I'm not trying to be a hero! I'M FIGHTING THE DRAGON!!

Vern Claims Zorro Fight Californian Neocon Christian Terrorists in LEGEND OF ZORRO and he digs it!

SPOILER ALERT !!

Hey folks, Harry here… A couple of days ago, crazy Massawyrm began yapping about how much he liked LEGEND OF ZORRO and I pretty much wrote the film off, cuz… well Massa is a bit goofy in the head. He’s rooting for John McCain to be President in 2008 – so he’s not always to be trusted. But then I get this review from man-god Vern that says Zorro is essentially fighting Californian Neocon Christian Terrorist (C.N.C.T for short) and well, that’s the kind of goofy ass fantasy that I might be able to sign up for. Here ya go…

Legend of Zorro is an old fashioned cornball type of movie, just like the first one. It’s all about sword fights and horse chases and the need for California statehood. You got your swashbuckling, your derring-do, your flips, etc. Zorro is the type of guy who will add a flip into any plan whether it’s needed or not. In the opening scene he is chasing an ugly bad guy with wooden teeth, and at one point he does a flip that is actually counter-productive, it causes him to lag behind. But he still catches up. He’s fuckin Zorro, man, what did you think was gonna happen?

The Legend of ZorroThis time around Zorro is in a John McClane circa DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE stage of his life. He’s drunk, his wife left him, and he got suspended. Actually I made that last part up, I don’t think you can get suspended from being Zorro. But the point is everything’s not strawberries and cream after part 1. You still got some underdog there even after the big happy ending each and every one of us remember so well from 10 years ago or however long it’s been.

Also his happy ending baby is now a grown child so he has to juggle masked heroism with regular fatherhood type business. He’s in almost a Jet Li in MY FATHER IS A HERO situation where his son idolizes Zorro but thinks his dad is a pansy nobleman who goes away too much and doesn’t have the balls to fight for what’s right, which in this place and time is California statehood. Seriously, everybody is really excited about it.

Another thing that sucks for Zorro, his horse is still kind of a dick. Or at least they don’t get along very well. The horse is always fuckin around, drinking beer and burping and stuff. Trying to get cheap laughs. But he takes directions well and he doesn’t mind Zorro jumping onto him from high elevations and I guess it’s hard to replace a horse like that.

Like you would expect from the end of part 1, the wife and kid are very involved in the action this time around. It’s nice to think of Catherine Zeta Jones as Zorro’s woman friend again instead of that lady that married Michael Douglas and is always yapping about cell phones. She’s still good with a sword, also a shovel. And she does some undercover noble woman type business with an asshole who looks exactly like Rufus Sewell, and turns out to actually be Rufus Sewell according to the credits, which explains the resemblance. Anyway that’s the slow part of the movie, for adults.

To keep the kids interested though, the little crumbcrusher gets in on the action. Now, I assumed that when Zorro did all that intensive training with Anthony Hopkins in part 1, that was what made him Zorro. But it turns out some of it might be genetic too, because this little bastard has it in his blood. There is a completely ridiculous scene that I liked where the kid gets in a sword fight with the padre in school. And yes, he does a flip. If he knew his dad was Zorro he would probaly rebel by never doing flips at all. But since he thinks his dad is a sissy he does a flip in class. I don’t think Catherine Zeta Jones ever does a flip though. Come on lady, let’s see some more effort in part 3 thank you very much. Same goes for the horse. No excuses.

I’m not sure what to make of the politics of the movie. I think pretty much anybody could read some kind of symbolism into it to support their world view. The Californians are voting to ratify a constitution, which reminds you of Iraq. And some assholes are trying to steal the votes. (Alot of Zorro’s missions are about stealing or protecting documents.) So you might think the bad guys (who mention Jesus alot but don’t seem all that christlike) are a good symbol for terrorists or insurgents or somebody like that. But even though they’re trying to stop the vote, they are kind of these neocon types trying to control the whole world, and starting a civil war and supplying weapons and whatnot. You could draw alot of different parallels. So I’m not sure what this all says about our modern world but I guess if Zorro ran for congress I might vote for him, I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it.

I don’t think the first Zorro was exactly a pop culture phenomenon, and that was so long ago that it’s weird they made this sequel now. I don’t know where you draw the line between “I admire their temerity making a sequel to that” and “who the fuck wants a sequel to that?” But I for one am happy to see this character and this type of movie again, even if nobody else does. I like this Zorro character. He’s a good character because 1. he’s Zorro so he can pull off any spectacular stunt required of him but 2. he also fucks up real bad sometimes and 3. because he’s Antonio Banderas he’s stubborn about it and it’s funny to watch him get all mad.

I think Banderas is a good action hero, he gets very into it with his voice and with his physicality, and he looks good in a hat. I noticed a couple things about this guy’s movies though. First of all, if you are ever in a Banderas movie, stay the fuck away from church. Somebody’s always getting shot in a church. It happened in this one, it happened in ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO, I think it happened in the first Zorro and in DESPERADO, and didn’t something happen in a church in FEMME FATALE? To be fair, church is often a dangerous place in action movies, just ask Chow Yun Fat. And Nico Toscani from ABOVE THE LAW. Still, having Banderas in a church really makes a shootout more likely. So be careful.

The other thing I noticed was about candles. In the secret Zorro cave, there must be something like 200 lit candles. When does he have the time to light that shit? I hope he doesn’t make Catherine Zeta Jones do it. And he doesn’t have an Alfred. Same thing in DESPERADO, he’s got candles everywhere during the sex scene, in the secret Desperado cave. If it was just once it would be a mystery but since it’s in more than one movie I guess we can assume Banderas spends alot of time lighting candles. That’s just what he does.

A little word of caution. Although Abe Lincoln can be spotted in this movie, he does not have any fight scenes. So don’t get your hopes up. Also, there is a scene where Zorro is locked up in prison by the Pinkertons, the old timey CIA. Thank god the electrode apparently hadn’t been invented yet, there are no Abu Ghraib shenanigans here. Anyway I only bring it up because Zorro’s son breaks him out of jail, which is a good reason to consider having kids. So keep that in mind.

Anyway, like I said, this is just like the first one. Not a rehash, but the exact same tone and pacing. The same kind of action, the same kind of humor, the same kind of melodramatic romance. The one thing they tried to improve was the opening and closing credits. This time the text at the beginning is bigger, so you can read it, and the end credits don’t have a horrible ballad over them. But otherwise it’s the same. If you saw the first one and didn’t like it, move along. This is private Zorro business, you’re not wanted here. The audience I saw it with seemed to really enjoy it, but still, I’m gonna have to guess that alot of people won’t. Because it’s so defiantly corny and old fashioned. There might be one or two minor historical inaccuracies I would guess, and there’s some jokes, and explosions. But there is no attempt to make this any more modern than they did in part 1, and it wasn’t like it was up to date then. For once, there is no way to tell this movie was made after THE MATRIX. If there’s many more digital shots this time around I didn’t notice them (I thought maybe the train but it turns out even that was a model).

So if you are a newsie that thinks this movie looks stupid, you will probaly not like it. If you are at the age where you knew who Paris Hilton was before you saw her giving that guy a blowjob, you will probaly not like it. But if you are a little kid who likes sword fights or an old bastard who liked the first one – well, hey, here’s Zorro again. You know what to do.

Also there’s a part where he throws his hat at a guy like it’s a throwing star.

Originally posted at Ain’t-It-Cool-News: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/21661

View the archived Ain’t-It-Cool-News Talkback

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 9:04 a.m. CST

    nice.

    by mbg98

    can’t wait.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 9:10 a.m. CST

    Great review, Vern…

    by DocPazuzu

    …I loved the first one unabashedly so I’ll definitely being seeing this one.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 9:12 a.m. CST

    3RD!

    by solartaco3

    YEAH!!!!!!!!

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 9:17 a.m. CST

    Out of the night, when the full moon is bright…

    by greyspecter

    …comes a horseman known as Zorro! Do they break out the old theme song? Dang i used to love that back in the day. A nice review Vern (as in Jules?) right on. i’m there with tassels on…

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 9:19 a.m. CST

    oh yeah…

    by greyspecter

    thanks harry for an intro that had basically nothing to do with Vern’s review. stow the politics once in a while, mate

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 9:25 a.m. CST

    after like 5 or 6 years

    by Gilderoy

    who cares about a sequel? Why did it take so long? It makes me think about the Mask and the Mask 2 (although i never saw the second one)

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 9:25 a.m. CST

    after like 5 or 6 years

    by Gilderoy

    who cares about a sequel? Why did it take so long? It makes me think about the Mask and the Mask 2 (although i never saw the second one)

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 9:30 a.m. CST

    Harry is only so liberal because he allows Hollywood to influenc

    by Mahaloth

    Never get the kid involved in the movie sequel. Sounds dumb.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 9:41 a.m. CST

    Re: Mahaloth – From Harry

    by HEADGEEK

    Ummm… Riiiiiight. The fact I grew up in Austin, Tx – the Liberal beating heart of Texas probably has nothing to do with it. Nor would having Parents that had once been Republicans, and witnessed the political corruption from inside the party circa the Nixon era – which in turn made them morally shift to being Independent Liberals as a result of their disgust with that party. Yeah, probably not. Witnessing runaway inflation in the 80s probably had nothing to do with it. And God knows the amazingly competent current administration has won my heart as they continually fuck up and mishandle… well, just about everything. Yeah, it’s all about Hollywood. Sheesh. Never mind the fact that two of my best friends that I work with in Hollywood are Conservatives… I’m working to cure this thinking, and I think they think the same way. But don’t worry, I’ll save them. Damn Hollywood Conservatives!

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 9:46 a.m. CST

    Gilderoy

    by DocPazuzu

    Well, first of all I think it’s pretty safe to assume that there is a tangible difference in quality between the two sequels in question. Secondly, why does a sequel have to follow the original almost immediately? I care about the Zorro sequel and that’s really all that matters. I couldn’t give a rat’s mangy ass if Joe and Jane Average Moviegoer have the memories of goldfish and can’t recall the original. Likewise, I ultimately couldn’t care less about its box office take after its run. It’s not likely to break any records, and I doubt we’ll ever see any more sequels, so I’m just happy that they went ahead and made this one. You know, here’s a case where a movie has been made where the usual money-grubbing, crass cynicism of Hollywood miraculously hasn’t been an impediment to its inception. The fact that an old-fashioned adventure movie of this type – and a sequel to an almost decade-old film, no less – gets made today almost gives me a sliver of hope for Hollywood’s future, despite the recent mind-numbing atrocities like The Fog, The Cave and Monster-in-Law.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 10:06 a.m. CST

    EXCUSE MY IGNORANCE BUT…..

    by Ra Ra Rasputin

    What the Hell is a cornball?

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 10:08 a.m. CST

    Notice to all of you Plants out there

    by FrodosBlueBalls

    If you want to write a review and not look like a plant….see this review. It was verging on the side of plantness, but did not cross the line.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 10:37 a.m. CST

    Unncessary Politics in Film Review

    by MarkWhittington

    Everytime I see someone interjecting his BS politics in a film review I want to slap him upside the head with a rolled up newspaper. Neocons? In 1860? I had the impression that the folks who opposed the entry of California into the Union as a free state were slave holding Southerners, hardly the sort who want freedom for people like the Iraqis.

    Besides, “neoconservatism” was once famously defined as a Jewish conspiracy to take over the world aided and abbetted by the Christian right and led by Colin Powell and Condi Rice.

    Anyway, leave out the BS politics and just tell us about the movie.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 10:39 a.m. CST

    Liberal kooks abound!

    by acroyear77

    And Harry is intimidated by the Neocons because they are right!

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 10:39 a.m. CST

    Harry – you’re quite mistaken

    by Dagan

    Harry – you described “runaway inflation” in the eighties? This is just wrong – inflation in the eighties saw one of the sharpest declines in history. Inflation saw a huge spike during the Carter years – in 1976 it was at around 6%. In 1980 it was up near 14%.(14%! Wow. Can you imagine an inflation rate that high? Why would you save money when it lost 14% of its value each year?) By 1986 the inflation rate had fallen to 2% – just above today’s levels. Quite an accomplishmet. Not sure where your “runaway inflation” comment comes from considering the facts – your assertion is actually the opposite of the truth.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 10:41 a.m. CST

    Ok that’s just TOO FAR HARRY

    by FunmazerX

    I’ve read this site for nearly 8 years, but today is the last day. Bash Bush, fine. He deserves it I suppose. But to called Christians terrorists? Pardon my French but F**K YOU. This kind of “who cares about the Christians” crap from the left that looses them elections. I don’t even go to church and that pisses me off. Let’s throw ’em back to the lions! As for the Hollwood liberal connection mentioned above SPOT ON. I can’t recall ANYTHING political ever being posted until Harry started getting into the business. Sure that was about the same time we started a questionable war but still long after Bush got into office. I guess if you can’t sleep your way to the top in the biz you get there the best way how. I’ve got a lot of liberal friends, conservative ones too but nothing either of them has ever said about the “other side” is remotely insulting and infantile as this. Lastly, I’m sure Harry, who will be doing a lot of Talkback damage control, will say “I’m not calling all Christains terrorists, just the ones in the White House” or some nonsense. TOO BAD. You put CHRISTIAN and TERRORIST next to each other in a sentence. But that’s OK because it’s fine to bash the religion the majority (majority, like 51%) of our nation believes in, right? You put MUSLIN and TERRORIST on a site and you’d raise a shitstorm. Again, bashing politicians is one thing. To call members of my family, and many of my friends TERRORISTS is insulting beyond words. My mom has never killed 3000 people in New York you pile of dog urine. This site was once cool, now it’s reduced to this. If Harry’s goal is to piss off anyone who doesn’t exactly feel like he does and get them off this site – good job. But bad business. Now excuse me while I remove bookmarks.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 10:42 a.m. CST

    Addendum

    by MarkWhittington

    A Harry needs to stop compounding the error by displaying his somewhat slanted, igrorent, and biased view of history. If I need BS left wing politics, I’ll go to the Daily Kos or some other far left site. Here, I just want to read about film and TV, thank you very much.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 10:42 a.m. CST

    Knowles vitriolic rants are intended to incite hatred towards Co

    by acroyear77

    Virtually anyone who is anti-Neocon is also anti-semitic, too.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 10:44 a.m. CST

    Dagan do you have a quick link to any of that info?

    by Cameron1

    Not disputing just want a link.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 10:45 a.m. CST

    Virtually anyone who is anti-Neocon is also anti-semitic, too.

    by Cameron1

    Hahahahaha, you fucking dumbass. I guess you forgot about all the Jewish people then.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 10:47 a.m. CST

    Catherine Zeta-Jones in those sexy period costumes

    by Osmosis Jones

    = MUST-SEE FILM.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 10:49 a.m. CST

    the funniest difference between liberals and conservatives…

    by rebel299

    is their bumper stickers. most conservatives have stickers that stand for how proud they are of their cause. many liberals have stickers that basically say ‘fuck you’ to whatever they are opposed to. cracks me up.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 10:50 a.m. CST

    Sure, Cameron – here’s a link to the data

    by Dagan

    http://inflationdata.com/Inflation/Inflation_Rate/HistoricalInflation.aspx?dsInflation_currentPage=2

    ——————————————————————————–

    As you can see from this chart – inflation is 5.75 percent in 1976 – the year before Carter took office. It’s 13.58% – the last year of Carter in office(what an incredible inflation rate!) It’s 1.91% in 1986 – after six years of Reagan. Hardly “runaway inflation” during the eighties.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 10:51 a.m. CST

    Harry Here – I didn’t call Christians Terrorists, nor did Ve

    by HEADGEEK

    If you people actually read the story, you’d find that VERN is referring to the FICTIONAL CHARACTERS in THE LEGEND OF ZORRO as Christian Terrorists as apparently they’re some weird order of whacked out Christians – from like 140 years ago… Not to be confused with today’s peace-loving Jesus lovers. We all know that in the modern age, Christians are lovely people that don’t try to force their ideals upon others by blowing shit up… but apparently back in Zorro’s day, they did. So chill out. We’re not talking about the Baptist church.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 10:58 a.m. CST

    Harry Digs Himself Deeper

    by MarkWhittington

    So, 19th Century Christians were terrorists? An interesting view of history, divorced of course from reality and informed, one would suspect, by bigotry and ignorance.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11 a.m. CST

    porkysandwich, your comments are fantastic. I mean way to show

    by Cameron1

    So you are a parody of SOME idiot christians. Well done quite beliavable but I’ve never met any Christian quite so stupid as you.

    Bravo sir.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:03 a.m. CST

    Uh oh looks like MarkWhittington is trying to take the top prize

    by Cameron1

    Maybe if you actually READ was written you wouldn’t make such a foll of yourself.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:03 a.m. CST

    Lay off of Harry on the Christian thing – he wasn’t calling

    by Dagan

    Sorry Harry – still looking for that retraction on that point.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:04 a.m. CST

    On the other hand I have no idea what a “foll” is, but then seei

    by Cameron1

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:06 a.m. CST

    The left coast must drool over the replacement of Iraq-ian dynam

    by DRilL

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:13 a.m. CST

    Another “review” tainted by an politically driven introduction

    by vikingkitty

    I’m surprised no one mentioned the weapons of mass destruction in Catherine’s shirt.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:18 a.m. CST

    In Harry’s World

    by mistrmindqed

    Christains are terrorist.

    Nazis won WWII.

    Moriarty’s kid won’t get beat up at recess for having a stupid name.

    Kerry won the 2004 race.

    The Taliban are some nice folks.

    People actually care that the White Sox are going to win the World Series.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:20 a.m. CST

    this is a fucked movie…

    by jig98

    i can’t TELL YOU how much bullshit has been “re-done” this fucking year. yeah, zorro kicks ass and antonio “puss in boots” banderas is awesome, but come on!

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:23 a.m. CST

    Harry Here…

    by HEADGEEK

    Did I say 19th Century Christians were terrorists? Or was it 19th Century Christians in the fictional movie LEGEND OF ZORRO that were terrorists? Hmmmmm…. As for inflation, I was talking about the price of POT and COKE – that shit went way the hell up!

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:25 a.m. CST

    “I didn’t call Christians Terrorists, nor did Vern!”

    by Immortal_Fish

    ::Looks at review title. Reads review:: Hrm. One of you isn’t being honest with yourself.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:27 a.m. CST

    rebel299’s most excellent observation

    by Immortal_Fish

    Brilliant!

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:30 a.m. CST

    Lighten up…..

    by sundancekeed

    It doesn’t bother me if people make anti-Christian or pro-Christian statements in these talkbacks. I’m intelligent enough to make up my own mind about what’s what in the world of politics or religion without being either offended or swayed by the opinions of a movie reviewer or the subsequent talkbackers. It’s all entertainment, kids. And I nominate Vern for comedian of the year. I get more laughs from his reviews than from any stand-up I can think of out there working right now. When does Zorro have time to light all that shit, indeed? That had me on the floor.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:33 a.m. CST

    It truly is amazing how many stupid people who can’t read pr

    by Cameron1

    To all the fucking retarded fools who think Harry or Vern actually called real Christians terrorists all I can say is READ the review then use some cognitive skills and you will find NOTHING to complain about. I assume you all understand the difference between fictional characters and real people? Maybe you don’t, perhaps you think all films and TV shows and plays are all real? Good lord you guys are fucking pathetic.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:35 a.m. CST

    So it’s the FICTIONAL 19th Century Christians — that aren&#

    by Immortal_Fish

    So I presume you believe that Pat Robertson was (justly) incorrect when he called for an execution, but it was a hoot when Al Franken recently did the same thing on Today. After all, he’s a comedian. He’s just being funny! Look, don’t be a Dixie Chick. You knew what you were doing when you wrote that hotbed of a review title. This is your site and you have the right. But don’t expect not to draw any heat from it. We can have our opinions too.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:38 a.m. CST

    Well then Immortal_Fish I hope you were defending the everyone o

    by Cameron1

    In fact all you idiots who complained about this title reallys hould think long and hard about it.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:40 a.m. CST

    It only becomes political when YOU make it political. Read the r

    by Sambone5000

    The Book of John in the Bible was a book completely about the Apostle John. He wrote it but I don’t think that’s what Christians remember most about it. Content is important and you belittle yourselves and everyone you aim to defend when you make moot arguements based on the title of an article you DIDN’T REALLY READ!

    PorkySandwich, conservative most certainly can become liberals and still be Christian and moral. I grew up in the heart of rural Texas and was a strict conservative through the better part of college UNTIL… I voted for current President Penis Smoker and watched him crap on everything America stands for by exploiting a national tragedy and religion to further his own plans to shape us into a bankrupt, Fascist military regime. The Republican party has become a joke and while I don’t always agree with what the Democrats are doing, atleast they’re more right than the GOP. It’s narrow minded of you to imply that conservatives have better values/morals than moderate/liberals. And Jesus was a liberal! If you ever, one day, decide to crack open that Bible you so proudly display on your fireplace then you’ll see he spent his life teaching and helping people that nobody else in society would even get near. He wasn’t martyred for thinking conservatively, he was martyred for going against everything that society told him was right. I agree with Cameron in that there really isn’t runaway inflation but the current administration believes that the best way to solve budgets problems is to lower taxes on the wealthy, which A) never works and B) is the reason Bush goes through so many qualified candidates so fast and ends up settling for cronies to run the major economic positions. Not to mention how much they like to run up the deficit with irresponsible spending. They may not being throwing money into “liberal” programs like art, education, and healthcare but they’ve managed to rack up the biggest deficit in history, DURING WAR TIME (which is almost unheard of).

    Harry and Vern were talking about the plot of the new Zorro movie, not their own views of Christians or Christianity. This is a movie site. 99% of what they talk about is film. Read the reviews next time before you comment on them.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:46 a.m. CST

    I LOVE IT

    by Godardwhowhatnow

    I love it when every time Harry says anything political, the same old loony cabal of moral absolutist talkbackers spew self righteous hellfire up and down the page. I wouldn’t pay to see Zorro 2, but I’d pay each and every time to see these assholes get their panties in a bunch over Harry’s remarks. Oh, and now I see that one of these foaming, mewling imps has condemned poor Harry to hell: “There will be plenty of Harry to go around come supper time for Satan.” Is that concept of ‘Satan’ still around today? Really? That guy with horns, claws, and a pitchfork who punishes evildoers and the nonbelievers for all of eternity in a lake of fire? Really? Oh, silly me, I thought society had moved into the light of reason at some point in the last two thousand years.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:54 a.m. CST

    And Cameron1, I presume you rally behind anyone using the word g

    by Immortal_Fish

    Aquafag was different. From what I read it was the folks unfamiliar with Entourage who voiced thier opinions. Harry had to explain himself there also in a noticeable trend. Only there the explanation made sense. I sincerely doubt the credits for Zorro 2 will include “Christian Neocon Terrorist #4”

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 12:02 p.m. CST

    The point is that bith were used for comedic effect and some peo

    by Cameron1

    Now that’s pretty pathetic.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 12:07 p.m. CST

    “So you might think the bad guys (who mention Jesus alot but don

    by DocPazuzu

    That’s the quote from Vern’s review if you monosyllabic owners of “proud bumperstickers” are too intimidated by the length of the text to actually read it before launching into your rants. At no point did Harry or Vern call christians terrorists. They implied that the terroristoid villains of the film are some sort of fanatical christian order. That doesn’t in any way, fashion or form sound anything like “all christians are terrorists” or even “christians are terrorists”, anymore than labeling Al Queda members “muslim terrorists” would imply that “all muslims are terrorists” or even “muslims are terrorists.” Actually, if you believe the latter then maybe your myopic screaming and cod offense is more understandable, since it would require a world view consisting entirely of easily digestible absolutes.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 12:11 p.m. CST

    Thanks, Vern!

    by Kauzi Sezso

    Thanks for unleashing the AICN Republican Guard once again….. <sigh>….. Somebody tell these jokers that sometimes a movie is just a movie….. Go take a Xanax and let it all pass….

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 12:13 p.m. CST

    Christ on a cracker

    by Terry_1978

    When you get Harry to start engaging in a flamer war, you KNOW it’s gone too far on here.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 12:16 p.m. CST

    Wow…

    by Childe Roland

    …and here I thought the liberals were supposed to be the ultrasensitive overreactionary type. Vern made a joke about the way the movie appears to be portraying Christians (if I remember the first movie right, Zorro is also Christian, just a different sect than the ones blowing shit up in this movie, I imagine). To immediately jump to the conclusion that Harry or Vern is suggesting all Christians are terrorists is, well, dumb as fuck. Read the review and you’ll understand the context of the comments. Oh… and SOME Christians do blow shit up, kids. Ask the shellshocked folks at Planned Parenthood. The holy rollers who firebomb their clinics to try and get their moral point across are no better or worse than the alleged Muslim extremists who flew planes into the World Trade Center. Terrorism sucks no matter what the motivation.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 12:19 p.m. CST

    Made me laugh

    by Darth Busey

    You had me at “First of all, if you are ever in a Banderas movie, stay the fuck away from church.”

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 12:21 p.m. CST

    Slow day at work, huh?

    by sundancekeed

    It has to be for all of this gnashing of teeth to be going on over an innocuous comment about a fictional Christian sect in the 1860’s. Seriously, if a movie review gets you that worked up, maybe you should be reading that Bible a little bit more. You know, the parts about judge not, lest ye be judged? That’s for the guy that called Harry a Satan Sandwich.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 12:28 p.m. CST

    Er…Sambone5000

    by Blue_Demon

    Jesus was not a liberal. I hear that junk all the time. He was a devout follower of the Torah. He believed in marriage between a man and a woman, told of the death penalty in one of his parables and even instructed his followers to “Sell their garment and buy a sword.” Hardly the hippy pacifist some people love portraying him as.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 12:30 p.m. CST

    Sambone5000 – You’re wrong about some things, too…

    by Dagan

    Too many to list here, so I’ll just pull out some obvious ones that are quick and easy to refute from your post: ——————————- “Lowering taxes on the wealthy”. Propaganda, and simply wrong. The Bush tax cuts cut taxes ACROSS THE BOARD. Meaning that EVERYBODY WHO PAYS TAXES GOT A TAX CUT. Every single tax bracket was lowered. Not just “the wealthy”. In fact, the wealthy’s share of the tax burden has actually gone UP after the Bush tax cut. Before the Bush tax cut, the wealthiest 10% of income earners were paying 64% of our nation’s tax burden. Today, after the across-the-board tax cuts, they are paying 67%! MORE of the share of the nation’s tax burden. Saying that Bush “lowered taxes only for the wealthy” is not just wrong, it’s embarassingly wrong – and shows you’ve bought the Democrat propaganda hook, line and sinker. —————————————————————————-And tax cuts have ALWAYS worked. After the Bush tax cuts, we are now getting MORE revenue than before them, due to the increased economic activity that tax cuts invariably bring. Our deficit is now lower than was expected because of this increased revenue. This has happened every time there’s been a major tax cut. And Democrats used to believe this! Kennedy cut taxes across the board, too – by a much larger margin – 20% HIs reasoning was to spur economic activity and INCREASE revenue. And that’s exactly what happened. You’d think a 20% across the board tax cut would cause a 20% decrease in revenue. Didn’t happen. Our revenue INCREASED due to more economic activity and more taxes being paid. The same thing happened with Reagan’s across the board tax cut. He cut taxes by 30% – and revenues DOUBLED as a result – coming from the economic explosion as a result of the tax cuts. There have been four major tax cuts in the past 100 years, and this has happened every single time. Tax cuts have been PROVEN to work, over and over again, exactly as Conservatives say. The numbers tell the story, despite the propaganda from the left. —————————————————————————–War time is actually a traditional time to rack up a deficit. We did this during the Cold War and during World War II. The increased spending causes deficits. And I agree – Bush IS recklessly spending. But you are wrong, most of his increased spending has come in the form of LIBERAL programs. Aside from the major issues of tax cuts and the War on Terror, Bush has governed like a liberal, without a doubt – he has spent more on social programs than any other President since LBJ. Here’s just some of the liberal things Bush has done: 1. He let Ted Kennedy write the Education Bill, federalizing Education and increasing spending on it over 50% in just four years, whereas Bill Clinton only increased spending on it 30% in his eight years in office. 2. He applied steel tarrifs. 3. He signed the unconstitutional(and completely ineffective thanks to 527s) Campaign Finance reform bill. 4. He signed Tom Daschle’s Farm Bill hand out. 5. He gave us the new Medicare Prescription Drug program – the largest new entitlement program since LBJ. 5. He has increased spending on “anti-poverty” programs over 170% over where they were during the Clinton years. 6. He has done absolutley nothing on illegal immigration – leaving the open borders the liberals have always asked for. 7. Funding for the National Endowment for the Arts has INCREASED. And on and on and on – In fact, Bush HAS thrown money into the Arts(NEA), Education(more increased spending than Clinton), and Healthcare(a whole new entitlement program for Medicare) – so your line of attack is completely baseless and shows you know little beyond what Michael Moore tells you. In fact, the funny thing is that Bush has accomplished far more “liberal” initiatives and spending on programs than Clinton ever did, but liberals are too ignorant and/or too obsessed with Bush hatred to even realize it. And by the way, I oppose all these spending measures as wasteful and harmful—————————————————————————— As for our debt – as a percentage of GDP(the real measure), it is only at an average historical level. Also, Democrats talk a big game about “the deficit”, but they do nothing about it. Just yesterday, Republicans in the Finance committe FINALLY heard their Constituents and proposed to cut $10 billion of fat from the budget – a very small amount, considering our budget this year is $2.6 TRILLION. The vote was 11 to 9 in committe – EVERY DEMOCRAT VOTED AGAINST IT, AND EVERY REPUBLICAN VOTED FOR IT. So, as you can see, the Democrats whine and moan about the deficit, but they don’t put their money where their mouth is when it comes time to do anything about it – they won’t even agree to cutting a paltry $10 billion from our bloated yearly budget. Pathetic.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 12:33 p.m. CST

    So Lincoln was in it?

    by DigitalDong

    Was this before or after he launched the ATHF to the moon on a wooden rocket? Plus this reminds me of the great debate we had in the first Zorro wether or not Zeta-Jone’s character was the reason Hopkins character bought the farm. Ah the memories. I might go see this for a late 90’s flashback.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 12:37 p.m. CST

    Can we get a moment of silence for William Hootkins?

    by Doc_Strange

    Porkins from Star Wars and the army intelligence guy from Raiders of the Lost Ark, and Eckhardt from Batman 89. How come he didn’t get an obit on here? Surprising.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 12:42 p.m. CST

    Dammit Harry killed my Zorro boner….

    by _Kayser_

    with his shallow politics. Just enjoy the movie, bitches!

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 12:50 p.m. CST

    Jesus was not a liberal- I agree 100%, Blue Demon

    by Godardwhowhatnow

    I agree completely. He did ask his followers to sell their clothing and buy a sword, and he referenced the death penalty as an acceptable measure. He also advocated that his followers abandon their families to follow him, and he even turned his back on his own mother at one point (saying to his disciples, ‘you are my family now’). He famously said, “I come not to bring peace, but to bring a sword.” In another fan favorite, after approaching a barren fig tree and hoping to get some fig action, jesus gets so upset that he condemns the fig tree to death. But the real kicker is in Luke 19:27, when jesus says “But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me”. Yowch! Nope, not a liberal. I could think of a lot of interesting adjectives to describe Jesus, and liberal would certainly not be one of them.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 12:57 p.m. CST

    For a writer Vern should learn to spell –

    by Barney Hood

    Its web SITE, not SIGHT!

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 1:01 p.m. CST

    The sword” in the “not peace/sword” Bible verse is…

    by mysteryperfecta

    …figurative. Read the verse in context. He’s talking about the divisive nature of his message.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 1:05 p.m. CST

    “the difference between fictional characters and real people”

    by eraser_x

    What!? Harry and Cameron1, are you guys saying the historical document named “Legend of Zorro” is not real?! By Grabthar’s hammer, I suppose you also think “Galaxy Quest” is, ahem, “fictional”?!?!?!! What a couple of loons you are!

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 1:06 p.m. CST

    Holy monkey

    by brainedchild

    that was funny. Vern should do every review

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 1:06 p.m. CST

    Godardwhowathnow

    by Dagan

    You must read a lot of left-wing anti-Christian sites, but you sure don’t read the Bible in context. The things you’re quoting are from parables Jesus told, and had historical linkings to old stories and parallel occurances taking place at the time. Reading the Parable of the Pounds in context does not produce the result you’re after when quoting out that one line. But good try.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 1:16 p.m. CST

    “If he knew his dad was Zorro he would probaly rebel by never do

    by SnowMann

    Vern is a funny man.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 1:18 p.m. CST

    Dagan

    by DrJerkass

    Wow. You do a lot of research to impress geeks. Do you spend the rest of your day explaining the art of war to people over the Halo headsets. Way to put what sound like good debate skills to waste in a Zorro 2 talkback.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 1:23 p.m. CST

    The majority of today’s Christians may not be terrorists…

    by Some Dude

    …but apparently they still can’t read very well.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 1:35 p.m. CST

    I’m just really disappointed that there’s no Abe Lincoln

    by themikejonas

    I’d definitely go to see a movie where Abe rolls up his sleeves and kicks some ass.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 1:38 p.m. CST

    Zorro only belongs in one kind of movie…

    by Josh Town

    A porn movie. Him and that long sword of his.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 1:46 p.m. CST

    Dagan: Parable of Pounds

    by Godardwhowhatnow

    Context, eh? I’m really glad you brought up the parable of pounds, Dagan. Maybe we can have a more in-depth discussion about it, because it truly is one of the more disturbing aspects of the new testament. In the parable, after a nobleman (obviously meant to represent Jesus) returns from a far away kingdom (heaven) to collect pounds from his servants, he rewards and chastises his servants accordingly. After he is finished chastising a servant for fearfully protecting pounds without putting them to good use, he goes on that final rant about the enemies and the slaying and the egomaniacal

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 1:51 p.m. CST

    Vern is awesome!

    by TarsTarkas.NET

    Another winning review from Vern! And the fact a bunch of crybaby conservatives had their perpetual persecution complexes activated is just icing on the cake.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 1:54 p.m. CST

    Harry just fucks up sometimes.

    by Neo Wolf

    People,people,To the christians here like me lets just chill for a second,i know what harry said was a bit ignorant but i truly believe it was not his intention that his comments came out that way,i thinkhe just tried to be a bit funny but it came out the wrong way,i know ive said some jokes that have come out the wrong way.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 2 p.m. CST

    Neo Wolf

    by DocPazuzu

    No, it didn’t come out the wrong way, it was READ the wrong way. Harry’s not to blame for the shrill alarmism in this TalkBack.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 2:04 p.m. CST

    Harry is like most typical self righteous liberals

    by Thirteen 13

    They almost can’t do or say nearly anything without somehow, someway, figuring out a way to insert politics into it. Just read his reviews ( or actually thats one of 17 reasons why I stopped reading them a while ago) He can baely write anything without comparing it to the current administration or inserting some kind of political note. and as far as his two conservative friends. Liberals are only friends with moderates who lean slightly to the left. To them, thats a conservative. Anything else right of that and your a NAZI.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 2:14 p.m. CST

    Harry, why do you have to inject politics into these reviews?

    by Prince of Space

    Even if your just forwarding inflammatory comments from one of your reviewers (note: NOT asking you to censor, just trying to understand your motivation), time after time we get the same results–90% of the posted comments are devoted to an issue peripheral to the main thrust of the article. I know its kitch to rail on conservatives (or Neocons for those who are attempting to label people they disagree with as NEO-nazis and CON artists) if you happen to be a part of the hollywood elite or affiliated with it to the point of becomming de rigueur. But these back-and-forth ranting and diatribes that litter the talkback serves no identifiable purpose other than to portray this site as catering to political hacks (namely, those on the left). I’m not tyring to tell you how to run your site or what you should or should not censor. However, I can tell you that as someone who enjoys movie news and related items, I find myself frequenting this site less and less.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 2:16 p.m. CST

    yay for Harry!

    by jrbarker

    speak your mind brother!

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 2:22 p.m. CST

    A baker’s dozen American dollars…

    by Childe Roland

    …to whomever can guess Thirteen 13’s age based on the content, grammar and syntax of his last post. Believe it or not, liberals and conservatives and moderates can be friendly in social settings if they adhere to the basic rules of decorum, which dictate that religion and politics are better left off the table when drinks are placed upon it. Hell, I enjoy a healthy governmental or theological debate with just about anyone who leans one way or the other on their philosophical teeter totter. But if there’s booze involved, I’d just as soon stick to quoting the Simpsons (for the classicists) or Family Guy (for the post modernists). You can also usually talk movies pretty harmlessly while drinking, unless those movies have strong political undertones (like The Frighteners or Inspector Gadget). That’s the problem with all of you guys who are so riled up over this review and Harry’s politics. You’re clearly drunk (or pre-pubescent).

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 2:38 p.m. CST

    Ah shit, I knew I should’ve left that paragraph out

    by Vern

    The point I was trying to make was that people like Michael Medved and some of the angry people in this talkback might find some symbolism in this that they will like because you could compare the California constitution that is a big part of the plot to the recently ratified Iraq constitution. But on the other hand somebody like me or Harry might compare the bad guys to the Dick Cheney Nightmare Squad, like I did in the review and Harry did in the introduction. So whatever ridiculous notions you have about the world you will probaly think Zorro agrees with you. The only reason I brought christianity into it is because one of the bad guys always preaches christianity while not practicing it, I saw that as a possible metaphor for Islamic terrorists who do the same to their religion. Zorro himself is very religious, he has the padre as his commissioner Gordo, he hides out in the church, and at one point he comes and screams at a statue of the virgin Mary for guidance. But he doesn’t going around spouting Bible verses at people while trying to kill them. Anyway that’s all I was trying to say with that one paragraph of my review and now I regret it because honestly I can’t stand that I have upset a bunch of crazy people who are afraid of Al Franken. That tears up my heart. Now excuse me I gotta go prepare for my patriotic Indictment Day fireworks display.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 3:24 p.m. CST

    Anthony Hopkins

    by flossygomez

    He made this movie good. No Anthony, me no see.

    I find it funny that the United States pretty much ass fucked mexicans to get California. This movie is the height of irony.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 3:32 p.m. CST

    Afraid of Al Franken? Hardly.

    by Blue_Demon

    The more the man speaks, the more he makes my point clearer to those with reason and without agenda. The difference I have noticed between conservatives and liberals is that conservatives actually LIKE reading/watching liberals…I mean…if we debate them, we have to know their points of view, correct? Conservative talk however, is almost always hysterically put down as “hate radio” and ignored or shouted down. Try and say some of this stuff at a University. Wear earplugs…those screams are loud.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 3:32 p.m. CST

    didn’t william hootkins die years ago?

    by jig98

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 3:45 p.m. CST

    liberals=open minded…conservatives=closed minded

    by FrodosBlueBalls

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 3:58 p.m. CST

    FodosBlueBalls – That’s about the dumbest thing that’s b

    by Dagan

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 4:01 p.m. CST

    I’m on to you Godardwhowhathow

    by Spangler

    You represent something that is dishonest and bitter.

    Nice interpretation of the disturbing New Testament. Geesh.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 4:05 p.m. CST

    The thought of a kid having funny fights in this movie is DISTUR

    by scrumdiddly

    Potentially ruinous.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 4:05 p.m. CST

    bunch of hypocrites

    by ILK

    One mention of anything liberal and it’s all about that “hollywood liberal elite” crap again. Yet one mention of jesus and a star is “so brave”. Look, if you bring your politics into the limelight, people are going to poke fun at you. Well, at least the south park guys will. But these days one mention of religion and you are due some kind of requisite respect. Bullshit. Respect my atheism for once you fucking REAL elitists. Yeah, I didn’t think so. Eat my stink. …. I swear sometimes… if most of you believed the world was flat, people who claimed in public that it was not would be considered “elitists”. Religions will get my respect when they stay out of my rights. Until then, justify your fucking existance.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 4:06 p.m. CST

    paradox

    by Spangler

    saying “liberals=open-minded..conservatives=closed minded” is by definition a “closed minded” statement.

    This is similar to people who say they don’t believe in right or wrong… but if you are someone who DOES believe in right or wrong… you’re WRONG!

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 4:14 p.m. CST

    yeah..

    by ILK

    I know plenty of open minded conservatives. Seriously. That’s an unfair thing to say. We have uninformed yappers on both sides. Like little terriers.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 4:15 p.m. CST

    Great, review, Vern!

    by OBSD

    I thought somebody on this board should comment on the actual review, so here it is: Seriously Vern, that one review had more amazing one-liners than a cokehead at Henny Youngman’s house. And to all you neocons with yur panties in a twist: at this point you’ve got to know what Harry’s politics are. Dig it or shut the fuck up. Even though he didn’t actually say what you thought he said. Morons.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 4:16 p.m. CST

    dagan…prove me wrong please

    by FrodosBlueBalls

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 4:18 p.m. CST

    this is how i see things

    by FrodosBlueBalls

    LIBERALS say “I’ve got my life and you’ve got yours. I’m not going to tell you how to live your life and you don’t tell me how to live mine” …. CONSERVATIVES say “i’ve got my life and I don’t give a fuck about your life and if your way of life doesn’t match mine then you are wrong and are going to hell.”

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 4:20 p.m. CST

    Hey liberals

    by JackieJokeman

    When Jesus talks about giving to the poor hes talking about giving your own money, not voiting to give the poor your neighbors money. Not that you actually thought the J-man meant that. You guys dont believe in the J-man. You guys were just using the J-man to justify socialism. You guys are weak.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 4:25 p.m. CST

    JackieJokeman

    by DocPazuzu

    Right, because as we know, Jesus has never been used to justify anything dispicable on the other end of the spectrum. Oh, and anyone who uses the term “J-man” with a straight face is “weak.”

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 4:25 p.m. CST

    Hey, Jackie

    by Cameron1

    Plenty of christians would disagree with you. But really that’s not the point. Point it giving money to the poor should be done by EVERYONE who can afford it. I don’t mean straight out benefits or handouts, but if someone is about to die or become homeless our society can afford to help them. If only because it costs LESS to do it then than waiit until they become homeless and turn to crime. Sheesh.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 4:28 p.m. CST

    Frodo: you’re so right.

    by OBSD

    Jokeman: You’re sooooooooo wrong. So I guess “turn the other cheek” doesn’t apply to international politics. That’s the problem with Christians. They want to make the Bible apply to everybody, but only the parts they like. Homos? kill ’em all. Charity? “That’s a personal thing and I can’t force anybody else to be charitable.” Why not? You can force people to not have the same rights as others ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY, why can’t you legislate charity? Oh, I see. When it comes to hate, you’re deeply religious, but when it comes to love? Meh. “The bible doesn’t really say love everybaody and don’t judge others. That’s a misconception”. Yu guys are so fucking nuts it makes my teeth itch.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 4:32 p.m. CST

    Wait….isn’t this the Farenheit 9/11 Talkback?

    by Mick The Knife

    Jesus H. Christ on a pogo stick. Can the political extremists *please* go back to the O’Reilly Factor boards and the NPR website? Last I looked, this was a *movie* Talkback… Oh, and Banderas *rocked* as Zorro last time. He needs to do more swashbluckling…or maybe something in the Indiana Jones genre. Looking forward to Legend!

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 4:33 p.m. CST

    You cant legislate charity obviously

    by JackieJokeman

    Because if you have to give or face jail time its not charity. And where did I endorse the killing of “homos”? Or the iraq war? Man, and I thought Christians were intollerant.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 4:52 p.m. CST

    Even the Devil can quote scripture…

    by Childe Roland

    …and I understand he plays one mean fiddle as well. Seriously, kids, whatever happened to “Do unto others…?” When I look at the J-Man’s philosophies (and, thanks to whatever nitwit stuck that moniker for the Man Jesus in my head), that seems to be the one that makes the most sense. Apparently Zorro really wanted someone to carve a Z on his ass with a sword and look at the way the J-Man rewarded him with the sword-brandishing Kathryn Zeta Jones in that first flick. You can bet the J-Man was down with the concept of Karma and paying shit forward, not back. He was one smart motherfucker. Died badly, though.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 4:57 p.m. CST

    FrodosBlueBalls – “Prove” you’re wrong?

    by Dagan

    You said “Liberals are open-minded and Conservatives are closed-minded.” You left it at that, without providing any sort of supporting evidence either way, but now it’s incumbent upon ME to prove YOU “wrong”? Hardly. If you’re to make such a charge, you better not just throw up some silly sentence like that without a supporting argument to back it up.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 5:01 p.m. CST

    THe J-Man and “paying it forward”.

    by JackieJokeman

    Nowhere in scripture does it mention that terrible movie or Kevin Spacey for that matter. Well, unless you count the part about the sodomites.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 5:09 p.m. CST

    Dagan:

    by Deagle2

    well said, man. Notice how most of the critics to your posts can’t dispute the basic facts that you’ve presented so they change the subject. And as most people have already figured out, Harry loves injecting his simple politics into posts on AICN. It’s the only way to ensure that there will be a huge response on the message boards of his now irrelevant site.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 5:14 p.m. CST

    Christians

    by Fireball XL-5

    Has it ever occurred to some of you that most Christians are just average people who do not fit into the ugly stereotypes used to define them? That would include Harry’s condescending description of “today’s peace-loving Jesus-lovers.” Honestly, most of us are simply making our way through the world just like non-Christians, trying to understand life and have a good time. The fact that our very existance can raise some of your hackles so easily should give you pause for reflection. Seriously.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 5:15 p.m. CST

    How FrodosBlueBalls sees things…

    by Dagan

    You say that liberals say “I’ve got my life and you’ve got yours, I’m not going to tell you how to live your life, etc.” And Conservatives, you say, are basically the opposite. Now I’m a Libertarian, so my philosophy truly is “let me live my life and I’ll let you live yours” – and being on that side, I’m much more inclined to vote for Republicans over Democrats, because liberals are the ones who interfere with my life on a much larger level than Republicans or Conservatives do. Let’s look at some of the ways liberals interfere with our lives far more than Conservatives: ————————————–Taxes: I pay about a third of my income to the Government in income taxes, taxes on goods and services, and other embedded taxes – pulled from my hands at the point of a gun. Now that’s a pretty damn big strike agains the “leave me alone” argument you were making. Liberals are proponents of higher taxation, and Conservatives smaller – what larger test of “leave me alone” can there be than the forcible taking of the fundamental earnings of one’s labor? ————————————— Property – liberals on the Supreme Court just said that local and county governments can TAKE private property from one individual and hand it off to another if they see “benefit” to such an action(or, one presumes, if a good friend of the town council member asks his buddy if he can take somebody else’s land for him). They basically just crossed off the “public use” clause in the Constitution. The three Conservatives on the Court at the time, Rehnquist, Thomas and Scalia, along with the wishy washy but fairly Conservative moderate Sandra Day O’Connor – were against this abhorrent decision. Is there any greater way to “interfere” with your life than by letting the government take your property and give it to another at will? Thanks, liberals – now we all essentially don’t own ANY property – if it can be taken from you in an instant by your local government, then you don’t really “own” it at all. —————————————– Speech codes. Go to almost any college campus and endure their “speech codes” – where they enforce the certain kinds of speech they like and don’t like. Too long to detail the outrageous stories about college speech codes here – but this obvious interference into your life have beenn brought to you by, you guessed it, LIBERALS. —————————————- “Diversity” quotas and other such nonsense. Preferences for admissions to colleges, businesses working with the government, etc. It limits choice and breaks people down into competing groups instead of treating everybody as individuals. This interference into your life has been brought to you by liberals. ————————————— Campaign Finance Reform. Yes, this was McCain and Feingold, but McCain is a liberal Republican, disliked by the Conservative base. And Conservatives hated that Bush signed this Unconstitutional law. This has always been a Liberal/Conservative issues, with Conservatives against it. Liberals now want to limit my freedom by telling me how much money I can give to a political candidate, or when I can air ads in support of a candidate of my choice. A clear “interference” in my free choice and life. —————————————- Senseless overregulation of business. Brought to you by liberals, who are the reason I have to go through mountains of paperwork to run my company, and have to jump through hoops even if I want to build a building in town – ON MY OWN LAND. Thanks for interfering with my life again, liberals. ———————————–I could literally go on and on and on here – but the point is made. Now Conservatives. How do they really “interefere” with my life? People will say “gay marriage” – but how are Conservatives really interfering with that? They are calling for the Democratic process to define marriage one way that you don’t like. I’m all for gay marraige, but the Republicans calling for laws against it are a damn bit better than liberals trying to enshrine it as a “right” in UNELECTED courts. I’ll take the elected will of the people over that, thank you. And what has actually happened? Nothing. There is no gay marraige Constitutional Amendment, and no hope for one ever actually passing. The Conservative things that would “limit freedom”, almost always amount to a bunch of noise and little else. The real consequence of limitation of my rights comes from liberals – their freedom-limiting policies OFTEN get passed for real and always seem to have a more real-world consequence for me as a Libertarian than anything the Conservatives just make noise about. I get MORE freedom from Conservatives than I do liberals. That’s why I vote for Conservatives over liberals – because as a Libertarian, I have to vote for the people who will have the least negative effect on my freedom.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 6:35 p.m. CST

    WIlliam Hootkins died on Sunday, October 23 from cancer

    by Doc_Strange

    I would have thought someone would have put up an article remembering his career as this site puts up a lot of the more obscure names that only a select few would know about.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 6:45 p.m. CST

    To FunmazerX:

    by Arachnyd

    You don’t think theres such a thing as christian terrorists? Who the fuck do you think is blowing up abortion clinics then, Santa?

    Timothy McVeigh is also known to have been hanging out with radical christian isolationists shortly before his attack.

    I’m more afraid of the far-right in this country then I am of any islamic terrorists.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 7:06 p.m. CST

    Arachnyd – sorry – not a lot of that really going on

    by Dagan

    Eric Rudolph, the Olympic Park and Abortion Clinic bomber and “Christian Terrorist”, for instance? He wasn’t a Christian at all – Here’s what he said on the subject: ———–“Most of them have, of course, an agenda; mostly born-again Christians looking to save my soul. I suppose the assumption is made that because I

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 7:06 p.m. CST

    Arachnyd

    by Blue_Demon

    Every faith has its fanatics. Yes, McVeigh murdered many in OKC and some people have used Christianity’s name in the blowing up of abortion clinics. However, saying that you fear right-wing Christians more than Islamic fundamentalists is going a bit too far ( it’s stupid actually ). The murderous actions of McVeigh and his fellow nuts are condemned by Christianity at large. The murderous actions of Bin-Laden, Zarqowi ( spelling? ) and others are followed by a strange silence from the majority of Muslims. Not all Muslims are terrorists…but strangely, almost all terrorists are Muslims. I think you’re fearing the wrong group bud. The most us Christians will do is try and give you the good news about Jesus.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 7:39 p.m. CST

    Yeah Dagan, because the righties just used the Gay Constitutiona

    by iamnicksaicnsn

    scare the uneducated into think it would be a problem. They aren’t talking about it now, because, like abortion, they don’t care what happens and only care about votes.——– As for campaign finance reform, it’s not that we want to restrict how much money you can give, we want to restrict the bullshit favors that politicians give to the people who can give them the most money. ———-As for overregulation, again, there are cases where deregulation is good, but there are clear cases where de-regulation is fucking awful. Look at Enron, think they were for regulation? Look at the media, who are now owned by 5 COMPANIES TOTAL. You think we’re getting everything we’re supposed to? When the news is run by the nielsen’s, we have a fucking problem. ————- As for diversity quotas? No one is saying that the democrats do everything perfectly, but at least they are trying. Conservatives hate public schools, or at least Bush and his buddies do, which is why Leave No Child Behind, a good program, isn’t being any where near fully funded. —- Then, taxes. Like I said, Democrats don’t have everything perfect. CLinton wasn’t the best president ever, by far. But this country pays ridiculously little taxes compared to other bigger countries, and that’s actually not the problem. The problem is the fact that there’s so much fucking bureaucracy that needs to be cleaned up. That’s a problem on both sides of the isle. ————- Now Property. That was a fucked up thing, for sure, and you’ll find on many liberal blogs that there is a lot of outrage from those of us sane people on the left. Hopefully, that thing where that group is trying to put a hotel on that one SCJs estate works out. ———- Now let’s go to your other long paragraph… The tax cuts! You saying that everyone got a tax cut is a ridiculous excuse. Just because Joe Trailer-Trash got $50, doesn’t mean he’s better off. And as for the 10% paying more, that’s actually an argument for us lefties, because the real middle class is getting shafted while the upper echelons of the 1% (and not the entire 1%, because there are plenty in the top 1% that might be rich in places like kentucky, kansas, alabama, in comparison, it’s tough trying to keep your well paying job in an expensive city) get there tens of thousands of dollars in tax cuts and get the estate tax repealed, which really only helps the likes of Paris Hilton, and their like. ————- And now Bush’s “liberal” policies (which is another funny argument, because you politely forget to mention his insane conservative ones, like the repealing of the Davis-Bacon Act after Katrina, which just today, I believe, he reinstated because sensible people in the Senate realized what jackasses they’d look like if they didn’t do something about it) 1. Education Bill “No Child Left Behind.” I already talked about that, he’s not fully funding what he promised. 2. Steel tariffs: don’t know much about them, so I’ll move onto… 3. Campaign Finance Reform, again, already talked about it. But at least 527s aren’t allowed to have any affiliation with anybody, despite their lies from BOTH sides. 4. Farm bill: don’t know much about… 5. Drug Bill, another fuck up. Takes away a lot of money and is a big hand-out to the drug companies. 6. Immigration: Yeah, he’s a fucking tool, and the democrats who support this are tools, but you don’t see many companies who employ those cheap non-american workers making too much a stink about it. 7. Good, I hope he supports arts. ————– As for the repubs wanting to cut “fat” as you say, you don’t mention what those cuts were for, is it possible that along with the real pork, there were some important programs in there? Look, I’m not saying you are, but there are a lot of assholes out there that say “well, what do I have to pay for others educations for? why do i have to pay for someone else’s grandma’s social security?” Why? Because a smart country makes lots of money, and people are going to be paying for YOUR social security some day. Maybe not even when you’re old, what happens if you get crippled or suffer some other serious injury? So look, there’s shit on both sides, but you and I are apparently looking in totally different directions.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 7:49 p.m. CST

    “Most terrorists are muslims”

    by iamnicksaicnsn

    That’s because Muslim’s have been getting the short end of the stick for quite a while. Anyone forget the Christian Massacres of Muslims in the Middle East near Israel maybe 50 years ago? Anyone stop to think that maybe those Jewish settlements in the West Bank and Gaza Strip are actually occupied territories? Anyone stop to think that there are plenty of Israelis who think that the OCCUPATION OF PALESTINE is illegal and bad for their national security? Anyone check out the fact that Barak’s proposal at Camp David with Clinton and Arafat called for the complete control of Palestinian water supplies by Israel, and Israeli-only roads occupying Palestinian land? Anyone want to question why we give so much fucking money and arms to Israel? NOW LOOK, I’M NOT AN ANIT-SEMITE, AND I’M NOT ADVOCATING TERRORISM BY MUSLIMS. I am for a safe Israel. But when you fuck people over that bad, they tend to do desperate, stupid things. What the NEOCONS WANT, is not an Israeli state, they want to rebuild the Kingdom of David, so that JESUS WILL RETURN! Because according to the Bible, that’s supposedly how it works… oh, and there’s also a little passage in there about how the last tree has to fall, so there’s a little talk about polluting the world… but that’s just, you know, a little passage…

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 8:35 p.m. CST

    To Blue_Demon:

    by Arachnyd

    What I mean is I fear neocons and other christian activists more then islamic terrorists because they represent a more serious threat to America. Terrorists can only kill you, while conservatives are ruining America by keeping it from adapting. This country used to be a shining beacon of progress, and that doesns’t seem to be true anymore.

    And besides, I don’t really fear terrorism at all. The odds are better I’ll be struck by lightning then get killed in a terrorist attack. I’m more afraid of how Bush uses terrorism as an excuse to strip away civil liberties. I’m more afraid of how gullible the American people are to make terrorism the most important part of the 2004 election when there are so many more important socio-economic issues that need to be dealt with.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 8:48 p.m. CST

    Dagan I don’t have the time to write an essay like you so I

    by FrodosBlueBalls

    ABORTION. Righties don’t agree with it so they don’t want ANYBODY to have it. Now do I believe in abortion…no…but just b/c I don’t doesn’t mean you our anybody you know can’t have one. If I wanted to live in a society that dictated shit like that, then I’d go overseas. So fuck off with your essay that you no doubtedly copied from some other forum. I am sorry for turning this talkback into a political forum. I promised myself I wouldn’t be that guy. Anyways a repeat of Lost is on….seeya!

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 9:03 p.m. CST

    Not to worry, Vern

    by Immortal_Fish

    Pat Robertson ain’t gonna wake you up anytime soon and go, “Boogah! Boogah!”

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 9:10 p.m. CST

    “religion and politics are better left off the table when drinks

    by Immortal_Fish

    Great point! Yet heavy handed of you to paint only one side with the broad brush. Besides, this is AICN, and as site admins would have it, drinks are on the house.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 9:28 p.m. CST

    You know,its pretty sad…

    by Neo Wolf

    Its pretty sad that everytime the talk backs turns into political/religious debates,and shit,every single fucking time.Im sure when a chicken little review comes in there will be heated debates about politics and christianity insted of talking about the film.I have to say that harry and company do encourage this,but its his site so what the hell.I dont even know why i posted this post,everyone knows how the TB are.Atleast we can all agree that Kevin Smith sucks.

    :)

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 10 p.m. CST

    Sarcasm and credibility

    by jorson2

    “We all know that in the modern age, Christians are lovely people that don’t try to force their ideals upon others by blowing shit up…” – Harry Knowles

    Take it from someone who has made the mistake himself — being sarcastic about anything political reveals very personal motivations and RUINS credibility. As for Bush messing everything up, well, can’t much argue, but I’d rather have a President that TRIED to do something and made mistakes in the process than one that just followed opinion polls, went on MTV, spouted “inadvertent” one-liners and screwed interns while coming up with meaningless peace treaties for nations halfway across the world. And by the way, that wasn’t sarcasm — everything I mentioned happened to Clinton, was something he did or happened in his administration.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 10:07 p.m. CST

    Antonio Banderas

    by Skylarkca

    I am looking forward to seeing the new Zorro movie. Antonio Banderas, those eyes, that walk, how he sits a horse ;) Not all floppy like “some” actors… he is the ultimate Zorro!

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 10:22 p.m. CST

    I’d rather have a President that TRIED to do something and m

    by Lou C.

    WOW. Is that what we’re calling it now? I wouldn’t even know where to begin …

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 10:29 p.m. CST

    Notice how the Bush followers want to control everything?

    by Rant Breath

    Including this talkback. Fucking fascists.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 10:37 p.m. CST

    Conservatives Sure Are Stupid

    by bushsux

    Before all the no life, no woman having conservatives on this site start calling me a socialist, communist because I don’t agree with them, let me tell you a little secret. That horrific FEMA response to the hurricane in New Orleans? If you voted for Bush last November that is partly your fault. The 2000 dead soldiers in Iraq? That’s your fault if you voted for Bush in 2000 and/or 2004. The fact that the rest of the world laughs at us now? That is your fault if you voted for Bush. It’s your fault you put this guy into office. It’s your fault if you let yourself be manipulated by hacks like Rush Limbaugh and Bill O’Reilly. You may be a republican, but you are still an American and you owe yourself and your country better than to listen to Fox News and right-wing radio for your political opinions.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 10:58 p.m. CST

    Bushsux You Liberal Jerk. Go screw a homo or a black guy.

    by smorris09

    I’m sick of hearing liberals criticize President Bush. Who cares about a bunch of blacks in New Orleans? These people are too poor, to stupid and too dark to learn how to swim. That isn’t the President’s fault. I am a conservative because I know the Republican Party is all that stands between my white race and the Mexicans, Blacks, Ragheads and Faggots. America is a White Christian country and you liberals will never change that. That’s why I support this President and support the Republican Party.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11 p.m. CST

    America is a White Christian Country

    by smorris09

    And it will stay that way as long as fine Americans like George W. Bush, George Allen and Dick Cheney keep winning elections. Keep whining democrats

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:06 p.m. CST

    To Lou C.

    by jorson2

    “Is that what we’re calling it now?”

    Who is “we?”

    And to smorris09, would you rather it be an every-race-but-Caucasian / every-religion-but-Christian nation?

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:09 p.m. CST

    is this the ZORRO talkback?

    by Thunder Mammoth

    holy fucking dumbshits!?!

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:11 p.m. CST

    I Want This Country to Remain White and Christian, That’s Wh

    by smorris09

    Liberals are the biggest scourge to this country. They can whine and bitch all they want but White Christian conservatives like myself will continue to beat tree-hugging n-lovers like Kerry.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:21 p.m. CST

    oh my god….

    by slappy jones

    ….you guys are totally awesome…please can i hangout with you…..please……harry, quint…whoever, please ban these pricks.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:22 p.m. CST

    haha nazi-klukluxklan fuckers

    by Rant Breath

    some people never learn.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:26 p.m. CST

    “Wake up, white people”

    by IAmLegolas

    I don’t know what’s funnier… Vern’s Review or these TB’s. Holy crap is the Earth filled with idiots.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:27 p.m. CST

    smorris, MORE PROOF CONSERVATIVES ARE SMART

    by bushsux

    Now I’m not going to go so far as to say that all conservatives on agree with your racism and ignorance, but maybe, just maybe, many republicans agree with you. If that’s the case, why should I even bother trying to argue with these conservatives. White people are supposed to be the master race so why should I go against their party?

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:34 p.m. CST

    I don’t care if you liberals try to censor me, you still can

    by smorris09

    This is my country and I’m taking it back from the liberals. Here in Virginia we’re finally going to get rid of this liberal piece of crap Mark Warner and put in a conservative, Jerry Kilgore. Haha! Eat shit dems. And bushsux, I hope you’re not white because if you are than you are a traitor to your own race. Just like how Kerry is a traitor to the white race, so are you.

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:37 p.m. CST

    *Shermdawg enters the talkback to shoot the poop on zorro, and m

    by Shermdawg

    *He begins to type up his post, but notices the direction this topic has taken. He then decides to forget the post altogether and to get the hell out of this thread.*

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:40 p.m. CST

    *Before leaving, Shermdawg notices that he has one more reason t

    by Shermdawg

  • Oct. 26, 2005, 11:50 p.m. CST

    Notice

    by flossygomez

    That when I brought politics into it it actually had something to do with the fucking movie. I will pray for the asteroid to come, covered in bird flu infected bird shit.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 12:01 a.m. CST

    Uh – guys – you can’t tell that this “smorris09” guy isn&#39

    by Dagan

    Incredible that you guys are taking such nonsense at face value. No actual Conservative talks that way – his post is obvious parody, but you guys are so clueless and so in the dark about what actual Conservatism is that you’re taking it as some kind of actual Conservative sentitment. Unbelievable.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 12:02 a.m. CST

    I love…

    by CondomWrapper

    To masturbate with baby oil to pictures of Zeta-Jones’ erotic little feet. Oh golly they get me hot! Try lubing up with baby oil the next time you watch Zorro and I bet you’ll have one helluva good jizz session.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 12:03 a.m. CST

    Hey Dagan Stop Feeding Liberals Facts

    by 900LBGorilla

    Thats just cruel man- you have gone too far…(Next thing you know you’ll start pointing out how “Clinton’s” Economy was realy the result of the legistltation written by the Contract with America Congress- when every self respecting Liberal knows CLinton Drafted all that legistlation he signed when the polls and elections swung the “right” way).

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 12:04 a.m. CST

    STAR WARS EPISODE III WILL OWN YOUR ASS!!!

    by CondomWrapper

    Because this talkback needs to lighten up.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 12:24 a.m. CST

    MICHAEL BAY SUCKS

    by SnowMann

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 12:47 a.m. CST

    Bushsux-but he sux less than any liberal.

    by 900LBGorilla

    And Bushsux- You are simply ignorant. I dot have the time to go over the deeper details of basic government with yet another Liberal on this subject, but if you think

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 12:53 a.m. CST

    Harry – eloquently put.

    by s00p3rm4n

    Actual, real, mad props to you. For being a man of conviction.

    They’re rare in this fucking town.

    /bitter film student

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 12:57 a.m. CST

    The 2

    by Darth Maui

    I like this reviewer’s writing style; therefore, I will see the movie. Actually I was going to see the movie anyways but now I might see it a day sooner than originally planned. And I liked the Matrix comment.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 12:58 a.m. CST

    Dagan, I put up my comments against yours, will you comment on m

    by iamnicksaicnsn

    I’m actually surprisd some psychotic hasn’t gone crazy, especially with what I said about Israel and Palestine… Maybe my posts were just too damn long?

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 1:01 a.m. CST

    The bible not only supports official charity but commands it

    by antonphd

    when ye reap the harvest of your land, thou shalt not wholly reap the corners of thy field, neither shalt thou gather the gleanings of thy harvest. 10 And thou shalt not glean thy vineyard, neither shalt thou gather every grape of thy vineyard; thou shalt leave them for the poor and stranger.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 1:02 a.m. CST

    The 2

    by Darth Maui

    Harry said: “and witnessed the political corruption from inside the party circa the Nixon era – which in turn made them morally shift to being Independent Liberals as a result of their disgust with that party.”

    So your parents switched parties because certain Republicans weren’t living up to their stated ideals? This whole liberal vs. conservative thing isn’t even about living by correct principles. It is all about picking a team and rooting for it no matter what. That’s why I don’t pick a side. If your parents belonged to the Republican party it should’ve been because there were principles about it they admired, not people. You can “switch” to the Democratic party and find out there’s plenty of messed up people there too but then after you’ve already “made the change” all you can do is say, “Oh, well. I guess I’ll just stick with this now anyway.”

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 1:02 a.m. CST

    Oh, 900LbGorilla, I guess it doesn’t matter that Chertoff sa

    by iamnicksaicnsn

    and I guess it doesn’t matter that Bush decided that it was a good idea to put FEMA into Homeland Security, while putting a dumb ass in who decided that it was more important to have a nice quiet dinner than save people while his own people were telling him that they were shitting in the Superdome hallways with 30,000 of their dear friends. And I guess it doesn’t matter that Chertoff also took a little blame, but mostly blamed FEMA’s lack of planning.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 1:09 a.m. CST

    So, before you say what the bible says

    by antonphd

    about charity. Why don’t you actually read it. Fucking selfish fuckers make me embaressed to believe in God. I will go head to head with any dumb fucker who thinks he knows what the bible says about shit. I don’t give a shit that someone else doesn’t know what they are talking about. But I do give a shit when someone wants to oppress people and they use the bible to do it. Burn in fucking hell with the televangelists assholes.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 1:11 a.m. CST

    not to mention

    by SnowMann

    I guess it doesn’t matter that this was a review of The Legend of Zorro and was in no way offensive towards anyone who actually read it except maybe people who disliked Zorro 1?

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 1:13 a.m. CST

    The 2

    by Darth Maui

    “I guess it doesn’t matter that this was a review of The Legend of Zorro and was in no way offensive towards anyone who actually read it except maybe people who disliked Zorro 1?”

    It wasn’t even offensive to them.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 1:38 a.m. CST

    good point

    by SnowMann

    Well played darth maui…. well played.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 2:59 a.m. CST

    Anyway, as I was saying

    by Vern

    something about Zorro, I think. (Hey Immortal Fish: Why am I supposed to think Pat Robertson is gonna wake me up? I’m so confused.)

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 8:11 a.m. CST

    iamnicksaicnsn – I’m sorry – I intend to comment back to you

    by Dagan

    I appreciate that your comments back to mine were some of substance, and you actually decided to address each point I gave in full, instead of just offering some hit and run comment like most people have done here. You actually broke it down point by point and answered back, which is what I like to do as well. That’s real conversation, and it makes me think that you and I could actually get somewhere together in a discussion. Unfortunately, I’m right in the middle of a tough edit with a deadline, and so I’ve been trying to muster up the time to answer you back substantively as well. I will answer your posts, though – however it may take me a bit to find the time. Hang tight, and we can certainly continue our discussion.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 8:30 a.m. CST

    To Arachnyd

    by Blue_Demon

    That’s an understandable fear. Now…which civil liberties of yours have been taken away?

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 8:37 a.m. CST

    Why isn’t Christian terrorist a viable phrase, then? Love Da

    by DavidHume

    If a Christian murders someone, in cold blood, for a political reason then they’re a Christian terrorist. Being offended doesn’t make that untrue, does it.

    The problem is, while there are lots of nice, non-violent, kind, forgiving religious people, there are a lot who aren’t. People who believe in a god or whatever are by definition extremists since they don’t countenance any relative/alternative truth. We had an Enlightenment a couple of hundred years ago, it’s about time you Yanks grew up and left your mumbo jumbo superstition “ooh i’m scared im gonna die!!” stuff behind

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 8:46 a.m. CST

    More like Dagan is searching other forums for comebacks.

    by FrodosBlueBalls

    Zorro 1 rocked and so will Zorro 2.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 8:55 a.m. CST

    FrodosBlueBalls – Making an ass of yourself is not going to eras

    by Dagan

    At least Iamnicksaicnsn attempted to answer me back point by point – you didn’t have much to say(except about abortion, which I will also answer soon). I’m sorry I have an actual job to work on, but don’t worry, I’ll get back to you guys soon. Just a few more scenes to edit first…

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 9:39 a.m. CST

    Vern is the Sportsguy of AICN, and that’s a good thing

    by bobleeswagger

    seriously, great review, always good for a laugh.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 9:40 a.m. CST

    Dagan

    by FrodosBlueBalls

    Are you an editor now? Because in your earlier post you said you build buildings?

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 10:23 a.m. CST

    FrodosBlueBalls

    by Dagan

    The buildings i was referring to are soundstages. I am currently editing the first indendent feature film from our company.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 10:26 a.m. CST

    Wow, you guys are a hoot!

    by Childe Roland

    First, Jokeman, I said “paying shit forward,” not “Pay It Forward.” It was more a nod to My Name is Earl than a reference to the Spacey flick. Nice homophobia, though. You pick that up in prison? And speaking of homophobes and racists and the like, I really feel bad for all the rational conservatives trying to make points about the possible insensitivity of Harry’s playing up Vern’s completely inoffensive (in context) comments about Christian terrorists and neocons. Don’t guys like the Jokeman, smorris and lotrfan12 make you just want to scream “Get the fuck off my side, dumbass!?” That’s okay. The liberals have their crosses to bear, too (like Michael Moore). And as for Blue_Demon, where are you getting the “most terrorists are Muslim” stuff? I’d love to see the study that proves that wild allegation. “Excuse me, sir. We’re from the world census bureau and we’re trying to get a handle on which cultures and religions are most to blame for the use of terror as a political tactic in the modern world. Can I ask if you are a terrorist?” Terrorists come in all shapes, sizes and flavors. That includes both Muslim and Christian assholes. Even atheists have been known to employ fear as a weapon and/or bargaining chip. And let’s not forget those Eco-Terrorists the FBI recently upgraded to the top of the U.S. domestic threat list. I don’t think they’re bowing to Mecca. Last, but not least, I love the folks who excuse dumbshit behavior by their parties’ presidents, saying stuff like “Well, he may have lied about the sex and cheated on his wife and tried to convince the entire U.S. population they were stupid, but it doesn’t really reflect on his ability to do his job” or “He may have lied about the WMDs and fucked up the economy and given his friends a lot of favors and tried to convince the entire U.S. population they were stupid, but at least he did stuff.” A fuckup is a fuckup and, personally, I’d rather have someone who knew what he or she was doing running the country without all the trial and error. You all deserve better than what you’ve been forcing yourselves to settle for (well…except maybe you racist, homophobic assholes. You deserve what you get). Let’s all try to look at the candidates – all of them – with some objectivity and the best interests of the nation and the world we all share in mind next time out, huh?

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 10:47 a.m. CST

    I smell bullshit….

    by FrodosBlueBalls

    …Dagan, just admit you stole that from another website…and the reason I know you did is b/c I’ve read it before, I just dont know where…and I don’t buy the “soundstages” excuse. You just got caught up in your own lie asshole. Go on and pretend you’re important now..buh bye.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 10:51 a.m. CST

    You libs think us Republicans are dumb and yet we win every elec

    by smorris09

    Can’t you libs see what the Bush administration did? They used the hurrican to flush out all the welfare coons and fried chicken eaters out of Louisiana. That state needed to be cleaned up. The only problem I see with what the President did was that some of those monkeys might end up showing up to my state. Now if we can just get rid of these taco eating border jumpers like Banderas we could finally get this take this country back for White Christians.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 11:19 a.m. CST

    Republicans SUCK! Democrats SUCK! Religion SUCKS! Politics SUCK!

    by Shermdawg

    I just had to get that off my chest. Nuff said. Nuff said.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 11:24 a.m. CST

    Sorry for that outburst. Now back to Zorro…

    by Shermdawg

    If there is ever a direct-to-dvd sequel, I’d love to see Chris Kattan and Horatio Sanz star. “No, no, too sexy!!!” “But I must!”

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 11:24 a.m. CST

    Abe Lincoln vs. Yoda

    by barryap

    Now THAT would be a fight scene…probably have crappy CG though.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 11:25 a.m. CST

    Welcome to Planet Republican.

    by admkirk

    On this planet, the white race is the master race, invading countries that never attacked us is good for world peace, cutting rich people’s taxes helps the poor, outsourcing jobs overseas is good for the economy, picking unqualified people to go to the Supreme Court and head FEMA is smart governing and evolution never happened. How do you get to this wondrous world? You listen to right-wing radio for several hours a day.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 11:43 a.m. CST

    this talkback is retarded…

    by Uncooked_Meat

    People looking for an excuse to argue over bullshit that Harry wrote as a FUCKING JOKE. Get over yourselves, all of you. You included, Knowles. That said, this was a good review. Not Vern’s best (That will always be his reviews of Segal movies), but still better than most others. Another good review that has interesting political takes is on CHUD. Check it out.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 11:49 a.m. CST

    “…to fight for what’s right, which in this place and time

    by Darth Bono Jr.

    LOL!!!! Vern, I love ya, man!!!

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 11:55 a.m. CST

    The unnecessary title of the review, which deserved better

    by Immortal_Fish

    It was written by Harry “Ya know, Neo is like bin Laden. Go Neo!” Knowles. He knew what he was doing when he wrote that and what it was going to set off. Don’t apologize or make exceuses for him. Let him lie in the bed he made for himself. He needs to learn that he is hijacking his own site with this unnecessary personal interjecture. It doesn’t matter whether or not it was intentional. Look at us! How many talkbacks are there here that have discussed this review or the movie being reviewed? And Vern is one of AICN’s best! But his review is wasted because Harry found it necessary to twist a minor snippet of the review to make it appear to mean way more than Vern intended. This is Harry’s place and he can do what he wants, write what he wants. But he has to ask himself if he wants all talkbacks to become this charged and offtopic or if he wants his visitors discussing his writer’s reviews. In the meantime, I’m voicing my opinion to his sponsors and holding out hope for a return to this site’s original objective.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 11:58 a.m. CST

    And who else thinks smorris09 is really bushsux?

    by Immortal_Fish

    Honestly. You just can’t make some of that shit up.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 2:13 p.m. CST

    couldnt be fucked to read the whole talkback, but lets be honest

    by cockknocker

    Christians should receive electric shock treament till they reach enlightenment or their brain runs out of their ears.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 2:24 p.m. CST

    to Immortal Fish

    by Vern

    Thanks for the kind words and for sticking up for my review. But seriously, you’re writing emails to Harry’s sponsors? You made that part up, right? You can level with me, I won’t tell Harry.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 3:10 p.m. CST

    entertaining

    by ILK

    Saw it last night and thought it was entertaining. I did like the religious terrorist bit. Perfect. But they could have given it more emphasis. Just having a cross on his face and quoting bible passages made him out to be more like a disfigured Jules Winnfield and less like an Osama. But overall it was entertaining. Light fun, period.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 3:12 p.m. CST

    what to learn from smorris09

    by Spangler

    This guy could be bushsux, he could actually be a racist lunatic, or it could be someone trying to make a very important point; liberals act like and talk like conservatives are all exactly like smorris09. How could this be possible? There are a very small number of persons in this country that would think this way. Liberals claim that the entire Republican Party is based on these ideas. Do you liberals really think pro-lifers are about taking away women’s rights because conservatives and Christians think women are inferior? Of course not! Pro-lifers think of 30 million abortions as a holocaust. Infanticide has been going on for years now and pro-lifers are sickened by it. Just because you use the word fetus doesn’t change a damn thing. Why is it so hard to understand our point of view? Pro-choicers’ argument is that it’s a “right”, well it’s actually just a priviledge. Believe it or not, it is possible to use condoms or not to have sex at all. It’s fucking hard, but it’s possible. Hasn’t anyone ever suffered from a terrible breakup and just swore the practice off for a few years? Yeah its horrible but that’s because we knew what we were missing. Woman have a choice, they usually just choose the risk of getting pregant.

    Yeah yeah rape and incest… I know! This accounts for .02% of all abortions. Folks, sex is great, having babies at a young age sucks, but its possible. My parents did it.

    What about affirmative action? We honestly think black people don’t fucking need it. They are smart, capable and resilient (sort of like uh…. uh…. HUMAN BEINGS!!!).. we’ve seen this! haven’t you?

    How could anyone really believe Republicans don’t like black people? We just want them to pick themselves up becuase THEY CAN. Winston Churchill has been rolling around in his grave since this “help from white people” began.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 3:13 p.m. CST

    Vern, I believe him, man.

    by Childe Roland

    Fish can be a right funny fucker but, sometimes, he seems like he’s wound a bit too tight for the talkback.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 3:14 p.m. CST

    charity is moral

    by ILK

    “You cant legislate charity obviously”

    as soon as I see this right next to “you can’t legislate morality” on the republican party pamphlet I’ll become a republican. Until then… ahem… how many times do I have to say it? ….HYPOCRITE!! Legislating morality is the same as legislating charity, dumbasses.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 3:31 p.m. CST

    Oooooohh Immortal FIsh is in trouble!!!

    by FrodosBlueBalls

    How come Vern doesn’t get a black box?

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 4 p.m. CST

    Dear Rock star games

    by Vern

    “You advertised your ‘The Warriors’ video game on the side of the talkback on ain’t it cool news. Unfortunately, Harry Knowles wrote an unneccessary political thing at the beginning of Vern’s Zorro review. I think you see the problem here. I will put the game on pause until Harry straightens out. I said the same thing to ‘The Weather Man’ and some dating service. signed, a concerned consumer.” That’s all I’m saying man, I just can’t imagine what the letter would be. But hey man freedom of speech.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 6:02 p.m. CST

    Immortal Fish: Finally, someone else realized it!

    by Daredevil

    It was pretty obvious that smorris and lotrfan12 were liberals in disguise (a flimsy disguise at that.) So, Childe Roland, you don’t have to worry about them dragging conservatives down. As for the topic of conversation, I don’t blame Vern for his review. His comments were pretty innocuous. It was Harry’s incendiary intro that made it sound bad. Personally, I’m more offended by the movie makers who, once again, can’t help but stereotype Christians as villainous. Oh, right, I forgot. There were, like, 2 attacks on abortionists 15 years ago in the real world. That makes ALL the difference. As opposed to the reality that TV and movies would like us to think exists where a wacko Christian killa an abortion doctor every couple weeks. And really, the person blowing up the building is no worse than the person who is killing the babies inside the building. Both are sickos. And I’m not even going to start to comment on all the misconcieved attacks on the Bible. All I can say is read the book again without your bias getting in the way. It’s pretty easy to interpret, not a lot of hidden meanings and sneaky passages thrown in, that is, unless you’re trying to read one into it.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 6:03 p.m. CST

    Read Verns last post while humming the seinfeld theme tune

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    It fits the opening perfectly. Vern? Are you Jerry Seinfeld? :P

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 8:32 p.m. CST

    Go Vern!

    by Laremy

    Vern continues to set the bar for readable reviews…

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 8:41 p.m. CST

    Ummmm Getting back to the movie.

    by flossygomez

    funny review from the stranger.

    1998’s The Mask of Zorro was an entertaining, if completely unremarkable, reinvention of a franchise nobody remembered. It jump-started Catherine Zeta Jones’s unfortunate career, rescued (however briefly) Antonio Banderas’s, and offered audiences a chance to watch Sir Anthony Hopkins play dress-up as a mobile human being. Where the film succeeded was in its dedication to an old-school style of adventure, one where CGI trickery was kept at a minimum, and all thrills (and spills) were left to the torn ligaments and snapped bones of an army of stuntmen. In other words, it was a real movie.

    Now, seven years later (and far too late for sane people to remember the original) comes The Legend of Zorro. Banderas and Zeta-Jones are still on hand, as is the first film’s director, Martin Campbell. What’s missing this time around is that dedication to flesh and blood filmmaking. Gone are the impossible stunts

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 9:40 p.m. CST

    I already addressed Muslims and Terrorists anchorite…

    by iamnicksaicnsn

    I’ve got your response for you.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 10:20 p.m. CST

    There is no such thing as Christian terrorists you ignorant fuck

    by smorris09

    You see any Christians flying planes into the world trade center? Who are we fighting in Iraq? Christians? No we’re fighting Islamic terrorist extremists and we need to fight them over there so we don’t fight them over here. I am sick and fucking tired of being perseciuted for being a Christian.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 10:36 p.m. CST

    Vern is the best

    by scratcher

    Abe Lincoln…Chow Yun Fat…the horse. Your reviews are sooo much better than the movies. You talkback lawyers should try writing something as entertaining as that, and maybe someone will bother reading it.

  • Oct. 28, 2005, 12:12 a.m. CST

    It’s rated PG mx, so I seriousley doubt it.

    by Shermdawg

  • Oct. 28, 2005, 12:16 a.m. CST

    The 2

    by Darth Maui

    BTW, who really cares if the sequel came out seven years after the original? Looked at another way it just shows they are not shoving it down our throats. If it came out one, two, or three years after the original people could complain, “Oh, they just wanted money so they crapped out a sequel really quick.”

  • Oct. 28, 2005, 12:22 a.m. CST

    great review Vern

    by scratcher

    Bring on Abe Lincoln!

  • Oct. 28, 2005, 12:58 a.m. CST

    The fact that right wing religious bush loving Muslim hating FUC

    by TheGinger Twit

    Seriously guys, the writing is on the walls. You guys are on the way out. See ya

  • Oct. 28, 2005, 2:03 a.m. CST

    I’m mainly right wing but even I have to say this

    by castaway

    There is such a thing as “Christian Terrorists” and those include those who bomb abortion clinics and/or those who kill abortion doctors and later claim God told them to do it. I do have a certain amount of spiritual belief that mainly resides within the Christian religion but sometimes I also get sick of other lesser extreme people who want to foist their beliefs on others. I DON’T THINK THIS IS A COMPOSITION OF THE ENTIRE CHRISTIAN OR MUSLIM RELIGION THOUGH. Although, I do look to certain countries in the Middle East and I want to say to people who ceaselessly bash religious people as fanatics and ask- You think its bad here, why don’t you ask someone with your belief system how it feels to live in Iran. All religions (AS DO POLITICAL PARTIES HARRY) have their bad sides…..I will be seeing Zorro 2 right after I see Saw 2 at least 3 times. oh yeah, I also keep hearing Clinton’s term in office ended with a recession or on the cusp of recession….with all due respect to a past U.S. president WHAT UP WITH DAT?

  • Oct. 28, 2005, 2:11 a.m. CST

    talkback wrapup

    by Vern

    Now that this talkback finally seems to be dying down, replaced by the one about the length of King Kong’s,uh, movie, I would like to point out one little trivial thing. I said that the Bible spouting secondary bad guy could be seen as A METAPHOR FOR ISLAMIC TERRORISTS. Because he’s stealing votes. I did not even in any way touch on the concept of Christian terrorists, abortion, slavery reparations, Harriet Miers or violent video games. If I did, Anchorite, then it would be important to note that this movie is about Zorro. It does not take place in this century. I almost put in a line about making a cake for indictment day, but decided against it. I was honestly trying to throw a bone to you republicans with that one paragraph, talking about the Iraqi constitution. Jesus man. Now I understand why republicans don’t believe in being nice to people, if this is all it gets you. But anyway, here’s the thing. Usually when this kind of talkback happens it is so confusing to me because I think what is it these people want? They control the White House, the senate, the courts, the voting machines, country music, professional wrestling, and let’s be honest, the liberal media. But somehow it’s like a real sharp piece of gravel in their shoe that Michael Moore is still allowed to make one movie every 3 or 4 years. I think, how much world domination is enough for these fuckin people? How will they ever be happy? Whatever happened to being grateful for coming closer than anyone else to controlling the whole god damn world? USUALLY that’s what I think but this week, with this impossible feeling in the air that there may actually be some sort of accountability for a few of the things that have gone on in the past 5 years, I can understand why certain people who believe in certain things would be liable to get in a tizzy over fuckin Zorro. So hey guys, sorry that you riled yourself up about something that nobody wrote. Go watch Zorro this weekend, maybe it will cheer you up. thanks. your friend, Vern

  • Oct. 28, 2005, 2:41 a.m. CST

    Hey Vern…I’m not an angry Republican but

    by castaway

    and I’m perfectly calm in typing this but people did not “get in a tizzy over fucking Zorro” as you so elegantly typed (and I really can’t help but giggle at how it is put…no sarcasm intended whatsoever there) they got into a tizzy over how they felt their beliefs were compared with that of a bunch of murderous villains. think what you wish of the current administration (I myself freakin’ hate Michael Moore, but found his movie VERY well put together and presented, I’ll hand him that much) but when people feel as if their beliefs have been victimized they are going to speak up. I only mentioned abortion to point out my own belief in there being those people of the Christian faith willing to take part in such horrific and extremist behavior. I admit that I only responded to the headline of the review as well as things said within the Talkbacks, I haven’t yet read your review. As far as being a quote unquote angry Republican I will say the following Vern…..if the general media is so right wing then why is it most soldiers in active duty are complaining that only the negatives are being mentioned in the general media and none of the positives? I just hope you don’t say they are all probably being paid off by Fox News, but I’d wager you might say there are no positives here (I said MIGHT not definitely)…Secondly, you mention about how unkind (or not nice) supoosedly all people from the right are yet you end your post in such a smug way as to suggest you don’t know the meaning of the word. While you are probably going to jump on me for saying that I did not read your review, I don’t care. You complain about the other side being not nice and then insult them? How about showing us the way like a gentleman instead of acting like a hypocrite…..I didn’t mean to end this post on such an acidic note….but on the other side of things I can happily say that I have certain liberal views that would probably piss off most right wingers.

  • Oct. 28, 2005, 4:56 a.m. CST

    post wrapup wrapup for castaway

    by Vern

    You’re right bud, I was using some of the old hyperbole more than once in my talkback there. I know people weren’t really getting upset about Zorro, but I think we can agree that it is ridiculous for this to be going on in a talkback for a Zorro movie. Or Chicken Little, as somebody else suggested would happen way way up there somewhere. I honestly wasn’t pointing at you as an angry republican, that was just a generalization of some of the talkbacks above and how they went off onto the usual political debate tangents without any connection to our friend Zorro. As for my comment about the right wing “controlling the liberal media” I will clarify that for you. I don’t think most of the media is right wing, I think it’s pro status quo and pro corporate. They were the same idiots when Clinton was in power too (only the tantalizing blowjobs got them questioning authority). All the things that are starting to be reported again about the, uh, artistic license that was taken with the intelligence that sold us on the war — come on, it’s not like they didn’t fucking know that back then. I knew it, you probaly knew it, obviously the media who were reporting on it knew it. But they or their bosses or whoever bought into this idea about it being unpatriotic to disagree with the president after a terrorist attack so they played most of that stuff down. In that sense I do believe the media are controlled by the right wing via intimidation, but I guess maybe it would be more accurate to just say the media are a bunch of pussies. (To be fair, the newspapers did report alot of this stuff, they just buried it in the back somewhere where the television reporters were not able to find out about it. You’ve seen Aaron Brown, he just reads the front page. But it was printed somewhere and that’s how you and I knew that the aluminum tubes, mobile laboratories, yellowcake, etc. were not as advertised. Too bad Colin Powell didn’t read that article). And as for saying republicans don’t believe in being nice, that was meant as a playful jab based on the difference in conservative and liberal philosophy about what taxes should go for, how to get along with other countries, etc. Sorry if it sounded literal. Obviously there are nice republicans, I have met them before, it’s just that they’re not allowed in office or on tv. Anyway sorry for the confusion, hope this explains myself better, and I’m sure you would’ve enjoyed the review if you had read it, it is pretty good I think it’s right up there above the talkbacks somewhere, check it out. thanks bud, Vern.

  • Oct. 28, 2005, 7:35 a.m. CST

    One Correction

    by MarkWhittington

    California statehood was in 1850, not 1860 as previously stated. Nothing about a “secret Christian cabal”, which in the movie seems to be more related to the Da Vinci Code nonsense than to contemporary politics. Lots of interesting stuff about minority rights and fair taxes which, I suspect, would be boring in a swashbuckling movie.

  • Oct. 28, 2005, 8:06 a.m. CST

    Vern, you forgot NASCAR and Conan

    by scratcher

  • Oct. 28, 2005, 9:42 a.m. CST

    the word “terrorist” can be viewed at differently

    by FrodosBlueBalls

    For us…the “muslims” and by “muslims” I’m not generalizing the whole population, just the few idiots who ruin their name, are the terrorists. But to some other parts of the world, we are considered terrorists. BTW, more people will die from murder and rape in the US than by any acts of muslim terrorism…so who are the real barbarians??

  • Oct. 28, 2005, 11:30 a.m. CST

    Writing sponsors

    by Immortal_Fish

    I suppose you could easily draw such an outlandish conclusion (which did get a laugh out of me). But what’s wrong with letting a sponsor know that because they advertise with so and so who believes such and such it has resulted in me and my family being less likely to consume their products? I know I’m not going to change the world with my own personal boycott. Chances are strong my letters are being casually discarded after a bout of redicule. Go ahead and think I’m pissing into the wind. But if you think this, then ask yourself… if one person’s opinion doesn’t matter then why exert similar effort in a talkback at all?

  • Oct. 28, 2005, 3:42 p.m. CST

    Thanks A Million Vern! And Funny Review

    by castaway

    I appreciate your response Vern and found the review funny as can be. Thanks man.

  • Oct. 28, 2005, 6:18 p.m. CST

    well, i guess i kinda started this…

    by greyspecter

    sorry about that. I wasn’t disagreeing with Harry’s and Vern’s comments (although i do disagree), i was merely saying that this *is*, as others have pointed out, a movie site, and inserting little digs, innocuous or not, are besides the point of this site, at least as i understand its point to be. anyway, some lovely misrepresentations of boths sides by both sides, so glad i came…

  • Oct. 28, 2005, 7:58 p.m. CST

    frodo’s blueballs

    by ILK

    “BTW, more people will die from murder and rape in the US than by any acts of muslim terrorism…”

    How do you die of rape? Wouldn’t that be murder?

    … that said…. I agree.

  • Oct. 28, 2005, 9:35 p.m. CST

    Vern is Clearly Delusional

    by MarkWhittington

    We just saw Legend of Zorro and couldn’t find any Neocon Christians at all. While there is one ugly fella who talks about “doing the Lord’s work”, he’s just a minion who works for a gang of Eurotrash twits, led by a Frenchman, who are in cahoots with slave owning southerners. They want to stop California from joining the Union to stop America from being strong. After all, a strong America would do things like invade Iraq and win the Tour de France.

    The only Christian, besides Zorro’s monk friend, was Zorro himself who prays to the Virgin for strength. So, I suppose Vern and Harry thinks he’s the neocon terrorist.

  • Oct. 29, 2005, 9:19 a.m. CST

    Thomas

    by Immortal_Fish

    You prolly scanned for my name without the underscore character between Immortal and Fish. Look fora post titled “The unnecessary title of the review, which deserved better” and you’ll grab it. By the way — I also write my government reps every now and then. Even know their first and last names too. The horror!

  • Oct. 29, 2005, 9:35 a.m. CST

    anchorite

    by Immortal_Fish

    Don’t forget the right lost ground in the house during the late 90s for a bref stretch. Sometimes when a lefty speaks I have to wonder if they’re only trying to convince themselves of their own rhetoric. “Control of the house” — I love that. How can you have control with folks like Chafee, McCain, Hagel, Olympia Snow, and Susan Collins et al running around? That gang of 14 nonsense. Name a Dem that’s played the same game in favor of the right. Even the outspoken Zell Miller didn’t speak out until he’d long since made it clear he was retiring. As for the courts, define control? If it’s the supreme court that defines control, it’s only Bush’s 2nd nom that will swing direction one way or the other. And Miers would have likely pulled an O’Connor or Souter. If control of the courts extends beyond here, then check out what’s happened in my home state with homosexual marriage. I don’t care which side of this argument you’re on, it’s a heavily left leaning decision. And consider how it was done. Four out of seven justices decided all on their own to make new law, which is the responsibility of he legislature not the court. As for the conservative owned liberal media — whuzzat? Rupert Murdoch? One guy?! Doesn’t Turner at least negate him if nothing else? Look, there’s Fox news and the op ed page of the Wall Street Journal. That’s it. That’s your “conservative media.”

  • Oct. 29, 2005, 5:31 p.m. CST

    You’re all clearly on crack.

    by iamnicksaicnsn

    We can call each other idiots all day, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re too pussy to address my “muslims are only terrorists because people oppress them, and that’s not a justification, just the truth” argument that I posted above. There hasn’t been a left wing media bias for years, “Liberal” Radio gets about 3,000 hours of air time a week, and “Conservative” Radio gets about 40,000. There are at least 5 right-leaning justices and really only 2 left leaning justices on the supreme court. Fox News is a big example because it’s so biased. The difference between Fox and CNN/MSNBC is that the two try a little to balance the righties with the lefties when there is commentary, Fox is consistently severely skewed to the right. For the past 5 years plus, the right has been ridiculously efficient at getting their perverted message out there, the left hasn’t been able to accomplish this because there is legitimate debate between the crazies and the not crazies and everyone in between. The media eats up the righty messages like nothing else. And look, it’s not like I’m arguing for totally democrat policies here, there are stupid and incompetent and crazy people on both sides. Right now, I personally believe that the crazies have taken control of the Republican party, and the Democrats are most retarded as to how to fight it.

  • Oct. 29, 2005, 9:59 p.m. CST

    to Anchorite and Whittington, in case you’re still around

    by Vern

    Man I got problems with my writing, I gotta explain every god damn sentence or nobody knows what I’m trying to say. Let me clear up some confusion. I never said anything about the average makeup of the government since World War 2 being republican. I said that republicans control everything NOW. Today. Here’s how it breaks down: George W. Bush is considered the president right now. That’s the white house I was referring to. Republicans also control both houses of congress – I called it “senate” for some reason (too many yoda movies I guess) so sorry I confused you. The courts – okay, you got me on that, it would’ve been more accurate if I said “Supreme Court” and not lumped all of the courts together. But the Supreme Court is, in my opinion, the top ranking of all the courts. You can debate me on that point but I think I have a good shot at winning. As for the media, I already elaborated on that before your post. But all I’m trying to do is make fun of the ridiculous people who think there is a “liberal media”. Is that the same one that worked hand in hand with the white house to sell the Iraq war, or is there I different media I don’t get? Man, I gotta get a satellite dish. And I notice you didn’t even try to challenge me on professional wrestling or country music. Because you can’t do it. I’m still asking the question: how much of this would you have to control in order to no longer be the victims under siege by liberals? How bout if we give you “the West Wing” tv show and one hour a week on Air America? Then will you relax and just enjoy the spoils of war? Also I just wanna say one thing about Michael Moore. You know those liberal idiots who, every time you get in a political discussion, turn every single topic into an attack on Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly or Rush Limbaugh? You are that guy except worse, because you only got Michael Moore and an occasional cameo by Sean Penn. Can’t you at least wait until his next movie comes out before thinking about him every day? That’s what I do. And to Whittington, man, I’m sorry if Harry’s intro confused you but I didn’t say anything like what you think I said about Zorro. I said that you COULD try to read politics into it but it wouldn’t quite work. And like I said in the other posts, Zorro is more religious than the bad guys are. Let’s all learn to get along and enjoy Zorro together. thanks everybody. your friend Vern.

  • Oct. 30, 2005, 3:09 p.m. CST

    Vern Digs Himself Deeper

    by MarkWhittington

    Vern, with respect, it was you who interjected a political slant in the film which clearly did not exist. There were no “necons” in the movie, Christian or otherwise. You made all of that up. In my mine, you owe everyone an apology.

  • Oct. 30, 2005, 11:16 p.m. CST

    to Whittington

    by Vern

    Dear Mark, here is the paragraph from my review. “I’m not sure what to make of the politics of the movie. I think pretty much anybody could read some kind of symbolism into it to support their world view. The Californians are voting to ratify a constitution, which reminds you of Iraq. And some assholes are trying to steal the votes. (Alot of Zorro’s missions are about stealing or protecting documents.) So you might think the bad guys (who mention Jesus alot but don’t seem all that christlike) are a good symbol for terrorists or insurgents or somebody like that. But even though they’re trying to stop the vote, they are kind of these neocon types trying to control the whole world, and starting a civil war and supplying weapons and whatnot. You could draw alot of different parallels. So I’m not sure what this all says about our modern world but I guess if Zorro ran for congress I might vote for him, I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it.” If you are tempted to pretend I said something I didn’t, please go do it by yourself and not to me. Because the review is still there, it is not hard for me to read it again and find out that you’re making shit up.

  • Oct. 30, 2005, 11:28 p.m. CST

    to Anchorite

    by Vern

    Dear Anchorite, you are right, the supreme court is not all conservatives. It could almost be argued that I was exaggerating when I said that republicans controlled the whole world. And republicans these days, at least the ones in power, are not very conservative in many ways. They spend money like Michael Jackson, but they don’t dance as well. I hope you are right, but it is hard not to think they have the court on a leash when they were able to pull off (oh shit dare I say this in front of Anchorite) Bush v. Gore. But maybe that was a fluke. As for the whole “liberal media” argument, I’m really not gonna sit here and debate it. So I guess you win that one. The media reported the 2000th death in that fucked up war they helped start, so that proves it, they’re practically Ralph Nader. Anyway I guess that is the answer to my question then. Once you have a clearcut majority (100%?) of the Supreme Court and Fox News on every channel, THAT is when you will chill out and stop worrying about liberals? That’s all you had to do was say that and not get into a big silly argument about it. p.s. I stand by EVERYTHING I said about professional wrestling. And by the way I see that you don’t have the balls to challenge my statement that Zorro is AWESOME. Because you simply don’t have the facts.

VERN has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the books SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL, YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER!: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS and NIKETOWN: A NOVEL. His horror-action novel WORM ON A HOOK will arrive later this year.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 26th, 2005 at 8:56 am and is filed under Action, AICN, Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

One Response to “Vern Claims Zorro Fight Californian Neocon Christian Terrorists in LEGEND OF ZORRO and he digs it!”

  1. Just found out Jackie Chan made a movie with Pierce Brosnan directed by Martin Campbell. I’m very curious about it.

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