I'm not trying to be a hero! I'M FIGHTING THE DRAGON!!

How’s this for an unexpected team-up?

The Mad Dog and the Latin Dragon:

maddog-latindragon

The news comes in an Indiewire article about 2 new Indonesian action films in the works from the producers of THE RAID:

“ONE GOOD THING will star [Yayan] Ruhian and Marko Zaror as a mob enforcer and a policeman who reluctantly try to protect a young girl caught between rival gangs warring with a clutch of dirty cops. MACABRE filmmaker Kimo Stamboel… is set to direct.”

VERN has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the books SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL, YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER!: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS and NIKETOWN: A NOVEL. His horror-action novel WORM ON A HOOK will arrive later this year.
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175 Responses to “How’s this for an unexpected team-up?”

  1. I’m for it.

    I hope no one speaks the same language in this ONE GOOD THING movie. No subtitles, no dubs, no sign language — I want a feature length clash of exotic tongues, linguistic chaos. There aren’t enough action movies with utter Babylonian confusion.

  2. Unrelated news that would go into PotSeagalopouri if I could load it:

    http://jackiechan.com/news/1892882–Jackie-Chan—-quot-I-Am-Not-Retiring-From-Action-Movies–quot-

    karlos scared me there for a minute.

  3. That photo Jackie went with for that is awesome.

    On the subject of the actual post- YES! Having just seen “The Raid”(just The Raid) today and Merantau last week, I loved this guy and thought that he should be the new Al Leong in the west. I assume from the description that Ruhian is the mob enforcer, and Zaror is the cop? Where’s this set, as you’d think the other way round would make more sense if it’s set in Indonesia, demographics-wise.

  4. Knox Harrington

    May 19th, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    This is the best team-up since Archie Meets The Punisher.

  5. They could go the route of communication used between Johnny Hallyday and the Hitmen in “Vengence”, few common English words/phrases and the rest if filled in by the universal language of being a total badass out to fuck some people up.

    Hopes up and fingers crossed. If the film is weighted one way or another I guess I’d rather see Ruhian take the lead because he’s been fantastic in the only two films he’s done and I think the man has earned some spotlight. Not to take anything at all away from Zaror because I dig his batshit intensity, but he has been and will continue to get to be the main dude in many future films.

    If only Asylum Pictures didn’t suck because THE EXPLODABLES (all caps) starring the fellows above plus MJW, Matt Mullins, Lateef Crowder, Cyborg Santos, and maybe Bob Sapp could be a reality in this day and age is probably something they could be convinced to make. If only…

  6. Jareth Cutestory

    May 19th, 2012 at 7:48 pm

    And food, Marlow. They bonded over food.

  7. HO-LY SHIT!!! this is quite possibly the greatest contrast of height and diverse martial arts skills in buddy action movie history.

  8. Yeah, if you don’t consider Dennis Rodman a martial artist.

    And if you don’t consider MUAY THAI GIANT (not recommended at all, by the way) a “buddy action movie.”

  9. Gareth Evans on The Raid’s american remake and the original movie spawning a trilogy. Also mentions something relevant to Ruhian.
    http://uk.ign.com/articles/2012/05/19/gareth-evans-talks-the-raid-remake

  10. The Raid is so damn nihilistic, I’m having trouble seeing how it could possibly be remade in America. Granted, The Dark Knight was kind of nihilistic, and it made a ton of money. But without Batman’s popularity, I don’t see how an American film can possibly maintain the tone of the original film. I am excited to see where a sequel will go. Are they raiding other buildings? Maybe they will raid a boat this time (and hopefully the results are better than Speed 2). For the third film, they should take the lead from Die Hard 3 and raid an entire city (or at least a medium sized town). The possibilities are endless.

  11. Reminds me when Nic Cage was at one supposedly attached to a THE LIVES OF OTHERS remake. Of course how can a uniquely German (or Eastern European I suppose) story be directly transfered to America?

    Isn’t some idiot still trying to Yankee remake OLDBOY?

  12. What I wonder is…does it make sense to keep the martial arts in a THE RAID remake(assuming they are if Uwais is going to do choreography)? Lots of people knowing martial arts makes more sense in asian action cinema, as it’s a much more cultural thing. In America, not so much, plus I imagine there’ll be more of a cross cultural mix of different races making up the cops and the tennants, so even more disparity. So maybe they could make The Raid more worthwhile as a remake to approach the action more from what an american action movie do. More focus on guns and the hand to hand more raw and desperate?

  13. They should just take a mixed martial arts approach to the SWAT team in the American remake. Give everybody their own distinctive style of fighting. Some brawlers, some wrestlers, some boxers, some kickboxers etc.

  14. Hey Vern, sorry to go off-topic, but I’ve got an early Christmas gift for you. It’s a Steven Seagal cartoon:

    http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/82445833/

  15. This yet again completely off topic but I just introduced a friend of mine to Mesrine:killer instinct. Everyone I’ve shown that movie to has loved it. Are you ever going to do a review of Public Enemy? Maybe I missed it, but I don’t see one. Those two movies are 2 of the best gangster movies in recent years. Since gangster movies have died recently and the only widely released gangster movie I remember is the terrible Public Enemies, I think part 2 deserves the Vern treatment to get the word out.

  16. Broddie:

    Maybe even better than Ernie Reyes Jr. vs Dwayne Johnson:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pr88uA-attM

  17. BR Baraka – Man I really have to rewatch that movie sometime.

  18. Since this seems to have become the de facto new Potpourri, I’m gonna bring up the new Bond trailer and ask what everybody thinks. Since QUANTUM OF HUH? is considered the shakycam king and the primest example of how post-action filmmaking can ruin even the surest of things (although I personally didn’t think the movie itself was that bad, once I gave up trying to see what was happening and just let it wash over me), I was heartened to see that the cinematography seems classical and restrained. In fact, I’m not sure I saw the camera move once. Fine by me. I’d rather see a static series of action tableaus than the swirling blob of motion soup we normally get.

  19. The Continental Op

    May 21st, 2012 at 9:23 am

    Mr. M – Agreed. This looks like a beautiful film, like Kubrick taking a shot at a pure genre film. Mendes is no great director, but he puts a lot of thought and care into his frame and picks the best DoPs. I reckon we’ll have a classic in our hands….

  20. Majestyk – do you have a link to the SKYFALL trailer? All I can find on YouTube are obnoxious fanmade trailers.

  21. Never mind. I found the trailer

  22. Yes the framing on a lot of the shots in that teaser was amazing. There are seriously some of the greatest imagery I’ve ever seen in Bond movies all over that teaser. I thought QUANTUM OF SOLACE was boring as fuck; took it self too seriously and was very unfocused. It had more problems than just the shitty action; but I’ll be seeing this one opening weekend for sure.

  23. It seems like Mendes is bringing some of his AMERICAN BEAUTY stylings to Bond. Everybody makes fun of the floating plastic bag scene, but its theme of “Beauty is all around us when you least expect it” is played out again and again in the cinematography of that movie. There are little bits of seemingly accidental art in the background of a lot of shots, like shafts of light made out of vertical blinds, sun-streaked windshields, etc., that seem to be mirrored in the psychedelic backdrops of the SKYFALL trailer. The Broccollis are always gonna keep a tight rein on the plot of any Bond movie, so Mendes seems to be using the increased budget as a chance to doodle in the margins and play with colors and compositions. I think that approach just might work.

  24. Looks interesting, and if I understand the trailer right, whatever SKYFALL is, it’s possibly something Bond was involved with before he got his Double O status.

  25. I somewhat enjoyed Quantum of Solace, despite the shaky cam stuff. Besides, some of that poor action filmatism marginally improved by the end of the film. I’ve always been lukewarm on Mendes (although I like a few of his movies quite a lot), and I thought he was an interesting choice for Bond. A lot of people have asked what a Mendes helmed Bond film would look like, and the teaser gave a surprisingly good answer. Some of those images are gorgeous. I’ve mentioned before that I have never been a huge Bond fan (although, I see some of the appeal), but the exception is without a doubt Casino Royale. That movie accomplished what a reboot needs to do, and then some. It is without a doubt one of my favorite films, action or otherwise, of the last ten years.

  26. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    May 21st, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    I’m a lot more invested in this news since seeing “The Raid”. Mad Dog was the most effective “physical threat” henchman I’ve seen since Wu Jing of “Kill Zone” fame (and I think it’ll take something pretty special to beat that guy). I’ve not seen a Zaror film yet, but Ruhian’s involvement looks good to me.

  27. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    May 22nd, 2012 at 8:49 am

    Any chance of another Potpourri thread somewhere? “Seagalogy” is broke. :(

  28. I’ve been using this one. I think as long as it’s not a post about a specific movie, it’s fair game for thread-jacking.

  29. Potpourri was dead and had the final chapter, it wouldn’t make sense for there to be another one. I mean, come on. But you have my permission to use this post.

  30. I see what people are saying comparing MSNBC to Fox. They’ve obviously turned it into left wing perspective news in response to the success of Fox. And I always thought Ed Schultz was too much like left wing Rush Limbaugh when I heard him on the radio. It embarrasses me when I come across his show, he does these call in polls and it’s always some topic like “Do you think the GOP has gone too far with blah blah blah” as if his viewers might say no. Keith Olbermann, when he was on there, was kind of cathartic to watch at first because of the times we were living in but quickly became unbearable with his fake outrage. Lawrence O’Donnell isn’t as bad but does the same stupid bullshit of pretending to misunderstand what some politician or pundit meant so he can launch into a self-righteous pseudo-Edward R. Murrow monologue about it.

    But I still think it’s one of those false equivalencies, because Rachel Maddow is not like that all. I always liked her on the radio (she used to have a show with Chuck D in the early days of Air America!) She is insightful, well-informed, intellectually honest and has a sense of humor. She brings a new perspective on things that I wouldn’t have thought of, she doesn’t go easy on Democrats but also gives them credit for things that other people don’t. Also I like on Fridays when she ends her show saying “3… 2… 1… PRISON!” because for some reason they show nothing but prison documentary shows for the rest of the night. I always think it’s weird when right wingers talk about her as some evil person, because she seems like such a nice, agreeable person. I might, she got along with Pat Buchanan.

    Also there’s this lady Melissa Harris-Perry who I always liked as a guest commentator and she has a show on Saturdays now, I would be surprised if that show was dumb enough to compare to Fox.

  31. I agree, Vern. Maddow definitely has her perspective but I can’t think of anyone on Fox that has a perspective (a far right one, because Fox) and comes off as intelligent and honest. I’m not even saying this as a big fan of hers (she, as well as many liberals, spend way too much time on gay marriage and that is an issue that really doesn’t matter at all compared to globalization, climate change, inequality, etc) but she’s not the problem.

    Even Ed Schultz, while a dummy who likes strawmen, isn’t near as bad as Hannity or O’Reilly. I mean, the worst he gets is just yelling stuff about fat cats while he points to factually accurate charts about income inequality.

    MSNBC and Fox News are probably most different during their “straight news” programs. Fox News is full of generic quasi attractive white women who are vaguely racist and dismissive of anything but accepted bourgeois or rural white culture, whereas MSNBC has a broader perspective.

    They both have their problems, they both have their pet stories that they’ll make big deals out of obnoxiously, but I doubt anyone has been a longtime MSNBC viewer and thought, “Man, it’s time for me to kill some bankers!” The same can not be said for Fox News.

  32. I agree completely with Vern, except I never found Olbermann unbearable. He’s just one voice. I think people become irrational in their opinions of Olbermann because they assume his eloquence & presentation style is supposed to make him more than one person, and they conflate him as an individual with the idea of all that he & like-minded liberal political minds represent, so they become offended on behalf of an entire intellectual class instead of directing their disapproval solely at Olbermann himself when he oversteps his bounds in the viewer’s expectations or comfort level. He’s extremely passionate, and I usually find it genuine instead of blowhard-y as many claim.

    The Rachel Maddow Show is superb tv journalism. Very insightful and informative.

    The tragedy of the cable channel that calls itself “Fox News” is that those guys occasionally make a good point, occasionally have a legitimate beef with “the other side” or some perceived slight toward right-of-center Americans, but the entire enterprise regularly consistently destroys its own credibility with constant lies and manipulations. No other major news outlet does that.

    I think Rev. Sharpton’s show is usually a joke, and I refuse to listen to one more second of Ed Schultz’s ramblings (How the fuck did that idiot get the 8 o’clock slot?), but it’s a massively false equivalency to compare them as mirror images of Hannity & O’Reilly on Fox, and Laura Ingraham, Erick Erickson, Dana Loesch, etc. in other forums.

    And Fox News has Karl fucking Rove on their payroll. That’s grounds for boycott right there. Christ.

    And MSNBC’s morning show is led by a conservative-to-moderate Republican. That’s at least 15 hours of conservative viewpoints on the air every week.

    And when Fox News does shit like this: http://mediamatters.org/blog/201203160013
    they’re actively making their viewers more stupid. And they’re actively doing something that is supposed to lead to worse energy policy and more confusion among American voters. And they’re doing shit that harms the planet, marginalizing the issue of climate change by focusing on the issue of the price of gas. They take what should be, according to science and reason, a debunked minority view, and they make it a 50/50, left-vs.-right view because they lie about things like gas taxes and scientific consensus.

    And when they do that and get high ratings, that encourages CNN, for example, to do the same thing, except CNN does it for the sake of having Talking Head A spar with Talking Head B because that’s what they consider “balance,” no matter who’s actually correct. It always must be about left vs. right because otherwise they will be accused of some kind of bias and because they have to manufacture an argument to compel us to watch and take sides (ya know, spending hours dissecting poll numbers (which costs nothing to producers) rather than, say, doing real journalism or reporting from abroad (unless there’s a royal wedding, of course), cuz that’s expensive and doesn’t always present a combative they said/they said narrative).

    It’s dishonest, shoddy, harmful, and impossible for me to support or allow into my living room. It’s not news. It’s not journalism. It’s disgusting. It’s anti-intellectual.

    Yeah, the Melissa Harris-Perry show is pretty good. And Up with Chris Hayes too.

  33. At the end of the day the main difference between left wing and right wing media are their agenda – hidden or otherwise. And in my book being against racism, against war, against fascism, for the environment, for equal rights for women and gays and for a more fair distribution of wealth will always triumph over the quasi religious, slightly racist, war mongering, gay and women bashing, survival of the fittest millionaire hate project they’ve got going on over on the other side.

  34. Oh yeah, MSNBC has a good war correspondent too. I forget the guy’s name, but that’s because he never gave away troop locations or said he was gonna bronze bin Laden’s head.

  35. “Potpourri was dead and had the final chapter, it wouldn’t make sense for there to be another one.”
    You could reboot it for the hip, modern audience of 2012.

  36. Or create POTPOURRI GOES TO HELL or POTPOURRI’S NEW NIGHTMARE.

  37. You guys don’t seem to understand.

    Potpourri is dead. That was the *final* nightmare.

  38. I forget, did Vern ever do “THE Potpourri”?

  39. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    May 22nd, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    But they always come back. THEY ALWAYS COME BACK.

    Anyway, here’s what I wanted to talk about…

    “Prometheus” trailer. So ok, I’ve heard a little about this movie, not much. Based on the trailer I’d stay well away from it. It managed what it seemed like most trailers do to me these days – line up a whole bunch of soundbites that make the film look like the most cliche’d thing ever, and as well as that, apparently give away most of the plot, without ever showing me anything original that I could latch onto as a reason to spend my hard-earned cash on it. (People go into space, are attacked by aliens. This has never been done before!)

    I dunno… “Chronicle” had perhaps the worst trailer I’ve seen in recent memory, but I thought that film was great (although they definitely did give away too much in the trailer of that one as well). So I know you can’t always go by the trailer.

    But here’s the point I’m making… it seems to me that the very stuff that’s supposed to attract “casual” audiences to the cinema is the stuff that turns me off. Stuff that is supposed to instill a nice warm feeling of familiarity in your average audience member has me clawing my skin off because I’ve seen the same damn cliches about half a bazillion times before. Anybody else having this experience, generally speaking, or specifically with regard to “Prometheus” (I have no idea which way that one’s gonna go – masterpiece or waste of time)?

  40. Just call it Potpourri (2012) and make it seem like the first one, just like every other goddamn reboot.

  41. The PROMETHEUS trailer is the hottest trailer I’ve seen since FA5T’s. I don’t know what cliches you’re talking about, Paul.

    It is sad, however, that it’s being overplayed during the NBA playoffs and other small screen outlets. That’s killing the groove established by a badass pre-feature trailer at the cinema.

    The other thing that kills my soul every time I see it in previews these days is when they end with a Facebook/twitter/website plug. I’m still stupid enough to regard movies as an art form, so it hurts when I see some interesting imagery and get my interest piqued and then, at the end of this commercial that makes me want to see the movie and get lost in the art of it all, I see this stupid social media promotion that reminds me that it isn’t about the art at all. There’ll be this gritty, ultra-dramatic series of images and slo-mo stuff and that riveting ‘bwooonk, bwoooonk, whoosh’ music shit that all the big action movie previews have these days, then the narrator says, “Like us on Facebook.” What the fuck?

    It messes with my ability to go blank slate on my way into the theatre. I hate marketing. This is why I almost always avoid previews and avoid discussing previews.

  42. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    May 22nd, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    Mouth – just explosions in space, mankind meddling in stuff that it shouldn’t be, an alien lifeform of some kind that picks off the survivors one by one, a gloomy green-tinted spacecraft, a survival-horror-themed movie that is named after a figure of Greek mythology, an obvious “final girl”, and a few other things that I’m sure I could come up with given time.

    But it’s not so much the abundance of this stuff that bothers me – what survival-horror-themed movie DOESN’T have a “final girl” nowadays? They’re out there but they ain’t common – so much as the fact that I’ve now seen the trailer twice, in front of two different films (“The Avengers” and “The Raid”, if you’re interested) and for the life of me I couldn’t see a single original thing about it. It might be the best movie in the world for all I know, but the trailer just gives me nothing I can look to and say “DAMN that’s an interesting idea, I’d like to watch this movie”.

  43. Most trailers go out of their way to make the movie they’re advertising look as generic as possible. I try not to let a trailer influence me either way because I’ve seen enough YouTube videos to know that you can edit footage to seem like anything you want. But what are you gonna do? First impressions matter. But to me the worst offenders are comedy trailers. Now, I like to laugh. I have a sense of humor. Some people even say I’m hilarious. But I never, ever go see comedies because every single one of their trailers makes me want to gouge my fucking eyes out. There’s just no way to tell a good, smart comedy apart from a piece of shit fartfest when every trailer looks exactly the same, has the exact same beats, and uses what I can only assume are the corniest jokes in the movie. How am I supposed to get excited about a comedy when they all look equally terrible?

  44. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    May 22nd, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    I’m with you on the marketing bullshit though. Although what really, really gets my goat is having to sit through ten minutes’ worth of TV ads if you arrive early at the cinema. I’ve paid eight quid for a ticket plus two hundred quid for a small popcorn, and you want to sell me MORE stuff? Get on with the movie, fuckers!

  45. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    May 22nd, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    Majestyk – that’s EXACTLY what I mean. I think you hit the nail on the head with the “comedies” part – I don’t think I’ve seen a comedy film in the cinema for months and months, if not years.

    Meh, this is why I hang around here still. You can’t trust the marketing stuff nowadays (if you ever could). I probably wouldn’t have caught “The Raid” if I hadn’t have read so much about it here.

  46. “The PROMETHEUS trailer is the hottest trailer I’ve seen since FA5T’s. I don’t know what cliches you’re talking about, Paul. ”
    I’m excited about it too, even if it doesn’t turn out to be the Alien prequel it appears to be from the trailers(the theory among fans being that it’s the same ship they find in the first movie that gets activated here), though there there does indeed seem to be a lot of spoilers in it, though not really anything that gives too much away about what the aliens/lifeforms look like.

  47. The PROMETHEUS trailer goes to extreme lengths at trying to connect it to Ridleys ALIEN-movie. But is the connection legit? That is another matter. Still, I am actually looking forward to see this in cinemas.From watching the trailer I am actually not sure what I can expect of the movie.

  48. The greatest conservative triumph of the last couple of decades has been to embarrass Americans into thinking that just because different people have different opinions, all opinions are equally valid and deserve equal time and consideration. And to make matters worse, they’ve then convinced us that all topics have only two potential viewpoints. They’ve made us forget that being objective has to do with the truth, not people’s opinions. When you think that way, everything becomes subjective and it all just comes down to who can shout the loudest. Fie on that, I say. I have no problem at all with a source having a personal perspective on something as long as it’s well-supported by facts and presented reasonably.

  49. I think I really got interesting in Prometheus when I saw the viral video about Fassbender’s character:
    http://youtu.be/DOOJl5lWNfM

  50. Mr. Subtlety — Terry Eagleton once said that Bush was the greatest post-modernist for those very reasons.

  51. Stu, apparently Prometheus is set in the same universe as Alien, so if that isn’t the actual ship they came across in Alien it’s probably the same make & model (the Development section of the Prometheus wiki article has links to quotes from Scott and Lindelof saying it’s the same universe). But Scott has said he doesn’t want to call it a prequel because the story is too independent–an analogy I saw someone make is that although Captain America takes place in the same universe as Iron Man and features Tony Stark’s grandfather, it wouldn’t make sense to call it a “prequel” because most of the story has nothing to do with Iron Man.

  52. felix said on the appropriately overweight and sluggish SEAGALOGY SPECIAL EDITION thread: “GI JOE: RETALIATION has been pushed back into March 2013 for a 3D Conversion. ”

    Really? Aw, man. I guess that’s it then. Summer’s over already.

  53. There’s still PROMETHEUS, Majestyk. And i am not giving up on THE AMAZING SPIDER MAN yet. Love how Emma stone looks in here.

  54. There are some movies that I’m not outright dismissing (I’m waiting for Vern to chime in on PROMETHEUS, but THE REPETITIVE SPIDER-MAN can eat a bag of arachnodicks) but nothing I’m dying to see. In fact, I mostly got movies that everybody else seems to be excited about but me. Sigh. It’s gonna be a long summer.

  55. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    May 23rd, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    Majestyk – apparently we have another “Alien” movie to look forward to. Because the twenty-or-so that came after the original two turned out SO well.

    I mean, I’d at least be excited about the talent involved here, but look at “Alien 3” and “Alien: Resurrection”. For the record I don’t think either of those films is as terrible as they’re frequently made out to be – I can watch and enjoy both, although neither is a patch on the original two movies – but the one thing they share is that both had a LOT of talent working on them. Unfortunately it didn’t seem to help much.

    I think – I’m not too clear on the history here – that there were financial setbacks, producer interference of the wrong kind, etc, that ended up working against both Alien 3 and 4. Dunno if that’s the case with “Prometheus”.

  56. You know what baffles the fuck out of me the most about the GI JOE 2 move to next spring?

    Why didn’t they already convert this fucker into 3-D? I mean Jesus in the summer movies now, non-3-D converted movies are the rare exception, not the norm. and Nolan got away with no 3-D for TDKR because he has WB by the balls.

    This is bullshit. I smell a cover-up, probably for a movie testing poorly somewhere and Hasbro shat their pants (especially in the aftermath of BATTLESHIP sinking) and they decided to recoup as much possible. Maybe reshoots? Maybe recutting?

    In short, Nolan deserves more and more props.

  57. Paul – You might be the only person in the history of the Net who blames ALIEN 3 on Fincher.

  58. Update on GI JOE 2’s move:

    “Apparently GI JOE RETALIATION figures already shipped. Will we see Slurpee cups and stuff in the coming weeks despite the delay?”

    https://twitter.com/devincf/status/205422998746963968

  59. I’m jealous of you motherfuckers who enjoy Nolan’s Batman movies, still have faith in Ridley Scott, and somehow think there’s the slightest chance of EXPENDABLES 2 not making you want to go on a stabbing spree. You’ve got a great summer lined up. I’ve got, what? PIRANHA 3DD? ABRAHAM LINCOLN: POST-MODERN WHATEVER? That Joseph Gordon-Levitt bike messenger movie? SAVAGES, I guess?

    I should just go see AVENGERS again. Stockpile that shit for the lean months ahead.

  60. “I should just go see AVENGERS again. Stockpile that shit for the lean months ahead.”

    Mr. Majestyk – Which is funny since Paramount gets 8 points off AVENGERS because of that termination deal with Marvel. So you’re giving money to the same people who fucked your summer.

  61. Also Mr. M, you’re in danger of venturing into Paul territory. Nobody is making you go see ALIEN 0 or ABE LINCOLN: BEARD or NOLAN MAKES MORE MONEY or whatever. Nor do you care, yet…

    Nah you’re not in Paul turf. Yet. Just a friendly warning from the neighborhood.

  62. Well, what are you gonna do? These days you can’t throw a quarter in a wishing well without The Man taking a nickel.

  63. Dude, I’m not planning to see them unless I’m monumentally bored. I was just pointing out what lame-ass movies I’m stuck with since the big event movies have left me behind. And these are the ones I think DON’T look terrible.

  64. I also want to be clear that I don’t begrudge you guys your awesome summer of cobalt-tinged grittiness. I just wish there was something for me to look forward to as well.

  65. Console yourself with this video of professional wrestlers beating up inanimate objects, including RETALIATION star The Rock attacking a mannequin head at one point:
    http://youtu.be/ghHcGQbvUvg

  66. I’m with Mr Majestyk. I seriously can’t name one movie I’m looking forward to this summer.

  67. Also, Kevin Steen is the worst. I’m baffled by why people like him.

  68. Mr. Majestyk – I know, I’m just messing with you. Meanwhile I have movies to go see this summer. Cherry O!

    Casey – Man you and Mr. M have it easy. I saw fucking BATTLESHIP today.

    Also yeah I don’t care for Steen either. Or Davey YOU SEEN ONE MATCH YOU SEEN THEM ALL! Richards.

    What the fuck happened to ROH?

  69. In Nerd Shit news, Peter Weller will be voicing Batman in a 2 part animated adaptation of Dark Knight Returns. I was hoping for Michael Ironside, but I’ll take it.

  70. Stu – Me too.

    I gotta say, the idea of Weller being Batman is just weird to me. But hey, it’s interesting weird in concept. The good kind.

    Of course I’m colored by the fact that I always audibly imagined a growl, corse voice behind that giant bulk. (I mean Miller basically made his Batman Clint Eastwood.)

    But hey I’m glad they’re (finally) doing TDKR for a toon movie adaptation.

  71. So…Peter Weller is re-teaming with Frank Miller after ROBOCOP 2???

    Also, GI:JOE:RETALIATION was just moved to March 2013 so that they can post-convert it to 3D, which is utterly retarded because they delayed the beginning of production so that they could decide whether or not to do it in 3D and they decided *not* to go 3D…in spite of having the best 3D filmmaker in the world (Jon M. Chu) behind the camera.

    Methinks Paramount is afraid of what happens when you put a Hasbro toy against a comic book movie. Or the film sucks. Hopefully the former.

  72. Tawdry – yeah I really think that BATTLESHIP’s recent sinking really caused some brown underpants over at Hasbro (and Paramount). Or its just fantastical coincidence that Universal’s biggest budget movie is also the most underwhelmingly unanticipated by the masses.

    Or/and maybe they looked at the June schedule and realized they’re sandwiched between PROMETHEUS and Spider-Man, with other distractions like Adam Sandler’s new comedy, ROCK OF AGES*, ABE LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER, etc.

    *=Oh God, my Mom just emailed the other day saying she thinks that looked good. When I saw that trailer, what stuck with me is Catherine Zeta Jones the head leader of some evil white GOP people trying to stop hair metal. Really? Did they ever exist to that large extent? That’s silly. Didn’t that shit at best extend to secret satanic messages and Prince cursing on his records and “Darling Nikki” and all that?

    Now if this was 1987 and its a rap musical, I would totally buy that shit legit. (The FBI did send a letter of warning to NWA after all.) I’m sorry Hollywood, but we really really really need a rap musical of the late 80s, that Golden Age.

    Coming soon: RAP OF AGE. (say it fast 3 times!)

  73. This GI JOE thing is pissing me off. Not just because I was looking forward to seeing the movie next month, but because I would’ve been even more excited if they had let Chu shoot it in 3D. In a Hollywood where most of the major directors are willing to shit out an audience-insulting fake 3D movie because it’s too hard to plan ahead and learn how to make a real one, here is a guy who actually knows how to do it really well, and they wouldn’t let him, and now they’re pretending they did! I mean I know it’s a sequel to a shitty movie based on a toy, but they got us interested by choosing the right director and cast and we all seemed to be on the same page here. Now they are openly saying that they need us to pay more for a ticket so they’re gonna put some fake blurry shit on it. It’s such an insult to the audience, the director and to the actual artform of 3D movies, which they could actually make money on if they had any respect for.

    And then the other thing is that this seems to prove that in asking the question “Why didn’t the movie we made based on a board game fail?” the answer they have come to is “we didn’t put fake 3D on it.”

  74. Yeah, this quote just went up on Hollywood Reporter, from an interview during South by Southwest:

    Jon M. Chu: There was a point where we were talking about it when I first came. It seemed like a natural thing, but I told them, “I know 3D. This is what we need. If we’re going to do 3D, we’re going to do it right.” It had a certain price tag to it, and I was like, if you guys are down I’m down, but I do need more time to do it right. And they were about to do it but they cut it just a little bit short, and [I said,] “if you guys are going to cut it short there is no point.

  75. RRA, metal was more popular than Rap then. Read about Tipper Gore and her assault against metal. Dee Snyder, of all people, testified in Congress about it and did awesome.

  76. I actually visited the editing bay of Battleship last year and the subject of 3D came up. Everyone in the room was happy that 3D wasn’t being used, and the woman from the studio actually stopped to ask us *why* not being in 3D was a selling point for us.

  77. I think 3D is a pyramid scheme that is going to collapse on the studios. Pulling a tent pole movie out of a June slot for this is historic. I mean, TITANIC was delayed from summer but because it actually wasn’t finished. Now a completed movie won’t necessarily stick to its committed date.

    Tawdry, that’s interesting the studio reps weren’t aware people prefers 2D. That goes back to the AVENGERS screening where the glasses broke. They created a problem forcing a format nobody wanted to see anyway.

    I wanted to see Bruce and Co too and the ninjas on the mountain too.

  78. No. They knew. They just wanted someone to explain to them why. Oddly enough, I think I pointed out that Step Up 3D was pretty much the only worthwhile 3D movie I’ve ever seen.

  79. Totally off topic, but does anyone know where I can get a reasonably priced pair of Doc Marten’s? Or any websites that sell vintage (not the inferior faux-vintage, but actual vintage) 1460 Doc’s? I had a great pair that I found in a consignment shop while on a road trip, but it turns out that even Doc Marten’s can’t survive more than about 2 years of 7-10 miles a day walking. I tore ’em open.

    I found one place where I can get a nifty pair of patent leather DM’s for 70 bucks including shipping, but I really prefer to not buy slave labor products, so a (lightly) used pair from back when they were made in England would be real keen.

    Anyone got some advice?

  80. Sternshein – Damn you’re right. I forgot all about that. Thanks.

    “and the woman from the studio actually stopped to ask us *why* not being in 3D was a selling point for us.”

    Tawdry – knowing how civil I am, I would’ve quipped asking why her keeping her job was a selling point for us.

    Fred – It looks that way.

  81. New ABRAHAM LINCOLN VAMPIRE HUNTER Red-Band Trailer:
    http://uk.ign.com/videos/2012/05/24/abraham-lincoln-vampire-hunter-red-band-trailer
    Looks suitably gory and not plagued by post-action. Love seeing Abe twirling the axe like some sort of Wushu hero. Find it funny though that the actor seems to be channelling Liam Neeson with the voice, given Neeson’s prior involvement in the Spieberg Lincoln biopic.

  82. Regarding GI JOE, I almost admire the honesty here: yes, we simply want more money from you and we have a way of getting it, with a minimum of effort.

    It has utterly killed my interest in this film, and, like a lot of people on here, I was looking forward to seeing it.

    But after this? I’ll maybe – maybe – catch it on TV. For free. And in 2-D.

    In a way, maybe it’s inevitable, now that toy companies are calling the shots. Truly, any artistry here is dead.

  83. Stu – I can’t wait for the sequel in FDR: HULK.

    ~ Hitler smash!

  84. Can we get Bill Murray to reprise the title role?

  85. I watched OVER THE LIMIT< the other day and was quite pleased at what I witnessed. Best match was most definitely the Daniel Bryan vs CM Punk.Pretty epic. I am also satisfied with what they did with the main event; Cena vs John Laurenitis. Instead of treating it as a serious matchup, they went with something that can be compared to the Bret "The Hitman" Harts bashing of Vince McMahon but with a twist. I was watching it with a friend and we laughed our asses of. The humiliation Cena put Laurenitis through was funny and the twist at the end was interesting. Damn! The latest pay per views has actually been good. First, the best Wrestlemania in years and then Extreme Rules. Good shit.

  86. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    May 24th, 2012 at 10:27 am

    RRA – wait, where exactly did I say I blamed Alien3 on Fincher? There were MASSIVE publicised problems with the production of that picture. Not everything can be laid at Fincher’s doorstep.

    I think I’m more inclined to go easy on him than most people, actually, because there can’t be many people who are bigger “fans” of Fincher than I am. I’ve seen pretty much every film he’s ever released in the cinema since I was twenty years old. (Which is unfortunately a long time.)

  87. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    May 24th, 2012 at 10:44 am

    Oh and for the record: 1) I’m one of the few people, it seems, who didn’t think “Alien 3” was irredeemably awful, and 2) I know almost nothing about the making of it and I STILL know that there were production issues there.

    GI Joe 2: are they seriously saying this movie could be sunk, or at least put into delayed-release-hell, because the producers wouldn’t stump up the time / money for the thing to be shot in proper 3D? Holy fucking shit that sucks. (And I’m not just saying that because I’d no more stump up the extra money for 3D than “upgrade” to blu-ray.) I would’ve paid to see that damn movie, albeit in 2D, in the cinema.

  88. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    May 24th, 2012 at 10:55 am

    Although just having read this:

    http://www.aintitcool.com/node/55968

    I guess they’re saying that there’s more to it than just the 3D thing. Personally I don’t give a crap, I just want to see the movie, if it’s good, in a cinema, in 2D, at 2D prices.

  89. Paul, after reading that and some other bits and pieces it would appear that there is more going on here than is being admitted to.

    The Rock has said today that re-shoots are going on, or as he puts it, they’re “designing new scenes to enhance 3-D”.

    Taken with the supposedly poor reactions to test-screenings and the studio apparently wanting more Tatum, it looks like the 3-D conversion angle does indeed seem to be something of a smokescreen.

  90. Something else to consider is that this puts the release date for the new GI JOE film within a week of Wrestlemania and I am sure the Rock will be part of Wrestlemaina again next year. The studio could be trying to piggy back off of all the exposure the Rock will be getting at that time.

  91. Charles -I don´t know. I believe the whole deal of the recent Wrestlemani was pitting Rock vs Cena. I have yet to see The Rock make an appearance on the WWE shows so I doubt if that plays a part in future WWE endevours. Seems like the guy was in it just for a Wrestlemania match,thass all.

  92. ShootMcKay, the Rock is under contract to be a part of the next Wrestlemania. He will never make regular appearances on WWE TV expect to build to a PPV, but he is under contract to return. My guess is we will see him again around Summer Slam.

  93. Well thats good news, since Cena made him look shit on Wrestlemania. I mean Cena of all people!! Jesus Christ! Cena was the superior part on Wrestlemania, that never happens. That guy can hardly take a single hit without passing out. I was a bit peeved watching Cena handing it to The Rock and still The Rock beat him. Most wrestlers can handle Cena it seems, but still The Marine takes out the trash.
    But I have to say after the latest pay per view, Cena has earned more respect. He was funny as hell when humiliating “Big Johnny” and Big Show as villain? Big Show cannot handle a cup of coffee, the guy is completely uncharasmatic and is a big fail as a heel as far as I´m can tell. I´d root for Cena big time att next PPV.

  94. I disagree that Big Show is uncharismatic, though his talents at being a compelling personality do lie more in being a face. His size alone makes him more naturally a heel though, as any victory over him by a smaller guy does look impressive. His turning on Cena was sadly very predictable though from the moment they announced the stipulations of the match.
    BTW, ROH put one of their Bryan/Punk matches on youtube:
    http://youtu.be/9-A-VyaUIGk

  95. Stu-now that you mention the stipulations. It was something that occured to me watching this weeks Monday Raw. That anyone involved on behalf of “Big Johnny” being fired that whole thing?

    I guess it was kind of obvious if you think about it,considering that Big Show WAS fired before the PPV. But I am someone who do not take too much time considering things that concerns WWE. But, you are right, if you think about it; not too shocking of a twist.

  96. ShootMcKay, this is why the Rock has not been on WWE TV:

    http://badassdigest.com/2012/04/26/you-do-not-want-to-smell-what-the-rock-is-cooking-in-this-pain-gain-pic/

    The Rock teams up with the guy that made THE ROCK, I hear the sounds of cash registers (if cash registers even make sounds anymore)!

  97. I guess as we speak someone tries to come up with some witty remarks about The Rock reaming up with the director of THE ROCK. “Can you smell what The rock is cookin´”?

  98. Seriously,guys! What are your opinions on OVER THE LIMIT?

  99. I didn’t catch OVER THE LIMIT, but I did see EXTREME RULES and I thought it was one of the best WWE PPVs in years. I still follow wrestling, but compared to the 80’s & 90’s the talent pool is pretty thin these days and the WWE’s monopoly on industry has also hurt the product.

  100. With G.I.JOE 2 punted, Fox has moved up TED two weeks to 6/29. And I guess I’m the only local asshole who might actually want to go see that. Which is odd because I don’t care enough about Seth McFarlane.

    Maybe it’s that white trash name checklist scene from the trailer that maybe won me over. Jesus as a East TN resident, that was like reading the fucking phone book.

  101. Why is PIRANHA 3DD only opening in 75 theatre next week?

  102. Only a small percentage of Americans are prepared for the unbridled horror of Gary Busey’s smile in 3D.

  103. “Something else to consider is that this puts the release date for the new GI JOE film within a week of Wrestlemania and I am sure the Rock will be part of Wrestlemaina again next year.”

    Charles – the WrestleCrap forums probed that theory, and I have one problem with that logic.

    How many people outside of IWC and wrestling fans care about Wrestlemania? Sure it would be Rock ad hoc free advertising to the wrestling fans, but I think its the same #s who would’ve seen it next month.

  104. Oh and Gary Oldman has signed on for the ROBOCOP remake as the scientist who created Robo.

    You know, I’m actually rooting for that remake.

  105. RRA, Wrestlemania did over a million buys. More than just wrestling fans watch WM.

  106. RRA, I am not saying it is a sound marketing strategy or that is why they moved the release to that date, but I doubt it is a coincidence that they moved the film so close to Wrestlemania. The reality is that the 3D treatment is most likely an excuse to cover up extensive reshoots after the film tested poorly at early screenings. If they were going to push the film’s release date why not move it to a time frame that would allow them to piggyback on whatever media attention the Rock is receiving heading in WM. It is free publicity.

  107. That is over a million buys at like $50 to $60 a purchase, and that number does not account for the people that did not purchase the event and stole it from the web or watched it at a friends house. WM is big money and a huge part of the WWE annual revenue. WM is to the WWE’s business what Christmas is to the retail industry.

  108. Charles – well shit, you’re right.

  109. Shoot- I did enjoy OVER THE LIMIT overall. Something that’s really surprised me is how good a wrestler Layla’s been since she returned. I wouldn’t mind her and Beth continuing their feud.
    I also got the MACHO MAN 3 Disc Set recently due to the uk distributor Silvervision doing a massive sale because their ending their partnership with WWE for some reason. Really like the set so far. Sadly it’s just collection of matches presented by a couple of hosts and not a proper Documentary thing, but I understand Macho’s relationship with the company was a bit contentious for whatever reason, but it’s still very complimentary. Have to say though, having seen Steamboat/Savage at last…I found it a bit overrate. Don’t get me wrong, it was a GREAT match, but “possibly the greatest match in history”? I found it a bit short to really think that.

  110. Personally I don´t really care much for the divas. Unless WWE decide to give them actual personalities and storylines they are nothing more than eye candy for the audience. The little amount of time the divas get certainly is proof of that.

  111. I was actually in the crowd for Over the Limit in Raleigh – I really enjoyed it. Punk/Bryan and the Fatal 4-way were great, but what stood out for me was how much people supported Christian during the opening battle royale. As far as I know, he was a bad guy when the match started (I don’t watch Smackdown) but all they needed to do was have two other bad guys team up on him, and boom – instant good guy. The crowd went crazy as he fought for his life, and he got a HUGE pop when he won. It was a great exhibition of basic underdog pyschology.

    Strangely, the crowd was DEAD during the actual one-on-one match he had later. I couldn’t remember a thing about it.

  112. I did think the crowd were a bit awfull for the show. There was actually a “Boring” chant during the Punk/Bryan match at one point. The fuck?

  113. I liked OtL but thought Bryan v Sheamus at Extreme Rules was better than Bryan v Punk. I used to be a big Punk fan but he’s boring me lately and his matches against Bryan and Jericho have done nothing for me.

    I kept hoping for Laurinaitis to drop an Ace Crusher on Cena, but no we got more of Cena being a bully. Hell, I’m okay with Cena but he’s gone off the rails in that feud. It could be a chance for character growth: he lost against Punk at MitB because he got distracted, he lost against Rock because he was cocky, and he toyed with Big Johnny so much it let Show interfere. Maybe he should just become the fucking Prototype again?

    At this point I really only watch for Bryan and all the other heels. Fuck Punk, Orton, and the rest.

  114. Oh man, Stu – I didn’t hear the “boring” chant for some reason. The crowd seemed really into the Punk/Bryan match from where I sat. My friend, who’s kind of given up on wrestling, and only watches sporadically, was shocked that WWE would let Bryan and Punk have an old school, methodical, technically based match that didn’t devolve into garbage-y high spots. Hopefully they won’t put much stock into the “boring” chants and make them do a more gimmicky type match next. (even though, i’m a sucker for gimmick matches)

  115. That whole “Don´t be a bully, be a star” promo bullshit is kind of hypocritical. Bullying people is more or less a WWE trademark.

  116. “Oh man, Stu – I didn’t hear the “boring” chant for some reason.”
    It was only a few people and not very loud, but even so, I was a bit shocked.
    “That whole “Don´t be a bully, be a star” promo bullshit is kind of hypocritical. Bullying people is more or less a WWE trademark.”
    It was funny when they did a video package about them visiting a school for the campaign, due to who they sent:
    Mark Henry (a character known last year for beating people up then breaking their legs with a chair)
    Alberto Del Rio (makes fun of poor people)
    Sheamus (kicked a ref in the face because he didn’t like his officiating)

  117. Stupid countries with their stupid flags….I hate them!

  118. Jareth Cutestory

    May 25th, 2012 at 8:58 am

    Majestyk: Not looking forward to STEP UP REVOLUTION?

  119. As much as I enjoyed STEP UP 3, I am not prepared to spend actual money to watch dancing, particularly dancing filmed by an untested director. I will wait for a review from Mouth, our resident expert on the manly arts of popping and/or locking.

  120. Jareth Cutestory

    May 25th, 2012 at 10:21 am

    The thing I’m looking forward to most this summer is seeing Vern’s “Bruce” icon on his review for MOONRISE KINGDOM.

  121. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    May 25th, 2012 at 11:19 am

    Just read the spoiler-free review of “SIGHTSEERS” on AICN by Capone. By the guy who did “Kill List”. Just when I needed a new “movie to watch out for this year” to replace GI:Joe 2. If Nolan and Wheatley can perform to the standard I’ve seen of ’em so far, this is gonna be a good summer.

  122. Some Marvel movie news notes.

    Enchantress is the villain in THOR 2, with her partner the Executioner/Skurge to be played by Mads Mikkelsen. Which is interesting because unless I’m wrong, Mads originally at one point was supposed to play Loki. Nice to see another Scandinavian actor join that shit. I expect mega acting from him and Hiddleston. (Those fangirls will get Nic Caged.)

    Jon Favreau is in IRON MAN 3. That situation is unique in Hollywood I suppose, right?

    Rumors published online from Cannes were that Ant-Man is that summer ’14 movie, its just the “when” timing to make that announcement. (Comic Con?)

    Some viral marketing put out for AMAZING SPIDER-MAN like this: http://www.comicbookresources.com/assets/images/articles/1337702578.jpg

    Oh and not Marvel, but The Rock is linked for a LOBO movie. Actually makes sense. I hope they let him have his ridiculously amusing (if stupid) spacetraveling motorcycle.

    karlos – Damning comments indeed.

    Also I’m certain I’m not the only one who’ll say that I’m rooting for an Arnold comeback.

  123. I wonder if given how AVENGERS ended

    SPOILERS IF YOU’VE NOT SEEN THE KAJILLION GROSSING MOVIE OF THE SUMMER

    will Loki be appearing wearing that gag over his mouth the whole movie? I can imagine the buildup to that coming off could be quite nicely executed.

    END SPOILERS

    Also on a Hemsworth related guys, I saw five minutes from the beginning of SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN on itunes and…I kinda like what I see? Both in terms of the story and the filmatism/art design. Should I be worried? I tried to look up more of the director’s work and found it’s his debut. I’m also personally pleased to see that Hemsworth is doing a scottish accent for the role. So far, the Kristen Stewart is the only thing I’m iffy on with this movie.

  124. Stu – I think what I’ve noticed with SNOW WHITE isn’t the movie, but the marketing so far has been concentrated it seems on either Charlize Theron or Stewart. (And for some reason, Theron is getting more coverage even though that sounds absolutely silly considering this is being sold to young women, not older audiences.)

    Surprisingly I would’ve thought after AVENGERS, Universal would use that and bring up to the point of annoying redundancy that Hemsworth in the movie. If I remember right, a Fandango poll back in late April asked both sexes what movies this summer they most wanted to see. Women voted SNOW WHITE, followed by AVENGERS. (Men picked AVENGERS #1*) Of course those two movies in blonde common…

    Of course what do I know? I get so much wrong. I mean look at BATTLESHIP, obviously Universal knows what they’re doing. (Even though to be serious here, the advanced word I’ve heard on it was rotten. But so was MEN IN BLACK 3, and reviews have pleasantly been decent on that one.)

    *=Which surprised me for I thought it would’ve been TDKR.

  125. Jareth Cutestory

    May 25th, 2012 at 8:38 pm

    The Rock is going to play Sheriff Lobo?

  126. So what do you guys think of Flashpoint? I just saw it on Netflix Instant and I’m not sure what to think. The characters were definitely interesting, (i like the marching-band badass juxtaposition scene), and I like the Heat-style good guys/bad guys format. But man, was this a LOONG 87 minutes. It seemed like the time in between action scenes was interminable, and though the fight at the end was great, it was too little too late.

    I’ll have to admit it’s an incredible looking film, especially in HD. The colors pop and it looks more like a Bruckheimer or Michael Bay film than the typical Hong Kong fare. Plus the use of MMA-inspired moves was great. I just wish the movie as a whole was better.

  127. Everything you just said about FLASHPOINT is exactly how I felt about KILL ZONE (minus it being an incredible looking film. It was just your basic blue action movie), so I’ve been putting off FLASHPOINT for years. Looks like I made the right call. I love the IP MAN movies but maybe contemporary action just isn’t this Wilson Yip guy’s forte.

  128. Jareth – You’re the 4th person I’ve seen online tell that joke.

  129. Jareth Cutestory

    May 26th, 2012 at 9:21 am

    KILL ZONE has a couple of good fights with an incredibly spry Sammo Hung, some fun morality-based melodrama, and a cool supporting cast (particularly Simon Yam). FLASH POINT is always going to pale beside that, though I wasn’t as bothered by Yen’s attempt to play a hard-ass as some viewers were. It’s certainly not a waste of time, unlike this one Jackie Chan movie I saw that was in the Action section of my video store but could more accurately be described as TWO MEN AND A BABY THAT PROJECTILE SHITS ALL THE TIME.

    RRA: Just 4 of us made that joke? That doesn’t bode well for getting together a grassroots BRING BACK SHERIFF LOBO campaign.

  130. Jareth – Take comfort. First time I read that joke, I was startled in a pleasant way. Then again and again. I only visit a handful of websites/boards daily, so I suppose hundreds if not thousands if not millions have cracked that joke.

    And god, that Jackie Chan baby movie I saw that. I know he wants to be the “Asian Robert DeNiro” (his words), but that’s not the way to go.

    What a random weird dark teasing ending for what mostly was a mindless comedy actioneer.

  131. Jarreth and RRA I loved ROB-B-HOOD. No idea what that title means but it shows that old Jackie can still create clever fights in a generic plot with some laughs.

    I had the same reaction to KILL ZONE though and been meaning to revisit it after the reviews on this site illuminated the badass nature of it. One course I have stacks of Chinese movies I want to watch, and comparable stacks of American ones, and review assignments. Yesterday I watched MAN ON A LEDGE, LETHAL WEAPON 3 and TERMINAL VELOCITY, all of which I’d love to discuss here.

  132. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    May 26th, 2012 at 3:35 pm

    Fred – ok I’ll bite. But before I do, let me throw this out there: in terms of recommendations I’ve got from this site, I rank “Kill Zone” right up there with the likes of “Blood and Bone” and “Universal Soldier: Regeneration”. It’s that damn good. To this day, Wu Jing remains my go-to comparison for scary-as-fuck physical-threat henchmen in martial arts movies. Don’t get me wrong, I’m as fond of Sammo Hung as the next guy, but Wu Jing is what made the movie for me.

    “Terminal Velocity”… ah, I have a sneaking liking for this movie, which is basically “North by Northwest” if it starred Charlie Sheen as a cocksure flying instructor. James Gandolfini (I think? It’s a while since I’ve seen it) is memorable as the villain, and I liked the central plot of the guy being both framed for murder and targeted by the real murderer. I like Charlie Sheen as the guy everybody tries to target, who brings a nice bit of personality to what is basically cocky asshole thrown into a “downtrodden everyman” role. Actually it’s precisely BECAUSE he’s a cocky S. O. B. that his situation works – he finds himself out of his depth for what’s probably the first time in his life. Plus he gets his ass handed to him by a girl, which humanises him; when he could otherwise just have been an arrogant twat if everything had gone his way.

    “Lethal Weapon 3″… I know #4 gets a bad rep, but to me #4 will always be the worst of the “Lethal Weapon” movies. I give it kudos for the massive “Juggernaut” referencing at the beginning, but even so… it’s like a bad parody of a “Lethal Weapon” movie, and Travis is by far the weakest of the series’ villains. Plus Joe Pesci – who managed to avoid completely ruining #2 by only being in it extensively for one long ten-or-so-minute section, which not coincidentally is by far the worst part of that movie – now in #3 takes his place as a “series regular”. Yuck.

    “Man on a Ledge” – for a moment I thought you meant “Man on a wire”. That’s all I got unfortunately, because I skipped this one after it got some pretty bad reviews.

  133. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    May 26th, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    Ok I meant… to me #3 will always be the worst of the “Lethal Weapon” movies. What a place for a typo.

  134. Terminal Velocity is lots of fun. It’s Deran Serafian’s second best movie (after sentimental favorite Gunmen) and it’s got a great, clever David Twohy script. Looking over his filmography, I think the one Twohy movie I actively didn’t like was Chronicles of Riddick. Considering I’ve seen 15 or so movies he’s written, that’s a hell of a batting average.

    Charlie Sheen I think can be under-rated as an actor, and he’s great and charismatic in this one. He keeps it light and I actually liked the romance angle- Kinski is reallly charming here. I like how she’s a superspy but still vulnerable and human – I’m sure a remake would Jovovich or Beckinsale her out. The final stunt with the car is worth the price of admission too. I think both this and Drop Zone got set up as the competing “Skydiving Movies” but neither one really featured that much skydiving, which some people might have been turned off by.

    I probably put LW3 thoughts in another post, but basically I hated it as a kid – The villain is weak, his backstory and evil plan makes ZERO sense. Pesci is annoying. The “Murtaugh shoots a kid” thing might have worked given proper build up, but as is, just seems undercooked and exploitative (yet has good intentions, if that’s possible). But suddenly, those final two action sequences (freeway chase and burning shootout) come roaring in, and holy shit, the movie got back in my good graces again. (It was also probably the first movie I saw with a closing-credit cookie, and it was a doozy). I revisited LW3 fairly recently and it wasn’t so bad. Decent afternoon TV watching, and that emotional scene with Gibson and Glover on the boat was one of the best scenes in the series. Plus it doesn’t have the “hilarious” racism of LW4.

  135. Fred, here’s my nitpicks about LW3’s villain that I wrote on IMDB back in the day:

    – his “origin” story makes no sense – the captain says he was a brutal cop who just DISAPPEARED while getting coffee on stakeout?? So was he just living “off the grid” the last few years? Did he change his identity or something? And good thing the LAPD doesn’t seem to worry too much about it’s cops possibly being kidnapped or dead or anything.

    – his master plan of raiding the police lockup over and over kinda goes out the window when he pointlessly shoots a cop for no reason and then leaves the dead body in the evidence locker. Not sure how he expected to keep this plan going after that.

    – he never really goes one on one with Riggs. I mean, he sorta does for two seconds, but when LW 1 and 2 end with great hand to hand fights (especially the first one), it’s a giant letdown. Then again, everyone and their mother kicked Riggs’ ass in this movie, so maybe it’s a good thing.

    – every damn line he says is a one-liner/pun. “we need a relationship we can BUILD on” “It’s a DEAD issue” “c’mon in, b**ch, the door’s open” “here’s your department funeral, Riggs!!” Who is he, James Bond?

    – Speaking of Bond, his last scene involving the bulldozer and the cop-killer bullets was fun, but was a total Bond villain moment, not a LW one, no? All i know is that if i was fighting Riggs who was knocked out cold surrounded by flames, i could come up with a few easier ways of dispatching him than jumping into a bulldozer and slowly trying to run him over.

    And by the way, anyone find it weird that Travis was supposed to be a huge badass on the LAPD but Murtaugh and Riggs never heard of him? Even Lorna, who’s freaking Internal Affairs doesn’t seem to know of him till the Captain plays Mr. Exposition to us. I think it would have made a little more sense if the heroes at least knew OF him, or if he was still an active dirty cop, at least for the beginning of the movie.

  136. Yeah LETHAL WEAPON 3 was one of those movies where the script was basically written on the fly, and too bad another situation when nobody had a decent idea for a sequel aside from the Russo stuff. (How many women are Stoogephiles anyway?) I wished a decent movie was actually written around that. Totally forgettable villain, Joe Pesci wasn’t needed for what was essentially a glorified cameo. And hell even the whole dead kid subplot just goes ABSOLUTELY NO WHERE. But the post-credit gag was great though.

    Even LW4, as messy as it was, at least it’s not embarrasing or make you feel like an asshole for watching it.

    Oh and thumbs up from me as well for TERMINAL VELOCITY, a B-actioneer that somehow got produced by Hollywood. I wished it wasn’t written hand-tied-behind-back as one, but I’ll admit the 1st half is fucking engaging with Kinski and all that mystery which seems rather ironclad. Good work. Ending shot of indeed that legless dog being trotted out was pure meta-random.

    Another one of those movies made by Hollywood when USSR went bust and since we didn’t have enough villains-we-all-hate, ex-KGB were used as substitutes until new villains come by. (Actually not really, more like we can’t really do great Russians villains because we don’t want to alienate that growing and more and more essential market for the movies.)

  137. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    May 26th, 2012 at 7:49 pm

    RRA – I think the big advantage of LW4 over LW3 – and I know there are people who HATE that movie, wasn’t it Mouth who posted a critique of it in another thread not long ago – is that even if it’s basically a failure, it’s not a boring one. LW3 to me is a predictable snoozefest. When it goes for humour it kinda works, but otherwise… the rookie who had his 21st birthday, there can’t be a single person who watched the first twenty minutes or so of that film and thought “Well HE’S gonna make it out alive!”

    And don’t underestimate the enduring appeal of the British as villains. I mean, if we’re not good for that, what the hell are we good for?

  138. “is that even if it’s basically a failure, it’s not a boring one.”

    Paul – it’s problem is simply that it was an unnecessary sequel and it never gets over that. It does hold some entertainment value. LW3 was just 100% irrelevant.

    “And don’t underestimate the enduring appeal of the British as villains.”

    Well actors are a chief industry export from your islands, so don’t worry about that.

    Way off-topic, but actually aren’t the real villains in Europe right now the Germans? I mean by luck, circumstances, and moves made in the past, Germany has EU by the balls. Seriously Merkel is the most powerful German head of state since you know who, and he’s down in Hell thinking “how the fuck did she do it?”

    I wonder when that local envy will creep into continental productions?

    “I mean, if we’re not good for that, what the hell are we good for?”

    Asides from supplying Hollywood with awesome actors?

    Tea, Doctor Who, football, Sherlock, Beatles and subsequent pop music which we rip-off*, Top Gear…damn I’m having a hard time of thinking more stuff that isn’t TV-related. Shit. Ummmm….your Navy?

    *=Which somehow stopped by the 1990s. Maybe its because rap dulled rock’s control of the musical industry and UK have been inefficiently unsuccessful in exporting their own rap stars (Both Blair/Brown and Cameron governments failed there).

    Plus maybe we saw Oasis back in the day and said thanks, but fuck no thanks we don’t want them. The only exception was the Spice Girls for the 5 minutes they were around.

  139. And when I mean “villains” in regards to the Germans, I don’t mean they’re evil or bad guys. I just mean they’re in position to kick ass and local envy/pissyness bleeds into anger.

    It’s not Berlin’s fault that Greek and Italian governments fucked up.

    If anything, UK in retrospect was lucky that their proud nationalism kept them from joining the EU fully or adopt that currency and all that as much as other governments have. (So I hate to say this, but…thanks Thatcher. Yeah damn you Greek/Italian governments.)

  140. British hip-hop has borne some interesting fruit. I happen to think Mike Skinner aka The Streets is pretty damn exceptional, especially his second and fourth records. Also, Lady Sovereign’s one major hit (Love me or Hate Me) represents Dr. Luke’s first mainstream success. He’s gone on to produce…well, everything, for the last couple of years.

    And speaking of unnecessary sequels that were filmed without screenplays; MIB3 is pretty spectacularly good and very, very influenced by Kurt Vonnegut. It really doesn’t make that much sense and there are holes all over the place, but it was a joyous experience for me to watch. I highly recommend it. It’s not really a turn off your brain movie, because all time travel stories are ridiculous, and if you can accept that central gimmick it’s a very good time. Thinking about it now, it really doesn’t hang together that well, but I didn’t notice it during the film, which is rare for me.

  141. Well, I loved LETHAL 3 for Rene Russo and some good action. Revisiting it I see where people feel it went wrong. Yet I still feel its a natural evolution for those characters and it still feels like Riggs and Murtaugh. Only now I can see when it’s not Russo fighting and I don’t remember her jeans being so awful.

    I was in denial for a long time on LETHAL 4, wanting so much to believe it was as good as I wanted it to be. The freeway chase is stellar but man, I can’t live a lie anymore. LW4 isn’t even Riggs and Murtaugh anymore. It’s just Mel and Danny doing bad improv comedy, Lorna’s become a pregnant hormone cliche and they add Chris Rock’s standup act.

    I actually watched 4 first since its the one I’d seen least recently. I maintain it would have been awesome if they really just left Jet Li on the dock at the end, but they had to go Hollywood and inexplicably beat him. There are hints of good ideas like Riggs feeling too old for this shit, but they just go into denial mode.

    TERMINAL VELOCITY holds up. Griff once mentioned how watchable ’90s movies are like ’80s movies and he’s right. It’s like they were all copying the Bruckheimer model, so even the cheap ones had a few crazy set pieces and a certain gloss, and you could always see what was going on. There are some shockingly bad effects, the worst one being Charlie Sheen’s head pasted on a magazine cover, pre photoshop. But the ideas are really trying to thrill you so I go with it.

  142. I love terminal velocity. Its a great hangover movie. Smart yet dumb enough where i don’t really have to pay attention to it. It was made during charlie sheen’s dark ages. Alot of movies that he made during those times are classics. Men at work, the chase, terminal velocity, etc. Great b movies.

  143. ThomasCrown442

    May 27th, 2012 at 1:05 am

    Doesn’t terminal velocity have Melvin Van Peeples in it? That alone earns badass points.

  144. I find myself watching LW3 and LW4 more than the first two, even though I have a nagging feeling with both of them that they’re both pretty bad. They’re just so easy to watch though! LW4 does seem to think we love the characters far more than we possibly could (especially Chris Rock’s character, who was introduced in the film!)

  145. All the LW sequels struggle to balance Gibson’s outdated, offensive humor and the sometimes good action. And #3 suffers the most, I think. The first one was basically a remake of Dirty Harry, and it worked because it’s target were grown ups. The rest are just so stupid that I really can’t watch them anymore.

    RRA, Italy and Greece didn’t fuck up. They were forced by the EU to fight way out of their weight class, something even I could have told them wouldn’t work in the long run. And when the shit finally hit the fan, did they get help from those who put them in that situation in the first place? No, they got bullied and threatened to take a deal so rotten it’s basically highway robbery. The EU is an empire that deserves to die. The best thing now would be if Greece grows a pair and says no to the euro. Then will struggle for a while, but they’ll feel better as a nation.

  146. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    May 27th, 2012 at 3:24 am

    Also Neal, that’s one good, detailed analysis. Of the kind I wouldn’t make because the film was neither bad nor interesting enough for me to properly work on tearing it a new one. The character of Travis was definitely one of the weakest parts of it though.

  147. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    May 27th, 2012 at 3:32 am

    RRA – stick with the TV-related stuff. Cameron and cronies have been doing their absolute best to dismantle our Armed Forces for years, with the sole rationale of keeping certain arms companies happy, at the expense of average-joe taxpayers like yours truly. It’s pretty sickening.

    But yes, I agree that the Tories haven’t managed to ruin “Doctor Who” yet (which is not to say that they won’t find a way). Not even Stephen Moffat’s obsession with turning every great new villain into “Another Alien That Speaks English And Wears A Suit”** hasn’t done that yet.

    (** I mean, seriously, giving the Weeping Angels and the Vashta Nerada voices. Who the fuck came up with that stupid idea?)

  148. I haven’t watched any of the LETHAL WEAPON sequels in years. This includes number 2 which by all accounts was the only good sequel. 3 was weird because of it’s pandering to the social crowd on how bad west coast gangs are for family and friends, some dumb subplot about Murtaugh’s daughter being an actress and Pesci hamming it up beyond tolerance levels. The action WAS sharp though.

    Part 4 I just remember being a really bad episode of THE COSBY SHOW with LW characters interjected into the script. Either way I rather not revisit any of those movies especially part 4 since I remember hating it a lot. The original still gets a replay every now and then. Some movies are like perfect storms and probably should’ve been left alone. LW is one of those movies.

  149. Broddie: The second one is still a classic. I know the story on the LW sequels is that they get more and more comedic, to their detriment, but give it a rewatch and I think you’ll be surprised at how hardcore it gets in the third act. That one is no sitcom.

  150. LETHAL WEAPON 2 kicks ass. A very satisfying sequel to a very satisfying movie.

    (Plus LW2 written/rewritten by the likes of ole Shane Black and Warren THE DESTROYER Murphy.)

    Come to think of it, I’m surprised Vern never reviewed REMO WILLIAMS. That would be a fun review.

    ~Ah REMO. If only we were all lucky enough to have racist sexist Korean kung fu masters like Chiun to whip our asses into shape.

  151. REMO WILLIAMS invented the eleventh commandment; Thou shalt not get away with it. That movie has so much wonderful shit in it I could hardly take it all in atv my first viewing. One of my favourites!

  152. I do not tolerate bashing of LW2, in any shape or form. The sequels after that however has some flaws I can see some people might either get offended by or just downright hate. Personally I have no room in my life for hate against any of the LW´s,only pure unquestionable love.

  153. BTW just read Cracked’s review of that El Santo movie and….I think I’m in love.

    ~I’m all for a Hollywood big budget el Santo movie. Our world desperately needs more happy, more pro wrestlers moonlighting as superheroes who fight vampires, hot women, mummies, and evil scientists.

  154. The actress thing started in LW2 with the condom commercial. I have a new appreciation for the ridiculous scene where Riggs busts her film shoot in 3 because it’s on Lankershim which I now know. Any local should get a kick out of seein Odyssey Video in the background.

    I’ll still defend 3. It’s lighter but it’s also about Riggs meeting a woman he doesn’t need to protect. The gang stuff is whitewashed. I mean Murtaugh’s son is soooo understanding. Travis is a generic villain but what do you expect, Scorpio? Sorry, I had to.

    Cosby Show is a great description for LW4. Anyway really appreciate this discussion over the long weekend.

  155. I’m with Shoot on this one. The logical part of my brain knows that the third and fourth LWs are largely indefensible, outside of the extremely well done action sequences, but I love them anyway. That series is so much a part of my DNA that I don’t know how to hate any of them, even the ones I know deserve it.

  156. Don’t get me wrong here LETHAL WEAPON 2 is indeed a classic. I didn’t mean to seem like I’m coupling it with the other sequels. As I said it’s the only really good sequel. I own all the movies but even though I haven’t seen LW2 in some time I willfully haven’t bothered to rewatch LW3 and LW4 especially in quite a while.

    They feel like skits with Riggs and Murtaugh playing a comedy duo and the occasional false pathos thrown in (“boo hoo I killed a kid”, “boo hoo I want to save immigrants”). Not much of a good time.

    Though the action is always on point. Some of the best action in the series is in LW3 and LW4 but everything else is pretty damn amateur when compared to the first 2. Especially the original since it had that genuinely effective mixture of action, drama, suspense etc. that the others tried to replicate to no avail.

    Even LW 2 has it’s contrived points with the diplomat’s henchman being the guy that killed Riggs’ wife but I digress. My point is at no point did I ever mean to make it seem like LW3 and LW4 are = LW2 nope that was just poor typing on my part.

  157. Michael Kamen’s music was good in all the movies though. They’re all worth owning for that as well as the awesome action scenes.

  158. LW3 has a fantastic opening song by Clapton “It´s probably me”. Really love that song.

  159. So I finally saw Alligator and it was pretty awesome. Robert Forster is awesome, and the John Sayles script managed to make old cliches feel timeless and classic. I mean, there’s a cop with a troubled past, a snoopy reporter, a police captain who yells at the hero the whole time, a brainy scientist love interest, and evil rich corporate guys. There’s also a Great White Hunter character and a (sorta) conspiracy. But it all feels charming and cozy, the same way how The Princess Bride has tons of familiar archetypes and situations but felt fresh yet well-worn like an old favorite you’ve seen hundreds of times before, even though you haven’t.

    My only complaint is it’s too bad Alligator looks like it’s about to get CRAZY about halfway through (with the titular creature bursting through the street) and turn into a freaking Godzilla/King Kong movie and then it basically just fizzles out with a half-baked climax. But oh well, I can’t wait to see Alligator II now (if I can find it).

    *Bonus points for the main girl in Alligator looking exactly like Lana Del Rey, plus you get to see her topless.

  160. I’ve seen ALLIGATOR II and it was so incompetent at times that I couldn’t find any way to turn it off. It’s been a few years now but I know I found it interesting enough in it’s cheapness to want to give the original a shot since it’s supposed to be better. I still haven’t seen the original though so there’s an idea for a future rental; thanks neal.

  161. I love ALLIGATOR. I think it’s Sayles’ best exploitation work, although a lot of the flavor came from Forster, who added the whole thing about his hair on the set. There’s a certain kind of 70s horror movie that his this cheerful, casual vibe to it. Absurd shit happens but everyone plays it laidback and natural. There’s a lived-in feel. These types of movies are usually at least partially about cops, who have more of an excuse to be world weary and use gallows humor when faced with monsters and murder than more inexperienced protagonists. I’m talking about movies like Q, BLOOD BEACH, BLACK CHRISTMAS, and GOD TOLD ME TO. Basically if Larry Cohen directed it or John Saxon is in it, there’s good chance it’s the kind of movie I’m talking about.

  162. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    May 28th, 2012 at 11:08 am

    So everybody loves LW2? Yep, me too.

    “Alligator” is going on my “to watch soon” list.

  163. Anybody read that new Empire article on TDKR? It says that movie will be Wally Pfister’s last picture as Cinematographer. He’s retiring in favor of becoming a director himself.

    Pfister has worked with Nolan on all his movies since MEMENTO.

  164. From the same EMPIRE piece (on sale 5/31), Nolan said this about the Superman movie:

    “”It’s Zack’s movie so it’d be a bit rude of me to turn up and say I’ve got a few ideas now,” laughs the director when talk turned to his involvement with Man of Steel. “My big point of responsibility was helping shepard David’s script. When I’m finished with this I’ll be there for whatever Zack wants from me, but it’s very much his movie.” ”

    Nolan: Don’t drop the ball Zack!

  165. I can’t believe this is a real movie.

    JERSEY SHORE SHARK ATTACK

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IHehF8BCuk

    ~William Atherton and Joey Fatone castings for the win.

  166. Shameful, shameless plug for a friend’s effort at kickstarting his movie [side] career:
    http://kck.st/MYSKgj

    I just found out about this a few hours ago, so I don’t know what exactly their funding & production situation is. Maybe a set visit is in order; I can become an executive producer or consultant or background extra or something. Chicks dig a guy with an official film credit, right?
    Hopefully we get an entertaining ninja movie when they’re done in a few months, but even if you don’t give them $ you might at least enjoy the trailer and some of the sidebar & pitch literature, like:

    **Today, Final Boss Home Video is the means to produce our first feature length film 100% independently and in-house. We are inspired by the action cinema of the 1980’s, from Die Hard, to Robocop, to Bloodsport. But we are also big fans of the obscure ninja action films such as Ninja Terminator and Mafia Vs. Ninja in the vein of directors Godfrey Ho and Robert Tai. We strive to create modern films that have the same spirit and “feel” as the obscure ninja films that were once available at your local VHS store.**

    Good to know the obscure ninja film VHS spirit still lives in 2012. If BARE KNUCKLE NINJA somehow becomes the next MANBORG or LAZER GHOSTS 2: RETURN TO LASER COVE, I’ll be ecstatic.

  167. I posted this in the forums already, but Deadline last night published an expanded/updated report on the GI JOE sequel move.

    http://www.deadline.com/2012/05/big-problems-behind-g-i-joe-2s-big-delay/#more-279104

  168. There’s no WILD BUNCH review to post this under, so RIP Ernest Borgnine.

  169. Fred – His death was the first thing I learned of when I woke up today. What a shitty way to start a day.

  170. Well 95 is a good life. I’m just happy to acknowledge him.

  171. 95’s a helluvan age to finally go. Dude was still working, still lucid, still dominating “Fox & Friends,” still happy from what I could tell.

    I didn’t much like RED when I saw it in the theatre, but Borgnine was fine in it.

    Somewhat coincidentally, in the last several months, I’ve re-watched THE WILD BUNCH, watched MARTY for the first time (It’s damn good.), and bittersweetly enjoyed his role in Sean Penn’s short contribution to that SEPTEMBER 11 (11’09”01) omnibus movie.

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