SON OF GODZILLA (1967) is Godzilla picture #8, coming one year and one day after EBIRAH, HORROR OF THE DEEP and from the same director, Jun Fukuda and same writer Shinichi Sekizawa, this time with co-writer Kazue Shiba, whose only other credit is a war movie called ZERO FIGHTERS. Masaru Sato also returns as composer, with some goofily upbeat themes to represent the title character.

When I reviewed EBIRAH I learned that it was set on an island so they could build fewer models and save money. This one continues that trend but seems even more economical, without any city scenes at all. The only man-made structures are a science lab built on remote Sollgel Island. Sometimes they’d cut to a shot of a tower and I’d think I was watching Thunderbirds.

Like in so many Godzilla movies the human characters are some scientists, a reporter, and a lady. The scientists are here to test an experimental weather control system. The reporter Maki Goro (Akira Kubo, THRONE OF BLOOD) parachutes in without permission because “the scent of a story fans my creative flames.” They try to make him leave but he refuses and then they reluctantly let him stay and take pictures if he’ll be their cook. Goro spots the lady, Saeko Matsumiya (Bibari Maeda, VAMPIRE HUNTER D: BLOODLUST), swimming and tries to take a photo (the perv) but she disappears. When he mentions her to the scientists they don’t believe him, but later he sees her again, stealing one of his Hawaiian shirts. When he catches up to her he learns that she’s been stranded on the island for years, since her archaeologist father was killed by a giant spider. (R.I.P.)

The team’s experiments involve weather balloons, which have been jammed by a mysterious signal. And did I mention there are giant mantises on the island? They call them Kamacuras, and one of their balloons explodes and sprays radiation on the Kamacuras, making them even more giant. Then they all go to a pile of dirt and claw at it until they dig up an egg, which hatches a little tadpole guy who we know with 20/20 hindsight is Minya/Minilla, though he’s only called “a baby Godzilla” or “Godzilla’s son” in this movie. The scientists realize that the signal that fucked up their experiment was this Baby Godzilla calling to his father, who now arrives to fuck up all the Kamacuras except the one that flies away (as JACK REACHER would’ve predicted).

If you know Godzilla movies then you know this roley-poley little fellow. He looks more like Frog and Toad than Godzilla to me, but he does have the beginnings of his dad’s back spikes. I suppose I can see how his thighs could plump out and his neck could get longer and his head could stretch out and he could mature into a proud radioactive thunder lizard. I guess. What I really forgot though is how much cuter he is in this one where at first he appears to be a puppet instead of a guy in a suit. He mostly crawls and makes seal noises or a little cry that sounds kind of like “papa.”

A highlight is when he slips on a rock like it’s a banana peel, lands ass-first on it, then holds his ass because it hurts. We all enjoy a good “my ass hurts” joke.

By far the best part of the movie and the only part I remembered (making me think this was a good one) was when Minya sees Godzilla’s radioactive breath and tries to copy it, but only a smoke ring comes out. Godzilla turns into supportive Dad and encourages him to keep trying, but he only succeeds when Godzilla steps on his tail. Later Minya has to fight the giant spider Kumonga and at first can only blow smoke rings. You really root for the guy.

Sometimes Saeko makes a whistle sound that gets Minya’s attention (her own version of the signal) and throws giant mangos into his mouth, but every time she does Godzilla shows up like a strict dad forbidding him to play with those troublemaker kids down the street. But later he comes to rescue Saeko. It’s all about connections.

There’s alot of movie without monster battles, and when they do happen there’s alot of spraying of white fluids that I recommend not thinking too much about. Forget I mentioned it and made screengrabs. It’s not worth it.

The Kamacuras are kind of cool puppets, though, and I like how Godzilla picks them up and flops them around like rag dolls, which they pretty much are. There’s a good body slam or two. And I love when one of them runs and he blasts him with fire breath and then there’s a shot of a flaming mantis leg flying through the air. It’s like when there’s a car crash and you see one wheel fly off.

Godzilla and son take care of the bugs (using monster violence) and meanwhile the scientists come up with the plan of making it snow with their weather machine. Godzilla and son embrace and freeze as the humans happily explain that they won’t die, they’ll just hibernate, and then they leave on a submarine. Man, why did you have to do that, you weren’t even staying, why didn’t you just leave them be? But it plays as a happy ending.

I remember in the comments for EBIRAH some of you said this was a bad one, and I see what you’re talking about now. For a bit I was kind of into the human story, I liked that Goro was in this situation where he gets to live on a tropical island with pretty nice facilities, and he’s more curious about the island than the scientists, and gets photos of a giant mantis, and meets a lady, and in one scene does seem to be attempting to cook a good dinner. But this one definitely has less to offer than the others. Fairly lackluster monsters, not much in the way of mythology, and unlike EBIRAH there is no dance contest, unless you count the way the Kamacuras wiggle their arms.

Let me think of some positives. I was intrigued by the puzzling bit about how Saeko thinks Goro shouldn’t wear red because it’s for girls. Maybe it’s a cultural thing, maybe it’s a trick. He lets her keep his red Hawaiian shirt, which she later tucks into white pants and looks pretty good.

There is a funny pair of headphones with the head band nowhere near the guy’s head. I wanted a bird to fly down and land on it. Maybe this is not a very strong compliment to a movie to say there are funny headphones, but I think we can all admit we enjoyed looking at these things. There’s no shame in it.

I suppose I do appreciate the unanswerable riddle of how Godzilla has a son and all the related questions it brings up. Who laid the egg, how long ago, how much did this catch him off guard, is he worried about how much it will cost, etc. And I like Godzilla’s big goofy eyes and smile in this one. In the opening it makes him look absolutely crazy, but later it looks like maybe fatherhood is chilling him out a little.

APPENDIX I: Born the same year as Minya

Minya is more than just a nepo-baby. Being born in 1967, he’s an elder Gen-Xer. Other celebrities born in 1967:

Kurt Cobain, Vin Diesel, Julia Roberts, Pamela Anderson, Jason Statham, Vanilla Ice, E-40, Lisa Bonet, Laura Dern.

APPENDIX II: My chronological Godzilla and Gamera reviews

I have the Godzilla and Gamera blu-ray sets and for religious purposes I have been very slowly going through them chronologically (mixed together). I never really knew where any of them came out in relation to each other, so it’s interesting to watch them in release order and see the evolution. Sorry, I didn’t write about the first one, but here are the reviews in the series so far:

1954 – GODZILLA

1955 – GODZILLA RAIDS AGAIN

(1961 – MOTHRA)

1962 – KING KONG VS. GODZILLA

1964 – MOTHRA VS. GODZILLA
GHIDORAH, THE THREE-HEADED MONSTER

1965 – GAMERA, THE GIANT MONSTER
INVASION OF ASTRO-MONSTER

1966 – GAMERA VS. BARAGON
EBIRAH, HORROR OF THE DEEP

1967 – SON OF GODZILLA