Here I am trying to better myself, trying to educated myself about the films of Cinema and I see that these two both get five star reviews from a lot of critics and hell they’re playing them back to back on AMC I’m thinking hey, the Eve series must be a pretty good series. And it is.
All about Eve is a very well made story about the New York theater type people – actors, producers, writers, columnists, wannabes. The Eve of the title is this young naive girl who’s a dedicated fan who goes to meet the famous actress Margot Channing. She doesn’t want to impose on her, she’s not some autograph seeker, but she’s seen every performance of this play so Margot’s best friend brings her backstage and before you know it she’s Margot’s assistant. And of course the movie depicts her rise from being this naive nobody to being an acclaimed but self centered actress like Margot. If you’ve seen Showgirls this is the same type of deal except without the swimming pool sex scene, otherwise it remains very faithful though.
Now the problem with Eve is that she seems to be TOO nice. She apologizes for everything, takes the blame for everything, tries to always be humble to the point of being annoying as hell. I mean at first you can’t help but like her she’s so nice but a little of her goes a LONG fucking way to be frankly honest. It’s no wonder people in show business are insane if they have to deal with people like this. So it’s almost a relief when she turns out to be a phoney, she lied about her background and she’s just pretending to be humble and nice. By the end she’s pulling soap opera style backstabbing shenanigans and scheming like you wouldn’t believe. I mean she came in there like some evil alien or robot or alien robot programmed to become a star at any cost. This twist didn’t really surprise me though because I seem to remember this movie was released overseas under the alternate title Lying Ass Bitch. But I don’t know I could be wrong don’t quote me on that.
Margot, played by Bette Davis, is also a bitch, but in a good way. She always has some cold-hearted stab ready for somebody that gives her shit. She pretends to be nice and then says something like, “Don’t worry about your heart dear, you can just put this award where your heart’s supposed to be.” There are lots of good little quips like this, it’s a well written piece in my opinion, although there is a disturbing lack of violence in the confrontations, I would have liked to see a little kickboxing or something at some point. But what can you do man.
Three Faces of Eve doesn’t have any fighting either but it is one of those rare sequels that is better than the original. It picks up right where All About Eve left off but with a little bit of artistic license. Now instead of a famous theater actress and lying ass bitch, Eve is a buttoned down housewife who goes to see a psychiatrist about some bad headaches and blackouts she’s been having. Before long we discover that she has multiple personality disorder. That’s why she does weird shit like run up her husband’s credit card at the department store and then come home and think he bought her new clothes.
This piece is much more intimate than the original. The best scenes are long ones in the doctor’s office where Eve goes through her two, and eventually three personalities – Eve White, Eve Black, and some other gal. Joanne Woodward plays Eve in this one and she did a MUCH better job than Anne Baxter in the original. Sorry just tellin it like it is. While All About Eve had a humble Eve and a self-centered Eve and both of them were totally unlikable, Joanne here has three types of Eves and none of them are too shabby. She gives distinct voice and mannerisms to each of the characters and she doesn’t have to wear a big fat suit to make you tell the difference like that fat fuck Eddie Murphy does. I mean you can tell which one she is just by the expression on her face. No wonder this gal won an oscar, she deserved it, and anyone who says different better not say it to my fucking face.
Mrs. White is her normal meek, scared housewife personality she’s been living with, and Eve Black is what she might have become if she’d never been married. She’s playful and flirtatious, likes to dress sexy and go out and drink with sailors. I guess you could say she’s Eve’s dark side because she tries to strangle her little daughter. I mean, that’s not cool in my opinion, it’s just a little girl leave her alone. But other than that this personality is more likable than Mrs. White and she becomes good friends with the doctor although she outrages her possessive, conservative husband. Come on pal it’s 2000, well, I guess it was 1957 then, but still give a woman a break jesus. She can express her sexuality if she wants to jack let it go.
Anyway this movie is pretty sad, even the happy ending is kind of sad I think because they have a sense that not all of the personalities will survive. You get to think of them as separate people so it’s kind of like someone gets killed. I mean jesus what a downer. Anyway I hope showgirls 2 will be based on this because it will be interesting to see how this plays in vegas.
VERN has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the books SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL, YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER!: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS and NIKETOWN: A NOVEL. His horror-action novel WORM ON A HOOK will arrive later this year.