"If victory favors me, I will protect your child with my life."

"I ask you not to worry about that possibility. Because my son and I live on the Demon Way in Hell, we're prepared to descend into Hell through the Six Realms and Four Lives."

trailer: MERCENARIES

Well, looks like on August 8th (on VOD and in theaters most likely not near you) we will get the first of the long-promised “female Expendables” movies.

The good news: Zoe Bell, Cynthia Rothrock, Vivica A. Fox, Kristanna Loken, and Brigitte Nielsen as the villain (which I’ve been saying they should do for a while, though I guess I hadn’t thought of it when we first discussed this). The bad news: produced by The Asylum. Also, director Christopher Ray (MEGA SHARK VS. CROCOSAURUS, 2-HEADED SHARK ATTACK, ASTEROID VS. EARTH) also has one coming out called PRISON RAID with pretty much the exact same cast, so who knows how much thought and care they might’ve put into either one of them. Or one of them might be all outtakes.

I’ll give it a shot, though. It’s also worth noting that Asylum is about to work with a world class director known for transcending the limitations of his chosen formats. Z Nation is the name of their upcoming 13-episode zombie tv show for SyFy. Sounds like Asylum Walking Dead, which sounds like the worst thing ever, but the pilot is directed by John Hyams. I read somewhere that he was also the show-runner, but the SyFy websight lists some other guy, so maybe not. Anyway, I’m keeping my fingers crossed, which makes it hard to type but I’m doing it.

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15 Responses to “trailer: MERCENARIES”

  1. I have a certain (admittedly not big) amount of respect for The Asylum. From what I’ve heard, anybody can make a movie for them, as long as it can be made with a low enough budget. That’s awesome! And their Mockbusters are a form of exploitation, that we haven’t seen in decades.

    Too bad that they have apparently no shame or quality control and their version of “striving for excellence” is “Hey, those guys like our movies ironically, so let’s make even worse stuff for them to enjoy, because we are totally in on the joke”.

    But something about this trailer makes me smile. I guess it’s the mid 90s TV look. I doubt it will be good, though.

  2. I hate to take attention away from this sure to be excellent film, but it looks like World War 3 is about to happen, which is a little bit scary, no? thoughts?

  3. Christopher Ray is of course Christopher Olen-Ray, the son of exploitation legend Fred Olen-Ray. I can’t recall if any of his dad’s movies ever really transcended their roots, but some were pretty fun to watch. And I think PRISON RAID was just the working or alternate title for MERCENARIES.

    I have a certain amount of respect for The Asylum’s entrepreneurial spirit, but damn if they don’t set such a low bar and fail to clear it most of the time.

    As for Z NATION, I’m afraid John Hyams is, by all accounts, only directing. His Facebook page indicates he directed the first two episodes and was working the sixth.

  4. Griff, it always looks like WWIII is about to happen. I’m not saying you should ignore it and sing “Everything is awesome”, but I’ve seen so many potential WWIII beginnings in my life, that I decided at one point to stop worrying until it’s official.

  5. I didn’t know he was Fred Olen Ray’s son. I thought PRISON RAID and MERCENARIES were the same thing too, but IMDb still has separate entries for them. Maybe it is a mistake.

  6. I think it is a mistake, the movie launched its own Twitter account(@Mercenariescc) and the description refers to it as “aka PRISON RAID”. It could be a first for The Asylum if they were so confident about their film that they would allow a sequel or something to be shot simultaneously.

  7. Guh…this cast deserves better. There’s some material that can’t be elevated no matter what.

  8. CJ Holden – I know, but it’s still crazy and frightening what’s going on right, I mean Jesus Christ

  9. and it’s more than a little eerie that all this is going on right on the 100th anniversary of WW1

  10. Stallone is trying to get Sigourney Weaver for his “Expendabelles” movie:

    http://www.show-techn.com/2014/08/sylvester-stallone-wants-sigourney.html

  11. Just got through watching this and yeah, its exactly what you already knew it would be.

    I feel sorry for Zoe Bell who is the sole participant giving a shit here. Her few fights are all super-fast cut into near inchoerence, and the rest of the film is made up of occasional bouts of truly terrible gunplay and even worse dialogue scenes.

    I know these things are made purely to cash-in, I do; but holy shit, a little bit of sincerity, a bit of artistry, wouldn’t go amiss.

  12. How’s Kristianna Loken in this?

  13. She’s OK in it, too, but is given little to do. Its Bell’s show, mostly.

    It could’ve been a fun little movie if more people involved gave a damn.

  14. This is playing the Burbank Film Festival on Saturday. I bought a ticket. Hope Nielsen and/or Rothrock show up.

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