It always seems to surprise people when I admit stuff like this, but until now I had never seen WYATT EARP. And when I was getting ready to watch it and do this review I worried I was gonna get myself into trouble because it came out six months after TOMBSTONE, and lived and died in its comparisons to TOMBSTONE, so I know everyone in the comments is gonna want to talk about that. And the thing is I still haven’t seen TOMBSTONE either. Yeah, I know. I’ll get around to it.
Initially I thought I should do that first, but then I realized it was a unique opportunity to be the one guy watching WYATT EARP on its 30th anniversary with zero instinct to compare and contrast to TOMBSTONE. I have been preparing three decades to be this specific guy. (read the rest of this shit…)
You remember Rambo, John J. Vietnam vet, Green Beret, POW camp survivor, Congressional Medal of Honor recipient. In ’81, as a homeless drifter, he waged a one-man guerrilla war against the police department of Hope, Washington, wounding several officers, killing police dogs, blowing up buildings and causing one officer to die from falling out of a helicopter. But they let him out of prison for a secret POW rescue mission. Though he earned a presidential pardon, he decided to live in Thailand, living off odd jobs such as stickfighter, temple-builder, snake-catcher or river guide, with occasional missions to help the Mujahideen in Afghanistan or rescue missionaries in Myanmar. But eventually he came home to his dad’s place in Arizona.
It doesn’t seem like it, but that movie was 11 years ago. Rambo has short hair now, wears cowboy hats and runs his (now deceased) dad’s horse ranch. He lives with a woman named Maria (Adriana Barraza, AMORES PERROS, DRAG ME TO HELL), who I guess the photos on the wall indicate was his parents’ maid, and her granddaughter Gabrielle (Yvette Monreal from the El Rey show Matador), who calls him Uncle John and who he says he thinks of as his daughter. (read the rest of this shit…)
Right now, in 2019, people sure do love a good TV series. Some claim that the premium cable and streaming shows are actually better than movies. As TV shows become more cinematic and cinema becomes more serialized, the two mediums seem to be growing into each other like a very respectable rat king. Big name real deal movie stars can star in TV shows or limited series and collect acclaim and awards instead of scorn for slumming it.
At the same time the industry is obsessed with “intellectual property” and franchises, so naturally we’re getting TV shows that prequelize or sequelize a popular movie/movie series. In recent years they’ve done Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Tremors, Taken, Transporter: The Series, Training Day, Limitless, Ash vs. Evil Dead, Cobra Kai, Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp and Wolf Creek, and soon we’ll be getting new Star Wars and Marvel tie-ins and maybe Undisputed and all kinds of shit.
From the dawn of 1986 they came…moving stylishly down through the decades. Movies, TV shows, cartoons, struggling to reach the time of the reviewing, when Vern will write about the franchise
That wasn’t how it worked in the early ’90s, though. There had been a few genre shows connected to movies: Planet of the Apes (1974) (and the animated Return to the Planet of the Apes [1975]), Beyond Westworld (1980), Blue Thunder (1984), Starman (1986-1987) and Alien Nation (1989-1990). None of these ran for very long, few are well remembered. TV was lesser than movies, you could never carry over the cast or the production value, and extending a movie series onto the small screen was not really a good bet.
But shit, HIGHLANDER II: THE QUICKENING wasn’t a good bet either. And producers Davis and Panzer, stinging from that loss, weren’t ready to leave the blackjack table. Maybe a TV-sized saga of the Immortals could be more than the Starman of the ’90s. Maybe it could be the M.A.S.H. of the ’90s! (read the rest of this shit…)
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
CJ Holden on The Ugly Stepsister: “It’s interesting that the DTV sequels of the animated Disney CINDERELLA also paint one of her stepsisters as more sympathetic.…” Jun 18, 22:32
VERN on Cop Out: “It’s always funny when these old reviews are preoccupied with some entertainment news/online drama I have almost no memory of…” Jun 18, 14:45
burningambulance on The Last Showgirl: “>> here’s this lady we remember being a punchline and a tabloid target, the swimsuit lady from Baywatch in her…” Jun 18, 13:01
Jerome on Cop Out: “This is one of your best Vern. A real all-timer. Great comments too (and not just coz it’s the only…” Jun 18, 11:50
VERN on Hatchet II: “Good point Jerome, I guess my above comment “I hope eventually a situation comes up where a movie more people…” Jun 18, 08:43
JesseSP on Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning: “I think my issue with the movie is best summed up in that flat moment leading to the opening credits.…” Jun 18, 05:26
Toxic on Ballerina (2025): “Not sure about the rest, but my best guess is that the Cult member who goes after Eve is a…” Jun 18, 02:58
jim on Howl’s Moving Castle: “Spot on across the board. You were absolutely right then and now. Great review, Vern.” Jun 17, 23:35
Jerome on Hatchet II: “Adam Green’s gotta be, like, ‘Fuck Art the Clown’, tho, right? And I saw Hatchet II in the theater too.…” Jun 17, 22:09
Stu on Ballerina (2025): “I loved it too, and was relieved it was good after the rumoured revisions. Favourite gags were the bit with…” Jun 17, 16:20
Toxic on Vern Throws A Kick At JCVD!!: “Not sure it’s available anywhere but in France, but KUNG FU ZOHRA by JCVD’s director Mabrouk El Mechri is… interesting.…” Jun 17, 14:47
CJ Holden on The Last Showgirl: “I mean, it is a high profile gig and appers to be of higher quality than a SCARY MOVIE sequel,…” Jun 17, 11:49
Toxic on The Last Showgirl: “@CJ, from the trailer, that NAKED GUN movie does seem surprisingly promising (I mean, if you are into THE NAKED…” Jun 17, 10:56
Charles on The Last Showgirl: “I liked this one as well. There is some shared DNA with BOOGIE NIGHTS. In terms of the ending and…” Jun 17, 09:24
CJ Holden on The Last Showgirl: “It’s interesting that Bautista, the wrestler who took acting lessons to prepare for his Marvel role, because he really wanted…” Jun 17, 07:49