Back in 2001, long before he ever challenged me to a wrestling match, CHAOS director David “The Demon” DeFalco wrote an action movie called POINT DOOM. It’s directed by a guy named Art Camacho, who was in HALF PAST DEAD and directed a bunch of Don “The Dragon” Wilson movies. The producer is the same guy from CHAOS, here credited as Steven Jay “Bernie” Bernheim. It was sold as a Blockbuster Video exclusive, which I’m sure everyone involved was very proud of.
This is a terrible movie, but it has its own style of craziness and ineptitude that to me makes it much more interesting (if less competent) than the straight up rehash of CHAOS. It has a distinct ’80s retro L.A. sleaziness and an insulated world view that makes you wonder if these people only know cliches or if they are shut-ins who live in a strip club before. I think Grieco is supposed to be a straight-up hero, not an anti-hero, but it’s hard to imagine who would find this chump sympathetic. And the females in the cast have the gravitas of BAYWATCH stars. Almost everybody in this movie is a talent agent, a biker, or an employee of a strip club. The only exceptions are Ice-T (gangster, but not biker) and Angie Everhart (sister of strip club employee).
And yes, this is an All-Star DTV Hall of Famer lineup we’re talkin here: Richard Grieco. Ice-T. Andrew “Dice” Clay. Angie Everhart. Zach Galligan from GREMLINS. Sebastian Bach of the ’80s rock band Skid Row. Even a special appearance by The Demon himself, but credited as “Bobby Young.” (Turns out as Bobby he’s acted in a few softcore movies like FEMALIEN and LOLIDA 2000.)
Grieco is the hero, Rick, a rich Hollywood talent agent with spikey hair, a big white collar and a fancy convertible. If you are too young to remember him on 21 Jump Street, just picture Ben Stiller with 25 face lifts and convinced he’s some kind of heart throb. One day while visiting his friend Frankie (Andrew Dice Clay)’s strip club he falls in love-at-first-sight with the Playmate-type blonde Stephanie (Jennifer O’Dell) who serves his drink. Frankie tries to warn him that she is the girlfriend of a guy from the Satan’s Slaves Motorcycles and Drugs Society of America and therefore bad news. But he keeps making googly eyes at her and follows her around and it’s supposed to be sweet so somehow she figures out that he’s not just a sleazy cheeseball agent guy hitting on her at the strip club where she works and that in fact she should risk her life to leave her boyfriend and go to the beach with him. There is a montage where they laugh and piggyback and go on a swingset. (more…)
By part 4 the SUBSTITUTE series is almost entirely divorced from the theatrical original. It’s the only one not written by Rocco Simonelli and Roy Frumkes – this time it’s Dan Gurskis, who apparently did an uncredited rewrite on part 3. It’s Treat Williams as Karl Thomasson again, but he’s not even really an undercover substitute. He discusses it that way, but really he’s given the job of history teacher at a military academy under slightly sneaky but not really clandestine circumstances. He’s not THE SUBSTITUTE anymore, he’s THE NEW TEACHER.
Like
