"CATCH YOU FUCKERS AT A BAD TIME?"

Posts Tagged ‘John Woo’

the two Ps

Monday, June 5th, 2000

Last week in my pornographical critiquery of the works of Radley Metzger, I offered the theory that all america needs is alittle bit of god damned ELBOW GREASE for crying out loud.

But you know what, in the week that has past since I wrote those words, I feel that I have really grown up alot, due to some experiences I had in a movie theater watching Shanghai Noon and the Mission Impossible Part 2. And that is why I now believe that last week’s column was superficial and immature. (read the rest of this shit…)

Hard Target

Saturday, January 1st, 2000

WARNING: This unfinished review here was written in the year 2000 when I was young and stupid. I’m leaving it here for the comments, for historical purposes and for my own accountability, but please if you’re just looking for a review of HARD TARGET read the one I wrote 16 years of wisdom later.

Well as you can see above, I reviewed John Woo’s HARD BOILED long ago. In that review I was obviously right about a bunch of crap that I said. For example, HARD BOILED is still a masterpiece. And as I predicted, CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON was a masterpiece that blew away the combined artistic merit of every American Chow Yun Fat movie times ten. But I was wrong that after the success of CROUCHING TIGER my man Fat would never do an american movie again. Back then I would’ve been happy to hear that but that’s because I never saw fucking BULLETPROOF MONK. Oh for crying out loud, what is the man doing? (read the rest of this shit…)