I'm not trying to be a hero! I'M FIGHTING THE DRAGON!!

Rank

tn_rankOkay, my last two reviews brought out everybody’s expertise of mixed martial arts competitions and professional wrestling. Let’s see how you guys do with this sport.

RANK is another John Hyams documentary in the tradition of THE SMASHING MACHINE, but this one’s in the world of professional bullriding. In both sports Hyams has documented so far the athletes break parts of themselves that they aren’t gonna be able to fix. And the filmatistic approach he used in SMASHING MACHINE ain’t broke so he doesn’t fix that either: it’s almost-direct cinema (just following people around, but they do talk to the camera sometimes), hypnotic score, themes that make themselves apparent and don’t need to be underlined. This time around it looks like he got better cameras, though. The cinematography is outstanding.

mp_rankHyams follows the finalists in the 2004 Professional Bull Riders World Championship, a 7-day event in Las Vegas. He also follows a bull trainer hoping to become Livestock Trader of the Year. We meet these people on their ranches and with their families and then we see them transported to this stadium in the middle of Las Vegas. There’s a great montage of traditional Vegas sights underlayed with country guitar as the rodeo fans all shuffle in in the daylight.

This is gonna sound outrageous, but I never gave bullriding much thought before. It just never came up, you know? RANK does a good job of explaining how it works, and of leaving you trying to figure out why they do it. They gotta hold onto the bull and have one hand in the air for 8 seconds, or they get no points. If they make it they’re judged half on their riding and half on the bull’s bucking. There doesn’t seem to be much art to it, and more balls and grit than skills.

The injuries these people sustain make MMA look like some girls having a tickle fight. As the days of the competition go on they get more and more beat to shit, hobbling around, showing off their misplaced bones and giant yellow bruises. One guy laughingly reveals that he’s had a giant blood blister covering one entire side of his ass and legs for days. Another guy talks about the time he got gored but luckily it didn’t hit any organs or infect him.

Then they reveal that you’re allowed to wear a helmet and protective vest, but most of these guys are too stubborn to, too traditional. I mean, what is the fun in risking getting stomped to death if your skull and brain are partially protected? It just wouldn’t have the same magic.

You think that’s rough? What about the bullfighters? They’re there to attract the bull’s attention away from the rider when he falls off. They get butted through the air, sometimes gored or stepped on. They used to dress as clowns, but now they’re treated as athletes and wear vests with corporate logos on them like NASCAR.

The big question you have to wonder about while watching this is what the hell inspires people to do this? As a city guy I figured well, if you’re raised around cattle it probly seems more sane. But one guy’s father says people accused him of abusing his son because he had him riding broncos or something as a kid. We also see a tiny little kid doing just that, taming wild horses, keeping them under control, and it’s a freakish sight. How is this kid gonna collect all the pokeymans when he’s spending all his afternoons wrestling the beast out of wild animals?

This one guy, I think his name was Justin, but he’s a real interesting character. He seems really nice, is very religious, also you gotta worry just looking at him. He’s young and boyish, but has a big line in his hair where his head was split open one time. And the rhythm of his speech seems just a tiny bit off. He’s got a wife in the crowd, and another guy has his wife and young kids, and it doesn’t look like it’s fun for them to watch. There’s a great shot near the end of the winner embracing his wife as everybody celebrates his victory, but to me her face looks less like “He did it! He’s the world champion!” than like “We just survived a plane crash – I need some sleep.” I mean, it’s more like the end of THE PIANIST than ROCKY II.

These guys are shown to be very nice, with nothing but professional respect for each other, and in some cases they are very selfless and good friends. But there’s an aspect to them that is questionable. My favorite scene has Justin I believe visiting with his mom. She talks proudly about his accomplishments and how he’s like his father, who died riding a bull right before he was born. But as she’s talking about watching her son she starts to cry. And you gotta wonder how moral it is to put your loved ones through that. That’s a question explicitly asked in Eric Bana’s racing documentary LOVE THE BEAST and the wrestling documentary BEYOND THE MAT, and it’s implicit in THE SMASHING MACHINE. But of all those sports this seems the most questionable to me. The fighters and wrestlers put on these long performances, they’re hurt but almost never die in the ring. The drivers construct their cars for safety. But these guys risk death for 8 seconds or less of pissing off cattle. We know a guy was killed last season. A guy from the PBR says he can try to talk people out of riding with injuries, but he can’t stop them if they want to do it. And that’s basically what the contest seems to be about. It’s 50% grip and 50% surviving heinous injuries.

That drive, that illogical obsession, is what makes a documentary like this great. It makes you wish you had something you loved so much you were willing to maim yourself for it. And also it makes you glad you don’t.

VERN has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the books SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL, YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER!: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS and NIKETOWN: A NOVEL. His horror-action novel WORM ON A HOOK will arrive later this year.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010 at 3:12 pm and is filed under Documentary, Reviews, Sport. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

23 Responses to “Rank”

  1. Well , Vern , I’m an expert in this particular field . I remember that in the summer of 1984 I …. uhm….milked a cow?…..
    That’s true , by the way.

  2. I once had the opportunity to see a full-fledged rodeo on the sidewalk outside of Madison Square Garden in the middle of winter. It was surreal to see all these cowboys and broncos contrasted against one the busiest metropolitan areas in the world.

    Or so I’ve heard. Like a true New Yorker, I walked by without so much as a glance.

  3. The whole rodeo thing is very alien to us Brits. We’ll stick to rugby. And soccer hooliganism. Cheers!

  4. Rodeos are fun to watch, but my God these guys are insane! I don’t understand skateboarding and basejumping either, but some guys just love being really close to death. I’ll stick to my MMA where a referee can stop a guy before I get seriously damaged.

  5. I remember when Gene Wilder’s character gets put into a rodeo competition in STIR CRAZY…that’s it.

  6. Vern how many movies do you watch per day? Not that I’m complaining but the volume of reviews you post is truly impressive.

  7. Off-topic so apologies: Bruce Willis + Gorillaz + Vanishing Point Mad Max Death Proof fast cars in the desert.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9vAOzYz-Qs

  8. Was that Luke Perry rodeo movie, 8 SECONDS, any good? Oh, wait, it had Luke Perry in it, didn’t it? Well, never mind, then.

  9. I have been to the Calgary Stampede once or twice.
    Ever seen the Chuckwagon races?
    Those guys have something missing. Absolutely bats@$t insane sport.

  10. The only other movie I can think of , right now , with some rodeo undertones is Harley Davidson and Marlboro Man.

  11. obviously PEE WEE’S BIG ADVENTURE has a rodeo subplot

  12. Hooray for the return of the “Pokeyman”. It’s been a while since you used them. :)

  13. BTW, everybody is telling me how great that new Gorillaz video is, but thanks to a fight between record labels, the GEMA and YouTube it’s blocked in my coutry and I couldn’t watch it yet. :P

  14. I’ve been headbutted by a donkey and a horse on three separate occasions*. Does that count?

    *Not at the same time, obviously. That would be crazy.

  15. Jareth Cutestory

    March 4th, 2010 at 7:31 am

    The closest I’ve ever come to a rodeo was that time Vern reviewed a documentary about horse fucking, and a self-proclaimed horse fucker showed up and fielded questions.

    If I remember correctly, the tone of the conversation way was more cordial than the average TRANSFORMERS-related talkback at AICN.

    I’d guess that the rodeo guys are uneasy about being associated with the horse fucker guys.

  16. Call it a crazy fluke and maybe I have manhood issues but in the last couple of days you’ve reviewed 2 of my fave docs SMASH MACHINE & RANK. I am not a fighter, but I’ll watch UFC and enjoy it. SMASH MACHINE was awesome I have never been the slightest interested in PBR, BUT loved RANK and suddenly had an appreciation for those guys and their mentality.

    Very surprised out of nowhere you’ve reviewed 2 great docs that I’ve enjoyed for a few years now. Just when I thought I was hipper than you for knowing about these films for a while you informed me something I was not aware of and that’s they were directed by the same guy! Maybe that’s why I enjoyed them so much. I like his approach and like the subject. While I normally couldn’t careless about bull riding there’s something about the cowboy essence, atheletic competition and warrior spirit that made it every bit of cool that SMASH MACHINE was.

  17. Vern, when I was reading your review and you were drawing parallels between this documentary and the Smashing Machine it made me think of Beyond The Matt as well. Especially the part where Blaustein shows Mick Foley the footage of his family’s reaction to the repeated chair shots to the head he is taking at the hands of The Rock.

  18. I grew up going to rodeos but we did em different here – i think mebbe we need to make a Not Quite Hollywood version of this rank doco too. For one, there was no 8 seconds or points or confusing rules – people just hold on till they get thrown off and hurt. Noone ever won something beyond applause and beer spray. What inspired was straight forward too – i saw it heaps. they get drunk and they get goaded into agreeing to do it when they are in macho mode and no way out but to climb on the fucking bull and hope not to get too hurt. On that note, honestly, there was a fuckton of drinking at every one and at the end of the day you gotta say the wives came out way worse than the riders, most of em anyhow. Kids dun fare much better. On balance though, i gotta say everyone had a overall good time. Always looked forward to em though sitting in 40+ degree sun all day cos only a summer sport. US version is liking boxing vs UFC.. or like US football with all the protection and breaks vs the real game.

  19. Best rodeo movie of all time: JUNIOR BONNER. Steve McQueen and Sam Peckinpah.

  20. I guess that makes THE LUSTY MEN by Nic Ray the second best rodeo movie of all time. Depending on your expectations, its either miles better or miles worse than the title suggests.

  21. I had a JUNIOR BONNER when I woke up this morning.

    I’ll be here all week.

  22. great review, by the by. I love docs so this one is getting pushed to the top of the list.

  23. Vern-Stop bothering this dude and get a spell checker lol!

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