"CATCH YOU FUCKERS AT A BAD TIME?"

You heard about this “twitter” deal?

twitter1Well this new “blog” format is working out real good. I don’t think I’m gonna start catching up with all the 21st century technologies, for example I still don’t have a cellular phone device or those shoes with the wheels in them. But everywhere I go I hear about this “twitter” they got now. Moriarty writes in his column about how Harry Twittered him something or other, Harry writes in his column about what he was Twittering during the movie because it was so scary, Devin Feraci on Chud is mad because some other douchebag used his twittering during Crank 2 and also he had to cancel his tweeter for Even Rachel Wood because he was disappointed in the quality of her twitterings, or whatever.

You would think it would only be internet people but it’s on TV too, on Larry King and Oprah. That is one thing they didn’t cover in the movie “Notorious” is how much Puffy goes around on TV talking about the “twitter”. Anyway I guess this is what you’re supposed to do now so I’m gonna test it out today, you go to http://twitter.com/outlawvern to read it I believe.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009 at 10:40 am and is filed under Updates. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

20 Responses to “You heard about this “twitter” deal?”

  1. Okay, now this is a real surprise. But it’s a good one. Yes, I’m following you already. :)

  2. Hahahaha, that’s fantastic, yeah I don’t get it eith

  3. You’re a rock of sanity in a sea of bullshit vern.

  4. Aww, no, man…don’t get sucked into that dumbfart crap. Nobody needs to run a damn ticker of their entire life without also being a robot whose only means of communication is an LED indicator on it’s face ’cause the scientists/corporation either wouldn’t or couldn’t spring for a mouth.

  5. Whoa, man. I don’t know. I mean I fucking loath twitter. But who knows, maybe you’ll be the guy who figures out how to use it to say something relevant.

    I hate when critics mention their twitter feeds in their reviews “if you’ve been following me on twitter you know all about controversy surrounding-”

    Don’t care. It’s one step above people who take pictures of their shits and send them to everyone.

  6. I just read your feed. The only thought you managed to get out untruncated was “I have to go take a piss”. This is the new sensation everyone’s raving about.

  7. How does a twitter work? It sounds like a text message or and e-mail. Is that all it is?

    Plus couldn’t people with web sights such as this one just post that they’re taking a piss on the sights themselves? I’m just not understanding the concept of a twitter, I guess. Not dissing on it, I’m just ignorant about it.

  8. Nevermind. I just saw Vern’s twitter. I think I get it now.

  9. I have so far been able to ignore P-Twitty and the like. If you tweet I will read it though. I think you might get bored with the whole concept eventually. You seem rejuvenated lately though and more Vern is a good thing.

  10. So far, I like it. More Vern is Better Vern, maybe.

  11. No, please Vern, not you too. Twitter feeds into the worst of the ADD-generations technology addiction. Spouting meaningless snippets of nothing “I’m washing my face, feels good!” spelled in horrible internet syntax. I have faith that you will spurn Twitter.

  12. Ah shit, I forgot to write that I was washing my face. I’m really blowing the twittering so far. Just testing it out though jonnymack. Dabbling. Experimenting. So far doesn’t seem to be something I would do.

    Kind of embarrassing, too. I noticed the director of TORQUE somehow got on my “following” list. I was a big fan of his movie and now he knows when I have to take a pee. It’s amazing what they can do with computers these days.

  13. Nah, Twitter isn’t the Antichrist (Just way too overhyped at the moment.). Pretty much like everything on the internet, it can be useful or useless*. Depends on who is using it and how.

    *Except LOLcats. They are just useless. Why do they have to ruin these cute and funny pics of cats with unfunny captions in bad grammar? Why?

  14. Why do YOU have to ruin those unfunny captions in bad grammar with cute and funny pics of cats?

  15. Good Christ. What the hell is next? Some internet fad called “Doucheski” where all you do is respond in one letter code?

    “F” is code for I’m eating cheese RIGHT NOW!

    People actually do this twitter horseshit during movies? Shit, that’s grounds for a paddlin’. God forbid Christian Bale ever caught you with your hand in the Twitterjar during one of his films.

  16. Vern.

    I hate to say it but I’m disappointed. I remember you railing against the douche’s who walk around with their Bluetooth headsets on 24/7. Well, I hate to break the news to ya buddy, but Twitter makes Bluetooth headsets look like 80’s fax machines.

    Its bullshit. I love you, but I don’t give a flying fuck what you are doing every second of every day. You are motherfucking VERN. Leave us a little mystery or you’ll slide down into the cesspool of stupid dumbfuck critics who think the entire internet is their soapbox, and that they need to inundate us with not just reviews, opinions, obits, and rants, but now we have to read 40 word blurbs every thirty minutes about what the fuck they’re doing or thinking about?????? I don’t even care what my friends are doing or thinking about every second of the day.

    FUCK THAT. You are better then Twitter Vern.

  17. Twitter can be useful. I use it to gauge my news now. Whenever an entertainment site has a story or a review they tweet you a link and there you have it practically fed to you. That’s helpful if you love news and whatnot and don’t want to search AICN, CHUD, EW, etc.

    Then there’s people who are actually clever and will at least attempt to entertain. Diablo Cody comes to mind. Then there’s people like Kevin Smith that talk about tugging one out before bed or trying to convince his own wife to fuck him. I don’t like that… creeps me out a little bit. I do find it interesting to see what stars are friends with other stars and what they actually say though. It’s bizarre. Devin Faraci actually reposted something that was basically Dane Cook being turned down by Evan Rachel Wood. I enjoyed that, but I stopped following Faraci because he bitches about every possible fucking thing movie related or not. I don’t need to hear that either.

    In closing, Twitter is what you make of it and you can control the info you receive.

  18. Another problem is I don’t have a “Blackberry” or whatever so let’s say I did want to report that I was taking a shit, well my keyboard is all the way on the other side of the apartment. So I am not really equipped for that kind of thing yet. I have not caught up with the technology.

  19. Vern,

    I’m liking your recent ‘coverage’ of comic-con. Please let us know more details on that ‘Family Circus’ panel!

  20. I’m gonna start all my messages to Vern “Dear Webmaster” now

    Sincerely,

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