I'm not trying to be a hero! I'M FIGHTING THE DRAGON!!

Vern howls at GINGER SNAPS: THE BEGINNING like a horny, rabid dog!!!

SPOILER ALERT !!

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with one of the most entertaining reviews you’ve likely read in the last few weeks. Vern-o is one of a kind… God’s own prototype. Anyway, he gives a good look at what to expect from the Third and last (maybe?) GINGER SNAPS flick… I personally didn’t care too much for GINGER SNAPS BACK, but I love the first film. I like what I’ve seen of THE BEGINNING, so I’m very optimistic… but you don’t care what I have to say! This is Vern’s show and if I don’t hand over the floor I’m likely to wake up with a strangled ant-eater in my bed. You don’t want to get on Vern’s bad side… I learned that years ago… So, here he is!

Boys –

How’s it goin. Hope those of you who went had fun at your comic book convention. Who did the delegates end up nominating anyway? Was it batman? I tell you with these volatile times, I thought it was gonna be the ’68 Comic Con all over again, guys dressed up as stormtroopers running through the streets beating up Xena and Catwoman with plastic swords, rolling robots, setting dragons on fire. But it sounds like it was peaceful. I didn’t read any of that crap you guys wrote about it but I bet it was good.

Ginger Snaps Back: The BeginningAnyway what I’m here for is GINGER SNAPS BACK. You guys probaly remember (how the fuck could you forget?) that I reviewed the first one, GINGER SNAPS (WHICH CAN BE READ HERE, YOU MAGGOT-RIDDEN PUSSBAGS) for you a couple years back, and then followed up with GINGER SNAPS 2: UNLEASHED (THAT’S RIGHT. MORE VERN TO INJEST…) not too long ago. Well now they’re already topping it off with GINGER SNAPS BACK: THE BEGINNING which transports everybody’s favorite brooding misfit death obsessed teenage Canadian soon-to-be-werewolf sisters into the Canadian frontier during the famous historical year of 1815. This is the story of how the magic of sisterhood overpowered destiny, prophecy and ancient Native American legend and stuck Brigitte, Ginger and the rest of Canada with a fucked up werewolf curse.

So it’s a prequel, but at first you can’t really tell for sure what the deal is. Because why the fuck are Brigitte and Ginger (still with those names) suddenly alive in the 19th century, wandering in the woods, saying their parents drowned and taking shelter in a fort with a bunch of musket-loving pelt traders? They mostly act century-appropriate but every once in a while they pull some modern teenage shit like saying “These people are fucked!” So if you watch it you’ll probaly be thinking “I never saw part 2, did they end with some weird EVIL DEAD 2 type time portal?” No, they didn’t, so it almost seems like it’s not so much a prequel as, like, a side-qual or something. One that isn’t exactly related because it takes place in a different plane of reality, just like WES CRAVEN’S NEW NIGHTMARE, where it’s a sequel to the Freddies but it acknowledges that those movies are only movies. And that the sequels suck. I don’t know what the word for it is, I think maybe it’s an alternal dimensional or something. Or like those comic books they have – don’t they have comics where it’s like “what if this happened?” What if instead of Bruce Wayne, it was Archie, and Jughead killed his parents. So Archie dressed up like a bat and him and Snoopy had to figure out who Jack the Ripper was. Or whatever.

Well this is like that only this time it’s what if Ginger and Brigitte were staying in a fort and the fucking men are always looking at them suspicious because they’re women and also because a bunch of werewolves keep attacking the joint, so who knows. Their suspicious turn out to be pretty justified though because before you know it some wolf-boy (he looks like the kid from MASK mated with a dog) bites Ginger and she starts slowly turning, just like in the first one, only earlier.

There is some business about a Native American hunter destined to protect them, and the father of the wolf-boy who doesn’t want to kill them, and the one way to stop the curse. And there’s a real good scene where the sisters decide to leave the place, but after they unbar the gate some asshole starts pointing his musket at them and they get in a big argument. Not realizing that the werewolves are gathering outside.

Just like in the first two there is not a whole lot of graphic werewolf running around shots. But there are alot more wolves, including dead ones that they pile up after the battle.

I think moving this story to the frontier has some big time disadvantages. What I really like about the other two is that they are smart teen horror movies. The stories are aimed at teenage girls who feel like outsiders – they treat their problems seriously and use horror scenarios as metaphors for the types of emotional troubles facing people at that age. In the move to the 19th century they lost most of that relatability. Now they’re just some gals fighting wolves. Not a whole lot of themes and metaphors involved. It’s also not as funny as the other two. Those were movies with straight faces, without any cute references or one-liners, but they still had a dark sense of humor about them. Not much of that here.

It’s another new director, this time the second unit director of part 1. He does a good job making it look nice. And the makeup is real good. Both the girls look spooky as hell, the wolf boy is great and the werewolves look pretty vicious. Best of all, Ginger and Brigitte give two more solid performances. Ginger is back in the spotlight for those who missed her in part 2, but I still think Brigitte is the most interesting. I’m surprised these movies haven’t gotten her a whole lot of other jobs. On the other hand it’s hard to imagine her in a role where she had to be happy and not pout.

Overall this is the weakest of the three. It’s definitely not bad, but it’s not all that memorable. Still, I hope they do another one, this time with the two girls getting bit by a mutant werewolf in post-apocalyptic Canada. Or a Blade Runner type megalopolis. Or in space! Part 4’s often take place
in space.

Anyway thanks fellas,

Vern

p.s. there could be a robot werewolf in space, who knows what could happen. or martian werewolves on the moon. Anything.

Originally posted at Ain’t-It-Cool-News: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/18092

View the archived Ain’t-It-Cool-News Talkback

  • Aug. 3, 2004, 7:06 a.m. CST

    love the other two

    by Bogwam

    Hope this one works.

  • Aug. 3, 2004, 7:49 a.m. CST

    Vern-O Should Direct Superman

    by MrInsidious

    Just think of it. Sam Jackson as Lex Luthor cursing out Superman in his tights. As far as I’m concerned, that could constitute 90% of the movie and still be cool.

  • Aug. 3, 2004, 7:49 a.m. CST

    Vern-O Should Direct Superman

    by MrInsidious

    Just think of it. Sam Jackson as Lex Luthor cursing out Superman in his tights. As far as I’m concerned, that could constitute 90% of the movie and still be cool.

  • Aug. 3, 2004, 8:59 a.m. CST

    “speculative fiction”

    by Another Faith

    That’s the term you’re looking for, Vern — for “what if THIS happened instead” stories. And thanks for the links to the first two reviews. “I swear by the holy balls of Jesus” is a phrase my life would have been poorer for having missed. How I’ll work it in remains a challenge, but I’m pleased to have it in my conversational arsenal.

  • Aug. 3, 2004, 9:21 a.m. CST

    “PERSONALLY I DID NOT BOTHER TO KNOW THE TITLE OF THE FILMS I AM

    by kiddae

    Even though it is right there in the article I am posting.” I fucking hate this site.

  • Aug. 3, 2004, 10:30 a.m. CST

    Great trailer, thats about it.

    by harosa

    I hated the second film but was impressed enough with the trailer to see this but it was generally a letdown in all ways. From the truly bad overacting by everyone but the girls (the native indians speak so clearly and succinctly I was distracted, would it have hurt to lighten up on the proper english for authenticity’s sake?) to some really stupid character choices and leaps in logic. From Vern’s review he mentions the scene with the girls wanting to leave the fort and the beef they get into with some soldier -who seems to hate them for the obvious reasons in every movie that someone who goes into a fort or town under siege gets hated on for- but then after the siege the soldier seems to forget the girls looked like they might’ve been helping the wolves ( iknow they werent). This movie only seems to tie into the first movie with the last scene in a roundabout way and it does have some interesting touches , the sets and scenery are awesome but I say just stick with the first one. You want to see someone chasing someone for food and set somewhat in the same time period and in the same settings see Ravenous.

  • Aug. 3, 2004, 12:56 p.m. CST

    Was there another installment I don’t know about?

    by ron2112

    …because I loved Ginger Snaps, and I loved Ginger Snaps 2; Unleashed, but gosh amighty I don’t remember seeing anything about Ginger Snaps Back. I wonder why that is? Oh maybe it’s because there’s NO SUCH FUCKING MOVIE. Yeah, that must be it. And for the record, the second was at least as good as the first, maybe a bit better.

  • Aug. 3, 2004, 2:26 p.m. CST

    Part 4’s often take place in space

    by phanboi

    Huzzzzah. That’d be da shizznizzle Vern-O yo man. Bring dat shit on. And thus … my ebonic skillz pwns ya all. Fo’ sho!

  • Aug. 3, 2004, 4:14 p.m. CST

    What is this guy rambling about?

    by johnhawks

    Comic Con ’68?? Even if there was such a thing, Stormtroopers wern’t invented until ’77. Oh, and this review isn’t intresting or funny.

  • Aug. 3, 2004, 5:32 p.m. CST

    To Ron #2112

    by Vern

    Actually, you might be wrong there. Wait, actually, YOU ARE DEFINITELY FUCKING WRONG. There is such a movie as GINGER SNAPS BACK: THE BEGINNING and in fact, it’s the VERY MOVIE that you are responding to a talkback to. Are you insane? Or did you fall into one of those parallel dimensions I was talking about with Freddy and Snoopy? Yer confusing me there bud. Anyway thanks everybody, looks like I may be getting my game back judging from everybody wanting to kill me, etc. thanks

  • Aug. 3, 2004, 6:23 p.m. CST

    Not as good as the first two…

    by Gluecifer

    but still pretty good (really one of the best horror franchises ever!!!!). The ending rules (again), the casting is great, nice photography,…

    Pretty good movie, but I prefered the great Ravenous (without werewolves but with cannibalism instead).

  • Aug. 3, 2004, 7:15 p.m. CST

    Vern…

    by TheDarkShape

    He was referring to the fact that Quint was calling Ginger Snaps Back and The Beginning two different movies.

  • Aug. 3, 2004, 7:30 p.m. CST

    Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning

    by ide_cyan

    I saw the third Ginger Snaps movie at Fant-Asia on July 10, and when the opening credits came on, the title that was shown was _Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning_.

  • Aug. 3, 2004, 9:07 p.m. CST

    There’s the DC Comics term “Elseworlds” or the Star Trek term “M

    by FrankDrebin

    And I think the reference to the ’68 comics convention was meant as a joke about the ’68 Democratic National Convention in Chicago that erupted into demonstrations and chaos…and head-cracking, once the notoriously corrupt Mayor Daly unleashed his notoriously violent cops. (Maybe you’ve heard of Abbie Hoffman and the “Chicago 8”.) Only dinosaurs like me remember it. As Professor Frink said, it’s the “Dennis Miller ratio”.

  • Aug. 3, 2004, 10:02 p.m. CST

    I don’t know man

    by Vern

    It still looks to me like he’s saying there’s only two Ginger Snaps movies. But there’s not man, as you would know if you EVEN VAGUELY SKIMMED ONE OR TWO SENTENCES OF THE REVIEW YOU WERE RESPONDING TO. But that’s okay, that’s enough capital letters for today. Anyway thanks again everybody, especially Retrostyle for explaining my basic historical reference. Way to go American public education!

  • Aug. 4, 2004, 4:23 a.m. CST

    Side-Qual

    by Lion Fire

    If the Bitches would get butt naked and start licking each other these movies would rock!

  • Aug. 4, 2004, 1:32 p.m. CST

    To ron 2112

    by rollerballs

    For what it’s worth, there IS a third installment, the trailer for which was posted on this site months ago. Just wanted to help.

  • Aug. 4, 2004, 3:40 p.m. CST

    does she show ’em?

    by TV CASUALTY

    Oh, sure. I’m the asshole. I’m the pervert. Like the rest of you weren’t thinking it.

  • Aug. 4, 2004, 7:18 p.m. CST

    I don’t get why so many who loved the first, hated the second…

    by sTalking_Goat

    I thought the second was pretty consistent. I won’t say it was better but its not like Highlander and Highlander 2. Or the second Blair Witch (ok bad reference…). The only real downer of the second was the stupid ending, and not enough Ginger. I like Bridgette though, I guess I have a thing for fucked up chicks.

  • Aug. 5, 2004, 12:22 a.m. CST

    You know, there are not that many GOOD werewolf flicks out there

    by Neosamurai85

    I actually liked the first Ginger Snaps. It felt like someone behind The Adventures of Pete and Pete was reading some Ghost World comics one day, and thought, THIS NEEDS WEREWOLVES! I was waiting for a Stephin Merritt tune to pop out at any moment! Seriously though, to me one of the crucial elements of a good horror film is its exploration of things we have deep insecurities, primal fears

  • Aug. 5, 2004, 5:09 a.m. CST

    archie is all about pussy

    by satansteve

    true dat

  • Aug. 7, 2004, 4:57 a.m. CST

    never trust a sequel when it has THE BEGINNING attached to it.

    by Sepulchrave

    Prequels are WRONG, just WRONG, like driving backwards down the freeway. The Godfather 2, that’s it. all the rest are vrud. this was a nice clever little monster flick about going on the rag and getting laid. It’s over. The conceit has been explored and there no more water in the well. This will be pointless suck.

VERN has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the books SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL, YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER!: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS and NIKETOWN: A NOVEL. His horror-action novel WORM ON A HOOK will arrive later this year.
This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 3rd, 2004 at 6:56 am and is filed under AICN, Fantasy/Swords, Horror, Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

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