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Posts Tagged ‘JCVD’

Hard Target

Saturday, January 1st, 2000

WARNING: This unfinished review here was written in the year 2000 when I was young and stupid. I’m leaving it here for the comments, for historical purposes and for my own accountability, but please if you’re just looking for a review of HARD TARGET read the one I wrote 16 years of wisdom later.

Well as you can see above, I reviewed John Woo’s HARD BOILED long ago. In that review I was obviously right about a bunch of crap that I said. For example, HARD BOILED is still a masterpiece. And as I predicted, CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON was a masterpiece that blew away the combined artistic merit of every American Chow Yun Fat movie times ten. But I was wrong that after the success of CROUCHING TIGER my man Fat would never do an american movie again. Back then I would’ve been happy to hear that but that’s because I never saw fucking BULLETPROOF MONK. Oh for crying out loud, what is the man doing? (read the rest of this shit…)

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Posted in Action, Reviews, Thriller | 25 Comments »

Double Impact

Saturday, January 1st, 2000

Well I thought this would be funny because Jean-Claude Van Damme plays twins but it is not one of his better pictures in my opinion. It is not nearly as boring as Cyborg, but it is pretty generic and dull and shows few signs of the iconoclastic action pioneer that Van Damme would later become.

I guess he does an okay job of playing two different characters for such a limited actor but you would think they would do more with the twin concept. The opening scene where jean claude’s characters is only a baby is pretty well done, but then it skips to 25 years later and the happy keyboard music plays and it’s just your usual mistaken identity twin garbage. (read the rest of this shit…)

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Posted in Action, Reviews | 31 Comments »

The Films of Jean Claude Van Damme

Saturday, September 4th, 1999

I have seen a lot of talk about Jean Claud Van Damme on this news group so what i did was I decided to go out and rent some of his movies over at a “Blockbuster video” that they have here. i made a night out of it actually and so here’s what i think about this much discussed karate man.

First of all, body. Small but not that bad. The way he does the splits and everything kind of makes him look like a fairy but I bet he could kick a guy pretty hard. I’m still skeptical how long he would last inside but he’s not as weak as some of the pretty boys i’ve seen in movies. Put it this way I was surprised. (read the rest of this shit…)

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Posted in Action, Bruce, Martial Arts, Reviews, Vern Tells It Like It Is | 9 Comments »

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