So once again we have survived.

That sick Vern takes in ED GEIN

Hey folks, Harry here with that sick bastard Vern and his fascinating look at that sick bastard, ED GEIN… well, technically it focuses on that Steven Railsback film that we premiered at BUTT-NUMB-A-THON 2 last year as the ender… The film is definitely not for all tastes, but for those with an eclectic bite… well, it hit the spot. Here’s Vern… a cousin of some sort to Moriarty (20 times removed I believe)…

Hey boys I got a new one for you. There is a movie coming to video called ED GEIN, about this sick fuck named ED GEIN. If you like movies about a guy running around in the moonlight howling and beating a drum and wearing a lady’s privates for his clothes, then this is the movie for you. But more about that later.

Ed GeinWhen they first announced this one it confused horror freaks everywhere, because they were saying it was a “prequel” to the TExas Chainsaw pictures. you know how folks were about prequels back then, it was the big thing. first it was trilogies, then prequels, now who knows what. point is it was a different time. A more innocent time. But rest assured this is just a straight up biopic (short for biographical-type-picture) with no references to leatherface, chucky, or even the matrix.

The ONLY connection to the texas films is that Ed Gein is the real life sicko pervert fuckwad who inspired that movie. He didn’t live in texas or use a chainsaw but he did like to eat the forbidden meat of man as well as to wear people’s skin and decorate his house with their body parts.

i mean, jesus. i don’t mean to be a prude but WHAT was this guy thinking? I guess this was the ’50s but STILL. I hope we have progressed a little since then as a society, personally.

Anyway Eddie Gein’s work was a major influence for Psycho. You know that whole deal with Norman digging up his dead mother and keeping her around thinking she’s talking to him? Yeah, Eddie was into that too. to my knowledge mr. gein received NO proceeds from the psycho franchise though, let alone screen credit, so don’t worry. if he had been a member of the Writer’s guild it might’ve been a different story but why get into the maybes and could’ve beens. let’s stick to the reviewing of motion pictures of Cinema and home video, thank you very much.

actually come to think of it maybe it would’ve been good if this fella had some hollywood scratch sliding his way, maybe he could’ve paid to ship in meat from some cannibal island somewhere instead of actually going out and killing his neighbors. anyway sorry bout that i’ll get to the movie.

Steve Railsback of playing Charlie Manson fame stars as the title maniac, and it is his acting performitude that makes the picture. He is not portrayed as evil in any way, just a big dumb lug with a bit of a social problem. When the picture opens he is already digging up his mother but we forget about that quickly. He is just some lonely guy who people think is a weirdo cause he collects shrunken heads. And he says odd things sometimes but they just figure he’s kidding and laugh. And then he thinks he’s a comedian so he repeats it.

The movie mostly sticks to the facts that are known about the case and doesn’t try to speculate too much. We don’t see much cannibalism or know for sure if that really is venison he feeds his friends with. We mostly stay on the outside but I mean, we are not as surprised as the cops are when they find a human heart on his stove at the end.

The one major flight of fancy or whatever is in the few scenes when Ed imagines his mom talking to him and telling him what to do. It’s too bad because even though Eddie is the ORIGINAL at this fucked up idea it still seems kind of hackneyed now as if he ripped it off from psycho. luckily it is played down, as is all of the gore. You only see enough to know what he is doing, which is pretty much the most fucked up shit anybody has ever done, ever. but for a movie about a guy cutting off tits and wearing them, it is pretty tame. So you’re able to empathize with the poor crazy schmo.

One thing that makes the movie stand out is that, like in the actual case, mr. gein spends alot of his time trying to hook up with the older gals in his neighborhood. He is obviously attracted to them and asks them to go rollerskating and what not, and then he kidnaps them. You’re so used to seeing young, attractive gals get stalked in horror movies that it made me feel really uncomfortable to watch. and then it made me wonder what that says about me. i mean shit. i HOPE i’m not enjoying seeing a young hottie get stalked in these movies just cause she’s good lookin. whatever’s going on here it gives it a different, realistic type feel that makes it more powerful than you’d expect in your straight to video horror picture i.e. the leprechaun pictures, uncle sam, mr. frosty etc.

You know what would be funny, if they had a movie where somebody jumps up in the air and they freeze, and the camera spins around them and everything, like on the matrix. Only it’s NOT the matrix, it’s a totally other movie. that’s why it’s funny. ha ha, get it.

Now I’m not sure this is a movie that needed to be made, because the real story of Ed Gein has already been told in the movie Deranged. They changed the names but they followed the facts pretty closely and this old cowboy Roberts Blossom is great as the lead cannibal. that one plays it gorier with horrendous makeup by Tom Savini (from that great movie Knightriders) and also plays it for laughs. The new Ed Gein: the movie is more serious with only a couple of very dry moments of black, black, black humor. the blackest. not like the wayans brothers, jackass, I mean just very macabre type humor is what it means. come on fellas let’s be serious here.

Anyway I gotta say, Ed Gein is not must-see but it’s alot better than I thought it would be. I would recommend a rental to the curious horror or true crime fans out there looking for something sort of along the lines of Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, but tamer, but at the same time alot sicker.

the end.

But seriously though Ed. WHY would you wear a gal’s privates? My mother was religious too. I grew up poor. I’m not talking put water on the cereal instead of milk. I remember times when we didn’t even have cereal, so my mom would just put a bunch of dental floss in a bowl and pour water on it. and this was before the days of mint or cinnamon floss. this wasn’t even waxed. But the point is I may have gotten into some trouble. I may not have gone on the best path in life. but I am proud to say I never ONCE wore a gal’s privates. Not even skin!

please kids, I am not a role model. but stay clean and stay in school. thanks guys.

Vern

Originally posted at Ain’t-It-Cool-News: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/9317

View the archived Ain’t-It-Cool-News Talkback

  • June 14, 2001, 10:50 p.m. CST

    If you like movies about a guy running around in the moonlight h

    by heavy_voodoo

    Hell if i move to the right part of West Virgina i can see that nightly.

  • June 14, 2001, 11:36 p.m. CST

    For all you need to know about Ed Gein, read the book DEVIANT.

    by exit272

    Harold Schechter is the best true crime writer going right now, because he deals with historical murders rather than trendy, modern day media circus ones (JonBenet, etc.), and he reminds us that, contrary to the claims of conservative scrotum-suckers who think that nobody ever killed anybody before video games were invented, deranged murder has been a part of our society’s fabric well back into the 1800’s. Other unforgettable Schechter books are FIEND, about an early teen killer (yes, they existed before Columbine) and DERANGED, about Albert Fish, the most fucked-up sickening pedophile murderer ever. I can’t say these are upbeat topics but for sheer horror, they beat the shit out of anything Stpehen King could ever come up with. Go to amazon and look up Harold Schechter. We now return you to your regularly scheduled talkback.

  • June 14, 2001, 11:42 p.m. CST

    Ed Gein

    by MacGuffin

    I work on a national TV show and we did a story about this sick fuck and this movie that was made about him. We viewed a copy of the movie and it’s a piece of crap. I think it’s very true to what happened in real life, but it’s made with worse production value than Xena:Warrior Princess. I just feel sorry for the poor folks of Plainsfield, Wisconson, where everything took place. For the past fifty years or so, these people have been trying to live down the history of what turned out to be the first infamous case of a serial killer, and this movie is not going to help. The one thing the movie does well is show how creepy this guy was. He definately has the whole Norman Bates thing going: quiet, unsuspecting, and completely out of touch with reality. This guy would dig up dead women’s bodies and cut off their private parts for the fun of it. Not to mention the fact that he would serve up human meat to his neighbors telling them it was deer, and then he would make furniture from human bones. He was Psycho, Leatherface, and Hannibal the Cannibal all rolled into one.

  • June 15, 2001, 12:50 a.m. CST

    Buffalo Bill, NOT Hannibal the Cannibal

    by Dn38416

    Correction, MacGuffin, in Silence of the Lambs, it was Buffalo Bill that portrayed Ed Gein, not Hannibal.

  • June 15, 2001, 1:35 a.m. CST

    Yet another Hollywod film that makes Ed Gein seem like a stalker

    by Monkey_King

    The previous poster is correct. To get the lowdown on Gein(Rhymes with “Fiend”) read the Schecter book DEVIANT and also read the book ED GEIN:PSYCHO by Paul Anthony Woods. Variety even reviewed this film weeks back saying it was fashioned from here-say mixed with truth about the poor old handy man with the lazy eye who was pretty quiet, but belied a dark, terrible “other personality.” Gein was attributed to only one murder, that of Bernice Worden. Although he was also thought to have killed another woman, but it was never proven. He mosyly dug up their freshy buried corpses and made things from them(e.g. lampshades, belts, seat covers, face mask and body suit, etc..) Hollywood needs to do “Real” film about Gein who died in 1984.

  • June 15, 2001, 2:48 a.m. CST

    “That was the most fucked up review I’ve EVER read, I mean reall

    by JackBurton

    Almost bad enough to make me want to go out, skin a few geeks and make lampshades out of their bloated, popcorn coated asses, but then I’m not a sick fuck.

  • June 15, 2001, 4:30 a.m. CST

    We DO need a real movie about Ed.

    by Skinnyboy

    First off, that had to be one of the most awfully written reviews I’ve ever trudged through.

    Okay… when I first heard about this movie, I was confused. I’ve read every book on Ed, and always waited (with the thought that Hollywood would NEVER actually do it) for a movie to be made. But here we are…

    Granted, Ed WAS a sick fuck, but I don’t get how people want to play it down, and we should bury it away, forgetting about what Ed did. If we do that, then it just might happen again. We need to learn from what ahppened in the past, and make changes so the future turns out better. Ed did what he did, and keep in mind that I am no expert, because of what he was surrounded by during his life, AND what was completely snapped in his mind. BOTH of those things caused him to complete those awful acts.

    And I wouldn’t definitely recommend Deviant by Harold Schecter and also Edward Gein-America’s Most Bizarre Murderer by Judge Robert H. Gollmar, which is more of the actual dialouge from the courts. The Paul Anthony Woods one, Pyscho, is not that great in my opinon. It’s just too flashy and seems to make stuff up, and presents Ed as a ‘rock star’, instead of someone who was sick, mentally deranged, and wrong.

  • June 15, 2001, 5:49 a.m. CST

    Production Values

    by Brendon

    I saw ED GEIN not too long back when Metro Tartan screened it for exhibitors in Soho, London. Well, I must say, the production values were not so low. It’s certainly a ‘cheap’ film, but the cinematography is at worst crisp, at best quite vivid and crystalline. So, maybe it’s nothing special, but it does take a serious air for the most part, and does avoid a number of cliches, though falling foul of others. Railsback does okay, too, but some of the bit part players have me confused. I’m not sure what to make of the actress playing the barwoman. She’s like a whoring Angela Lanbury. There’s a certain ‘colour’ to her performance which is undeniably ‘entertaining’ and her demise is fairly well played… but at times she seems to be in a film all of her own.

    Though not as far-out as some of the bar regulars.

    I did not recommend that the cinema I represent book this film, but it’s really not bad. Interesting to see Metro Tartan, or more preciselt, their head honcho Hamish pretty much got the ball rolling on this one. I hiope they keep at production, and not simply acquisition. There’s only so much blood splattering Japanese metaphor mangling I can take…

  • June 15, 2001, 6:40 a.m. CST

    ‘coming to video’?

    by MartinBlank

    damn…guess that means it’s not getting any kind of theatrical release (outside of L.A. that is). Oh well. I suppose we should be thankful it’s even coming to video. Gonna go check out www.edgeinthemovie.com now and see if there’s any news on the video release date. This’ll look good on my shelf next to my ‘Henry’ DVD even though the ‘Henry’ DVD sucks rhino balls (ugly-ass transfer, sound out of sync, etc.) and someone like Anchor Bay or Criterion seriously needs to do it right.

  • June 15, 2001, 7:28 a.m. CST

    Reviews at this site

    by PeanutGallery

    I would like to recommend you guys hire a proof reader. It’s like reading those thank you’s you see at pizza places when a 3rd grade class gets a tour. This review is practically unreadable. Since when is poor grammer and horrible punctuation considered schtick. This movie also sounds horrible. Read the book.

  • June 15, 2001, 12:56 p.m. CST

    The guy who wrote this review is…

    by SMART PIG

    obviously prelingual

  • June 15, 2001, 1:10 p.m. CST

    It’s Vern!

    by crimsonrage

    Hilarious review as always, Vern. I noticed you toned down on the use of the dreaded “f” word.

    You talkbackers complaining about the review obviously have a hard time seeing pure, unadulterated brilliance.

  • June 15, 2001, 2:14 p.m. CST

    this info is sort of fucked

    by bumetalman

    i did a term paper on Ed Gein, he wasn’t a cannibal or a serial killer, he murdered two women(and possibly his brother), dug up graves and was not a necrophiliac as some believe. He was a ghoul however, very twisted but not a howling madman like this reviewer is making him out to be, and if the film is taking that many liberties with a true story, its bullshit.

  • June 15, 2001, 6:18 p.m. CST

    Real life psychos are always scarier then. . .

    by Sith Lord Jesus

    . . .Freddie, Jason and all the rest of the fantasies. Just knowing people like Ed Gein and Ted Bundy can exist. . .*brrrrrr.* Freaky. But then. . .I suppose that that’s what Mr. Lethal Injection is for.

  • June 16, 2001, 7:54 a.m. CST

    music to eat to

    by chasin’thetrane

  • June 16, 2001, 9:18 a.m. CST

    Jesus what are you talking about

    by Vern

    Hey bud I’m glad you liked my review. ButI didn’t do any of those things you mentioned. I didn’t even say fuck that many times even though to be frankly honest I think it is an important word in film criticism. If you are asking me to teach you how to Write then forget it, I am too busy. But it is a flattering offer. All I can say is keep practicing bud, but try to stay clean. I went down that road before and it is not pretty. stay in school kid and keep learning. Your friend Vern. p.s. unless you’re making fun of me.

  • June 16, 2001, 10:02 a.m. CST

    Welcome Back, Vern

    by JAPrufrock

    It’s good to see you still reviewing the films of cinema, Vern. You had some of us worried for a while. Keep up the good work, bud. Hope to see you in the Vernanda soon.

  • June 17, 2001, 8:02 p.m. CST

    Wax dental floss actually isn’t good for your teeth

    by Milktoast

    Because the wax doesn’t just stay on the string, it comes off and glazes the tooth. That means that it works as a protective coating on your teeth, which your toothbrush will not be able to get through. Wax dental floss just isn’t worth using. And minted, well, let me say only that there is no easy path to having a healthy looking smile.

VERN has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the books SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL, YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER!: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS and NIKETOWN: A NOVEL. His horror-action novel WORM ON A HOOK will arrive later this year.
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