I'm not trying to be a hero! I'M FIGHTING THE DRAGON!!

Vern returns to deliver the good word on Wesley Snipes direct-to-video flick 7 SECONDS!

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with everybody’s favorite outlaw, Vern, a bloke that has a certain way about him… a certain quality in his written adoration of action stars and their direct-to-video adventures. I can’t get enough of this guy. You tell me Steven Seagal or Van Damme or now Snipes has a new direct-to-video actioneer out I don’t think I’d bother to read the whole title, but damned if I wouldn’t read a 2,000 word review on it if it were written by Vern. I have a feeling that Vern’s reviews (negative or positive) are better than most movies he’s reviewing. Anyway, here’s the man himself. Enjoy!

Dear Quint –

Or whoever’s home. I got an important dispatch for you from direct-to-video land. This one is regarding one called 7 SECONDS which I only care about because it stars Wesley God Damn Snipes.

That’s right, Wesley’s gone DTV. This is actually his second. The first one was called UNSTOPPABLE which is a good title for a Wesley Snipes film, except in that one his character really was pretty stoppable. Or at least nobody was really trying to stop him from doing anything, as far as I could tell.

[Before I go any further, I want to say upfront that this is gonna be an essay about Wesley Snipes as much as a review of 7 SECONDS. So I don’t want to see any wiseasses asking where the review is. But I probaly will.]

7 SecondsNow I admit, without the BLADE saga I probaly wouldn’t give two shits about Wesley Snipes. But his great performances in all three of those movies made me realize that he is exactly the great American action star Hollywood has been looking around for and not finding. Van Damme and Seagal went DTV, Bruce pursued other options, Schwarzenegger and Stallone got worn out, Vin Diesel might’ve been a mistake, and they haven’t figured out what to do with The Rock yet. So meanwhile they’re thinking well, what about those other guys we use in the regular movies. Actors, I think they’re called. But the only two they can think of is Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. I guess Damon’s working out in the James Bourne movies. But otherwise I don’t know.

And meanwhile, over here, is Wesley God Damn Snipes. A dramatic actor that can run circles around either of the will hunting guys until they get dizzy watching him and tip over. And yet, at the same time, a bad motherfucker. The only guy who can both star in Spike Lee movies and whoop ass in capoeria, or however you spell that thing. I admit, I skipped the whole Wesley-&-Woody period. And most of his action vehicles are garbage. I like a good DIE HARD ripoff, but PASSENGER 57 is no SUDDEN DEATH. And I couldn’t even get all the way through ART OF WAR. But even you weirdos who don’t enjoy the BLADE movies oughta be able to recognize what he brought to them. He brings complete dedication to every aspect of the character – the stoic samurai icon, the cocky trash talking street fighter, and the super hero. You believe that dude is a super hero because of the way he stands, the way he moves. In these movies, he is a genius, and I say that without fear of trouble in the talkbacks because the more obnoxious fuckers in there can’t get through a paragraph this long without skimming. The rest of you are cool though, good job with the attention span. You’re gonna need to keep it up to get through this one, sorry.

There are people who do better action than him, but you’d have trouble naming many who still have the same balance of action and acting skill. (Thomas Jane is the only contender that comes to mind.) And the BLADE movies are popular, even the third one that wasn’t as good as the other two. You’d think he’d be able to do whatever he wants. But here he is going straight to video.

Maybe the guy is just an asshole? There were stories about tension on the set of BLADE PART 3, and Dave Goyer having to have that wrestler Triple H as his bodyguard (henchman?) on set. On the DVD, Goyer tells a funny story about Wesley Snipes refusing to do certain things in the script that he felt Blade wouldn’t do, like leaving the interrogation room alongside the smart allecky kid that rescues him. “But there’s only one door in the room, where is he supposed to go?” “That’s you’re problem.” The thing is, Snipes was obviously right. He knows his Blade. And his demands led to the “Forgot my sword” joke, which is one of the pure Blade moments in the movie. But I can see why some directors wouldn’t want to work with an actor who does things like that.

Whatever the problem is, here he is in 7 SECONDS, and I’m happy to say that this one’s above average for a direct to video movie, and much better than UNSTOPPABLE. I’ll probaly forget what it was about before I even finish this review, but at least I didn’t feel like I was wasting my time while I was watching it. That’s unusual in DTV.

It’s a typical heist story, not the gritty character driven pulp novel type that I like, but the more action movie/shootout/car chase type. Snipes and his gang pull off a major robbery, which includes a Van Gogh painting that may or may not be a phoney, but definitely is worth $65 million in insurance money to some guy who I fucking SWORE was Gollum from the Lords of the Rings movies, but the credits and my trusty friend the internet don’t back me up on this one. (I can verify that he’s in two other movies by the same director, at least.) So another gang kills most of Wesley’s guys and kidnaps his girlfriend (who’s also the security guard that fingered the job), but he gets away with the painting in a case.

So the movie’s about Wesley trying to save the girl, the bad guys trying to get the painting, some cops trying to get Wesley, and Wesley flirting with a blond gal military cop that’s after him. You get a couple car chases, a couple fights, etc. It’s mostly what you expect and it’s not great filmatism. There’s some bad editing and music, and some white flashes (luckily no Avid farts). You watch a movie like this, you want to send the director a DVD of RIFIFI so he can rethink this bullshit idea that loud music and fast cuts makes a heist more exciting.

There’s a couple touches that aren’t quite generic. The bad guy who looks like Gollum wants the money to treat some kind of palsy he suffers from, so he always has the shakes. This adds some extra tension any time he’s holding a gun, you don’t know if he’s gonna shoot somebody or himself in the balls on accident. Also, Wesley completely trashes the cop’s car in the first car chase, and she actually drives it in that condition for the rest of the movie. I don’t remember seeing that one before.

The thing that makes the movie watchable though is Wesley. He doesn’t get as good of a character as Blade obviously (he talks more, is all) but he’s got a couple good lines, a couple good fights, and the usual charm. He gets some good maneuvers in there, like attacking a guy that’s pissing in the woods, and dragging him across his own puddle. (Well, I guess that’s better than somebody else’s puddle.) Also I like the part where he beats a guy unconscious, then casually sits on top of him while he catches his breath.

By the way, if you’re wondering why it’s called 7 SECONDS, I got no clue either.

In BLADE PART THREE there’s a scene where Blade is captured, drugged, and shackled in a chair. Wesley is great in this scene because the whole time he’s being questioned his eyes are moving around the room, examining every nook and cranny. And because you know this is fucking Blade you know that he’s taking in all the information he needs for a badass Houdini type escape. He’s painted into a corner, there’s nothing he can do… so you fucking KNOW he’s gonna do it…

And then some smartass kid busts in and rescues him. Oh well.

In UNSTOPPABLE, Wesley found himself in the same situation. Captured, drugged, shackled to a chair, getting a second chance to do this shit. To show what he’s made of. You can’t shackle Wesley Snipes to a chair, man. Because what he’ll do, he’ll… well, this time his girlfriend saves him.

In 7 SECONDS, what do you know, there he is again, captured/drugged/chaired. And I’m watching this thinking, no fucking way Wesley. You’re not gonna let me down three times in a row. What this time, a dog is gonna bring you the key? A little kid will come in and do karate on these guys? Maybe instead of getting rescued, they’ll just feel sorry for you and let you go. Let bygones be bygones. I was nervous.

Well, he doesn’t mount an escape from the chair. But he convinces them that they need him to lead them to the locker where he has the painting. And then – god damn it, are my eyes deceiving me? – he actually escapes! In fact, he literally fights two guys with his hands tied behind his back! This is progress, Wesley Snipes!

I guess you could say that’s where Wesley’s career is right now – drugged and tied to that chair. And he’s got two ways out. He can sit there and wait to be rescued by kids and girls like Blade 3, or he can take his destiny into his hands and escape, like Blade 1 or 2 would do. Or Nino Brown, or the cop from KING OF NEW YORK, although I think he just gets shot and dies in that one, so that’s a bad example. But you know what I’m saying. Wesley Snipes deserves the big screen. And he’s perfectly capable of taking it back.

okay, I’ll stop now

–Vern

Originally posted at Ain’t-It-Cool-News: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/20175

View the archived Ain’t-It-Cool-News Talkback

  • May 8, 2005, 6:58 a.m. CST

    I agree.

    by Amorphius

    This review wasn’t as humorous as Vern’s usual reviews, and I don’t think Snipes can act circles around anybody.

  • May 8, 2005, 8:54 a.m. CST

    Amen

    by c4andmore

    and Blade 3 sucked.

    Period.

    Exclamation point!

  • May 8, 2005, 8:56 a.m. CST

    Early 90s Snipes

    by Mojo-Wan

    Back in the day, before white people knew who he was, he looked ready to take over the world. Then he hooked up with fringe religious groups and started sleepwalking through cheesy action movies, like U.S. Marshals. He’s still capable of moving performances in small, character driven movies like Down In The Delta, or Waiting To Exhale, or Mo Better Blues. Certainly no film that would ever get attention among geeks. Me and my friends, mostly aficionados(as opposed to the watch rappers get shot in drug fables types), once thought he was the best African-American actor available, back when Denzel was trying to be Kevin Costner. Since then, Snipes has gotten into some bad stuff. I don’t think he’s tried to act in years.

  • May 8, 2005, 8:56 a.m. CST

    Yay! Vern thinks I’m cool.

    by Grando

    There is a certain quality to DTV action flicks. I love them, bring this shit on!

  • May 8, 2005, 9:09 a.m. CST

    Demolition Man

    by ElPaw

    He were good in that.

  • May 8, 2005, 9:18 a.m. CST

    What the hell is so special about this Vern guy?

    by Blarneyman

    Damned if I know.

  • May 8, 2005, 9:25 a.m. CST

    “Wesley completely trashes the cop’s car in the first car chase,

    by Rolling_Stone

    It was called “Smokey and the Bandit”.

  • May 8, 2005, 9:41 a.m. CST

    Saying Blade 3 wasn’t as good as the first two …

    by Shan

    … is like saying Gigli isn’t as good as The Empire Strikes Back. Blade 3 was ghastly. Blade 2 was way better – and it also sucked.

  • May 8, 2005, 10:18 a.m. CST

    Nice review, Vern

    by BillEmic

    I agree, Wesley has (had?) a lot of potential, although this is coming from soneone who really liked “Passenger 57” as a bit of cheeky “Die Hard” rip-off fun. And I actually sat through “Art of War” in its entirety, which was only made bearable by a really good-looking Asian chick who Wesley forces to strip naked in his car (why? Because she has a ‘bug’ in her clothes, of course. Smooth, Wesley…). I’m not sure if Welsey can make a dramatic return to form and reclaim the action king mantle – maybe if he were to make the Black Panther movie, like he’s always talked about. Until then, I think Van Damme is making the best DTV movies around. “Wake of Death” was a DTV masterpiece.

  • May 8, 2005, 10:23 a.m. CST

    So…where’s the review.

    by benito

    Boom tish!

    I am a funny bitch.

  • May 8, 2005, 10:32 a.m. CST

    Do you not read the other reviews on this site Vern?

    by Shan

    The Chinese Basketball Player you refer to in your XXX2 review, Yao Ming, is a mere 7 foot 6 or so. Does that rule him out of contention? P.S Another good review but that’s to be expected …

  • May 8, 2005, 10:33 a.m. CST

    But seriously…

    by benito

    I have a question I wanna ask for anyone who might have an answer. Why do they make these direct to video movies? Because I just don’t see how they’re making their money back. Is it a case of every time they make a Segal film they think they’re gonna get a cinema release… and then are left saying ‘not again’ when that doesn’t happen? Or do they make these films just to sit on video shelves and get ignored? There must be money in this stuff somewhere I guess… but it sure as hell aint coming from me.

  • May 8, 2005, 10:56 a.m. CST

    Is this the one with Tamzin Outhwaite in?

    by danowen

    Last year in all the British tabloids it was heralded as “big news” that ex-EastEnders TV actress Tamzin Outhwaite would be starring in a big-budget Wesley Snipes movies. Supposedly her “Hollywood debut”… but now it turns out to be straight-to-video durge, right?

  • May 8, 2005, 12:47 p.m. CST

    “There were stories about tension on the set of BLADE PART 3” ..

    by FrankDrebin

    Of course, if a star “fills the seats”, then the studios will overlook ego (Kevin Costner), substance abuse (Robin Williams), lack of cooperation (Russell Crowe) or lack of range (Julia Roberts). But as soon as audiences stop buying tickets… Vern didn’t mention Bruce Willis, a very unlikely candidate for action star–he’s survived longer than the rest because people ENJOY working with him. So he keeps getting offered quality scripts, which in turn keeps his appeal high.

  • May 8, 2005, 12:55 p.m. CST

    To Benito: DTV films are profitable just from pre-orders by Blo

    by FrankDrebin

    …plus worldwide cable rights. Even if NOBODY watches them, they’re profitable. A weird business, huh? And yet, in court cases, studios claimed to have lost money on blockbusters (Forrest Gump, Batman, Coming To America).

  • May 8, 2005, 1:29 p.m. CST

    direct to video

    by therightclique

    this is most certainly not his SECOND DTV release. He has been in several. Liberty Stands Still comes to mind. That was the movie the writers of Phonebooth watched before they wrote Phonebooth. The premise is EXACTLY the same… Anyway, if you hit IMDB, you can see several movies that nobody has ever heard of. The Blade series is the only thing holding this asshole together.

  • May 8, 2005, 1:40 p.m. CST

    some responses

    by Vern

    I guess Snipes is a more controversial topic than Seagal, but at least I’m not getting the shit I used to get here. You know why, because of excellence in proofreading and grammar. MOJO-WAN: I agree with you mostly, but I think Snipes is good even in his bad stuff. Even in UNSTOPPABLE, which is probaly his worst. And I think the BLADE movies is great acting but it’s a different type of acting than you’re talking about. For dramatic, at least there’s his cameo as a deadbeat crackhead father in Zig-Zag. BLARNEYMAN: what is special about Vern? Nothin. Except the usual “every human being is special, a unique snowflake” crap. ROLLINGSTONES: Okay, Smokey and the Bandit, and other chase movies. But in regular non-chase movies where they aren’t forced to keep driving they usually magically have replacement cars the next day, or the story doesn’t require cars after that. In this one she mentions that it had taken her forever to save up for the car, so you know she can’t get another one right away, and you see her driving the piece of shit around for the rest of the movie. Do you know of any like that? BILLEMIC: Okay, I will have to watch Wake of Death then. I was actually gonna review it but some other sucker beat me to it so I think I didn’t end up watching it. SHAN: 7’6″ is still pretty damn tall so I’m gonna say yes, he would still make a good xXx3. Thanks for reading that review, I’m proud of that one. As for “Blade 2 sucks” though… yeah yeah yeah, move along fella. DANOWEN: yes, that’s her I guess. Too bad for her. She’s okay in it though. FRANK: I actually mentioned Bruce (by first name only) and he’s one of my favorites. I said he’s “pursued other options” because now he’s more into dramatic acting like The Sixth Sense and that kind of stuff now. I don’t think most people see him as primarily an action star anymore. But then Hostage was pretty good and they’re talking up Die Hard 4 again. So maybe I was being unfair to Bruce in order to support my argument. Sorry Bruce.

  • May 8, 2005, 1:45 p.m. CST

    THERIGHTCLIQUE

    by Vern

    Good call bud, looks like that one only played in Italy. I didn’t know about that one. But looking at IMDb it looks like that would be #1, unstoppable #2 and this one #3. So I was off by one.

  • May 8, 2005, 2:50 p.m. CST

    “the movie the writers of Phonebooth watched before they wrote P

    by JackRabbitSlim

    Uh… Larry Cohen first pitched the rough draft for Phone Booth in the mid 70s to Alfred Hitchcock…

  • May 8, 2005, 2:51 p.m. CST

    Good writeup

    by Darth Thoth

    Thanks Vern. Thoroughly enjoyed the article. When Wesley is on, he’s on (Blade, New Jack, Passenger, White Men, etc.) but when he’s off he’s most certainly off (see Art of War). I definitely appreciate the article cuz I’ve always been a big Snipes fan. Hopefully he’ll get Black Panther and we’ll see what he does. Lastly, I agree that he knows Blade better than anyone and Blade III was an insult to fans of the first two. I don’t know what Goyer was thinking. And I love Goyer. But, Blade III was a mess and I totally see why Wesley wanted out. Then again, from what I hear he was a big jerk on the set so who knows. Hopefully from here on, he can get the roles he wants so as to have no excuses. I think that’s fair. Peace. And oh yeah, Vern, I can’t wait to check out your website, it looks cool. Peace.

  • May 8, 2005, 3:45 p.m. CST

    Vern…

    by criderman

    …is the new Joe Bob Briggs (or Joe Queenan, even!)…

  • May 8, 2005, 5:40 p.m. CST

    Stop going to vern’s site!!!

    by readyoufool

    I’M trying to go there, and you fuckers have made his data somethingerother exceed the limit. bah! Vern, time to get a real domain etc. how about http://www.fuckyoujack.com or, i suppose outlawvern.com would work…

  • May 8, 2005, 8:20 p.m. CST

    Vern

    by Shan

    Was just referring to Capone’s Year of the Yao review which happened to be on the main page when yours appeared. Not trying to be *too* much of a jerk …

  • May 8, 2005, 9:49 p.m. CST

    To Shan and Lynxpro

    by Vern

    SHAN: I didn’t think you were being a jerk bud. Don’t worry. LYNXPRO: are you shitting me? A Blade TV show? That sounds dangerous. At one time they were talking about computer animated, which sounds terribe, but live action could be even worse. I don’t know, I like Michael Jai White sometimes but I think just on principle you can’t get the guy who played Spawn to play Blade. Like Bruce said in Sin City, there’s wrong and then there’s wrong and then there’s THAT. I would say have him young so that you don’t compare him to Wesley. Because no way anybody would do it as good. Plus, how the fuck they gonna replace Kris Kristofferson? By the way, did you know that New Line or somebody had wanted Denzel to play Blade? Now that woulda been funny.

  • May 8, 2005, 11:16 p.m. CST

    Best scene in ‘Blade: Trinity’

    by Ribbons

    Otherwise it was a pretty crummy movie, but that interrogation scene where the familiar dude is interrogating him and his eyes are dancing all around the room was aces.

  • May 8, 2005, 11:16 p.m. CST

    One Night Stand

    by Thunderballs

    You should see what Snipes does to Ming Na Wen in One Night Stand. That alone should keep him in front of the cameras for a while. I likes me my Mike Figgis.

  • May 8, 2005, 11:18 p.m. CST

    Don’t underestimate the DTV market

    by BillEmic

    The DTV market has to turn around killer profits – how else can you justify the continued existence of Dean Cain and Casper Van Dien?! I remember reading that the DTV market basically comes down to “Van Damme vs. Seagal” in terms of the biggest sales. Van Damme trounced Seagal with “In Hell”, which was supposedly one of Blockbuster’s hottest rentals when it came out. I’m not sure how well “Wake of Death” is fairing – I actually have a lame DTV theory but…I think “In Hell” did so well because it came right after “The Hulk” at most Blockbusters (since they shelf alphabetically). People were like, “Hey, want to rent ‘The Hulk’? We never did catch that at the theatre.” “Who’s in it?” “Nick Nolte.” “Nick Nolte plays the *Hulk*? Forget it.” “Okay. Oh, wait – there’s a new Van Damme movie! Remember him?!” “Grab it!” Okay, I apologize for that long and drawn out example but…I think that kind of marketing works, giving the DTV movies a title that is kind of in the middle of the alphabet. So in conclusion, I think “Wake of Death” may not be doing that well simply because it’s on the very last shelf at Blockbuster, where most people don’t even get to…or where they also stick all their TV show DVDs. Sorry but Van Damme and “Sex in the City” don’t mix!

  • May 9, 2005, 1:18 a.m. CST

    I like your alphabet theory, Bill

    by Vern

    I wonder if the marketing people consider that? And I wonder if the O’s are a good location, because that would explain OUT FOR A KILL and OUT OF REACH.

  • May 9, 2005, 6:56 a.m. CST

    Direct to Video Market

    by Shan

    There must be money in it or we wouldn’t get such gems as Wild Things 2 and 3, Cruel Intentions 2 and 3 and Bring it On Again of all things (I have seen none of these by the way). Add to that list Starship Troopers 2. Obvious benefits include not having to strike up cinema prints, distribution through video stores country and worldwide, falling equipment costs and often some name recognition to get people to buy or rent stuff. Eg Van Damme, Seagal et al.

  • May 9, 2005, 3:09 p.m. CST

    Hope Snipes wins the case!

    by ComputerGuy68

    Blade 3 wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, but is could have been SO much better. Oh Vern check out that “Liberty Stands” flick, not a bad one either. Snipes SHOULD be bigger. My question regarding Blade 3, as a producer, why didn’t he have more say in what happened?

  • May 9, 2005, 3:23 p.m. CST


    by Vern

    Shan, believe it or not I’ve seen all of the DTV sequels you mentioned except Bring It On Again (coming soon: Bring It On Again… For More). What I’m wondering really is, with all these giant snake movies and movies starring Seagal and Dean Cain and people like that, is there more of an ironic market than a sincere one? Like, “Ha ha, Boa vs. Python, I gotta watch that, ha ha!” as opposed to “Geez, which one would win? I will watch to find out!” As for Blade 3, I guess I’m not as harsh as everybody else. I think it’s a big dropoff in quality, but it has its moments. I think it’s kind of a miracle that they managed to make two great Blade movies, so I’m not gonna complain too much about one that’s not as good if that’s the way the chips have to fall. (Goyer doesn’t have the same commitment to excellence that I have.)

  • May 9, 2005, 3:24 p.m. CST

    “Wesley Snipes”? I know I heard that name somewhere…

    by SalvatoreGravano

    Oh, yes, I remember – I saw one watchable, even decent film with someone by that name once. “New Jack City”, it was called. I also read an amusing story about that person – http://hollywoodbitchslap.com/feature.php?feature=1451

  • May 9, 2005, 5:45 p.m. CST

    Walk Together, Rock Together

    by PlantBoy!

    7 Seconds because the soundtrack is comprised entirely of early 7 Seconds demo tapes.

  • May 9, 2005, 7:10 p.m. CST

    ComputerGuy

    by Ribbons

    Cause he may not have had many good ideas. “Easier to destroy, harder to create,” yadda yadda yadda, etc., you’re married, amen. I mean, I know from listening to the first two DVDs that his two concerns were: driving that American muscle car of his (good idea) and getting Blade some poontang (bad idea), and then according to Vern he didn’t want to leave the room at the same time as Hannibal King? He can be pissed all he wants, but that shit is whack.

  • May 9, 2005, 8:54 p.m. CST

    SalvatoreGravano – Ouch!

    by ComputerGuy68

    Wow, some story. It sure explains why Blade is hardly in the film. Of course always remember that there is three sides to every story… That’s what I hate about this whole “Star” concept we have here. These people just start to believe their hype and think their shit dosen’t stink. This is the prime reason I stopped watching show like Entertain Tonight, they went from insider news to what Julia Roberts ate today. Star worship sucks and is part of the reason Hollywood puts out so much garbage.

  • May 9, 2005, 9:35 p.m. CST

    the bitch slap story

    by Vern

    I’m sure that story is true and that Snipes is an asshole. But I think the writer is completely wrong about at least one thing: Snipes is the best thing about Blade 3. My biggest complaint is that there isn’t enough Blade, and although I think I liked the movie a little more than most I think most people tend to agree that Blade should be more in charge than his sidekick teens. Blade was as great as ever, the movie around him was a little on the filmed in Vancouver side. But the story does explain how some of that could be Snipes’s fault (maybe they emphasized the Nightstalkers to make up for not having Wesley around to film scenes). Still, I like the part about “tell that cracker to get his lines right.” That was pretty cool.

  • May 9, 2005, 10:41 p.m. CST

    What that article mostly reveals…

    by Anlashok

    Is Hollywoods desperation to keep a franchise going. If I was encountering this much bullshit in my production I would have hit the breaks faster than you can say “Get the fuck out of that trailer, pothead!” Jesus christ, these people are supposed to be adults, but it sounded like everyone reverted back to their highschool personas. If the star of the movie wasn’t going to give 110% then there shouldn’t have been a movie, period. This shitfest of a movie made it to print for one reason and one reason only, dollar signs. Cash won over quality once again, and for that I hold every last one of those fuckers at fault.

  • May 10, 2005, 1:08 a.m. CST

    Vern, I have no trouble believing …

    by Shan

    … you as I have seen some of your past reviews on some of these movies for starters. Obviously if a straight to video 2 leads to a 3 and so on, part 2 at least must have made money. They’re excellent fodder for some very funny talkbacks and reviews. By the way Vern, the DTV market is huge in Japan and some films made for that market turn out to be good enough for/evolve into cinema films (best example Juon). Have you seen Takashi Miike’s “Dead or Alive”? It has this fantastic opening sequence and what must be the most amazing end of any action film ever, which I guess is the logically end to the ever more hyperbolic action setpieces in action films in general. Fudoh is also a credible entry of excessive action ultraviolence and is a good entry to Miike’s films as it at least has a plot you can follow easily enough (I mean, I wouldn’t recommend anyone starting with Gozu or Izo for starters …).

  • May 10, 2005, 1:51 a.m. CST

    DTV and Izo

    by AZJim

    It’s an admittedly small sample size, but I manage an independent video store in a fancy neighborhood in Manhattan, and while we stock almost all the new J-CVD and Steve Siegel stuff, and it rents a little, there is almost zero “ironic” interest in renting these movies. The people who rent them tend to rent frequently, and they seem more interested in genre (they mostly rent horror and action movies) than the aesthetic or filmatist quality of the movies. If they have a question about Boa vs. Python, it is less likely to be “Who do you think wins?” than “Is there a lot of action/gore?” Some of them look a little sheepish when they rent Into the Sun or even Wake of Death, but they’re not doing it for a goof, and I would think if there was some kind of “ironic” market for these films, it would be in this nabe.

  • May 10, 2005, 1:55 a.m. CST

    oh, yeah. Izo

    by AZJim

    The only really good Takashi Miike film I’ve seen is Audition. Ichi the Killer and Gozu have their moments. Izo was an endlessly tedious monstrosity that discourages me from ever seeing another one of his films.

  • May 10, 2005, 10:42 a.m. CST

    Crazy article

    by BillEmic

    Hey, thanks for posting the link to that article. I enjoyed the read. I have to say, though – Wesley may be a dick and hard to work with – but at the end of the day, he is still the reason anybody enjoyed “Blade Trinity”, or the first two films for that matter. No one walked away from the movie wishing that there would be a “Night Stalkers” spin-off…we all wished there had been more Wesley in this one. The man has presence and charisma to spare, especially in a role like Blade. Maybe he takes it too far – there’s no excuse for his drug use or refusing to appear on set – but the bottom line is that there would be no “Blade” without Wesley Snipes.

VERN has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the books SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL, YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER!: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS and NIKETOWN: A NOVEL. His horror-action novel WORM ON A HOOK will arrive later this year.
This entry was posted on Sunday, May 8th, 2005 at 6:15 am and is filed under Action, AICN, Crime, Reviews, Thriller. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

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