I remember the first time I saw RESERVOIR DOGS it was with a bunch of dudes that had seen it a bunch of times and knew all the dialogue and shit. I thought it was great but I didn’t really get those guys, I didn’t think I would end up watching it over and over again.
Since then we’ve seen Quentin Tarantino go through the hip hop arc of exciting new thing, “it’s only a fad,” a decade later it’s obviously here to stay and still growing so quit your grumblin ya old grouch. In fact I did the math wrong when I was watching this, I was thinking it was turning 18 this year, it would be old enough to vote. And let’s be honest, it’s not voting for Obama, ’cause it’s kinda racist and also it probly thinks any Democrat wants to take its guns away. (read the rest of this shit…)
Let me tell you man, I’m not trying to commemorate the tenth anniversary of this movie. There’s no celebration here at all. It’s just analysis, I swear.
I saw FINAL FANTASY in the theater when it came out, found it incredibly boring, and really didn’t want to ever watch it again. Here is my review from back then. But I thought it was important to revisit for this study because, despite being a huge financial and artistic failure this movie did break alot of new ground that has turned out to be relevant to the movies of the decade since.
I meant to do this back when I reviewed POINT BLANK (Mickey Rourke vs. mall terrorists version), but I forgot, so here’s another Mickey Rourke picture to kick things off on a new thing I’ll try called COUNTDOWN TO THE EXPENDABLES. Not sure if I got enough time before the movie comes out next month, but I’m gonna try to go down the list of all the main EXPENDABLES cast members and review one of their movies that I haven’t seen before. (See, it’s a good thing Seagal turned the movie down, because there’s not anything by him that I haven’t seen. Maybe I’d have to review the cameo on the episode of Roseanne that I didn’t find out about until after Seagalogy went to print.)
Whether or not Stallone’s movie ends up being any good I think we can all agree that he did a good job of casting a wide range of tough guys from different movements, generations and disciplines. So through this journey I think we will all learn a few things and expand our knowledge of the Badass Arts in its many forms. I know I’ve already seen one unexpected gem in preparation for this series, so this could be a great time.
In this movie Christopher Walken plays Frank White who is the King of New York. He is not literally a king but actually some sort of crime boss of New York. He’s fresh out of the joint and unlike certain heroic individuals who choose to turn their life around and follow a path of Positivity, making the world a better place through art and culture, he decides to be king of new york. But he says he’s gonna build a hospital so that makes it okay.
The director is Abel Ferrara, an asshole director who I sort of like. I mean I never met the guy obviously but he’s one of those greaseballs like Vincent Gallo where, before you even see an interview with the guy, you just get the feeling he’s an asshole. In his movie DRILLER KILLER I didn’t even realize he was the star (he used a pseudonym) and I kept thinking this star really thinks he’s hot shit, it’s not just the character. What a fuckin asshole. But then I listened to the commentary track and heard Ferrara say the same exact thing about himself. So I had to like him. (read the rest of this shit…)
Hey, everyone. “Moriarty” here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
Sounds like Vern got cheated out of a screening of BATTLE ROYALE, and maybe that’s a good thing. He’s a reformed man after being a guest of the state, but who knows what’ll happen when you lay bare the blackest heart of man against man. I’d much rather be in a theater with Vern during a warped little character flick like GHOST WORLD, Terry (CRUMB) Zwigoff’s adaptation of the Daniel Clowes comics. I can’t wait to see this, and thanks to the always-appreciated efforts of Vern, we’re getting a little early peek…
This is a story about an individual named Vern who is standing in an alley outside of the Egyptian theater in Seattle, Washington where the world premiere of a movie is about to take place. There is a line around the building and I’m standing next to this dumpster that smells like piss and I’m thinking, this must be the line for Battle Royale. Battle Royale is this movie everybody’s talking about. It’s this week’s Chopper. (read the rest of this shit…)
WAYS YOU CAN SUPPORT THE SHIT OUT OF VERN & OUTLAWVERN.COM
if that's your thing:
1. Patreon
Toss me a couple bucks a month, support the good shit, also get access to a bunch of exclusive writing. This is my primary source of writing money that has allowed me to cut down to part time at the day job. Thank you!
2. Buy my books from your local bookseller or somebody
(NOTE: My ten year contract has passed on the Titan books, so I don't get residuals on them like I do WORM ON A HOOK and NIKETOWN, but I would love for you to read them because I'm proud of them)
EXTRA CREDIT: Review them on Amazon! That would really help me out. Unless you didn't like them, in which case forget I said anything.
3. If you ever buy from Amazon, go through my links or search engines
(you pay the same amount you were gonna pay anyway they cut me a little slice)
I also have an Amazon UK one:
(I can't get the search box widget to work anymore, so click on MOONWALKER and then search for what you want.)
4. My exciting line of fashion and leisure products
(I get a couple bucks per item, you get a cool t-shirt, mug or lifestyle item)
5. Spread the word
Tell your friends about my reviews and my books and everything. Only cool people though please, we don't need a bunch of suckers and/or chumps around here.
THANKS EVERYBODY. YOUR FRIEND, VERN
* * * *
Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
Nick Proctor on The Weight: “I loved this one too. Hawke’s pretty great in everything these days and he nailed his ‘quiet badass’ role superbly…” Sep 27, 16:55
Max K. on The Weight: “Don’t want to oversell it, but I dig this a lot. Such pleasingly analog films are so rare these days…” Sep 27, 15:59
Gavolt on Resident Evil (2026): “I liked the nod to THE MATRIX: RESURRECTIONS in the kamikaze zombie body drop scene. I also liked how he…” Sep 27, 09:07
Buy Nembutal Online on Phenomenon: “Nembutal-Tabletten online kaufen . Wir führen alle Nembutal-Dosierungen, von niedrigen therapeutischen bis hin zu hohen psychiatrischen Dosierungen, und decken alle…” Sep 27, 02:22
renfield on Resident Evil (2026): “This movie was a blast. The first third in particular was pretty much perfect, it gets so much humorous mileage…” Sep 26, 12:27
burningambulance on The Weight: “Yeah, this isn’t playing in my corner of Montana, but I will definitely be checking it out when it’s streaming…” Sep 26, 09:51
PetrosMT on One Last Shot: “Our favorite Martial Artist / Thespian has been let down for years now by the dwindling of his movies’ budgets.…” Sep 25, 17:53
Alex R on Resident Evil (2026): “Nice shout out to Inside, maybe my favorite video game. I didn’t make the connection but I can see it.…” Sep 25, 16:09
MaggieMayPie on Resident Evil (2026): “****SPOILERS SPOILERS ENDING SPOILERS**** I would normally have hated that ending. It would have really pissed me off. And, like…” Sep 25, 14:26
Bill Reed on The Weight: “Dying to see this, but like CAMP MIASMA before it, it’s the type of movie that only plays at one…” Sep 25, 13:37
RRA on Resident Evil (2026): “This was really good but it says something about 2026 horror that it’s so stacked in quality that this wouldn’t…” Sep 25, 13:01
VERN on Resident Evil (2026): “Well – SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER – I was really rooting for the guy to undo this bizarre transformation. And when…” Sep 25, 12:20
Franchise Fred on One Last Shot: “I saw them far enough apart I didn’t realize they were supposed to be cumulative so maybe I need to…” Sep 25, 11:33
Bill Reed on One Last Shot: “Did not know this existed until this review dropped, so good lookin’ out! The second one improved on the first…” Sep 25, 08:49
Acid Burn on Resident Evil (2026): “Ea-Nasir catching strays in the comments on a horror movie review in 2026; poor guy’s gotta be the most dunked-on…” Sep 25, 08:45
I remember the first time I saw RESERVOIR DOGS it was with a bunch of dudes that had seen it a bunch of times and knew all the dialogue and shit. I thought it was great but I didn’t really get those guys, I didn’t think I would end up watching it over and over again.
Let me tell you man, I’m not trying to commemorate the tenth anniversary of this movie. There’s no celebration here at all. It’s just analysis, I swear.
I meant to do this back when I reviewed 
In this movie Christopher Walken plays Frank White who is the King of New York. He is not literally a king but actually some sort of crime boss of New York. He’s fresh out of the joint and unlike certain heroic individuals who choose to turn their life around and follow a path of Positivity, making the world a better place through art and culture, he decides to be king of new york. But he says he’s gonna build a hospital so that makes it okay.
Hey, everyone. “Moriarty” here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
