War action drama. You know – in the tradition of LEE DANIELS’ THE BUTLER. The backstory is they were gonna be straight forward and call it THE INTERPRETER, but then they decided to get a little pompous and change it to THE COVENANT, but that meant they had to add the GUY RITCHIE’S to distinguish it from Renny Harlin’s warlock movie THE COVENANT. That’s okay, this is one he can be proud to put his name on. It’s a good one.

Let me tell you this. A few years ago I hit my breaking point with War On Terror films. I felt like even when they weren’t pro-war or militarism propaganda they were still perpetuating our complacency on this unending war. Then we finally pulled out of Afghanistan, so that sort of changed the ethics of using it in action movies, but I still wasn’t anxious to revisit the topic. When I started seeing trailers for these new Jake Gyllenhaal and Gerard Butler movies where they’re a soldier trying to get their interpreter to safety I thought “oh jesus, this how they’re gonna keep milking this thing?”

So I’m thankful to the Action For Everyone podcast and others that have kept praising THE COVENANT and KANDAHAR and explaining why they’re more interesting than I assumed. I don’t know about that second one, but I’m glad I didn’t go with my initial plan to skip THE COVENANT. (read the rest of this shit…)