Who the fuck am I fooling, MASTER OF THE FLYING GUILLOTINE is the winner of this fight. MORTAL KOMBAT: THE ANIMATED VIDEO: THE JOURNEY BEGINS is really, really, really not the winner. Video games go back to the arcade in shame and tears. Goro goes back to Outworld to apologize to his brother who he killed to steal a crystal or whatever.
My friends, this is an embarrassment. I want to apologize for this bout. MORTAL KOMBAT: THE JOURNEY BEGINS was a late-entrant in The Super-Kumite. The initial entries were not properly screened, and two teams (Team Lamas and Team Kickboxer 3-5) had to be disqualified when their first round movies were found to be simply underground fighting movies and did not involve tournaments. Team Video Games was quickly put together on the strength of TEKKEN, a movie that had been recommended to me before and had a good cast. I would’ve liked to include MORTAL KOMBAT LEGACY featuring Michael Jai White, but from my research it didn’t seem to have anything to do with the tournament, it was just introducing the characters that could later fight in a tournament some day if they feel like making more episodes and want to make them about a tournament. THE JOURNEY BEGINS, it turns out, doesn’t really have the tournament either, but at least it talks about it repeatedly, has people preparing for it and flashes back to fights from previous tournaments.
Remember, I did set the matches up at random, so it was not my intent to pit a probable-lemon against a beloved classic. Still, I wish the competition had been stronger in this one. Then again, even more respectable movies would’ve most likely been decapitated by the flying guillotine. You gotta get rid of a few lemons for the strongest to survive the omelet or whatever.
Anyway, The Men From Hong Kong advance to round 2, where their second pick EXTREME CHALLENGE will probly have a harder time.
VERN has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the books SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL, YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER!: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS and NIKETOWN: A NOVEL. His horror-action novel WORM ON A HOOK will arrive later this year.