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Archive for the ‘Monster’ Category

Wanna See Vern’s MAN-THING? Er, His Review, I Mean…

Friday, September 22nd, 2006

 Hi, everyone. “Moriarty” here with some Rumblings From The Lab…

Wait… Brett Leonard made a bad film? THAT’S UN-POSSIBLE!!

Dear Harry-Thing,

I happened to see this movie MAN-THING and I figured it was my duty to notify you boys. The cover says it’s Marvel Comics and “from the producer of SPIDER-MAN, DAREDEVIL, X-MEN and BLADE.” Funny, no mention of ELEKTRA or DAREDEVIL. You remember that one, where Ben Affleck was the blind sadomasochistic biker version of Spiderman, and Colin Farrell kept trying to kill him by flicking peanuts and paperclips and shit at him? I was thinking maybe I dreamed that movie but my sources assure me that it was an actual, theatrically released movie starring popular Hollywood actors. (read the rest of this shit…)

The Very First KING KONG Review… That Is Written By Vern!!

Tuesday, December 13th, 2005

SPOILER ALERT !!

Hi, everyone. “Moriarty” here with some Rumblings From The Lab…

Okay, so it’s not the first one ever. Or even in the first hundred at this point. But it’s before mine, and it’s by Vern, so there’s two things it’s got going for it. Check this out:

What’s up fellas –

I heard some shit about your butts were numb or something like that. Sorry to hear about that I hope you get well soon.

Anyway here’s the deal. I saw KING KONG. Not sure if you know about this one but it is a remake of an older picture from ’33 or so. This version is by Pete Jackson who won an Oscar, etc. You LORD OF THE RINGS fans will know who I’m talking about. If not there is always the internet. I’m not sure if they have IMDB translated into elfish, but I’m sure you can find the information somewhere or other. (read the rest of this shit…)