I'm not trying to be a hero! I'M FIGHTING THE DRAGON!!

All the Real Girls

You probaly haven’t heard of it but ALL THE REAL GIRLS is the new one from the young man who made GEORGE WASHINGTON. Maybe you never saw that one either, it was kinda weird because it wasn’t about President George Washington or peanut innovator George Washington Carver, it was about some kid. Maybe he grows up to be George Washington, I don’t know, I don’t get it. But it’s a unique and effective movie made by a young dude nobody ever heard of and somehow it got its own Criterion Collection dvd and many nominations for Independent Spirit Awards. Now the kid got the job of directing a movie of the book CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES, which people have wanted to do for years and years. We’ll see how that turns out, I think the kid can pull it off but who knows I only read half of the book.

All the Real GirlsThis one is a little more intimate than G-dub. It is basically about one short relationship and it is handled very realistically. Basically what this young man Gordon Green did, he took out all the movie bullshit and put in all the real life bullshit. So you don’t get no speeches about star wars or about how everybody feels deep down inside. You don’t get no oldies singalongs or elaborate romantic gestures. There are no cops or astronauts in this picture. The main dude is not a hitman. He just works on cars.

The people in the movie seem real because they talk real. They say things wrong and they don’t have clever quips. They don’t always know how to explain their feelings. That is why most people would hate this movie, but they would be in the other theater watching the one where Steve Martin dresses up as Bulworth. And the people in this theater will probaly love it. So it will all work out and afterwards they can meet in the lobby and still be friends.

At the same time we’re not talking dogme or some shit. Mr. Green is showing a pattern here. He has very strong atmosphere created by Mr. Tim Orr’s photography of interesting rural type settings and then he likes to put in lots of goofy supporting characters that seem more like real people than movie people but still funnier than your boring neighbors. In G-dub there was Rico who had a funny line about a cat “going to the restroom all over the place.” Now that actor Paul Schneider (who looks like the older, less smug James Van Der Beek) has graduated to the lead role and the funniest supporting character is a goofball called “Bust Ass” who has a bad haircut and doesn’t seem to know how to make macaroni properly, and also calls himself “Bust Ass” which I guess is worth mentioning. Anyway Mr. Green really sort of creates his own world but it happens to be one that is more like ours than the one that you usually see in these fuckin relationship dramas. Fuck all you fuckers that make those movies.

[I don’t think I ever finished this review. I hope not. Anyway, sorry.]

VERN has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the books SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL, YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER!: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS and NIKETOWN: A NOVEL. His horror-action novel WORM ON A HOOK will arrive later this year.
This entry was posted on Saturday, February 15th, 2003 at 10:32 am and is filed under Drama, Reviews, Romance. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

One Response to “All the Real Girls”

  1. Who would’ve thought four years later “Bust Ass” would be one of the biggest comedy stars in the world and David Gordon Green would be directing a weed action/comedy and a fantasy comedy with realistic minotaur and centaur genitalia. Seriously, I can’t wait for that movie.

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