15 Years of Excellence

Today is the 15th anniversary of what as far as I can tell was my first ever post on the internet. It was brief and to the point but I was adding an insightful inquiry to someone else’s movie related thread:




Group: rec.arts.movies.current-films

In article <19990828080311.27480.00001153@ng-cr1.aol.com>,

me…@aol.com (Menop) wrote:
> Including the girls of “The World Is Not Enough”
> http://www.comedyontap.com/bondgirls.html

couldn’t find the pictures – anybody have any luck?

sorry, frist timer here, i just got out

Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Share what you know. Learn what you don’t.


You can see some of my other great early works here.

In honor of this historic milestone TODAY ONLY I am offering the ebook of Niketown for 99 cents. You just have to order it on Smashwords and enter the coupon code BZ98L

I probly shoulda arranged to have a deal on naked Bond Girl pictures but this will have to do.

This entry was posted on Saturday, August 30th, 2014 at 7:34 am and is filed under Blog Post (short for weblog). You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

26 Responses to “15 Years of Excellence”

  1. Just ordered it. Awesome! Happy Internet birthday (metaphorical) Outlaw Vern.

  2. Let me be the first to congratulate you on your anniversary. There are not many people who deserve to celebrate something like that, but you’ve come a long way and gave the world so much. (Including a well written defense of CRYSTAL SKULL that I still send to anybody who hates it.)

  3. That naked Bond Girls link goes to the campaign website of California congressional candidate Rodney Lee Comover. Which is some genius cross promotion if you ask me.

    Congratulation on the milestone, Vern. It’s funny to think that you already had your internet persona picked out when you were just commenting on threads about famous titties. That’s dedication to a bit. Question: Now that we know you’re a great big phony, how much of your old-school newsies-infuriating Vern-acular was a deliberate stylistic choice and how much of it was the honest sub-competence of a new Writer slowly learning his craft?

  4. “Now that we know you’re a great big phony, how much of your old-school newsies-infuriating Vern-acular was a deliberate stylistic choice and how much of it was the honest sub-competence of a new Writer slowly learning his craft?”

    C’mon Majestyk, you don’t want him to answer that. It’s very midichlorian.

  5. Thank you for the deal on NIKETOWN, Vern. I really appreciate it. Congrats on this whole internet thing working out. The words must flow!

  6. Web server Co-Location – If you actually desire complete control over every element of your web server, you may effectively prefer to buy one and preserve it on your own if you have adequate knowledge. Nevertheless, chances are that you still do not have the sources to keep your server entirely secure from power outages, roof leakages, thieves, reckless employees and various other hazards and keep it on the web on a fast, high-bandwidth connection whatsoever times.

  7. I don’t know what you’re talking about, Majestyk. Or you, http://Www.Sluhosting.Com.

  8. The Original... Paul

    August 30th, 2014 at 1:25 pm

    So Vern, didja really start your career as a spambot, then gradually become sentient? Because if so, that would explain SO MUCH.

    Anyway I look forward to the day when you become Skynet and we end up fighting over humanity’s very existence.

    I’d take the deal on Niketown, but I’ve already got my copy. Hah!

    Now I apologise about this off-topic diversion, but I’m not sure anybody even knows the forums are live right now (they were down for a while during an update). So for anybody not totally disinterested, try this link: https://outlawvern.com/forum/music/paul-does-rap/ . The point is: I’m going to try actually listening to rap music, instead of what’s become an old excuse of “oh, I know nothing about rap”. Why now? Because I’ve come across some that I really like, and I thought it would be an opportunity to expand my cultural tastes into other areas, hopefully in a way that you guys can share. (It seems like rap comes up on a weekly basis here nowadays.)

    So the idea is to listen to the best rap music out there, then write down what I think of it and what I take from it. If any of you has any suggestions for artists and their best songs / albums for me to try out, please post ’em in that thread. I’m looking for stuff that I will like – the first item will be by Notorious BIG. I’ve got three specific items planned, and after that I’m “winging it”. Hopefully using suggestions from other people who know a lot more about the subject than I do.

  9. Missed it by one day. Goddamn.

    Anyway, congrats, Vern. Nice to see the birth of a legend.

    For your next birthday, can you make the Kindle version of Seagalogy available in South Africa? I’ll send you biltong or something.

  10. Jareth Cutestory

    August 31st, 2014 at 9:09 am

    Paul: Cheeky, aren’t you? Show some respect for our host, the Lawnmower Man. As the links in his article demonstrate, he’s come a long way since he was a mere Lawnmower Boy.

    Also, here’s a few album suggestions for when you’re feeling adventurous:

    Death Grips: The Money Store
    El-P: I’ll Sleep When You’re Dead
    Shabazz Palaces: Black Up
    Le Rumeur: L’ombre Sur La Mesure
    DJ Krush & Toshinori Kondo: Ki-Oku

  11. Those are advanced studies, Paul. I recommend you start with classic New York style hip hop. Biggie is a good jumping off point, but for the love of god do not listen to Life After Death. It is a horribly bloated summer blockbuster of an album that tries to be all things to all people and often fails. Stick with Ready To Die, the only front-to-back great album Biggie ever made.

    Other staples:

    A Tribe Called Quest – The Low End Theory
    Gang Starr – Daily Operation
    The Beatnuts – Street Level
    Wu Tang Clan – Enter the Wu Tang
    KRs-One – Return of the Boom Bap

    Alternately, vintage West Coast rap can be a good entry point. The sound is a bit fuller and more inclusive. The Chronic and Doggystyle are the biggest titles, but my recommendation is NWA’s Efil4zaggin, a dark and cinematic masterpiece of socially disreputable sex and violence and sinister, sophisticated soundscapes. It sounds like the way sleazy action movies felt in the 80s: like something you’re not supposed to know about, which was always part of the appeal of early hip hop.

    Good luck, Paul. Don’t be afraid to google the slang.

  12. The Original Paul

    August 31st, 2014 at 12:00 pm

    Thanks for the recommendations guys. There’s a lot there to keep me occupied. And by the way, this isn’t something like my “one film every day” thing that I did over Christmas at the end of 2013. I’m gonna take my time and try and appreciate everything I listen to. I’m not sure how often I’ll update the thread, but I’ll try and keep adding to it over time.

    Majestyk: “Stick with Ready To Die, the only front-to-back great album Biggie ever made.”

    Way ahead of you – did that one earlier today. And I don’t know about his other albums, but that one just hit me like a truck (but a good truck, you understand). I reviewed it in the forum post.

    I know I started this off-topic stuff, but can I ask anybody else to put their suggestions and recommendations in the forum post rather than here? The only reason I posted here in the first place was because if I went straight to the forums only, nobody would see it (the forums have been “down” for a while). I don’t want to totally derail the 15 year celebrations.

  13. This “Mr. Bryan Frankenseuss Theiss” fellow almost seems more like the Vern we know today than 1999 Vern

  14. Congrats on the milestone Vern, and thank you. I am a better and more thoughtful person for having read your reviews.

  15. congratulations Vern! 15 years ago I hardly even knew what the internet was, being a little kid and all

  16. The Continental Op

    August 31st, 2014 at 3:14 pm

    Many happy returns, Vern. I rarely comment but have read you for years and own every book with your name on, including the great Niketown (a physical copy). One of my favourite writers in any medium.

  17. Congratulations Vern – this remains my favorite site on the internets, and I’m looking forward to the next 15 years.

  18. I’m just really happy Vern that you’re not some old dude with cheap prison-forged tats that say “Mom” with a love heart through it like I thought before The Confession. Good to know we’ll have your unique voice around for a while.

  19. Knox – I don’t really have control over the books that Titan publishes. I don’t know how that works. But if you use that Niketown coupon code today before midnight I think it might still work.

  20. Congrats on the anniversary Vern. Here’s to many more years of Excellence.

  21. Congrats Vern. I curiously followed your posts from aintitcool to learn about your “backstory” from the famed geocities sight, to the very early posts on rec.arts.movies. Even in the early days, the straightforward wisdom of Vern was evident. It’s been a pleasure to read along and enjoy the ride as you’ve grown as a critic and a writer. I greatly appreciate the correspondence I’ve had with you about the seemingly insignificant subjects I’ve brought up, which you always engaged wholeheartedly. Thanks, and many more.

  22. Well done on sticking with it this long, and all the deserved success that’s came with it (and still to come, I’m sure).

  23. heres to another 15

  24. But did Vern ever make it to the Black Hills in Idaho, and did he find a good hostile there?

  25. keep them coming Vern!

  26. Congrats on the milestone Vern,keep it up

Leave a Reply

XHTML: You can use: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>