My friends, if you are reading this then chances are motherfuckers have erupted into chaos. The y2k millennium bug has stripped the world of much of its established technologies. The days look like night cause of the smoke in the air, the sound of sirens is familiar and the streets are filled with broken glass and the trampled skeletons of the weak. There most likely is no trustworthy money system due to the loss of bank records and computer databeses. The stores have been looted to the bone leaving only a matter of time before most of our resources are used up.
Your life may be in danger while you read this because you are among the elite, the computeratti. Either that or you have backstabbed others to get where you are. You probaly had to lie, steal, fight, maybe even kill for the electric power, computer system and phone lines that you are using to access this web sight. And I wanna tell ya bud I really preciate the support.
If today is Tuesday January 11 2000 or later and this is the most recent column posted, then I have missed the deadline for VERN TELL’S IT LIKE IT IS #15, my second column of the new Millennium 2000. To be frankly honest bud that means ol’ Vern has probaly gone out in a blaze of glory, I’m thinking maybe in a terrorist bombing, apocolypse type situation or battle with oppressive police forces. I guess I could have got run over, heart attack, shot or starved to death but I just hope its something good whatever it is. At the very least I got my computer ripped off or been taken prisoner by marauders. (read the rest of this shit…)
Well ever since I got out I’ve been trying to catch up with all the pictures I missed while I was out of the picture. But the truth of the matter is I never saw all that many pictures before I got in either. So I figure why only review new and recent movies, if I want to be a real film Writer I gotta study the classics.
WARNING: This unfinished review here was written in the year 2000 when I was young and stupid. I’m leaving it here for the comments, for historical purposes and for my own accountability, but please if you’re just looking for a review of HARD TARGET read 
This is a cartoon but its not for kids and its not Japanese. If you don’t know in japan the cartoons are not only for kids, there is also demon raping, etc.
What this picture is about is these two kids who go around riding their bikes and hunting cats, and there are alot of filthy houses, and ugly rednecks talking shit about the blacks and punching each other. Then they find a dead cat and just keep shooting it with pellet guns. In the opening scene two kids are making out in a junkyard and the boy finds a lump in the girl’s tit. Later this guy is trying to make out with a black midget and Chloe Sevigny teaches her little sister how to pull hairs out of her nipples with duct tape. 
I’m sure most of you motherfuckers know that Rudy Ray Moore is one of the pioneers of independent Cinema, one of the greatest orators of our times and easily the rawest presidential candidate of the last two decades. What you might not know is that in addition to his fine collection of pictures (Dolemite, Petey Wheatstraw, Avenging Disco Godfather, etc.) Mr. Moore has a live concert film in the style of the Eddie Murphy standup pictures he did back when he was trying to copy Richard Pryor instead of dress up in a bunch of funny disguises and fart. 
Well this is not a good movie in my opinion. In fact WHAT the fuck is my man Bruce doing in this piece of garbage. I bet when he watched the premiere for this shitpile he started feeling nostalgic for those baby movies.
This is Richard’s standup film from 1985 and like you damn well oughta expect from Richard, it’s some funny shit. It is interesting to contrast this one with his 1979 Live in Concert because Richard has gone from being a genius to being a superstar. The opening credits play this ’80s style funk and show giant billboards advertising the show. Then a spotlight comes on in the back of the theater and Richard struts his way through the audience, and you see this cockiness on his face that is almost like a different person. Everybody loves Richard when he’s on stage being funny but this is something else altogether as you feel the outpouring of love from the audience and you see how it gives him strength. 
This is a video I have seen on the shelfs alot but I never got around to renting it on account of it is only 45 minutes. And who the fuck wants to pay 3.50 or what not for 45 minutes of standup when you could just watch scrambled Def Jam Comedy Jam for free.
