"CATCH YOU FUCKERS AT A BAD TIME?"

Posts Tagged ‘Daniel Petrie Jr.’

In the Army Now /Blankman / Shake, Rattle & Rock! (August ’94 Comedy Dump)

Tuesday, August 27th, 2024

I don’t review that many straight up comedies, but sometimes it works out in these summer retrospectives, since there’s usually something to be said about them as time capsules and how their themes compare or contrast to other films of the season. After all, this series started with SERIAL MOM, and that’s one of the best movies of the summer. PCU wasn’t good, but it had some interesting things to analyze. Sometimes it’s worth my while.

But here we are in August, with its reputation as a dumping ground for shitty movies, and the ones I’ve been watching haven’t dispelled that notion. None of these felt like enough to write about on their own, but hopefully in the aggregate they might be worth reading about? I don’t know. I trust you to make your own decisions on that.

I am not up on the works of Paulie Shore, but I went into IN THE ARMY NOW (released August 12th) with an open mind. It starts with the sound of Bones (Shore) saying something about “pilgrim” in a John Wayne voice (always, always, always funny, I’m sure we all agree) and then bickering with his buddy Jack (Andy Dick, DOUBLE DRAGON) as they play a video game about tank warfare. It turns out they’re doing this while working their shifts at an electronics store called Crazy Boys in Glendale. Bones is about to get fired, then briefly averts it when his girlfriend (Fabiana Udenio, BRIDE OF RE-ANIMATOR) pretends to be a customer buying an expensive TV from him, but the boss finds out the scam because he tries to have sex with her in the back and Jack uses one of the video cameras to broadcast it on the wall of TVs. (read the rest of this shit…)

Toy Soldiers (1991)

Thursday, December 8th, 2016

TOY SOLDIERS is a kid’s movie clashing with an action movie. It’s rated-R and surprisingly legit, opening with chaos in Colombia, where Luis Cali (Andrew Divoff, WISHMASTER), the son of a captured narco-terrorist, has a court room held hostage. Within the first four minutes of the movie they throw a woman out of a high window and a judge out of a helicopter (an impressive skydiving stunt). Later they will take over a boarding school full of the children of American politicians and super-riches, and being that Columbine has not happened they will have no compunction about shooting the place up.

But when we meet our young protagonists jogging into The Regis School and spray painting it to say “The Rejects School”, Robert Folk (POLICE ACADEMY)’s score goes from sounding like a Chuck Norris movie to an episode of Amazing Stories or The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles. Oh, youth. They have self-owned themselves as rejects because they’re supposed to be the fuckup rich kids who got kicked out of every other prep school. Now they will endure the gauntlet of action-movie-scenario to prove their true worth. (read the rest of this shit…)