"CATCH YOU FUCKERS AT A BAD TIME?"

Posts Tagged ‘Christmas’

Die Hard 2

Tuesday, December 21st, 1999

MCCLANE. JOHN MCCLANE. THE WORKING MAN’S JAMES BOND

BRUCE WILLIS’S DIE HARD 2

Well hell man I guess for those of you who read the title there’s no point in explaining my premise here. You see I just watched Die Hard part 2 for the first time since you know what and I realized that John McClane is a James bond for OUR people. The people who AREN’T rich and who don’t always get the breaks this motherfucker james gets.

Bond is the ultimate secret agent, who the government agencies go to for help. McClane is just a badass that happens to be there when the shit goes down, and the government agencies try to STOP him from helping but they can’t do it cause like the title says this mother fucker is HARD.

Bond has connections everywhere and can go anywhere and do just about anything he wants, but McClane has to save the whole fucking airport just to get these motherfuckers to let him out of a parking ticket. Bond drives snowmobiles and sports cars provided by the government and jumps off of them and blows them up. McClane steals the snowmobiles he uses but also jumps off of them and blows them up. Even when he drives a car at the beginning, its a piece of shit borrowed from his mother in law, and that one gets impounded.

Bond wears expensive suits and dapper uniforms. McClane wears a dirty maintenance man snow jacket he BORROWS from somebody else. If McClane was EVER in a casino, he’d be wearing a sleeveless undershirt, it would be on the Indian reservation, and he’d be losing. My man john doesn’t know the MEANING of the word dapper. He’s a rough and tumble type dude, and if I didn’t know he was a cop i’d swear he done time, cause this is the type of motherfucker that knows how to bite a guys hand during a fight. thumbs up for that one mcclane. (read the rest of this shit…)

Die Hard

Thursday, December 2nd, 1999

MERRY CHRISTMAS, MOTHERFUCKER: MY REUNION WITH BRUCE WILLIS’S DIE HARD

All across the world, in many different nations and cultures, families and individuals have many cherished traditions that they follow every winter holiday season. For some its the eggnog or candy canes, a special angel ornament they pass on through the family to put on top of the christmas tree, or everyone opens one present on christmas eve or who knows, ANYTHING.

Well in my opinion if I had been able to celebrate the holiday outside of the limits of the correctional facilities in recent years i’m PRETTY fucking sure my first tradition would be to read “junkies christmas” from william s. burroughs Interzone. This is the story of a fucking low life like many I know however he is able to learn the spirit of christmas and help others who need his knowledge and posession of certain illegal medicines. if its not already this should be on tv every year like the charlie brown cartoons.

Of course my second and more important tradition would be to watch my all time favorite christmas movie – the one starring Bruce Willis as Mr. John McClane. Bruce singlehandedly takes down a moneygrubbing so called terrorist operation that takes over his estranged wife’s office building on Christmas eve. Although with a strong action movie feel and taking place indoors instead of the snowy wilderness, this picture is fucking PENETRATED with the sounds of christmas, from the run dmc rap tune to i believe handels messiah.

That movie is the one and only Bruce Willis’s Die hard (1988).

So this year as the holiday season approaches I was able to rewatch Die fucking Hard as some of my buds in the guestbook call it for the first full viewing since the late 80s. (read the rest of this shit…)

Bruce Willis in Die Hard: an action breakthrough

Wednesday, December 1st, 1999

[Below is one of the first pieces I Wrote for this web sight, when I was first discovering the world of the Cinema, etc. I am leaving it here for historical puproses however don’t read the fuckin thing though. Thanks.]

film essay by Vernon H.

This page is to promote one of the most under recognized movies in my opinion, Bruce Willis’s DIE HARD (1988). In this movie, Bruce willis plays a cop who finds out that TERRORISTS have taken over the building of his wife’s work at christmas time. What bruce does is basically pick off the terrorists one by one, killing them, etc. These are germans with a leader named Hans Grueber. It shows that one man can take on the system BY HIMSELF. This is a big inspiration to convicts, underdogs and anyone who ever had to take on incredible odds. Also it is interesting to note that Bruce is wearing NO SHOES OR SOCKS while he takes on these Terrorists, including when he must walk over broken glass. That’s right – BARE FEET.

Now I know what your saying, Bruce willis in an action movie? But hold on just a second there bud.

Although bruce is known mainly for being a comedian on the tv show Moonlighting, I think there is a little more to bruce that a lot of people haven’t been willing to acknowledge. First of all, moonlighting although there is romance in comedy can also be an action show. For example in the pilot (term for first episode) I believe there was a scene of bruce running all over the city chasing a dude (although with shoes on).

Now i know there is a prejudice against tv actors trying to make it on the big screen, just as there is a prejudice against ex-cons trying to go clean in the real world. HOWEVER, i don’t think it’s fair to consider Bruce to be ONLY a tv actor, although yes he has done Moonlighting.

And in fact his background in comedy helps out for the “one liners,” where bruce says a funny or clever thing as the Terrorist dies. “Yippy kie yah motherfucker!” Although i like van damme quite a bit I believe bruce is actually better at this sort of technique.

Although Die Hard has had little hype or press, i believe that it’s time will come soon when it will be acknowledged as a breakthrough in the world of action movies. They don’t really make movies like that anymore in my opinion. Although its influence is yet to be shown, I think within ten years all action movies will owe a great debt to Die Hard, just as horror movies owe a debt to the Chucky movies.

In the movie, Bruce Willis is named “John Mcclane”

Just my two cents