"CATCH YOU FUCKERS AT A BAD TIME?"

Infested

INFESTED (Vermines) is a very good French giant spider movie I watched on Shudder a while back and I’m happy to recommend it for your October viewing (or otherwise). It’s a movie with tons of style, energy and personality as well as, you know, spiders. The opening has almost an INDIANA JONES, adventure movie kind of feel, as we follow a pick up truck of Arab smugglers into the desert where they smoke a swarm of rare spiders out of a hole to capture in plastic containers. These things are so deadly that when one of their crew gets bit they have to put him out of his misery with a machete, but they still pack some of them up. And one of them will end up in Paris.

This is a good creature movie, but for me it could go in some other genre direction and still be amazing, because it’s just so good at establishing this setting and the main character Kaleb (Theo Christine, GRAN TURISMO), and you may assume one thing or another about him but you keep finding out he’s more odd and complicated than you had previously assumed.

I don’t know about you, but I didn’t even realize at first that Kaleb would be the protagonist. He’s introduced in a little shop hassling Ali (Samir Nait) about the poor selection of jewelry he has for sale, eventually talking his way into the back office to see some better merchandise not everybody gets to see. Among other things Ali has a bunch of terrariums and containers with exotic lizards and, of course, one of the spiders. Kaleb notices it and marvels that “It looks so dope!,” so he ends up leaving with the spider as well as the earrings he came to get as a gift.

He goes home to the building where he lives, helps the janitor Ms. Zhao (Xing Xing Cheng) with the garbage, and gets in a scuffle with some other residents for being mean to her. So we know he’s got a heart. And we fear he’s gonna drop the spider during all this, but he doesn’t.

He goes to his storage space, where he keeps stacks and stacks of collectable sneakers obtained through unspecified means. His partner Mathys (Jerome Niel, LOST BULLET 2) also steals bikes, which Kaleb doesn’t necessarily disapprove of, but he tells him not to steal from their neighborhood.

Okay, so now we get that he’s a black market shoe reseller or whatever, but here’s one of his quirks: he holds himself to very high standards. Even though he has the shoes that Toumani (Ike Zacsongo) wants he refuses to sell them to him until he can replace their box, because it was slightly water damaged by a leaky pipe in the storage space. Toumani doesn’t give a shit about the box at all, in fact he immediately discards it, but to Kaleb it’s a matter or principle. When he gives Toumani the shoes he also gives him a little speech about taking care of them, like it would just pain him to see them get scuffed up.

We keep getting these little reveals about his life that we wouldn’t expect. #1, he and his sister Manon (Lisa Nyarko) actually own the building, having inherited it from their mother. Manon is doing repairs herself because they can’t afford to hire anyone, and they’re fighting because he refuses to sell it, caring about the neighbors too much to allow them to be priced out by a new owner. (Likewise, when the killer spider shit goes down, he’ll refuse to leave anyone behind.)

#2, the earrings he was buying as a gift at the beginning were not for a girlfriend, they were for an older neighbor named Claudia (Marie-Philomene Nga, KIRIKOU AND THE WILD BEASTS) who’s moving out and she’s kind of an auntie figure to him. He’s a fuck up, but he’s a nice kid too.

#3, the most important and craziest surprise, is that like Ali he collects rare species and has his bedroom filled with terrariums. (Another frequent fight with Manon is her repairs causing the power to go out and turn off their heat lamps.) He has frogs and grasshoppers and snakes and stuff, and he talks to them, as he does to the spider when he (very stupidly) puts it in the damaged shoebox as a temporary nesting place until he gets a tank set up.

#3b, when former friend Jordy (Finnegan Oldfield, NOCTURAMA) comes to help Manon remodel the bathroom, and there’s tension between them, it turns out they grew up together and dreamed of opening a reptile zoo but had a falling out related to Kaleb’s illegal iguana biting Jordy on the leg. It sounds funny but it’s really not played for laughs, unless it’s too dry for me to detect. It’s just what these characters are about. I personally do not expect iguana-related beef in the French equivalent of a hood movie, but I respect it.

It’s embarrassing but I’m one of those people who somehow retains that primal instinct from the ancient days when mankind (I’m assuming) carried magic swords and battled giant spiders, so when I see the big brown ones we have around here my body reacts in fear. It’s not as bad with movies but this particular one is well done enough that I found myself flinching and shuddering more than I’m proud to admit. The visual FX are well done and they use real spiders whenever they can. I have a friend who has it worse than me and I actually advised him not to watch it. But if you share this affliction I offer the good news that at least for me the outlandish monster movie rules made it more tolerable as it goes along. The things quickly grow to a preposterous enough size that I didn’t have to think of them as real anymore.

But even when I wasn’t reacting viscerally I was able to enjoy the design and execution of suspense sequences, the dread created when we don’t know where the things are paid off by them eventually being all over the damn place. There are all kinds of threads set up: Kaleb not telling anyone he’s missing a spider and found an egg sac, the expectation that the spider is gonna be in Toumani’s shoe, Toumani’s dog eating a spider and then acting weird, that kind of stuff. There’s an asshole neighbor (Emmanuel Bonami, MARS EXPRESS) who thinks Kaleb is a drug dealer and other ones who stay in their apartments and don’t find out what’s going on. Kaleb tries to account for everybody, and meanwhile spiders crawl out of vents, shower drains and the mouths of the dead, and for a while people foolishly try regular methods like catching them in a cup or spraying or hitting them with a sandal. Even when they’re not recklessly poking their heads into cramped areas, they end up having to navigate through a labyrinth of webs with those fuckers crawling around in a variety of sizes.

Director Sébastien Vanicek seems to have a strong sense for how to move the camera, employing both very controlled movements and handheld really effectively. The cinematographer is Alexandre Jamin, whose experience is in shorts and music videos.

One thing I really liked, and never could’ve guessed to expect, is that this is the most ACAB killer spider movie of all time! Okay, you’re right, it’s not saying that all cops are bastards because Manon’s friend Lila (Sofia Lesaffre, Ganglands) is said to be an off duty “municipal cop,” and we like her. But she’s not really there as a token good cop, she’s there to have her eyes opened about what the big boy departments are actually like. When she tries to call the police for help she can’t believe they’re not responding, and the others all laugh. “Obviously you didn’t grow up here.”


What rings very true is that the residents call the police for help, but the only thing they know to do is repress and terrorize the people who live there. So first they think there’s a disease spreading, and force the residents to stay inside the building. Okay, that gets a ton of people killed, but it was a mistake. Nobody would’ve guessed it was killer spiders. Fair enough.

But then there’s this big set piece where the survivors must courageously maneuver through a long hallway covered in webs and thousands of spiders. They figure out that the spiders won’t move if there’s light shining on them, but it’s already been established that the only light in the hall is on a one minute timer and the dial for it only works on one end. Harrowing shit, but they make it and… (spoiler)… the motherfucking cops block the door, won’t let them through, spray tear gas in at them, throw flash-bangs. So to escape the spiders they have to break through the door and then bare-handed fight a platoon of angry, armed and armored riot cop assholes. Even a little later, when they’re about to face off with spiders bigger than large dogs, the cops keep Kaleb zip-tied and want to arrest him for shooting a cop’s less-lethal weapon in self defense. Petty and useless to the end. Almost a documentary.

Not that it’s a message movie. It’s just a fun time that takes place in a specific world. It provides a wide variety of horror, suspense and action. I was really nervous that they weren’t gonna fulfill the Chekov’s-MMA-skills set up during Claudia’s party, but it does come up briefly. There’s a trajectory to the whole thing because the bigger the spiders grow and the more the building gets webbed up the more it seems removed from reality.

This is the first feature for director Sébastien Vanicek, who is credited with the idea and co-writing with Florent Bernard. Sam Raimi saw INFESTED and was so impressed he hired Vanicek to direct a new EVIL DEAD movie of some kind. Raimi has proven really good at seeing potential in shorts and first features and helping their directors flourish – I never would’ve guessed how good a director Fede Alvarez would become just based on that Panic Attack! short. So this is the first time I’ve been able to say “oh shit, yeah, this guy is great, can’t wait to see what he does with an EVIL DEAD!”

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2024 at 3:21 pm and is filed under Reviews, Horror. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

18 Responses to “Infested”

  1. Great review and going to check this out for spooky season. I loved Arachnophobia as a a kid and rewatched with my daughter a couple of years ago and just couldn’t get into it unfortunately like I expected to. This one sounds like it’s got more bite to it.

    When you mentioned black market shoes I immediately thought of Niketown which I’m ready now. Enjoying the hell out of it.
    I got a King one next after yours that I’ve never read to get to for my October horror read.

    Vern, you referenced the actor who was in Nocturama. Have you seen this one by chance? It was maybe my favorite that year and would love to read your take on it.

  2. I mentioned it here several times before, but through the years I developed some reaaaally bad arachnophobia. And it’s a REAL arachnophobia, where even a picture of a spider can push me into a panic attack and not just the “Eew, a spider!” that most people have. Like last night I had a nightmare about a tarantula in my bed and that meant that this night I had trouble sleeping because I couldn’t get the images out of my head and every little noise made me turn the light on and check for tarantulas in my bed. And we don’t have tarantulas here. Our spiders are most of the time pretty small. More little dots with thin legs, but that’s already enough for me. But two times times I had big, grey/black ones in my apartment and in the last few years I was called that so-called “Nosferatu Spiders”, who are supposedly some seriously big and scary looking fuckers, made themself a home in my part of Germany although I thankfully haven’t seen one yet.

    My point is: I kinda wanna watch this movie because I know it will be a good scare, but I will not watch this movie, because I wasn’t even able to finish the review without freaking out. And that sucks.

  3. No, I haven’t seen NOCTURAMA, only know the name as something people liked at the time, but don’t even know what it is. Thanks for the recommendation.

  4. I’m afraid I’m going to need some kind of scale on this, like if The Return of the King is a 1 or 2 and that bit in Holy Mountain is a 7 or 8 and Eight Legged Freaks is in the middle somewhere, where would this one sit?

  5. Almost every night when I walk the dog, I see the same spider chilling in the same spot. I’ve named her (apologies if I am misgendering the spider) the White Widow and I worry if I don’t see her for a couple nights. Anyway, spiders don’t scare me, though I prefer they don’t crawl on me.

    Your description of this movie makes me think of ATTACK THE BLOCK– petty criminals or crime-adjacent misfits in an apartment block banding together against an outside threat, in which new, sympathetic details about our protagonist are revealed.

    Also interesting that Sam Raimi is turning the EVIL DEAD franchise into a sort of boot camp or proving ground for up-and-coming filmmakers.

  6. Welcome Vern! I think it will be up your alley and there is an homage that I think you’ll find interesting.

    DF Noir-you forgot the greatest of all..Charlotte’s Web.

    Bill-I’m with you on spiders. I’ve never been scared of spiders and like them personally although would not want them physically on me either. I was mixed on Evil Dead Rise but it is awesome that he focuses on up and comers with potential. If this director will scale back the CGI in the next one that would be fantastic. The last one just had that IT Chapter 1 & 2 factor that deflated some of the tension and any scares.

    Side note-I got to meet Sam and Ted Raimi a couple of years ago and they were just a pleasure to hang with for 5 min. Very kind.

  7. Deepfriednoir – I haven’t seen EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS but aren’t they giant? I would think this is higher for me because there are real spiders and/or real-sized spiders in many of the scenes. But maybe that’s my own quirk to see a difference there.

  8. In EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS (which I actually saw in theatres, because back then my phobia wasn’t that bad) they start out normal size, but grow quickly. That said: You should review that movie. It’s fun! I wish I would be able to rewatch it.

  9. Thanks Vern! Yeah the Eight Legged Freaks were mostly giant and somewhat goofy but Jesus there were SO MANY of them. Further up the panic-inducing scale would be, like, the opening of Enemy or the spider-in-the-bed scene in Dr No which I, a lifelong Bond fan, watched for the first time only three years back. My comfortable outer limit is probably Holy Mountain and if there’s anything worse (from what I’ve heard The Beyond might be?) then I simply do not want to know.

    I’m getting more tolerant these days though. I just watched the trailer for Infested and it didn’t make me shit myself, so I dunno, I dunno. It does seem like my kind of film. I might give it a try but stand back from the screen near the door like my dad pretending not to enjoy Terminator 2.

    My wife loves spiders and hates horror movies so maybe between us we can get through the whole thing.

  10. I once missed out on a date with a really sexy hair fetishist btw, because she owned a spider and couldn’t wrap her head around me being irrationally scared of them, btw. She apparently loved her spider more than my hair. Oh well.

  11. CJ – I also saw Eight Legged Freaks in the cinema (on a date, otherwise I absolutely would not have had the courage) and it doesn’t get talked about much, but I feel like it was a watershed film for arachnophobes because it was a spider movie that a lot of us could actually sit through and have a good time. It probably even helped me a bit.

  12. I mean, the titular EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS make funny cartoon noises courtesy of Frank Welker. That is indeed fun. Still, I’m not sure if I will be able to sit through it again.

  13. I admit for a while I had this confused with STING, which actually came out at around the same time this year. I guess we’re not supposed to think it’s weird that we go a couple of years without spider movies, and then two come out at the same time? This happens an awful lot. There should be a website dedicated to this sort of VOLCANO/DANTE’S PEAK, OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN/WHITE HOUSE DOWN, BABE/GORDY sort of trend. Remember the two Steve Prefontaine movies that came out at the same time?!?

  14. I love that Vern’s account of antiquity seems to include Hobbits with elven weapons used to fight giant insects. I await the Scientific American article that will inevitably now come out to confirm those recently unearthed fossil remains of Javanese pygmies or whatever were discovered to have used some kind of forgotten recipe Damascus aluminum to defend against megafauna decapods or something, proving this account to be correct. Probably somewhere between the times when the oceans drank Atlantis and the rise of the sons of Anarchy.

    I fuckin love spiders, man. Me and the guy who did Ghost and the Shell, apparently, as those robots are all based on arachnid anatomy. Combined with me being a weird anthropomorphicizing softie in my old age- I don’t even like throwing away half eaten chicken because I feel like I’m dishonoring the spirit of the noble creature raised specifically to feed me, and judge myself accordingly- I do my best to escort them all outside to provide more perimeter defense against bugs that ARE ideological enemies of mine, like mosquitoes and chiggers. It’s very Starship Troopers- I don’t want to start that war, but the chiggers decidedly drew first blood so now it’s a blood vendetta against them all. We never get a giant mutant chigger movie, though (or at least not one marketed well enough to penetrate my defensive cocoon) but if someone does that, then I’ll join you guys in the Jeff Daniels paralysis fugue state. This one might has me wanting to fire up the ol Shudder subscription again so thank you for the tip!

  15. STING is borderline unwatchable nonsense – others may find it so bad it’s good, but I gave up on it after a little bit; It just seemed so deeply mediocre, like Blumhouse when they’re not even trying. I say this as someone who endured the entirety of NIGHTSWIM.

    On the other hand, this sounds great – I was going to watch it one night when I was browsing French horror on shudder, but I opted for KANDISHA instead when I saw it was by Maury & Bustillo (it’s all right!).

    On the same hand as the good stuff: “I might give it a try but stand back from the screen near the door like my dad pretending not to enjoy Terminator 2.” – a very vivid, relatable image that made me laugh.

  16. Also – the new Hellboy movie has a fight with a large spider, but it’s filmed by one half of the folks who brought us crank working with a relatively low budget, so you barely get to see it properly; All you arachnophobes should be all right.

  17. Unfortunately, I did not like this film at all. The spider attack scenes worked the first couple of times, but then you realize they are all shot the same way: a long, ominous shot of some object, and then suddenly a hundred spiders crawl out. It gets tiresome. The ACAB stuff did not work for me at all. I found it ridiculous that they had to add fighting with cops to the climax of this spider monster movie. Anyway, I’m glad Vern and Sam Raimi liked it more than I did.

  18. I’m mostly with Timo on this one. I thought the ACAB stuff was good, providing a topical new way to get around the common monster movie problem of why they just don’t leave the area, and it added to the inner-city milieu, which remains a novelty in the nature-runs-amok subgenre. So it’s got a lot going for it, but unfortunately the constant bickering wore me down before long. I don’t think anybody agrees with anything anybody else say in the entire movie. Every remark leads to a shouting match. It became mechanical and monotonous and, ultimately, obnoxious. The spider attacks were well realized but didn’t have any real money shots to make them worth spending all this time with these shrill, annoying characters. Pretty much all we see them do is skitter around in the dark. Maybe it works better if you’re an actual arachnophobe. The suggestion alone might be enough to generate thrills. It didn’t do much for me, unfortunately.

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