"I got news for 'em. There's gonna be hell to pay. 'Cause I ain't daddy's little boy no more."

Archive for the ‘News’ Category


Wednesday, July 8th, 2015

tn_absolutiona.k.a. Mercenary: Absolution

ABSOLUTION is the latest from Steven Seagal, and his first to go straight to VOD before going to video this week. I guess it also played a couple theaters, although I have not heard any reports of anyone seeing it in one. I think this is more a sign of changing markets than of this particular movie’s quality. It’s not markedly different or better than his other recent works.

In ABSOLUTION Seagal faces a villain known only as “The Boss,” but I don’t think it’s supposed to be Bruce Springsteen. Either that, or there’s alot I didn’t know about Bruce Springsteen. Vinnie Jones (SUBMERGED, GUTSHOT STRAIGHT) draws upon his experience in BRADLEY COOPER’S MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN to play this tweed-wearing kingpin who works out of a professorial type office with globes and bookshelves and stuff, but his hobby is video taping himself in a fetish mask torturing and murdering prostitutes in a kitchen in the back of his 24-hour dance spot Club One.

Two things happen here. First, John (Seagal) and his life-debt partner of three years Chi (Byron Mann, BELLY OF THE BEAST, A DANGEROUS MAN, True Justice) have done a murder-for-hire on a  whore-loving, coke-snorting gangster called “The Afghani,” (a very good douchebag performance by Sergiu Costache, who’s actually Romanian) and are killing time before extraction by having some Johnnie Walker at the Danube Blues Club. Second, one of The Boss’s victims (Nadia, played by Adina Stetcu) escapes him, runs through the Club One dance floor, onto the streets, into the Danube, and literally into John’s lap, begging for help as The Boss’s underlings try to drag her away. (read the rest of this shit…)

Stallone has confirmed Van Damme and Norris for EXPENDABLES 2

Tuesday, September 13th, 2011

tn_breakingnewsThank you for tuning in to outlawvern.com, your headquarters for the very latest in linking to other websights that have the very latest on EXPENDABLES 2: TRY TO BE OPEN-MINDED, GUYS. A new article at Entertainment Weekly dot communications has confirmed some of the rumors and might start a couple new ones too. The short of it is that Stallone is going to pretend to go toe-to-toe with Van Damme in a fight. But it gets better. More summarizing and paraphrasing after the clicking thing. (read the rest of this shit…)

DIE HARD 5 to be directed by guy who did MAX PAYNE

Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011

tn_diehardBruceOkay, that’s not official, but I’m going by the time honored rule that if the insider Hollywood people report a “short list” of possible directors it will go to one of the worst or least interesting on the list. For example this happened with THE WOLFMAN (Joe Johnston over John Landis, Frank Darabont, Bill Condon). In this case Deadline is reporting three directors people around here like and John Moore. (read the rest of this shit…)

Guess who’s in comics books? (answer: em) (hold up to mirror for answer)

Tuesday, November 9th, 2010

tn_verncolumnThe internet belongs to the nerds. Or to the geeks, I forget which one. I always get alot of grief for getting the lingo wrong, I mix up “nerd” with “geek” and I say “comic strips” instead of “illustrated graphic novels for grown adults” and I say “Ziggy” instead of “Tom Wilson’s Ziggy.” I’m either confused or sometimes just jokin around but I mean no harm and people still get upset. Especially if I do it on The Ain’t It Cool News everybody acts like I yelled out the n-word or something. I would write several paragraphs of detailed and thoughtful analysis laying out a series of arguments and backing them up with examples but if I chose “comic strip” instead of “comic book” to describe a stapled together pamphlet of non-comical drawings then that would be all they would respond to and declare my input invalid.

And I used to try to be polite and apologize to these people but no more, because now I AM IN A FUCKING COMIC STRIP. Or at least between some of them. My cool British publisher Titan is publishing a comics magazine called “CLiNT,” and I have a column in it starting with issue #3. So if you want to read “Nemesis Chapter 2” and “Mahatma Gandhi presents Space Oddities” you will have no choice but to flip past the words that I wrote. WHO’S LAUGHING NOW, MOTHERFUCKERS? (read the rest of this shit…)

RZA to direct Academy Award winner Russell Crowe in kung fu movie

Tuesday, September 14th, 2010
The RZA (right, with colleague)
The RZA (right, with colleague)

My buddy Telf tipped me off to this one. E! Online is reporting that Wu-Tang Clan abbot/GHOST DOG scorer the RZA is claiming that Russell Crowe is in his long-in-development kung fu movie THE MAN WITH THE IRON FIST. I don’t know what the fuck is going on, man, but we live in a world where Steven Seagal co-stars with Robert DeNiro and Jessica Alba, where Dolph Lundgren fights Jet Li on the big screen, and where the guy from THE INSIDER and GLADIATOR is hanging out with Bobby Digital. These are some pretty good times, in my opinion. (read the rest of this shit…)

a little clarification about UNIVERSAL SOLDIER “4”

Friday, May 14th, 2010

tn_usregeneration(an outlawvern.com fucking exclusive)

The other day the internet was set on fire and punched in the face with reports from Cannes that John Hyams (UNIVERSAL SOLDIER: REGENERATION) would probly be returning with Van Damme and Lundgren for another UNISOL picture, and in 3-D. This is of course great news for people like us who have seen REGENERATION (currently my pick for best DTV movie ever made) and are anxious to see Hyams direct something else, anything else. And of course we’re happy to see more of Van Damme and Lundgren, especially if they can be as great as they were in that movie.

But 3-D? Does that mean they expect to release it theatrically? Couldn’t Variety have explained this more? I’m not trying to be a journalist but since I’m more interested in this than the journalists and I happened to have contact info for John Hyams I decided I had to ask him about it. (read the rest of this shit…)

The State of Affairs in Badass Cinema, first week of April 2010

Saturday, April 3rd, 2010

explosionsThere seems to be alot of trailers and announcements and shit related to the sorts of pictures we’re interested in around here, so I figured I’d round them up so we can discuss them. Also, it is always exciting to have a picture of a bunch of cars exploding.

Diesel-related Developments

According to a Collider interview with producer Neal H. Moritz about the upcoming fifth FAST AND FURIOUS movie (once again teaming Vin Diesel, Paul Walker and director Justin Lin) “the goal is to bring touchstone characters from each of the movies back.” I suspect this means I’ll get my wish of Lucas Black from TOKYO DRIFT at least making a cameo. After all, Han is dead, and Sonny Chiba doesn’t drive. And hell, I hope they throw in a Tyrese from 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS. Why not? (read the rest of this shit…)

Justice prevails: BLACK DYNAMITE’s foot expands to new asses

Thursday, November 12th, 2009

tn_blackdynamiteI just received word that midnight screenings of outlawvern.com favorite BLACK DYNAMITE have been scheduled in some new spots on the map including Columbus, Boston, Minneapolis, Houston, Denver, Fort Collins, even Spokane, WA where a couple of you helped approve R-71. I think a midnight screening is the best way to see it, this is a movie that’s even better with a big audience. And by the way they expanded the best picture Oscar to ten nominees this year, so, you know, keep that in mind when you’re watching it.

Anyway, that’s not all of the cities so check out the full list and details here. Because orphans don’t have parents.

Looks like it’s official

Wednesday, August 5th, 2009

seagal-trejoA column in Variety off-handedly mentions Seagal being in MACHETE:

“It began production this week on `Machete,’ the film that Robert Rodriguez is co-directing with protege Ethan Maniquis. Danny Trejo is playing the title character and Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Seagal, Lindsay Lohan, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson and Jeff Fahey play supporting roles.”

I don’t think this needs an all-star cast, and I think Jessica Alba should have to get a real job by now, but this should be a crazy combination of people. See, Jeff Fahey’s on the list everybody, let’s stay calm. This is the first time I’ve seen Don Johnson mentioned too, that’s a good one.

I’m sure they rewrote the script since the draft I read, but I seriously have no idea who half of these people could be playing, especially Seagal.

Attention comic conners

Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009

tn_blackdynamiteRemember that movie BLACK DYNAMITE that I liked so much? Writer/director Scott Sanders dropped a line to let us know that he and Mr. UNDISPUTED II: LAST MAN STANDING himself Michael Jai White will be over there at the comic strip festival in San Diego playing “a new never-before-seen clip” at some of the panels:

The Black Panel
Saturday, July 25, 10:00 AM /  5AB
Featuring Ludacris, Kel Mitchell, Prodigal Sunn, Reggie Hudlin, Denys Cowan and Michael Jai White

The Black DYNAMITE Panel
Saturday, July 25, 6:30 PM
Hosted by Elvis Mitchell
Featuring Scott Sanders, Michael Jai White, Salli Richardson-Whitfield, Byron Minns, and Cedric Yarbrough
Sorry, no SPAWN 12th anniversary retrospective I guess.
BLACK DYNAMITE comes out October 16th of this year.