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Posts Tagged ‘Shakespeare’

The Tempest

Friday, September 23rd, 2011

tn_tempestTHE TEMPEST is the story of this wizard lady named Prospera (Helen Mirren) who lives on a small island with only her cutie daughter Miranda (Felicity Jones) and her monster slave Caliban (Djimon Hounsou). Also she has a slave named Ariel (Ben Whishaw) who’s like a naked sprite guy (with boobs?) who flits around and does her magical bidding.

She’s got some books and beakers and shit but this is an island made up mostly of volcanic rocks. There’s not much of a night life or anything, it’s gotta be kinda lonely. Her daughter’s never even seen a human man before, what’re they gonna talk about? Rocks? Trees? Beakers? (read the rest of this shit…)

Titus

Friday, February 11th, 2000

TitusThis seems to be a slow time of year for Badass Cinema. For these last few months we’ve had everybody and their uncle waving their ass around trying to get Oscar’s attention. We’ve had some real quality pictures of course like The Limey and further back Fight Club, the type of pictures that ignore Oscars and Golden Globes altogether and go straight to the more credible awards presentations such as Vern’s motherfuckin Outlaw Awards 1999. And I suppose Bruce has a new one coming out this week where he plays some kind of comedy hitman or whatever, but I gotta be honest it looks like some kind of sitcom shit to me. I might check out this Pitch Black but even that is questionable because judging by what I’ve read about it and the commercials and what not, and based on my knowledge of cinematics, I feel there may be a problem with the mise-en-scene, as far as between the auteur and what I feel is a rather aggregious, uh — well, basically, because I’m broke.

SO, I have been planning very carefully for what my next picture to see in the theater would be, trying to make a decision I wouldn’t regret for the rest of my life, in case I’m broke for the rest of my life. You never know. So anyway a while back I decided on a picture by the name of Titus. Unfortunately many of you won’t be able to see this picture yet because it’s only playing in a few select cities, but then I’m not you so what do I care. Anyway I figured this would get me my money’s worth because 1) it’s only playing at the baddest theater in my area 2) it’s about 3 hours long, which in my opinion gets you more minute of screen time per cent paid for ticket 3) it is from a writer with a very good reputation, William Shakespeare, so it probaly won’t be more of this Scream 3 type of garbage and 4) it is supposed to be Mr. Shakespeare’s bloodiest picture. (read the rest of this shit…)

10 Things I Hate About You

Wednesday, March 31st, 1999

You know with the year 2000 and everything maybe my new year’s resolution should be to cut down on sex with young women. now don’t get me wrong 18 is my cut off point, I’m not going down again and that’s a fact, jack. But still this may be too young for ol’ Vern and let me explain why.

A lot of gals 18-21, although they are not all teenagers or in high school they still like movies about high school. that time period is still important to them so they enjoy to watch the movies. At first it is just a joke and they watch it with the whole irony type thing and everything but in the end they go “That was actually pretty good.”

Well the problem I have with this is they bring the video over to my house and I have to watch it and that is how I saw 10 Things I hate About You. The gal I believe her name was Katie or Kelly or something along those lines, she says this is based on a william shakespear play. It retells an old story in a contemporary high school type setting and in this respect, according to kassie, it is trying to recapture the formula of the movie Clueless. (read the rest of this shit…)