So once again we have survived.

Season of the Witch (2011)

tn_seasonofthewitchI can’t really think of a compelling reason why anybody should see SEASON OF THE WITCH, but it’s way more watchable than I expected. The trailers were dreary and cheap looking, it didn’t look like there was anything very original or exciting about it, it’s from the director of GONE IN 60 SECONDS (remake), and then I think it got delayed but I can’t really prove it because nobody was waiting for it to come out so who would remember?

mp_seasonofthewitchBut you know the reason I saw it: Nicolas Cage. He does only about one line of vaguely mega-acting. He pretty much just plays plain old Nicolas Cage, and they didn’t try very hard to make his lines sound like something a knight would say. The characters pretty much talk like normal modern individuals. “We’re gonna need more holy water!”

Cage and Ron Perlman play the two most badass mass-murdererers of non-Christians in the Crusades. Through a montage we see them having a good time through several different battles, saying things like “you get the 300 on the left, I’ll get the 300 on the right.” Just going around chopping up people and joking about how whoever ends the lowest amount of human lives will have to buy the other one a beer, ha ha ha. I guess I gotta give the filmatists credit for just having them say “you owe me a drink” and not specifying Bud Light or something like that. So at least we know they did their research on that one, Bud Light did not exist yet during the Crusades. Good catch.

Also it’s nice to see Ron Perlman in a movie where he gets a few things to do. He deserves better than this, but alot of times he gets worse.

Anyway they decide they don’t want to fight anymore so they get locked up, just like Muhammad Ali. But while they’re in the joint the Bubonic plague is fucking shit up, including Christopher Lee, who has an Elephant Man type bubble on his head and fucked up teeth (props to the makeup department on that one, it’s really disgusting to look at). The Church decides that the cure for the plague is to send the witch that caused it to some place where some priest guys will do a magic book thing that you do to a plague-causing witch. I don’t know the exact terminology, but I don’t feel bad about it because I think I do understand how viruses work better than these fucking guys. Give me credit for that at least. Forget about the magic book, just wash your hands.

Anyway, Nic and Ron are let out to deliver the witch to the other place, which Nic agrees to on the condition that she gets a fair trial when she gets there. This sets up  some dramatic possibilities because what the fuck chance is there to give her a fair trial, especially when the crime she’s being accused of is some magical bullshit that doesn’t really exist? We’ve already seen in the opening how alleged witches get lynched, and the girl tells Nic about the drowning test. One of the guys in the entourage also points out a conflict of interest: if the church says bringing the witch to this place is gonna cure the plague, are they really gonna turn around and tell the people “oh, we gave her a trial and it turns out she’s not really a witch so we can’t help you on this one”? No, they’re gonna do whatever they can to prevent a panic.

So I’m thinking they’ll say she’s a witch, but Nic’ll know they’re full of it, he’ll have to bust her out to protect her from getting burned at the stake. This man is a soldier, a warrior. He solves problems by killing whoever the church points him at. So when he’s faced with an ethical dilemma that pits him against the church and some of his own men it’ll be interesting to see how–

–oh, never mind. Then she starts acting evil and causing wolves to attack them and shit. So (SPOILER) she just turns into a CGI flying monster at the end and they gotta stab her. Well, I guess they lucked out, that made it an easier problem to solve.

I mentioned in my review of that movie SOLOMON KANE that I have kind of a weird issue with these movies that deal with witch hunts and then have it that there really are evil magic bitches that do wicked spells on people. Because this is a real life shameful thing that the human race is responsible for, they really did execute innocent human beings on the mistaken belief that they had magical super powers. I don’t know how fair it is for me to have a problem with this, I know it’s just fantasy, but to me it’s in poor taste to have a fantasy world where the shitheads who did that were actually correct and doing the right thing.

I mean, you can depict historical atrocities without pointing out that they’re bad. I recently watched the first season of that HBO show ‘Rome,’ because so many people tell me to watch it every time I write or talk about Ray Stevenson. I thought it was excellent, and especially the way they handle the fucked up aspects of the Roman culture. You get to like this guy Verenus and his family and he quits the army because he doesn’t believe in fighting for Caesar. He wants to be home and mend his relationship with his wife and become a legitimate business man. No problem, he invested in some slaves a while back, he pays a guy to keep them in a pen and feed them, he can go pick ’em up and sell ’em.

It’s the most horrible thing but the show is smart enough to pretend not to see it with modern eyes, it just shows it as if you’re not gonna be offended by it. And when he brings a little boy slave to the house his daughters treat the kid like he’s a puppy and they want to keep him.

It’s the same way with the religious beliefs and medical practices. These otherwise reasonable people will explain real world events as the result of something the god Jupiter did, or a doctor will very knowledgeably explain what animal you might try sacrificing to which god to help your ailment. The show doesn’t wink at you about it, it just acts like they’re right, and it comes across as almost kinda deep to me, as a parallel with us. We talk a big game like we know what the fuck we’re doing, but years from now probly a few of those things will seem as ridiculous as killing a bird to heal your head injury.

SEASON OF THE WITCH is different because although they do show the Crusades and witch hunts pretty matter-of-factly instead of saying “hey guys, this is bad,” they complicate things by bringing the supernatural into it. The practice of slavery in Rome would be more iffy if they showed that the gods were real and thought it was okay. So that kind of bothered me throughout SEASON OF THE WITCH.

But there’s a twist! In the (SPOILER) end, if I understood correctly, it turns out that lady is not a witch. She’s a demon. And demons want to make crusaders believe in witches so they’ll start killing ladies willie nillie. Stupid crusaders. You fell for the ol’ season of the fake witch trick.

You see, witchfinders? You shouldn’t be doing that shit, you’re just falling into their scaly, clawed hands. You should’ve listened to me.

In conclusion, watch Rome if you have time. SEASON OF THE WITCH not necessary. Not good enough to be good, not bad enough to be funny.

VERN has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the books SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL, YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER!: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS and NIKETOWN: A NOVEL. His horror-action novel WORM ON A HOOK will arrive later this year.
This entry was posted on Monday, August 15th, 2011 at 11:52 am and is filed under Fantasy/Swords, Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

66 Responses to “Season of the Witch (2011)”

  1. So you’re telling me there are zero witches in a movie called Season of the Witch? Blasphemous.

    While we’re on the subject of HBO shows though you should totally check out….

    Wait for it…..

    THE WIRE!!!!!!!!

    Psyche!!!! I was gonna say Game of Thrones! Unlike The Wire it doesn’t take three seasons to start getting good.

  2. It scared my girlfriend a little. We both agreed that while it was a complete piece of shit, we didn’t want to stop watching.

  3. I went into this movie with intensely low expectations, I also noticed the cheap and shoddy trailers and the delays and Season went from a movie I was rabidly awaiting to something I just threw on the Netflix queue and forgot about until it showed up.

    I LIKED IT. Quite a bit. It was cheesy and ridiculous but Cage takes it serious as all hell as always, Ron Perlman brings a great badass presence to the movie, and the story never stopped entertaining me. There were sword fights and demon wolves and mass beheadings of zombie priests, plus the sacrificial ending where SPOILER Hellboy gets burned alive (I smiled at the irony), and Cage gets stabbed in the back about 49 times. Harsh.

    Come on. This movie was way cooler then it had any right to be. You just gotta be in the right headspace I guess.

  4. I’ve only seen season one of The Wire but I can’t believe you’re actually saying the brilliant first season isn’t even the first good season of that show. That’s crazy.

  5. “but to me it’s in poor taste to have a fantasy world where the shitheads who did that were actually correct and doing the right thing.”
    But aren’t they actually NOT doing the right thing if they were so overzealous and awful at it that so many innocent women were killed? That’s like saying the greater scrutiny and iffy detainment of muslims during the War on Terror was right because muslim terrorists exist.

  6. Nabroleon Dynamite

    August 15th, 2011 at 12:53 pm

    I went to a friend’s house to shoot the shit over a few bottles of Becks and he had this shit on right about the time the “We’re gonna need more holy water” line dropped.

    It was cool…the little bit that I saw, but I told my boy he needs to peep “Black Death”

    That was the dope shit!!

  7. Stu, I have no idea what you’re saying. Are you saying there WERE evil witches in the dark ages or that there aren’t Islamic factions (amongst others) who use terrorism as a political tool in the modern world?

  8. “Stu, I have no idea what you’re saying. Are you saying there WERE evil witches in the dark ages or that there aren’t Islamic factions (amongst others) who use terrorism as a political tool in the modern world?”
    I’m saying just because any particular threat exists doesn’t excuse the “collateral damage” caused by idiots who try to tackle those threats, especially when the grounds those people use for their actions are pretty tenuous, as was the case with witch trials:
    http://youtu.be/YjeqRHdBwkY

  9. Nabroleon’s right, BLACK DEATH is a flawed movie but a vastly more interesting, nuanced take on similar material.

  10. ^okay, I realise my last post does make it seem like I WAS saying there really were witches. But I wasn’t. It’s hard mixing real life examples with historical fantasy fictional scenarios integrating some factual stuff, okay?

  11. Stu, why are you racist against witches and Muslims?

  12. Yeah, Stu! Why! Let’s get the fire and pitchforks, we got us a troll to burn.

  13. Damn, it’s a good summer to be bringing up random Nic Cage films that I’ve never heard of. Thanks Vern, although I gotta say that if your reviews are on key (and they usually are) then there’s probably a good reason why “Next” and “Season of the Witch” aren’t generally regarded as being on the same level as “Adaptation”, “Face: Off” and “The Wicker Man”.

    I’ll check out “Next”. Can’t say I’m that interested in this one though. Sure, I’m all for a good Nic Cage performance, but this doesn’t sound like the kind of thing to put bubbles in my bathtub.

  14. This is one of your best reviews, Vern.

    Also, The Wire gets great in the first season and gets even better from there. A Game of Thrones is pretty mediocre, but online nerds want to really like it so they see past its huge flaws. Rome is a far superior show that deals with some of the same ideas that A Game of Thrones works with.

  15. “Stu, why are you racist against witches and Muslims?”
    Why don’t you know the difference between race and religion?

  16. Vern, you should really check out “Black Death”, its basically this same story but told realistically with a smart portrayal of how witches and non-believers were treated during the time period.

  17. There were a couple of interesting moments in the film, especially the scenes of Nick and Ron are in the Crusades. But I would have preferred a little more crazy from Cage. At times the film seemed so dour, and the washed out look didn’t help any. I did like a couple of quips from Pearlman.

    Oh, and was it just me, or when the demon appeared did he speak with a patois? What the hell was up with that?

  18. Paul, are you saying that people regard The Wicker Man as being as good as Adaptation and Face: Off? That’s not even possible.

  19. Vern, do you have an unofficial policy to not fully review these cable shows (like Rome) that I’m sure you watch from time to time, because the episodes aren’t self-contained films? I think you’ll find a lot of your favorite unsung heroes (like Stevenson) doing their best work on TV.

    Except for maybe the A.V. Club, there’s an absence of adept critics online who actually give their time to a season of TV, exploring it with the same depth and sensitivity that the best film critics do. I think that’s a mistake, because obviously TV has made huge strides in the last 10 years and everybody should stop pretending that the best TV can’t stand toe-to-toe with the best films.

    You dabbled a bit with Justified and Steven Seagal: Lawman, but why not put out a review a couple times a year of a great show you’ve been following? You would be doing us a favor. Rome is one of my favorites, as was Deadwood, and the ongoing Breaking Bad is definitely one of the best things on TV ever…the list goes on and on.

  20. I don’t think it would be fair to other actors that Ron Pearlman (or Tommy Flannigan for that matter) gets to be in Sons of Anarchy AND star in good movies, it’s gotta be one or the other, otherwise you’re just being greedy with your roles.

  21. Game of Thrones is mediocre? Hardly. That show is riveting. The books are far superior but that show delivers the goods on a weekly basis. Action, murder,intrigue,betrayal,romance, humor, dragons,tits,Peter Dinklage in the role of a lifetime. Dude you be trippin”(that’s how people talk, yes?).

    BOOM!

    Best Drama Series: Game of Thrones
    • Supporting Actor in a Drama Series: Peter Dinklage as Tyrion Lannister
    • Writing in a Drama Series: David Benioff and Dan Weiss for “Baelor”
    • Direction in a Single-Camera Series: Timothy van Patten for “Winter is Coming”
    • Casting in a Drama Series: Nina Gold and Robert Sterne
    • Costumes for a Drama Series: Michelle Clapton and Rachael Webb-Crozier for “The Pointy End”
    • Hairstyling in a Single-Camera Series: Kevin Alexander and Candice Banks for “A Golden Crown”
    • Main Title Design: Angus Wall, Robert Feng, Kirk H. Shintani, and Hameed Shaukat
    • Non-prosthetic Makeup in a Single-Camera Series: Paul Engelen and Melissa Lackersteen for “Winter is Coming”
    • Prosethtic Makeup in a Series: Paul Engelen and Conor O’Sullivan for “A Golden Crown”
    • Sound Editing for a Series: Stefan Hendrix, Tim Hands, Michelle McCormack, Steve Fanagan, Andy Kennedy, Jon Stevenson, Robin Whittaker, Caoimhe Doyle, and Eoghan McDonnell
    • Special Visual effects for a Series: Adam McInnes, Angela Barson, Lucy Ainsworth-Taylor, Raf Morant, Henry Badgett, Damien Mace, Stuart Brisdon, and Graham Hills
    • Stunt Coordination: Paul Jennin

    Oh hell no DB just dropped the Emmy nominations on your ass! ARGUMENT OVER! You can go to bed now. Sweet dreams.

    To try and steer this slightly back towards the topic at hand, Paul Scheer does a pretty funny podcast called “How Did This Get Made” and they do an episode that goes over this movie and it’s some pretty funny shit.

  22. Hey Vern! You going to see Aliens at the Egyptian this weekend?

  23. Sternshein – I have a weird sense of humour. Some people never get used to it (to pick an example purely at random, the loveable but uncultured diamond-in-the-rough who refers to himself only as “Mouth”). This MAY have been an example of it. I’m just sayin’.

  24. Patrick – I guess the problem is I don’t really want to do an episode by episode review and I don’t know if one review does justice to an entire season. But I probly should’ve written about Rome when it was fresher on my mind. That was a really great show with alot of interesting things going on. I love the lack of heroes and villains. I actually felt bad about it by the time Caesar was (HUGE HISTORICAL SPOILER) assassinated. And I love how Brutus is sad about it and mad at his co-conspirators for celebrating.

    I’m giving it a little break before I watch season 2 just so I don’t burn through it too fast. But I look forward to it.

  25. Season 2 is excellent but in an incredibly frantic way as they are told it will be the last season so they try to cram 3 or 4 seasons into the last half of the season. It’s still really good stuff but I still can’t help think of what might have been. The last episode of the series is still one of my most favorite episodes of any television show ever.

  26. I really hated Season of the Witch, and you guys know I’ll forgive lots of bad movies to see Nicolas Cage. This was just boring and devoid of any personality.

    True story (according to Nic Cage), he agreed to do this movie because he wanted to get shot through the eye with an arrow. Then they didn’t let him get shot through the eye with an arrow. So that explains it.

    Also, if you watch the alternate ending on the DVD, it’s the exact same ending, only it’s the girl with a little makeup instead of the demon. They must have totally painted over her with that CGI demon, as if that was going to “save” the movie. It would explain the delays.

  27. Patrick, I think there are some TV critics who go way into depth on TV shows, episodes and seasons at a time. If you can find someone you like who’s beat is a show you watch, I think there’s some good stuff out there.

  28. I saw this a couple weeks back and thought it was okay. The last 20 minutes or so somewhat made up for the plodding nature of everything leading up to it, in that it was kinda exciting in a way that the rest wasn’t (including the wolf attack, which I wish had been better). Still not a particularly great flick, even though I don’t regret watching it; I just don’t think I ever need to check it out again. More Mega from Nic would have been welcome but I guess that would have seemed out of place for the character, unless in the end he just lost his shit and went fucknuts on everything.

    Which woulda been pretty cool, I gotta say. But then you could say that about most Nic flicks.

  29. Game Of Thrones is a mediocre tv-show in the same way that Nicolas Cage is a mediocre actor. In other words it’s not mediocre at all see, because Cage is a great actor. Just not in Season Of The Witch, or Next, or… I’m just saying Game Of Thrones is a fantastic show, okay. Quit your bitching.

    I love Rome just as much, especially season 2. Marc Anthony has got to be James Purefoy’s best role ever, that guy owns.

  30. NICOLAS CAGE 1/6 SCALE HEAD, 145rmb:
    http://item.taobao.com/item.htm?id=10558843619

    This would look great in my lounge (in a 1/6th scale glass cabinet perhaps) but I don’t want to have to explain to everyone that its Nic Cages head, it looks more like Liam Neeson to me and what kind of weirdo would have a Liam Neeson head on display??.

  31. Vern, I thought you had a point when you raised the witches-as-mysogny idea before. (Especially, as I recall, because you used some jews-during-the-holocaust analogy.) But now that you mention it again, it seems like a very problematic claim. Because:

    Supernatural legends that figure into horror movies all draw on some historical superstition, and most superstitions hurt somebody. Example: What about exorcism or antichrist movies? These all presuppose that the basic cosmology of the Catholic church is correct. (God and Satan really exist.) But the Church is an institution that has used stories about Satan to license all kinds of horrible things. A world — even a fantasy world — in which Satan is real is actually in pretty bad taste. It’s a world in which all non-Catholics, for instance, are going to burn in hell.

    Other things in movies that we like in bad taste: arabs as bad guys; hillbillies as bad guys; bereaved, vengeful white men as heros; rape and murder as plot devices … etc, etc.

    Which is all to say that exorcism and antichrist movies are pretty good, and a movie about witches in the Dark Ages could also be pretty good. (SEASON was not such a movie, but nevermind.) Hell, a movie in which jews in Germany circa 1930 really were supernaturally evil and the heroic nazis were fighting them …

    … well, that’s clearly a terrible idea for a film, on a very large number of levels. But I would watch it. If only to prove a point.

  32. That Nic Cage head looks more like Fonzie, if you ask me.

  33. Patrick – I can recommend two sites for you – http://www.avclub.com has a great tv section, and also http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com

    Vern, as many have already mentioned here, it would be interesting to see how you compare this with Black Death.

  34. Black Death is not much better than Season Of The Witch if you ask me. It’s got a good setup but then it turns out to be pretty dull with terrible fight scenes. The stuff at the village isn’t too exciting either until the very end (yes, that one scene with Sean Bean is pretty cool).

    The main attraction for me was seeing Carice Van Houten, but that’s just because I’m Dutch. Really, she’s not that good of an actress when she doesn’t speak her own language.

  35. Oh yeah, Carice van Houten. I remember her from that kids movie, where she played a cat, that got turned into a human.

  36. Never saw that one but I’m sure it’s true. Carice pretty much plays the lead in 90% of all Dutch films that come out.

  37. So kinda like a female, Dutch late 90’s Til Schweiger?

  38. I guess so! Was Til Schweiger ever considered to be a good actor in Germany? I’ve only seen him in American films, where he never made much of an impression. Except for Inglourious Basterds, of course.

  39. Well…he was popular. And I give him credit for trying to get German movies off the ground, that were neither RomComs or Oscar baiting History (as in Nazi) dramas. But no, I don’t think that anybody ever thought of him as a good actor.

  40. I seem to remember that Der Bewegte Man was kinda cool.

  41. I’m with you on the witch persecution shit, Vern. It really bothered me in a little Christopher Lee movie called Horror Hotel.

  42. I see your Rome, Game of Thrones and The Wire and raise you Deadwood.

    Deadwood is the best. Yep.

    Vern, if you’re a true badass fan – and I’m sure that you are – then Seth Bullock on Deadwood is required viewing.
    “Tell them… I’ll be waiting!”

    Also Charlie Utter.

  43. Carice Van Houten really impressed me in Black Book. Actually, that whole movie impressed me considering I’d just about written off Paul Verhouven and had never seen a Dutch movie in my life. Since I have a good track record of Carice Van Houten movies that start with the word Black, I’ll have to check out Black Death.

  44. I’m looking forward to the new season of DEXTER. Edward James Olmos and Mos Def!

  45. Season 4 of BREAKING BAD is starting over here in October. That’s all.

  46. was Carice van Houten the main character in Black Book? aka the woman that got completely naked? (and later dyed her pubes blonde)

    because ya know….that was hot, never would I have thought a WW2 movie would give me a raging boner

    *clears throat* anyway my favorite ridiculous Nicolas Cage moment (outside of “killing me wont bring back your damn honey”) is in Gone in 60 Seconds when him and Angelina Jolie spy on a couple making out and about to have sex and then Cage talks about sex in car parts metaphors

    pure Cage ridiculousness

  47. I’m pleased to see all of the love for Black Book. To me, that film was right up their with some of Verhoven’s best. It did a fantastic job of complicating WWII but in a way that seemed particular to Verhoven. Only he could make a film where a Jewish undercover spy could fall in love with a Nazi. I also thought it was interesting that Black Book came out around the same time as Lust Caution, a similar film by Ang Lee. I watched both films within months of each other and it was an fascinating look at two directors at the top of their game. I’m not sure I would ever revisit Lust Caution, however, because it is crushingly depressing.

  48. Don’t feel too bad for Pearlman. Sons of Anarchy is a terrific show that knows exactly how to use him.

  49. I like Til Schweiger.

    SINK, YOU FOOOOL!!!

  50. Black Book (or Zwartboek) was indeed amazing, with a fantastic role for Carice. She really is a good actress but mainly in her Dutch speaking roles. I guess that may also be because those are usually starring roles that give her a lot to work with, instead of just playing the wife in stuff like Repo Men and Valkyrie. I also think her American accent is a bit shaky, I can always hear the Dutch come through.

    Saying all that, I’m excited she’s been casted as Melisandre for next season of Game Of Thrones!

  51. Carice Van Houten is also very good in Dorothy Mills, a low key horror
    which reminded me a little of the original Wicker Man, rather than The
    Excorcist, which the marketing blurb would have you believe.

  52. Til Schweiger is a lunkhead and a total douche. I’ve seen him since the early 90’ties on german telvision, his special brand of acting is embarrassing to watch. Speaking of Television:
    The Sopranos, The Wire, Deadwood, The Shield and Breaking Bad shame almost everything that plays in the Movie Plexes today.

  53. I made it a rule to never have a conversation about Til Schweiger on a non-German website without linking to this:
    http://youtu.be/Ev_RSgI7mYs

  54. Limey: I’m trying to think of a character on DEADWOOD that ISN’T awesome. I think I like almost all of them. And so many of them are badass: Swearegen, Wu, Trixie, Doc, Sol Star, Cy, Calamity Jane, Garret Dillahunt (twice!). Even the anonymous henchmen are cool. I don’t think I was bored for a single second that the show was on.

    But I greatly preferred CARNIVALE.

  55. Even Farnum is kind of awesome in his whimpering way.

  56. NEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!!!!!

    I have no idea what was going on in that clip, but I laughed

  57. Unlike The Wire it doesn’t take three seasons to start getting good.

    I am in the midst of watching the Wire straight through right now, and I’m halfway through season 4. I must be weird because I frickin loved seasons 1 and 2, thought 3 was sort of an unfocused retread, and so far 4 is not blowing my skirt up either. This Marlo Stanfield crap is tiresome, the guy has no real character or personality compared to Stringer and Avon. And there’s no more ‘team of semi-good cops against a corrupt system’ anymore, just a bunch of disconnected characters having disconnected episodes of frustration. Also WTF with McNulty going all domestic with the harbor cop lady. What am I missing?

    Seconding the praise for Deadwood, though the series finale felt like a huge non-payoff to me. I really wanted to see Al Swearengen standing in the charred ruins of Deadwood surrounded by the corpses of all the other characters, shaking his fist and screaming “COCKSUCKERS!” (spoiler: that isn’t the ending)

  58. Here is a little article on Philip K Dick, from somebody who loves his stuff but finds his style of prose embarrassingly bad at times:

    http://www.themillions.com/2011/06/philip-k-dick-and-the-pleasures-of-unquotable-prose.html

  59. Although not the original topic I will echo sentiments here regarding some coverage of the HBO/FX type TV on here if time permits.

    Deadwood and Breaking Bad have both blew my mind recently and if you want to see Ron Perlman get a role he deserves then Sons Of Anarchy is where it’s at, no doubt.

    I understand that time can be at a premium, you not only would have to watch the shows but spend time formulating your thoughts on them and then produce an essay of sorts, you are missing out on some serious BADASSERY bud and I think you’d get a lot out of mulling over the morality of these shows too.

    For the record though, whatever you put together would surely be worth a read and I have no doubt would to justice to the source.

  60. Apologies if the above is a bit awkward to read gents. Should’ve checked it before clicking reply.

  61. Quite liked this film, not really sure why. I didn’t hold out much hope either with the ridiculous depiction of the Crusades or when the Priest claims they had 400 leagues to cover in 6 days (so 1200 miles then in less than a week) and it went downhill from there but still I thought it was ok as a piece of complete nonsense goes.

  62. Jareth Cutestory

    True about the characters in Deadwood, but it’s Bullock’s barely contained rage and Charlies fearlessness that make it for me.

    However, well selected on both Garrett Dillahunts. Wolcott was also amazing. I think Jewel also deserves a mention, come to think of it.

    But not Cy. Cy was a monumental asshole.

  63. Garrett Dillahunt is pretty versatile. It bent my mind for a second when he re-appeared in Deadwood as a different character because he was so different. He was good in No Country too… even that sitcom he’s doing by the ‘My Name Is Earl’ guys has some good moments courtesy of him.

  64. It’s pretty funny that Cage and Perlman’s characters wade through hordes of enemies during the crusades without breaking a sweat, but a few wolves get in their way and they get all flustered. Made me giggle, at least…

    Even with that, It was surprisingly not as bad as I had heard it would be. I was expecting something on the level of Red Riding Hood. It’s still not a keeper, though.

  65. Just watched BLACK DEATH and didn’t think it was any better than SEASON OF THE WITCH. Sure, in the last 15 minutes the movie finally decides that it doesn’t want to be another “witches were for real and people were absolutely right to burn them” story after all, but other than that, it’s just another dull, colorless period piece that tries too hard to be gritty. At least SEASON OF THE WITCH had Cage and Perlman and SOLOMON KANE had that medieval Darth Vader guy and that cool looking monster.

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