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Posts Tagged ‘Damon Wayans’

In the Army Now /Blankman / Shake, Rattle & Rock! (August ’94 Comedy Dump)

Tuesday, August 27th, 2024

I don’t review that many straight up comedies, but sometimes it works out in these summer retrospectives, since there’s usually something to be said about them as time capsules and how their themes compare or contrast to other films of the season. After all, this series started with SERIAL MOM, and that’s one of the best movies of the summer. PCU wasn’t good, but it had some interesting things to analyze. Sometimes it’s worth my while.

But here we are in August, with its reputation as a dumping ground for shitty movies, and the ones I’ve been watching haven’t dispelled that notion. None of these felt like enough to write about on their own, but hopefully in the aggregate they might be worth reading about? I don’t know. I trust you to make your own decisions on that.

I am not up on the works of Paulie Shore, but I went into IN THE ARMY NOW (released August 12th) with an open mind. It starts with the sound of Bones (Shore) saying something about “pilgrim” in a John Wayne voice (always, always, always funny, I’m sure we all agree) and then bickering with his buddy Jack (Andy Dick, DOUBLE DRAGON) as they play a video game about tank warfare. It turns out they’re doing this while working their shifts at an electronics store called Crazy Boys in Glendale. Bones is about to get fired, then briefly averts it when his girlfriend (Fabiana Udenio, BRIDE OF RE-ANIMATOR) pretends to be a customer buying an expensive TV from him, but the boss finds out the scam because he tries to have sex with her in the back and Jack uses one of the video cameras to broadcast it on the wall of TVs. (read the rest of this shit…)

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Posted in Reviews, Comedy/Laffs | 29 Comments »

The Last Boy Scout

Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005

starring Bruce Willis

So let’s say instead of being John McClane or somebody, Bruce was Joe Hallenbeck, a washed up, slightly overweight, cigarette loving, booze-sucking, wife-and-daughter-arguing, disgraced secret service agent turned low-life asshole private detective. Also, for the sake of argument, let’s say that Damon Wayans is Hallenbeck’s one-time favorite football player but his career was ruined in a gambling scandal and now he’s a drug addict dating a stripper (Academy Award winner Halle Berry, in a step up from her role as a crack ho in JUNGLE FEVER) who Hallenbeck was hired to protect by his former friend who he just found out was screwing his wife then saw get blown up by a car bomb and now Halle Berry has been murdered because she knew too much about a football team owner trying to blackmail a senator that Hallenbeck used to protect but punched out because he was torturing women and now they’re trying to legalize gambling. Also I forgot to mention that Hallenbeck once saved the president’s life, and some dudes are gonna set off a bomb at the football game, and there was this fucked up part at the beginning where an NFL player pulled out a gun on the field and started shooting everybody then said “Ain’t life a bitch?” (to be or not to be, that is the question) and blew his brains out. (read the rest of this shit…)

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Posted in Action, Bruce, Comedy/Laffs, Mystery, Reviews, Thriller | 14 Comments »

Bulletproof

Monday, January 1st, 2001

You know how I am, I get out to the real world, I make it my duty to try to catch up on what’s going on in the culture and what not. And I have heard alot about this Adam Sandler, #1 box office star, funny guy, sings songs. Sounds kind of like my man Bruce Willis. Well I don’t wanna be left in the dust so I decided to check the kid out.

I found several to choose from – you got golf, you got babysitting, you got kindergarten, etc. The choice was obvious, Bulletproof. (read the rest of this shit…)

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Posted in Action, Comedy/Laffs, Reviews | 7 Comments »

Divided (Dancer in the Dark and Bamboozled)

Monday, October 16th, 2000

INTRODUCTION

Well this week it’s nothing but controversy in the world of arthouse type Cinema. Discussion and debate riddles the lobbies of select theaters nationwide. Limited releases bring unlimited disagreement in a platform type pattern across the great land of america.

Audiences are divided over which movie is more divisive, Dancer in the Dark or Bamboozled? Many love Dancer in the Dark, many hate it. Bamboozled has been called both a career destroying debacle and the year’s best film. However some feel that Bamboozled is really more provocative than divisive. Maybe Dancer in the Dark is dividing audiences, but is it provoking them? No matter how divisive it is, can it be as outrageous as Bamboozled? As explosive?

Well shit I don’t know. Personally I’m divided on both of these. I love ’em and I hate ’em. I think I love Dancer in the Dark a little more than I hate it and hate Bamboozled a little more than I love it. But I mean who knows I am so divided and provoked and outraged at their explosiveness that I don’t even know up from down anyway. (read the rest of this shit…)

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Posted in Comedy/Laffs, Reviews, Vern Tells It Like It Is | 2 Comments »

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