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John Carpenter’s badass contract

tn_johncarpenterApparently the ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK remake is still happening. You guys know how I feel about that. In the unlikely event that somebody good was doing it this could actually be a good story to retell. The problems are

1. who the fuck you gonna get to play Snake Plissken? I mean, come on

2. that means no ESCAPE FROM EARTH, and fuck that. Kurt Russell is even cooler at this age than he was then, I want to see him play Snake again.

And of course the odds are against them choosing somebody great to direct, so I was happy when I thought this had fallen apart.

Anyway, this new article from the Vulture blog reveals some new information about the script and, most importantly that John Carpenter included a few important clauses when handing over the remake rights:

New Line had to sign a contract with John Carpenter stipulating, among other things, that Plissken “must be called ‘Snake'”; “must wear an eye patch”; and that he would — and we’re not making this up — “always be a ‘bad-ass.'”

I guess that means that keeping Snake Plissken Snake Plissken is more important to him than ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 and some of the other ones. Or maybe he learned from those remakes.mp_escapefromnewyorkOf course, this brings up some questions, like, if they have to fucking do this, who should they get to direct and to play Snake?

After many talkbacks on topics like this I learned an important rule: no matter what it is, any remake, any sequel, any adaptation of a book or toy or video game or food, the best director for the job is Paul Verhoeven. Try it, it works for anything. GI JOE, HALLOWEEN 3, CONAN, the RACOON HAMLET remake. All would be best under Verhoeven’s perverted eye.

So my number two choice for this one would be John Hyams of UNIVERSAL SOLDIER: REGENERATION. I think he could get the tone down, could include some more elaborate action sequences than in the original, and would definitely find some weathered tough guys and not just a bunch of smooth-faced youths pretending to talk tough. If some studio hotshot somewhere finds out about Hyams and is smart enough to hire him for something like this he or she will go far.

I don’t know about Snake, though. I can think of a couple people I might accept, but nobody I would be excited about. Maybe you guys can do better.

I still like my buddy Mr. Armageddon’s suggestion of Wesley Snipes as Duke of New York.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 10th, 2010 at 11:50 pm and is filed under Blog Post (short for weblog). You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

103 Responses to “John Carpenter’s badass contract”

  1. Til Schweiger.

  2. who are the couple people you might accept, vern, to get the ball rolling?

  3. I’ll watch anything by Paul Verhoeven or David Cronenberg.

  4. It’s obviously going to be Sam Worthington, guys.

  5. caruso – remember when it was obviously going to be Gerald Butler?

  6. caruso_stalker217

    February 11th, 2010 at 1:12 am

    He had the stubble right, at least.

  7. Neil Marshall to direct and Ray Stephenson as Snake. Job done.

  8. My other rule is that you can cast the Punishers for anything. So any of the three Punishers might work if they have to have a new Snake Plissken.

  9. hugh jackman

  10. As someone who knows the work of Til Schweiger for almost 20 years, I can say that he should NOT play Snake Plissken!

  11. Kevin Nash – 7 feet tall, 5 feet wide, looks like Jeff Bridges’ head on Lou Ferrigno’s body. Seen-some-dark-shit old wrestler vibes, untapped acting potential.

    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xdnzTEhNJow/SQDsPDdHX_I/AAAAAAAAD0I/TaICaie4mqw/s400/Kevin_Nash__1.jpg

  12. Oh and Takashi Miike to direct cos he can pretty much direct the phone book right now and I’d watch it… hehe…

  13. BTW, I’m for Clive Owen. Y’know, the good Gerard Butler.

  14. biomechanical bell end

    February 11th, 2010 at 3:16 am

    Clint to direct and star.

  15. I actually watched Uwe Boll’s Far Cry (not bad except for the dreadful sound fx for weaponry which made them sound like they were bought from Toys R Us), which starred Til Schweiger, before seeing him in Inglorious Bs. He comes across like Van Damme in his prime but with better acting skills. You know how Van Damme’s characters always have to be written as French-Canadian, or French-Cajun, because he can’t shake the accent (and yes i know he’s Belgian, but they speak French and Flemish as their prime languages)? That’s Til Schweiger. So unless Snake is suddenly going to be re-imagined as ex French Foreign Legion or some such, I think we can rule out any actor who can’t carry a convincing American accent.

    How about getting Val Kilmer back into shape? He was a great bad-ass in Spartan.

  16. I vote for Lee Marvin, with Peckinpah directing.

    Til Schweiger seems to be hated by German film fans for reasons unknown to the rest of us. We just see him as that guy from INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS. It’s kinda like when Bertolucci cast Keanu as the Buddha because he hadn’t seen BILL AND TED. Well, not really. But it is like something.

    What’s the deal, CJ? What’d the guy do, star in the German equivalent of PATCH ADAMS?

  17. I can only guess that the way how Schweiger speaks english makes him look (and sound) more badass and tolerable than when he speaks German. He is often ridiculed for his mumbling and lack of charisma. I even heard from several people that everytime he was on screen in Tomb Raider 2, Replacement Killers and Inglorious Basterds, the (German) audience startet to giggle and chuckle whenever he started to talk.
    (And he did not star in ONE German equivalent of Patch Adams, he starred in hundreds of them. Just try to track down Manta Manta, Der große Bagarozy or Der Eisbär. But to be fair: If you try to work as an actor in Germany, you just have to take what they give you. Although he produced and directed some of his bad movies by himself, which makes it a little bit worse.)

  18. For the director, I’d go with Katherine Bigelow. As far as who would play Snake, I think Dolph Lundgren is at a point in his career where he could pull it off. Or maybe Denzel Washington.

  19. Angela Bassett as Snake Plissken.

  20. caruso_stalker217

    February 11th, 2010 at 4:29 am

    Just watched ESCAPE FROM L.A. for the first time in a while. I still don’t get the hate. Okay, I guess I do, but I still think it’s unfair. I mean this thing has everything, including Pam Grier as a hot tranny and an ending you just can’t fuck with.

  21. Personally, I’ve always (well, not always, more like since I first saw the movies I guess) thought that Snake was a great character, but that the ESCAPE movies are kind of lackluster. As such I really want to see ESCAPE FROM EARTH made, as I want to see a real Snake Plissken movie that I really enjoy, not some bound to be weak remake that retreads the same ground _again_ with some wanabee Snake.

  22. sawyer from Lost might make a good Pliskin imho.

  23. Oh and Alfonso Cuarón to direct, imagine how good that shit would be.

  24. Director: Katherine Bigelow. Plissken: Ray Stevenson.

    Duke of New York: Djimon Hounsou. Save Wesley for Blade 4: Redeem that fucking debacle.

    Gold.

  25. What I think is interesting about this contract is the possibly that it could be violated. If Carpenter takes them to court, we could finally have a legal definition of “badass” for future filmmakers to refer to.

    And yeah, it’s John Hyams and Ray Stevenson for the win.

  26. Words cannot describe the potential horror here.

    Well, five words can:

    “Shia LaBeouf IS… Snake Plissken!”

    On Cronenberg, I can take him or leave him. “History of Violence” was great, “The Fly” was ok, “Crash” and “Existenz” didn’t work for me at all.

  27. I feel like you’ve barely scratched the surface of David Cronenberg movies.

  28. David Cronenberg is the only choice.

  29. That “bad-ass” clause is awesome. In the event that ownership of this web site changes hands, I hope Vern can negotiate a “bad-ass” clause. And a clause to keep all the “probalys” and “sights.”

    I guess my vote for a Plisskin replacement would be Isaach De Bankolé, though, in truth, I’d rather see him in original material. Maybe if Vern’s review of the upcoming remake of THE CRAZIES is encouraging, I’ll be more enthusiastic about a new Plisskin project. But at the moment I simply don’t see the point.

    Maybe someone can answer this for me: Is the recent trend of remaking films in some way symptomatic of disdain for the process of a film showing its age?

  30. Speaking of History of Violence, how about Viggo Mortenson as Snake?

  31. Mel Gibson to direct and star please.

  32. If they’re gonna get Mel (i.e., an older badass from the eighties) they might as well just bring Kurt back. Isn’t the whole point of these remakes so they can put hot young stars in parts that they don’t fit in, like the Max Fischer Players’ production of SERPICO?

  33. “I still like my buddy Mr. Armageddon’s suggestion of Wesley Snipes as Duke of New York.”
    Well, why not go ahead and cast Wesley Snipes as Plissken. Snipes has got the moves, the bod, the attitude. His line delivery is impeccable. I can totally picture him kickin’ ass with the eye patch and the high-tech gear.

    John Hyams to direct is a great idea with John Carpenter himself to produce and guide him over the rough patches.

  34. Mr M, was it you who suggested Ed Harris for the pesumed DEATH WISH remake? How would you feel about him as Snake?

  35. You know, I want to like that idea, but I don’t. I think people forget that Snake is kind of a parody of a tough guy. He’s so over-the-top badass that he’s funny, the way Salma Hayek’s boobs are so big that they’re ridiculous. I think Ed Harris is way too earnest for the role. This is the man who brought gravitas to a Michael Bay movie. I don’t think he can do sardonic.

    Besides, he’s like 68 years old. Again, they might as well just get Kurt back.

  36. Ahem, Salma Hayek’s boobs are not ridiculous. they’re sublime.

  37. Mr M — yeah, you’re probably right. I can’t really imagine seeing Harris do that basketball scene from ESCAPE FROM LA. He’s too serious. Viggo Mortensen probably too. Unfortunatey the current crop of pretty boy wusses simply doesn’t include too many absurdly manly guys who could straddle that line between straight-faced bad-ass and over-the-top parodies. Come on, world, must Jason Statham do everything himself? One would think the current parodies of masculinity in wrestlers and rappers would produce someone who might be able to fill Snake’s boots, but I can’t think of anyone who has the moxie to take it over the top while also having the subtlety to pretend it’s serious.

    But what’s this about Salma’s boobs? Are you bloody mad?! There is not a single inch on her which is not perfection defined.

  38. “Can’t they be both?”
    I suppose but how to decide which is which? Is the left one ridiculous and the right one sublime? Or is that the other way round?

    But seriously guys, Wesley Snipes for Snake Plissken.

  39. I’d say Jason Statham, but I agree with some of the previous posts that the actor should be American or at least be able to pull off a convincing American accent, since the character of Snake is quintessentially American. Even though imagining Statham saying, “Call me Snake” does bring a smile to my face…

  40. I’m saying that it’s ridiculous how perfect they are. She’s like Jessica Rabbit, only a real person. The way they just bobble all over the place is beautiful but also kind of funny.

    By the way, I want to confess that I stole the whole “Salma Hayek’s boobs are so spectacular that they’re absurd” theory from Tina Fey. Watch her guest spots on 30 Rock and you’ll see what I mean.

  41. Oh shit, I didn’t think about that, it probly WILL be Statham. I mean I like the guy, I’d like to see him in something good, but I don’t want to see that.

    Viggo – that would be crazy. I don’t know that this is the role, but I suspect he has a sense of humor that hasn’t been taken advantage of yet. He’s a very thoughtful guy and a great dramatic actor, so those broody characters are what he gravitates toward. But he shows evidence of comic timing and humor sometimes, like AMERICAN YAKUZA. Just hints, but they’re there. Maybe some day.

    What do you guys think about Tom Jane? I don’t really see it, especially because he might look silly with long hair. But of today’s actors he has the most old school style badass presence that I can think of. He has kind of a Steve McQueen vibe sometimes, even though Snake is obviously more Clint Eastwood. I’m sure I’m forgetting somebody.

    Yeah, Wesley Snipes would work.

  42. I am not sure who I think who be the ideal director for this remake, but Neil Blomkamp did a lot with a little in District 9. I think Josh Brolin could make a really badass Snake. He has the acting chops, is a believable tough guy, and I think he could pull of the eye patch well. I agree with Vern that Snipes would make a good Duke of New York, but I think Michael Jai White would be even better. It would also be cool if they at least let Kurt Russell assume the role of Hauk played by Lee Van Cleef in the original. If not Russell as Hauk maybe Jeff Fahey. Fahey would also make an awesome Cabbie.

  43. I mean, the problem is that Snake’s not just an important part of making a good ESCAPE FROM NEW YORk… he’s the whole reason it exists. Someone like Tom Jane is a capable actor who could do a good job, but he’s never going to recapture the classic, iconic nature of Kurt Russel’s role. I mean, the role is just made for Russel, and then he made the character. I just don’t think there’s anyone else who could do what he did with that. No matter who it is, they’ll suffer by comparison.

    Basically, I compare this remake to the DOLEMITE remake which was an equally terrible idea. What, you think ESCAPE FOM NEW YORK is just this great story that has to be told again with new actors? First of all, we already did that with ESCAPE FROM LA and DOOMSDAY. Second, basically the same clause could be applied to Rhona Mitra’s character in DOOMSDAY. Well, I liked that one a hell of a lot more than some folks here did, but it’s just obvious that an eyepatch and a bad-ass attitude are not even close to enough to capture the same fire that Russel brought to his role.

    Now, Wesley Snipes is the only actor I’ve heard that would even come close to working (they could put a white eye patch on him — twist! Now it’s different!). He’s cool and larger-than-life, but still willing to take eveything absolutely seriously. I even think Vin Disiel might be able to fill in for Kurt given those criteria (although he has his own series of movies where he’s already basically playing Snake). But again, is this really necessary? You’re just going to have an almost-as-good version. And who needs that?

    The only way for this to go, in my view, is to try and do something different with the character. Either make it an out-and-out comedy or do it hard and mean, with Viggo or Ed Harris or someone who is gonna play it dirty and real. But if they’re going to do that, why remake ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK?

    But of course, what they should do is just let Russel fucking make a third movie, Jesus Christ, why is that so hard for these assholes to see?

  44. I’m totally out of touch with most of these young actors, but my pal Lee Marvin Girl told me that she wouldn’t be surprised if some guy named Karl Urban was offered the role, based largely on his physical resemblance to Kurt Russell. She didn’t clarify whether or not she thought this was a good thing. But certain pictures on Google seem to hint at a resemblance.

    I thought Karl Urban was a country & western singer. Turns out he was in STAR TREK mimicking Deforest Kelly.

  45. Karl Urban was way better then I thought he could be in Star Trek, and he wasn’t bad in The Chronicles Of Riddick either. He wouldn’t be a bad Snake.

  46. John Hyams and Paul Verhoeven are excellent choices. i can’t improve upon that logic.
    though i really can’t imagine Snake being played by anyone but Russell. i just… arg.
    if it must happen, Tom or Viggo would be interesting choices. NOT Gerald or Statham, c’mon guys.

  47. Karl Urban!? ARGH!! That’s exactly who they’ll give it to, and then I’ll have about one more pointless remake in me before I adopt the Christian Slater look from the box of HE WAS A QUIET MAN.

  48. I’ve recently re-watched Bronson and I think Tom Hardy is a good candidate. I remember reading somewhere that Kurt Russell himself said that the actor needs to be American , so they will probably go in that direction . I don’t mind a good actor able to speak in an American accent , so obviously The Viggo is always a good bet . And I know , Tom Hardy is supposedly playing Max in the next movie but I think that 2 high profile roles are ok in this day and age . Reynolds is both Deadpool and Green Lantern , Bale is both Batman and Connor , and Russell was Snake , Jack Burton and MacReady. But you wanna know who I think they will choose in the end? Channing Tatum .

    And I want to see Regeneration , NOW!

  49. I’m all for one of the Punishers or an older actor , but when we’re talking about Ed Harris and the like, man , just scrap the remake , re-cast Russell and do Escape from Earth !

  50. Snake, Jack Burton, and MacReady. Ah, the holy trinity. It’s a Badass Hat trick.

  51. Darryll : Holy Trinity indeed ! Thank Crom for Kurt Russell and John Carpenter.

  52. hahahah. FUCK Channing Tatum. fuck ‘im.

  53. I like Tatum. Or at least I liked his FIGHTING.

    Its the sort of movie Walter Hill would be making if he was in his 20s/30s right now instead of in the 70s.

  54. Aww shit I’m really late to this party. Anyway Cronenberg as director and Viggo as Snake. Do it…..now.

  55. Fighting was terrible. a rare lapse in Vern’s judgment. well that and H2.

  56. Dan – You’re a lapse in God’s judgment.

    HA! Burnnnnn!

  57. I think you guys are forgetting that when Kurt Russell got the part it wasn’t like he was already an established bad ass. In fact, I bet a lot of people were like “that guy who played Elvis and was in all those Disney movies, really?” I think they need to think outside of the box on this one. Like maybe Robert Pattison would be awesome as Snake. We don’t know.

  58. Now that I think of it Statham is the only one who really fits the bill. I can’t really imagine anyone else delivering Snake’s lines without making me laugh besides him. They should leave him bald though. Putting him in a black wig would be…..a mistake.

  59. odo19 – Statham as Snake reminds me of when Avco Embassy were heavily pushing Carpenter to hire Charles Bronson to play Snake.

    Love Statham, the world’s biggest B-action star, but him as Snake is….kinda boring?

  60. I forgot his name, but that one guy with the Chelsea grin from All About the Benjamins and Sons of Anarchy would be a pretty awesome Snake. Directed by Mario Van Peebles…of course.

  61. Haha I also read on wikipedia that they were pushing for a young Tommy Lee Jones to play Snake. Now THAT might have been interesting. I’ve always thought he was a good actor and outside of Hunted he’s never really had a badass role.

  62. Henry Rollins IS…. Snake Plissken. Now that would be weird.

  63. Mr. Subtlety: I only know Urban from STAR TREK, and they didn’t give him much to do in that film except imitate Deforest Kelly. Apparently he was in LORD OF THE RINGS too. What is your specific objection to him, apart from his uncanny resemblance to Billy Ray Cyrus in some pictures?

  64. He was in PATHFINDER, for one.

  65. Haha it could be worse than Karl Urban though all things considered. He was also in THE BOURNE SUPREMACY. And I liked his Bones. Who aren’t we considering? Dean Winters? Desmond Harrington? Jeffrey Dean Morgan? Michael Fassbender? Dominic West? Chris Evans? Jeremy Renner? As far as physical resemblance goes it would be hard to do better than Josh Holloway from LOST, but he feels like too much of a fanboy pick. Who would I cast? Michael K. Williams.

  66. Hm, dare I suggest Eric Bana as Snake? We know he can do both funny and badass from CHOPPER, why not show those skills to a bigger audience?

    And I’d freakin’ love Cuarón to direct (good one dieselboy), but is he “new” enough? I guess there are no requirements to remake a film (e.g. “you must have at least five major studio pictures under your belt”), so I don’t know if there’s an official “cut-off” period in this little thought exercise beyond which you’re officially too seasoned to have anything to do with an EFNY remake. Then again, maybe that’s why I find it a pointless thought exercise. Where did I file my John Carpenter classics again…?

  67. Steven Seagal IS Snake Plissken. No but seriously…it’s an impossible choice because it’s not like Casino Royale where a real actor like Daniel Craig comes in, adds some depth and layers to Bond and we all realize how much better we like the new and improved Bond.

    We don’t want a new and improved Snake, or depth and humanity. He’s just not that kind of character. His one-dimensional badassness is basically his one character trait and we strangely don’t have a problem with that. So that just leaves either us getting pissed at an overhauled Snake or us pissed at some schmo doing a poor imitation of Kurt. It’s lose-lose.

    Rambo and Rocky Balboa were profitable. KOTCS made money. I don’t see why financiers wouldn’t gamble on a modestly budgeted Carpenter-Russell final hurrah.

  68. Neal — couldn’t agree more. I just don’t see how there’s possibly a happy ending out there for this project. It’s kind of the Afghanistan of film projects, only this time, it’s not too late to opt not to go down that road.

    Jareth — nothing particular against Karl Urban, per se…. He did a reasonable DeForest Kelly, as you point out. But he’s just completely generic in most stuff he’s in (DOOM, PATHFINDER, RIDDICK, etc.). Not awful, just totally disposable. I’d rather have some staggeringly terrible choice like Martin Lawrence or something than some vaguely hunky Hollywood pretty boy. Which is why I think he’s a shoe-in, sadly.

    But that does remind me, there was one fantastic performance in RIDDICK, by Linus Roache. He’s mesmerizing in that one and even manages to stand out in tiny roles in THE NAMESAKE and BATMAN BEGINS. Give him the eyepatch and let’s see what he does. If you’re committed to going down this idiotic path, at least let’s make it interesting.

  69. for a while in this thread i thought all of the suggestions were not even close until someone said josh brolin. maybe… he… could… work… ? i dunno.

    also, i like thinking of snipes in the role.

    but yeah to echo what others have been saying this is basically a pointless exercise. we are not clearly the traget audience for this re-make. you would be hard pressed to find anyone on this sight who wouldn’t much MUCH rather see ESCAPE FROM EARTH with kurt. kurt is what we like about the movie/character.

    but, if we are gonna play this pointless game, brolin is maybe the first suggestion who i can picture balancing the bad-ass and the tongue-in-cheek. and he also kinda looks the part. or snipes. man, i keep getting sucked in.

    btw, someone earlier in the thread referred to macready, plissken, and burton as a bad-ass triumvirate or something like that, but i think it’s only proper to point out that technically jack burton is the anti-bad-ass. man i love BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA. have you guys watched it with the russell/carpenter commentary (i’m assuming many of you have)? it’s one of the most entertaining commentaries i have listened to. russell comes off as the coolest dude ever and his laugh is hilarious and infectious. meanwhile carpenter keeps making fun of him for CAPTAIN RON.

  70. caruso_stalker217

    February 12th, 2010 at 5:14 am

    All Carpenter commentaries are gold. The track he did with Natasha Henstridge for GHOSTS OF MARS gave me a new appreciation of that terrible film.

  71. Every now and again when I need a little pick-me-up I listen to Carpenter’s parting words from his HALLOWEEN commentary:

    “All children need to be told that the world can be bad and dark and dangerous. But with a little luck and awareness you can survive.”

    He just sounds so calm and reasonable (as always) that it makes me feel a little more confident about facing my day.

    In other news, I am a huge nerd.

  72. Mr. Subtlety: Lee Marvin Girl sent me an email to clarify her position on Karl Urban; she called him a “professional non-entity. – it’s like somehow all the extras have pushed the leading men out of the pictures and taken over.” She also said that the biggest failure of any EFNY remake, apart from recasting Russell, is that it wouldn’t comprehend how essential Carpenter’s score was to the success of the film.

    Mr. Majestyk: That Carpenter quote is beautiful. I’m gonna have it embroidered on a pillow and keep it with me in my panic room.

  73. After having Snake Plissken on the brain for the better part of yesterday because of this post and talkback, I was pleasantly surprised to find Escape From LA was on AMC when I got home last night. Watching it only reaffirmed my belief that Brolin would make a great Snake. Virgin Gary made the point that Brolin would be able to handle the balance of bad-ass and tongue-in-cheek needed to play snake and I could not agree more. I really enjoy Viggo but unless they want to go the Dark Night route and make a grim and serious remake I just can’t see him being Snake. However, as much as I think Brolin would be a good snake the only way I would be really be interested in seeing an Escape From New York remake it is if they got the dynamic duo of Herzog and Cage to remake it the way they did Bad Lieutenant. It would be insane!

  74. i say we pool our resources, college funds, 401k’s , find some investors and we get carpenter + russel to make escape from earth. i want to read the script to escape from earth too, if anyones got that to share?

    btw, fuck katherine bigelowe. shakey cam was unbelievably nauseating on hurt locker. i couldnt even watch the first ten minutes of that. i miss carpenter and his unmoving ultra widescreen shots.

    as long as we are throwing out casting choices, how come no one has mentioned tony ‘tiny’ lister – duke of new york a#1.

    we should also cast a superior mullet. whos got the best mullet? hell why not billy ray cyrus for snake?

    they should cancel this remake on the simple fact: all john carpenter-remake-remakes have been epic failures. assault on precinct 13, the fog, halloween. all failed right?

    doh. it looks like rob z’s halloween made 2x its budget and fog somehow made +6 mil over its (imdb estimated) budget. shit.

  75. Yeah, I think Brolin or Snipes are the best we’ve come up with so far. And I like the white eyepatch idea, that’s gold.

  76. I feel like Snipes would be great except that he’s already covered this material in the BLADE films. Blade is pretty much already the black Snake Plisskin plus vampire powers. How about a 4th BLADE movie instead?

  77. It’ll probably be Ryan Reynolds or Chace Crawford, but an unknown would probably be best. or Michael Fassbender.

  78. Elijah Wood. Think about it.

  79. I take that back. Jim Carrey! He’s tall, he can pull off a scary mullet, he can be menacing, and obviously he can be funny occasionally if you give him a few Valium first.

  80. Vern, speaking of John Carpenter, his latest picture, THE WARD, was shot in various locations around Washington. It’s due in theaters this year some time. My hopes are high. I’d love to see the master come back strong.

  81. Snipes still wanted to do a 4th Blade as recently as last year, but since he’s suing the studio over the last one that seems a little naive. Also it seems like he burned bridges with David Goyer, who I believe is just as important to Blade’s success, even if the one he directed is the worst.

    Then again, Jodorowsky made up with Alan Klein, so anything could happen. I’d like to see Snipes, Goyer and Norrington reteam.

    Shit, give Escape From New York to Norrington!

  82. compn: Just between you and me, I’m not a fan of AFTER DARK. I admire Katherine Bigelowe’s skill, I think Lance Henricksen is pretty much perfection, but AFTER DARK just annoys the shit out of me. And I was unmoved by HURT LOCKER. The shaky cam fell at the tolerable end of the spectrum for me, somewhere near the BOURNE films. But I thought the tension in HURT LOCKER was kind of one-note, and I think the characterization fell flat. I didn’t exactly dislike the film, but it didn’t really grab me.

    As for Billy Ray Cyrus: Well, he was good as a pool boy in MULHOLLAND DRIVE. But there’s something about his face that seems far too aware of his own goofiness. I’d go in the opposite direction for Plisskin, someone like James Caviezel.

  83. “Shit, give Escape From New York to Norrington!”

    *in slow motion*

    Vern – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    Keep that LXG guy away from my Snake.

    And that wasn’t full of innnuendo.

  84. If they’re looking for a physical resemblance, look at the two leftmost pics in the second row down:

    http://images.google.com/images?client=safari&rls=en&q=aaron%20eckhart%20kurt%20russell&oe=UTF-8&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi

    He seems a little earnest as an actor, though.

    Otherwise, I like Brolin. He did a great Nolte in GRINDHOUSE, I’m sure he could do Kurt. And he can be funny.

  85. I also throw in my support for Brolin. He’s got good badass presence and a little glint in his eye. I also appreciate that he shares Russell’s lineage as a former teen actor who survived adulthood in Hollywood.

  86. I don’t know if he’s the right physical type, but Ron Perlman definitely could pull off Snake’s straightfaced hypermasculinity. He’s actually a year older than Russel, though, and the white eyepatch thing wouldn’t work as well in my opinion. Actually now that I’m looking at Kurt Russel’s IMBD… Jesus Plissken Christ, his middle name is Vogel? He was the best man at Ted Nugent’s wedding?! He, “introduced guest speaker Newt Gingrich” at the conservative Wednesday Morning Club in Hollywood?!? What a world!

  87. they would never in a million years actually offer the role to snipes, so that’s probaly a pipe dream. i can see them offering it to brolin, cuz he’s pretty hot property in hollywood these days, but he seems fairly picky about choosing his parts, so who knows if he would do it? he might think it’s too similar a type of character to jonah hex, i dunno, no idea what that movie is gonna be like.

    mr. subtlety – yeah, kurt’s got some right wing tendencies. he’s a huge gun rights guy (hence: nugent). i read an in-depth interview with him in a magazine a few years ago and he said some pretty disturbing things about guns. like the interviewer brought up columbine, and he said something like, “look, i know people don’t like to hear this, but we have certain rights as people, and one of those rights is to be able to choose whether or not we want to arm ourselves to protect ourselves, and if occasionally children have to die as a result of that, well, that’s the price we must be willing to pay to guarantee those rights” (note, not at all an exact quote; merely a huge paraphrase based on my fallible memory). but in the rest of the interview he was his “coolest guy ever” self. in fact, as much as i disagree with the above statement, it is kind of typical of his general no bullshit attitude to everything, which is usually refreshing. in interviews he tends to speak very honestly about his work, what he thinks of the movies he’s done, why he did them, etc. so, i, for one, have no problem seperating his politics from his body of artistic work.

  88. though i will admit i was a little disappointed when i read that bit of that interview.

  89. Virgin Gary – To be fair, Kurt is more libertarian than right-wing. Him and Carpenter more in that anti-authority, “give me liberty or give me death!” view on Constitutional rights. The sort of guys who needed to been more vocal against the Dubya Administration in regards to torture, etc.

    What Russell said to Columbine was….well, I get where he is coming from: If you want particular rights, you gotta pay the toll to drive that bridge. If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

    Want freedom of speech? gotta tolerate those skinhead NeoNazi mother fuckers. Freedom from unreasonable seize & seizure? Have to let criminals off the hook because cops botched a search warrant. But yeah Kurt could have used better words I suppose.

    As seen in ESCAPE FROM LA where America has become a NeoCon Theocratic dictatorship, Carpenter and Russell I suppose wouldn’t be exactly fans of Cheney and Dubya.

    Guns should have been made merely a privlege, like driving a car, so the Founding Fathers fucked up there. Then again guns have different purposes in urban and rural areas, which I wish NRA and gun control people would have the depth and pragmatism to comprehend.

    In the city, why would you have a gun? You either kill somebody, or to defend yourself from getting killed. There is no other purpose to own a piece in urban areas. In rural lands, there are points of owning and using a gun. Weeding out an overpopulated species within an area, scare/kill off wildlife threats to your produce and lifestock, etc.

    When I say “rural,” I mean you know farms. Some idiots confuse that term with suburbs outside of the cities. I would apply what I said about city-guns to the suburbs.

  90. Virgin Gary: The people putting together the new EFNY just have to catch Brolin in the same mood he was in when he signed onto Stone’s W.

  91. RRA – yeah, that’s why i specifically said “right wing tendencies” and i meant only in certain areas. a lot of people who call themselves libertarian have views that are more extremely right wing than mainstream conservatives/republicans, like geln beck, etc.

    jareth – apparently stone wanted christian bale to play dubya originally. that would have been strange and i’m not sure it would have been very good. brolin was a casting masterstroke in that.

  92. Virgin Gary – Yeah some NeoCons like to parlay themselves above the fray by saying they’re not NeoCons. By hijacking another term and try to fuck it up.

    Like they did to “Conservatism.” Assholes.

  93. Re: Kurt and Columbine: Actually I have to say I appreciate a gun nut who will actually admit that, yeah, having more guns in this culture means that more people are gonna get killed by guns, and a lot of the time it’ll be pretty tragic. I mean, I disagree that this “right” is worth the suffering it causes, but at least Kurt is honest about what he considers a necessary cost of freedom. If more people were this honest about what they believe we should do and what it will cost, we might actually be able to have an actual discussion about these things. The problem comes when people start shaping the facts to fit their opinions.

    That said, libertarians are still bonkers. discuss.

  94. I’ll probably get slammed for this but what about Robert Downey Jr as Snake?

    After Iron Man and Sherlock Holmes he’s certainly proved he’s got the chops to pull off bad-ass roles. Not to mention the charisma he brings to all his roles.

  95. Nige – You won’t slammed, and I’m sure RDJ could do it.

    Isn’t it great that great actors like Depp and DiCaprio and RDJ all probably are among the first movie stars to be offered any and every project probably?

  96. Mr. Subtlety – Reminds me of those NeoCons are wanted war (which they got), but then they were anal in trying to “censor” the war from the homefront. You remember that shit of flag-drapped coffins not allowed to be photographed.

    Unfortunately that stuff didn’t begin with Dubya. We Americans have this weird fixation which we fixate upon, the idea that we could have war without consequences, a sterile clean cut conflict like that you would find in a video game. That attitude is fine for NINJA GAIDEN, but imagine if your console gave you an electric shock each time you died in GAIDEN?

    I’m reminded of SURROGATES, which had that great scene where the US Army has a whole “army” of those robots out in some foreign land on a “peacekeeping” mission, blowing everything up. Meanwhile the real soldiers are hooked up back home in America.

  97. I’m actually not too keen on Robert Downey Jr.; he’s too smirky by half. I want my Plisskin smirk-free.

  98. RRA- exactly, exactly. Americans have gradually been convinced that its possible to get things without paying for them. Both parties are to blame for their shameless pandering, but really I ultimately blame the American people for buying into this kind of clearly fatuous logic. Whenever a leader tries to remind them what reality actually looks like, they tend to resoundingly reject them (witness the governor’s election in my native Virginia, where one candidate ran on the “have things and pay for them” platform while the other ran on the “have things and never pay for them!” platform. Guess which one worked out better). So yeah, I don’t begrudge anyone their system of values, just so long as they’re willing to be honest about what it realistically means. Sadly, the dialogue has, if anything, been moving farther away from that kind of discourse.

  99. Brolin did good but part of me is sad that Anthony Lapaglia is about to reach his expiration date as far as playing Dubya goes. Spitting image I tells ya.

  100. Hey, this is an expired thread and this isn’t exactly on-topic. But what I’m gonna say does sort of tie in. It’s JC-related, AND it’s Vern-related.

    I’VE FIGURED OUT VERN’S SECRET IDENTITY. He’s Napoleon Wilson from the original AP13! Think about it. It totally fits. The look, the attitude, the criminal record.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1TJSRTix1I

    Your secret’s safe with us, Vern. I bet most of you guys didn’t even know that he speaks Italian. I’m so freakin’ smart!

  101. What are you gonna do after LOST?

    Well, probably find another TV show to obsess over.

    Sorry to sound like an asshole, but I wonder if LOST fans will be satisfied with the conclusion.

    They want something “shocking” like this shit was all planned from the start, but can’t be too boldly nutty or else it becomes ST. ELSEWHERE. But you can’t be too safe everything-wrapped-up without some bullshit explaination for everything like COACH or something.

    Did I just reference COACH at Vern’s sight?

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