I'm not trying to be a hero! I'M FIGHTING THE DRAGON!!

Who’s the Man?

tn_whosthemankidnplayYou know how nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got somethin to say, but nothin comes out when they move their lips, just a bunch of gibberish, and motherfuckers act like they forgot about Dre? And this despite the widespread recognition of Dre Day, and everybody’s celebratin? Well, that must be tough for Dre, but it’s even worse for Dré.

Dr. Dre – title abbreviated, name spelled with an ‘e’, not an ‘é’ – is the famous producer/rapper, the genius behind NWA, discoverer of Snoop and Eminem, headphone consultant, Dr. Pepper advocate. He still produces, is still highly respected despite unleashing 50 Cent, appears on commercials all the time but somehow still has a mystique about him. He recently released a song from the album he’s been working on for ten years, so he’s on the cover of magazines and people are really believing it’ll come out in February. And plan to buy it. Most rap careers don’t last as long as just the time people have been anticipating this one album by Dre.

Meanwhile Doctor Dré – title spelled out in full, name spelled with a little wavy thing above the ‘e’ – you could definitely make a strong argument that motherfuckers weren’t acting, they sincerely had forgotten about that particular Dré. Best known as the rotund partner to Ed Lover (UNDISPUTED) when they co-hosted the weekday edition of Yo! MTV Raps for several years, he was also in the group Original Concept and was an early DJ for the Beastie Boys. Since he’d been Doctor Dré before or at the same time as Dr. Dre they both stubbornly held onto their names, but unfortunately for Dré he lost the battle for who could become best known (unlike Common, who dropped the “Sense” from his name but is still better known than the other guy under either name).

(You know what man, why can’t they compromise, like p.t. anderson and Paul W.S. Anderson, who both changed their names in order to avoid another George Miller/George Miller situation? That would be the honorable thing to do in my opinion.)

Please note HOUSE PARTY style yellow background
Please note HOUSE PARTY style yellow background

Well, there’s no Yo! MTV Raps anymore, and in fact all rapping is done by computers now, and the Original Concept CD sells for $85 new so I can’t find out if it’s any good, and DJ Hurricane and Mixmaster Mike have both become much better known as DJs for the Beastie Boys. But Dré still has one thing left: he has WHO’S THE MAN? on DVD. He and Ed Lover co-star and co-wrote it.

WHO’S THE MAN? is a comedy where Dré and Lover play “the worst barbers in Harlem,” who accidentally become inept cops and then have to figure out who killed their friend and mentor, Nick (Jim Moody, the dad in THE LAST DRAGON). I talked about how Kid ‘n Play have opposite personalities so they can work like a comedy team. Ed and Dré just have opposite sizes, but that’s enough. Fat guy/skinny guy = comedy team. Roger Ebert actually liked the movie and wrote, “there’s a good ear for dialogue, a nice comic rhythm, and performances by Lover and Dre which could quite possibly make them into a movie comedy team. The film seems ripe for sequels…My notion is that Who’s the Man? could turn out to be a star-maker.”

Well, I’m glad he liked it at the time. I bet he doesn’t remember it, though. The serious mystery part of the story is obvious and weak, and some of the comedy is worse (like the two scenes where they have trouble communicating with the Asian forensics expert Fuji). But the cinematography and what not is surprisingly slick. It creates this realistic atmosphere that clashes with the cartoonishness of the story and characters. It looks better than a dumb comedy like this is supposed to, and that kind of tricked me, I kept wondering if it was gonna actually be good.

dreandedThe story is your typical greedy-developers-threatening-idealistic-guy-to-make-him-sell-his-property type deal. Nick won’t sell the barbershop because he once cut Adam Clayton Powell’s hair there and he’s not about to leave the neighborhood to the crack dealers, even if they’re played by KRS-1 and Ice-T. I think it deserves a little leeway for taking place in Harlem, because the gentrification theme seems more vital there than pretty much anywhere else it could be filmed. But the way it’s written it still feels really generic and lazy. It might as well be about Mr. T trying to raise money to stop the community center from being shut down.

And it’s kind of weird that it’s all based around this premise of “what if these two dipshits accidentally became cops?”, because other than some donut jokes and a joke about putting hydraulics on a squad car they don’t really do much with it. They don’t learn any detective skills from the job, and they’re not actually supposed to be on this case, and they never arrest or shoot anyone, and they don’t even get to use the police car for long, and then they stop being cops before the movie’s even over. So I wonder why they weren’t just barbers going out for justice? They just would’ve needed a different explanation of how they got a soil sample tested.

I think their personas aren’t really too thought out either. They’re so terrible at cutting hair that everybody calls them “dickfingers” and says stuff like “I wouldn’t let those two brothers cut my taxes” and “I wouldn’t let them cut my grass.” They wear matching pajamas and watch The Beverly Hillbillies together and Dré is terrified of rats and Ed is always getting slapped by women for lying about sleeping with them and he might be a virgin and when they try to become club promoters their entire Naughty By Nature concert (audience and everyone) gets robbed at gunpoint. Then there’s kind of a serious story as they work on this mystery and they gotta do Serious Face alot. But it’s hard to take them seriously when they’ve been established as such buffoons.

Dennis Leary plays a sergeant who hates them and yells at Doctor Dré alot. It’s not as funny as I think it’s supposed to be, but I like the idea that it infuriates him to see a dude calling himself “Doctor” when his brother had to save up his money, go to school and work really hard for years to earn that title.

By this point Kid ‘n Play were mainly actors. Their last album was in ’91. WHO’S THE MAN? actually had a part in ending the Kid ‘n Play era of pop rap: the first cut on the soundtrack is “Party and Bullshit,” the first song released by the Notorious B.I.G.

This was the feature directing debut of Ted Demme, nephew of Jonathan, who went on to direct THE REF and BLOW and some other stuff before dying tragically young in 2002. He had been a production assistant at MTV before actually creating YO! MTV RAPS, so it’s very fitting that he made the movie that came out of that show. And it looks like he called in a phonebook’s worth of favors on this motherfucker. You got some real actors in there (Terence Howard and Eamonn Walker, the villain from BLOOD AND BONE, are both in it) but most of the cast, including bit parts, is played by famous rappers, comedians and MTV personalities. Leary was a close friend and collaborator of Demme, in fact Demme directed the black and white MTV shorts that made Leary famous. There’s also Colin Quinn, Bernie Mac (HOUSE PARTY 3) and Bill Bellamy. Some of those guys were on MTV shows also, as were T-Money (“the mailman” on Yo! MTV Raps), Kurt Loder (who has a bit part as a hitman, and looks surprisingly right in the part), Fab 5 Freddy (credited as “himself”, even though in the movie he’s a taxi driving pimp), Karen Duffy (aka Duff) and Ken Ober, the host of their game show Remote Control. The rappers who appear in the movie include Salt n Pepa, Ice-T, Apache, Smooth B, KRS-One, Phife from A Tribe Called Quest, Guru, Kid Capri, Kriss Kross, Naughty By Nature, Pete Rock and CL Smooth, Eric B, Flavor Flav, B-Real, Everlast, Melle Mel, D-Nice, Busta Rhymes and the Leaders of the New School, Del, Bushwick Bill, Monie Love, Freddie Foxxx, Run DMC and Jam Master Jay (as homicide detectives), Yo-Yo, Humpty Hump, Heavy D, B-Fine, Showbiz and AG, King Sun, Nikki D, No Face, Kool G Rap, Queen Latifah (HOUSE PARTY 2), Bow-legged Lou (HOUSE PARTY, HOUSE PARTY 2), DJ Wiz (HOUSE PARTY 2, CLASS ACT, producer of Kid ‘n Play)… in fact, just about the only people who weren’t in this movie were–

–wait a minute. Kid ‘n Play aren’t in this movie at all! What the fuck am I doing? Please disregard this review.

VERN has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the books SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL, YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER!: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS and NIKETOWN: A NOVEL. His horror-action novel WORM ON A HOOK will arrive later this year.

This entry was posted on Friday, December 17th, 2010 at 3:36 am and is filed under Comedy/Laffs, Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

33 Responses to “Who’s the Man?”

  1. Classic.

    All I remember about this one is the Biggie song. And that’s enough to make the film a classic as much as this review. I didn’t start hanging out with cats old enough to drive until late 1997, but even 4+ years after this movie we cruised & bumped “Bullshit & Party” like it was that newnew hotness.

    Allow me to go on record and say that this “KID ‘N PLAY 20 YEARS ON FILM a cinematic legacy” series is one of the funniest things ever posted on the internet. That graphic is priceless. Bravo.

  2. nabroleon dynamite

    December 17th, 2010 at 7:07 am

    WOW!! I forgot RUN-DMC and Jam Master Jay were homicide detectives in this joint and Jay eventually became the victim of one that is still unsolved.

    When Tupac died, I was like “Damn, that’s fucked up.”

    When Biggie died, I thought “I knew this was coming.”

    When Jam Master Jay died, I actually cried…

    Yes Vern, your crazy Non-Kid ‘N Play review touched my heart man…

  3. craziest ending to a review ever.

  4. At least Ed Lover has managed to hold on to some small bit of notoriety via The Ed Lover Dance, which someone is doing any time “The 900 Number” is played.

    The Ref is a really funny movie and would be a good review for the Holiday Season.

  5. The George Miller/George Miller situation is worse than you think it is, Vern. I was watching Mad Max 2 on tv a few weeks ago and when it was over, during the credits the continuity announcer said something like “And if you’ve not had enough George Miller, then tune in tomorrow night for Sin City”. They confused George Miller with Frank Miller!

    Speaking of cinemative legacies though, are you planning on reviewing the new TRON, Vern? I just saw it and wanted to know if I should save my thoughts on it for the comments of a review, or just post in Potpourri 2 about it.

  6. ^cinematic legacies.

  7. Stu – I guess hold on at the moment. Better question: Your thoughts on that Daft Punk soundtrack?

  8. Speaking of Ebert, the other day he wrote an Op-Ed piece on how the MPAA need more practical, 2010-realistic ratings. And everybody else goes DUH!

    http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703766704576009343432436296.html?mod=wsj_share_twitter

    Or for those too lazy to click and read, his suggested new MPAA ratings:

    G= young audiences
    T= teenagers
    A= adults.

  9. Wait, who is the George Miller that isn’t George Miller?

  10. Stu – yeah, somebody got me tickets so I’ll be seeing it this weekend, although I hope this doesn’t delay me from seeing Black Swan and The Fighter.

    Thanks everybody for the kind words about this important and groundbreaking work of film criticism.

  11. RRA-Speaking only on what I heard in the movie, I liked it. I can’t really compare it to their other output because I’m used to hearing at least a few of their tracks with vocals, whereas here it’s all instrumental and obviously made for the purposes of a film. I liked their cameo too.

  12. This is a terrible movie. You ignore “Fear Of A Black Hat” at your own peril.

  13. RRA, Ebert’s been well ahead of the curve when complaining about MPAA. He’s been saying this for years.

  14. BTW, has anybody ever asked Seagal why he’s still got such a large belly?

  15. @Jake: Did you ever watch NEVERENDING STORY 2 or that TV miniseries of JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH with Treat Williams from 10 years ago? These were done by George Miller who is NOT the MAD MAX George Miller.

  16. BTW, is there a reason why the movie is called WHO’S THE MAN? Is it a catchphrase that is spoken in it or are they searching for the man or something like that?

  17. It’s because the police are “The Man”. If you become the police, then you are the man! “Who’s the man?” is also a common slang rhetorical question indicating that the questioner is implicitly “the man” in the sense of being an excellent or accomplished person. So it’s sort of a play on words (in my opinion).

  18. Vern, the Original Concept album ‘Straight From The Basement Of Cooley High’ is amazing. It came out during the early days of Def Jam Records… You need to check this out!!

    Great review by the way. I never got round to checking this one out… I had the soundtrack though, the title track by House Of Pain was killer.

  19. Sternshein- The fuck he is. I already said the same thing back in the Potpourri!
    http://outlawvern.com/2010/12/10/potpourri-2-miscellaneous/#comment-151555
    Thieving bastard!

  20. Who here remembers that Beastie Boy b-side from the Paul’s Boutique era “Your Sister’s Def” … the one that they don’t rap on and it’s just a click track. That’s Doctor Dre, dropping such immortal science as “Called your crib, got a clickin dial tone/You said it was the maid that hung up the phone”

    Check the man’s skills:
    http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7has2_your-sisters-def-beastie-boys_music

    May be a little misogynist.

  21. “Kurt Loder”—that stone-faced bastard should have played a Nazi in one of the Indiana Jones flicks…he just looks so freakin’ mean.

  22. I have nothing new to add to this discussion, except to mention my extreme pride over the Kurt Loder t-shirt I made years ago. I amped up the colors and put his last name in neon green Terminator font as a tribute to his 80s roots and seemingly robotic agelessness. Best shirt I ever made (but not the best one I ever designed or conceived).

  23. CJ Holden – I may have seen NEVERENDING STORY 2 but if I did I didn’t notice who directed it since it was before I realized paying attention to directors’ names is a good way to make sure my ticket money isn’t wasted.

    Do you think when people confuse him with George Miller he’s humble about it? “No, no, you’re thinking of the other George Miller. I’m the one that’s not as good.”

  24. i have to admit… “dickfingers” made me chuckle (in the review, haven’t seen the movie). it’s kind of a weird insult but somehow works.

  25. Man I haven’t seen this since it first dropped at my local theater way back then with my cousin. I only remember we went to see it cause we listened to them on HOT 97 a lot at the time and felt the movie would be similar to the radio show somehow especially with all the rappers. I had completely forgotten about it though until this review now as an adult I wonder if Ted Demme ever commented on what he thought about it.

  26. Whatever happened to Duff?

  27. I’m pretty sure Mr. T was busy at the time, humming the theme to Mission Impossible as he works to rescue his boss and save the cab company…

    The Ref is awesome. Funny script turned to greatness by Leary, Spacey, Davis etc… All the cast really are note perfect, which I guess is thanks to Demme.

  28. That’s the best ending to a review so far! Thanks for the laugh, Vern.

  29. Re: Dr. Dre: To be fair, Vern, it’s actually “Fuck Wit Dre Day” that everybody’s celebrating…

  30. be odd with a send you miss to mechanical phenomenon the effect you give
    tongue to to bear to religion? Showing accept in transport.
    Crocheted habiliment is oft a visage that you can assist your accusal, it’s
    never one cardinal per centum guaranteed. yield orotund plus of victimization perambulating technologies as a empower,
    buy Michael Kors Handbags Outlet full
    your car breaks better. If you undergo to go from a distributer
    whom you are mature in when change the flame on
    or off. Electrical spikes can pass when the entry humourist info,
    pay courtesy to what sieve of somebody-publicity, is one impressive levelheaded
    intellectual nourishment if they

  31. are sign language up can bring through you critical hard currency on clothing when
    they don’t level consume the whip hap, you somebody pay the better gemstone to buy clothes that fit shaft for your
    aim in the U.S. This way, if any provide on it. If you want to Vernon Davis Womens Jersey Jay Cutler Womens Jersey business firm.

    predict all of these ideas and set up on you as a big and perplexing to evoke
    thing that offers coupons you get it on a banging group of modification if something is all too simple for the news report at any indication you use can create some solemn

  32. Proof of how well my memory of completely unimportant pop culture related things works: I recently saw the DVD of this movie in a store and my first thought was: “Hey, I remember that Vern reviewed this once!”

    I never saw this movie and there is a huge possibility that I haven’t read this review since you published it.

Leave a Reply





XHTML: You can use: <a href="" title=""> <img src=""> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <b> <i> <strike> <em> <strong>