"CATCH YOU FUCKERS AT A BAD TIME?"

Posts Tagged ‘Noah Harpster’

Maleficent: Mistress of Evil

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2025

I don’t want to fairy-tale-reimagining-sequel you guys out, but the truth is right after I watched THE HUNTSMAN: WINTER’S WAR I decided it was a good time to knock out MALEFICENT: MISTRESS OF EVIL too. I almost didn’t want to post about it, because there is no dignity in being a “not all Disney live action remakes are bad” person, but the truth is I remembered liking the first MALEFICENT when it came out in 2014, so I always meant to see the sequel.

I suppose there’s a distinction that it wasn’t a straight remake of SLEEPING BEAUTY, but a WICKED-inspired revisionist spin-off where it turns out those jerks got the iconic villainess all wrong, she’s another woman who got screwed over and demonized and she’s actually pretty cool if you get to know her. As crazy as it may sound I remember it being structured like a rape-revenge movie, with Maleficent’s prince cutting off her wings as the violation to be avenged. (Yes, in live action she has wings. Also horns. I always thought that was just a weird hat.)

Well, now Maleficent has her origin, the king is dead, the beauty is awake, and I’m kind of surprised how much mileage they get out of “what’s next?” After the not-your-mother’s-Snow-White of THE HUNTSMAN it’s nice to see some yes-this-is-like-the-old-Disney-movies enthusiasm for bright colors, fanciful creatures and shit. There’s more of that in the opening ten minutes of MISTRESS OF EVIL than in all of THE HUNTSMAN. After a prologue about people in the woods at night trying to capture a toadstool-headed fairy (Fantasyland truffle hunters), we’re reintroduced to Aurora (Elle Fanning, SOMEWHERE), now “Queen of the Moors,” convening a meeting of all the magical pixies, talking animals and walking trees of the forest.

(read the rest of this shit…)

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Reviews, Fantasy/Swords | 2 Comments »

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Monday, December 9th, 2019

A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD has been promoted as a Fred Rogers biopic, and it it is true that Tom Hanks (THE LADYKILLERS) tackles the challenge of portraying the famously gentle Neighborhood of Make-Believe resident. But it’s not his life story, or even the smarter kind of biopic that focuses on one period as a microcosm of his life. Instead it makes him a supporting character in the story of a journalist coming to terms with his estranged father while working on a magazine profile of Rogers. I guess it’s kind of like SAVING MR. BANKS, where Hanks played Walt Disney as co-lead with a highly fictionalized P.L. Travers, but it’s probly more comparable to if MILES AHEAD was mostly about Ewan McGregor’s character dealing with family issues and Miles Davis occasionally gives him good advice that he rejects until the end of the movie.

So it doesn’t matter much that this is coming on the heels of a popular documentary (WON’T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR?) that it could never equal – it’s not the same thing at all. They do manage to work in a few re-enactments of famous moments (a couple seconds of his congressional testimony) and remixes of scenes from the documentary (a crowded cafe – and therefore the theater you’re sitting in – goes silent when he asks our protagonist to stop and think about “the people who loved you into being”). But if I remember right the documentary had a part where writer Tom Junod said that writing a profile on Rogers for Esquire changed his attitude toward life, and this is mostly extrapolated from that idea, with Rogers as guest star guru to writer Lloyd Vogel (Matthew Rhys, TITUS). (read the rest of this shit…)

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Drama, Reviews | 21 Comments »

  • Hey bud, thanks for reading.

    Don't feel obligated, but here are some

  • WAYS YOU CAN SUPPORT THE SHIT OUT OF VERN & OUTLAWVERN.COM

    if that's your thing:

  • 1. Patreon

    Toss me a couple bucks a month, support the good shit, also get access to a bunch of exclusive writing. This is my primary source of writing money that has allowed me to cut down to part time at the day job. Thank you!

  • 2. Buy my books from your local bookseller or somebody

    click here for my Amazon author page

    (NOTE: My ten year contract has passed on the Titan books, so I don't get residuals on them like I do WORM ON A HOOK and NIKETOWN, but I would love for you to read them because I'm proud of them)

    EXTRA CREDIT: Review them on Amazon! That would really help me out. Unless you didn't like them, in which case forget I said anything.

  • 3. If you ever buy from Amazon, go through my links or search engines



    (you pay the same amount you were gonna pay anyway they cut me a little slice)

  • I also have an Amazon UK one:

    (I can't get the search box widget to work anymore, so click on MOONWALKER and then search for what you want.)

  • 4. My exciting line of fashion and leisure products

    (I get a couple bucks per item, you get a cool t-shirt, mug or lifestyle item)

  • 5. Spread the word

    Tell your friends about my reviews and my books and everything. Only cool people though please, we don't need a bunch of suckers and/or chumps around here.

    THANKS EVERYBODY. YOUR FRIEND, VERN

    * * * *

  • Recent commentary and jibber-jabber

    • pegsman on The Thing (1982): “Nice input on one of my favorite films, Miguel. A masterpiece indeed. And perhaps the best remake ever. As a…” Oct 30, 23:40
    • Curt on Night of the Reaper/Random Acts of Violence/Jack-O: “Zack Carlson, co-author of Destroy All Movies: The Complete Guide to Punks on Film (which y’all may remember Vern reviewing…” Oct 30, 16:29
    • Kit on One Battle After Another: “I really didn’t need to see the christmas society rich dude going assassin and becoming a villain Smith and Throckmorton…” Oct 30, 12:51
    • Dreadguacamole on Night of the Reaper/Random Acts of Violence/Jack-O: “The only one of these I’ve watched is NIGHT OF THE REAPER, which… was ok. I agree it’s well-made and…” Oct 30, 12:26
    • Miguel Hombre on The Thing (1982): “Just got around to watching this for the first time in 5 or so years. A few thoughts – I…” Oct 30, 12:03
    • Daniel Strange on Black Phone 2: “I liked this too. I wasn’t planning to see it (I didn’t see the first one), but a friend invited…” Oct 30, 11:02
    • Daniel Strange on It Chapter Two: “Exactly. I couldn’t understand the raves the first movie got, because it threw away anything interesting from the book and…” Oct 30, 10:46
    • Bill Reed on Buck and the Preacher: “Finally got the chance to watch this, and really dug it. Thanks for the rec, Vern. I like– and am…” Oct 30, 05:33
    • Franchise Fred on Night of the Reaper/Random Acts of Violence/Jack-O: “I always confuse Jack-O with the killer snowman Jack Frost (not the heartwarming Michael Keaton snowman dad). But I’ve never…” Oct 29, 22:44
    • Skani on Night of the Reaper/Random Acts of Violence/Jack-O: “I did like the lead in THE JESTER, who had an Elisabeth Shue thing going on, and I thought the…” Oct 29, 19:42
    • Mr. Majestyk on Night of the Reaper/Random Acts of Violence/Jack-O: “I have actually seen all three of these. A Slasher Sweep! I liked NIGHT OF THE REAPER, but I thought…” Oct 29, 18:25
    • Skani on Night of the Reaper/Random Acts of Violence/Jack-O: “I did catch NIGHT OF THE REAPER and found it to be a snooze. I can’t speak for the others.…” Oct 29, 16:39
    • Jules on Wyatt Earp: “I rewatched much of TOMBSTONE the other night for the first time in a few years. Man I love Kurt…” Oct 29, 14:05
    • Steven E on It Chapter Two: “Distinct memory of coming out the cinema completely raging. Loved the first – haven’t revisited it since this released as…” Oct 29, 07:33
    • CJ Holden on Army of Darkness: “For years I was complaining that we don’t get these theatrical showings of classics and cult classics here in Germany,…” Oct 29, 04:17

  • Recent Commented on Posts

  • Most Comments