Hostel (2005) Poster


Information about the 2005 film Hostel directed by Eli Roth.



January 11th, 2006 | 1 Jibber-jabber

No way in hell HOSTEL is the landmark horror movie that at least one of my online buddies will tell you it is. Also, it’s not the worthless piece of shit some other people will tell you it is. This may seem weird, you probaly have never heard an opinion like this on the internet before, but HOSTEL falls somewhere in between GREAT AMERICAN HORROR CLASSIC MASTERPIECE and COMPLETE SUCKING OF ANIMAL SEX ORGANS. I call this condition “okay.”

As the ads will tell you, HOSTEL is “FROM DIRECTOR ELI ROTH” – in other words, the guy whose only other movie is CABIN FEVER. I liked that one. The hero-victims were dumb teenagers, but they had funny dialogue that made you like them anyway. In HOSTEL we get a trio of dumbass pussy fiends straight out of an ’80s fraternity movie, and they’re not as funny as those cabin kids. The first half of the movie is mostly about trying to get laid, smoking pot and drinking at a dance club. If you like to watch stupid dipshits get all excited about hot chicks taking their shirts off, you will enjoy this. I can’t remember if they keep high-fiving each other or not, but that is the basic vibe we’re talking here. The high fives are implied. Also, there is not a wet t-shirt contest at any point, but maybe on the DVD. Of the three characters, one is so obnoxious as to be kind of humorous, one is halfway sympathetic in comparison to the other two, and the third one is just a completely bland frat boy with few distinguishing characteristics except that he is the guy who plays Carlito Brigante in the CARLITO’S WAY straight to video prequel that I haven’t watched yet. So of course they die in that order, leaving you trying to root for the least interesting of three unlikable pricks. (read the rest of this shit…)

14 Jibber-jabbers

  1. Possibly someone already posted this and I missed it. Had heard they were actually doing this, and this looks pretty definitive. Don’t like torture porn, do like HOSTEL 1, could take or leave Roth in general, this looks fun.


  2. Don’t wanna be too much of a cynical asshole, but it kinda feels like Roth being desperate, since his first two mainstream efforts (DEATH WISH and THE HOUSE WITH A CLOCK IN ITS WALL) pretty much crashed and burned, a whole of his other projects fell apart (Remember when he was supposed to direct MEG?!) and his biggest movie yet (BORDERLANDS) sat on the shelf for a while before it underwent huge reshoots that he isn’t even directing himself. So that smells a bit like “Oh well, better give the fans finally what they were asking me for over a decade, so that I can maybe stay relevant for a bit longer.”

  3. Not a huge fan of Roth either, but yeah, it looks fun! Slick in a way that the inspiration wasn’t, but that’s probably the right call. That trampoline scene from the original trailer (referenced here) still makes me cringe a little whenever I think of it.
    Don’t think it’s him being desperate, there’s been talks about this getting made since at least Machete.

  4. Am I the only one for whom this thread looks weirdly formatted (and comments show up in reverse chronological order)? It is a 2005 post, so, I think it’s a geocities era Vern data migration wormhole or something. I think I hear Limp Bizkit playing in the background.

    In any case, I am more concerned with the finished product than the desperation that has or has not prompted it getting made — of course, the latter could affect the quality of the former, but the trailer seems reasonably decent and stylish. Kinda reminds me of the energy of the MY BLOODY VALENTINE REMAKE (which I thought was a blast). I’ve been carping and lamenting about our need for new slashers, and I will take this one. Once again, the midlife-crisis gods have heard my plaintive cry.

    I think there’s been lots of virtual ink spilled here over the years about just how much of a douche, bro, reactionary, edgelord, or misunderstood auteur Roth is (or was or something)? Probably he is a bit of all of the above and is just a bit of a bro who likes scary and gory movies. He’s fine. Also, somehow I stumbled onto a podcast or interview where he and Tarantino are talking about how great PSYCHO II is, and they (and everyone else) is wrong about this, but it was a cool discussion. There was another one where they are praising GET OUT, so, Roth can’t be a total prick, can he? [Cut to breaking news that Roth has been arrested for running a keola sex trafficking ring or something].

    Anyway, if this rises to the level of “entertaining,” that will be enough for me.

  5. This is the “film” template which is part of the site redesign and is unfinished. It is active to test the JustWatch integration as well as demonstrate how this will be a way to access multiple reviews/posts about the same movie. I’ll have to take a look at the comment order thing but if you click on the entry above to go to the full review it has its own comment section. Another feature here will be a migration of the old “Suggestions” entries as well as a way for upcoming films to be stubbed for comment rather than the current practice of discussing them on another review.

  6. Not a fan of Roth’s movies, no idea about the guy (he seemed all right in those horror documentaries he did for Shudder and in interviews I’ve seen him in throughout the years). A quick search doesn’t return any obvious scandals, is this about Green Inferno?
    In any case, you’d think being an edgelord would be a desirable trait for a ‘disreputable’ genre director.

  7. I wouldn’t knock him for desperation, it’s good to see him making another movie, especially one he’s been trying to make for years. I think if he was pandering he would have made it in the “grindhouse” style we expected.

  8. Clubside — cool! That was not a knock on the format, btw — I just assumed given the era of HOSTEL that it was a backwards compatibility issue vs. “beta mode.” Neat!

    Dread – No, I’m not aware of any Eli Roth scandals. I think he’s basically a Joe Rogan kind of dude who also makes movies. My point was just that, as soon as I say, “c’mon guys, he’s not that bad,” that will be the time when he gets me-too’d or some shit. I’ve come to terms with the fact that just about anybody from Ned Flanders to J.Lo could turn out to be the BTK killer, and you’d be, like, “shit, didn’t see that coming.”

    Vern – Agreed. This one looks fun, and I think Roth is invested in it not being shitty. Say what you will, he loves horror.

  9. As someone who hasn’t (yet) seen HOSTEL all the way through, it’s interesting to read this old review (with it’s “interesting” name-droppings). But right now I would still rather watch that channel with wall-to-wall Cybill Shepherd than the movie in question.

  10. Oh no, am I gonna have to rewatch this movie just to have this not be the review that comes up if people want to know what I said about it?

  11. Do it!! Do it!! Do it!! …

  12. No! Don’t you dare. Don’t replace things that embarrass you with walkie talkies. It might give you some relief now, but as the years go on you will love having a record of who you were and when.

  13. I always keep up the old ones, it would just be nice to have a (hopefully) better one not so wrapped up in long forgotten online bullshit. I’m glad I went off on Dave Poland for that “my joke is I call it ‘Hostile'” thing though.

  14. Of course! I’m seconding *more* / new Vern reflections on this film. Yes and! More, not less! I want the original cut and the new special edition / ultimate edition / Totally horny unrated nsfw Eugene Levy eyes bugging out at a pie edition where Vern inserts bad and unnecessary cgi but also new commentary. Jokes aside, it would be neat to see how this film holds up. Even though I’m not a “torture porn” guy (not because of pearl clutching, I just don’t like it), this movie is also legit creepy, especially all the stuff around the OLD SPOILERS disappearance of the “of course, my horse” guy. It’s a genuinely unsettling, unhinged, “fun,” wacky, gonzo film in a lot of ways, but also (at least for first half) a very solid and tense mystery. A lot of layers worth unpacking (plus, I do want to see those green CGI camel-rhino things with stormtroopers riding them in the background).

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