This award exemplifies the difference between THE OUTLAW AWARDS and all the more widely known pussy awards such as the oscars, the golden globes, the golden raspberries, the cable ace awards, the SAG awards, the naacp image awards, the alt.drwho awards, the blockbuster rewards program, etc. You see this award is going to the composer who actually DID SOMETHING DIFFERENT, tried a new approach to scoring a movie, and at the same time made by far the most effective music in a movie in the historic year of 2000.

This is not an award that will ever go to a John Williams or a James Horner or a (insert name of everybody that's ever won the oscar before). Unless I guess one of those guys goes on a bad mushroom trip or something and comes back a little deranged and decides to not rehash the same score every time out. Or remember that one time when the chick that plays Lois Lane disappeared for a while and somebody found her hiding in some bushes with her head shaved and she said she had been kidnapped by some kind of weird Charles Manson, Texas Chain Saw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes kind of savage type cult dudes. Maybe something like that happens to James Horner and he starts doing his best work ever. I don't know.

Now don't ask me what's up with a name like RZA who I guess is some rapper from the "Wu-Tang Clan", not the temple of kung fu dudes from shaolin but the rappers from new york. (No relation, just a coincidence I guess.) But this is a man who made hypnotic, eerie score out of old scratchy records and drum machines. There is not an orchestra on this one and if there was it wouldn'ta been as good. It woulda been like that phoney orchestra in the Guns 'n Roses video before it starts raining. I mean give me a fuckin break, that's not gonna make you more acceptable people. Stick with the scratchy records. Apparently RZA originally did try to make something more traditional and orchestral like but Jim Jarmusch said no, make it more Wu-Tang.

The music perfectly captures the hip hop meets samurai themes of the movie. It manages to be chilly and still catchy. It's hard to walk out of the movie without having that theme song looping through your head. Jarmusch described the sound as "beautiful but slightly damaged."

BADASS COMEDY: KIKUJIRO

As much as I don't want this to be just a big fuck you to the oscars (fuck you oscars, by the way) I can't help but point out that those individuals refuse to acknowledge comedy. Even the foreign hollywood press (and how are all these foreigners getting into the hollywood press after the USA Patriot act, anyway? They should be giving people tips) know to at least give a separate comedy award to make up for the fact that they are too self conscious to vote for a comedy even if it is the best movie of the year and everybody knows it. For example Richard Pryor Live In Concert lost out to Kramer vs. god damned Kramer for best picture in 1979. From there it has all been downhill.

The problem is this. These people are fucking morons. Not the kind of morons who are math geniuses despite their extraordinary and magical handicaps. Just the ones that are stupid. To make up for that scientifically indisputable fact, they have to act real serious. It's the same as young teenagers today who try not to smile as a sign of power. Which in turn is tied to the behavior of gorillas who will fight each other if they make eye contact. Anyway I'm getting off track here. The point is that if they were to give Gene Hackman an oscar in a movie that was funny, isntead of just having a lot of dramatic speeches like he gets when he plays some asshole general or something, it would almost be like cutting off their own balls. They won't do that.

And I'm afraid scholars of the Badass Cinema can be the same way. They only want to see Badass Laureate Beat Takeshi in more yakuza movies and not in a comedy about him taking care of some fucking kid. But that's where they're wrong.

This year's winner by the way is Kikujuro by the way, not sure if I mentioned that. Picture this. You take some fucking american comedy. The type of movie where some fuckwad, through a series of coincidences or what have you, ends up having to take care of a kid. It happened to Burt Reynolds, it happened to Adam Sandler, it happened to Steve Guttenberg and I believe two or three other men in that particular franchise. It could happen to anybody. This time it happened to Beat. And what he did was he used his powers of airy editing and camerawork, his dry, deadpan humor and occasional shockingly inappropriate material, to turn that cornball plot into an actual good movie. A really funny and sweet one. Hooray for Mr. Takeshi.

I stand by what I said about gorillas though.

original review

Here we go with another new award here at the outlaws. Although all rules will always be broken in the outlaw awards, the idea of this new category is to honor stories about criminals and societal outcasts that are not in the action idiom. Stories about characters and relationships and what not, but full of crimes against law or societal type norms and etc. But few or no guns or car chases. Definitely no helicopters allowed in this category either. Or wirework. Also none of those retarded math genius movies they do now for the oscars.

This year the award goes to the underrated Jesus' Son apparently based on the short stories of some individual or other. The main character here is named Fuckhead played by the grungy Billy somebody or other who starred in a bunch of other movies that take place in the '70s. I think he was cast because he doesn't comb his hair but he turns out to act too. Anyway man his character Fuckhead has a bit of a problem with the drugs and is unable to live a normal life for long without fucking things up severely. That's why he's called Fuckhead you see, don't worry his mama didn't name him that, at least not in the movie I don't know about the book I haven't read it.

What makes this movie stand out is first of all the abundance of weird little dreamy moments like when Fuckhead finds himself stealing copper wires with Dennis Hopper or raising baby bunnies with Jack Black or stumbling through a graveyard that turns out to be a drive-in. And second of all the perfect balance of funny and sad. Scenes that make you laugh and then want to cry (the reverse of the Todd Solondz style of cry until you laugh). But ultimately this is a pretty happy movie at least as far as junkie movies go. Kind of a Drugstore Cowboy that leaves you smiling.

Also note supporting role by Jack Black back before he went on-call to walk around in his underwear for anybody with a movie camera.

Please go rent this movie and tell your friends. Even if you don't like it tell your friends that you did so they will rent it because they shouldn't have to listen to your bullshit anyway. I mean who the fuck are you fooling there bud. I'm sorry but it's true original review

Now in the futuristic year number 2001 there are many possibilities of subversive political movements. But back in the naive year of 2000 what could be more radical than a collective of militant filmmakers?

Remember back then, people were sensitive about the whole Columbine massacre thing. Blaming any movie where Leo Dicaprio or Keanu Reeves wore a trenchcoat.

Of course now we have the destruction of the twin towers, the oil wars in afghanistan, the sense of dread about what's gonna happen when the people finally realize that the oil sheik regime who stole the election was also started this whole mess before September 11 when they threatened to attack afghanistan if they wouldn't let our oil companies build a pipeline through their land. High school massacres seems quaint now. Hilarious even. The Trenchcoat Mafia is, I'm sure, headed for Broadway.

But back then we were dealing with people who wanted to take away our god given right to watch violent movies and let kids play video games and what not. At the same time we had an unprecedented, post-1999 movie year slump. I mean we are talking about a bunch of fuckin worthless garbage, made by cynical marketeers who obviously had no belief in the shit they were trying to shovel us. So I loved seeing a movie about these fanatics who tattoo director's names on their aims (I woulda gone with Peckinpah too, I think), who go abstinent until the completion of principle photography, who not only believe in their picture but are willing to die for it. I mean what if Orson Welles had set himself on fire when they asked him to have Charlton Heston play the Mexican in Touch of Evil? That's the kind of dedication we got here. If only today's generation of internet movie geeks really could take a page out of the book of the Patty Hearst generation. We wouldn't be seeing movies based on video games for a while, I'll tell you that.

original review

This is a new award and it was a hard one to decide. There were a lot of really top notch documentarian type films this year such as Beyond the Mat, Dark Days, Pimps Up Hoes Down and Best In Show. It was especially painful not to award Beyond the Mat which is the second best wrestling documentary of all time and really gets to the heart of what it's like to have your head bashed in by a chair while your daughter is watching. However the winner has to be the Hughes Brothers American Pimp, a thrilling feature film version of the research they were doing when they wanted to adapt Iceberg Slim's Pimp: The Story of My Life.

This is one of the funniest and scariest movies of the year. It explains the appeal (both sincere and ironic) pimps have to young men by showing their charismatic talk and ridiculous behavior. At the same time it shows the damage they do to women's lives without ever going over the top or getting preachy.

For such young directors the Hughes Brothers sure show restraint. They never once throw in an editorial comment or show an opposing viewpoint. They just have to let these dudes talk for a while, and there's everything you need to know about what's wrong with the prostitution industry. Some people might consider them whistleblowers or industry reformers but I think they are just a couple of born filmmakers who had a camera there at the right time and knew how to put together a real good funk soundtrack.

original review

The most important new category this year is OUTSTANDING ACHIEVEMENT IN STOICISM. This is pretty much self explanatory. It's for the fellas who don't fuck around with yappin up a storm. They say everything they need to say by not saying shit.

This year's winner is the great Benicio Del Toro who has officially replaced Sean Penn as the best actor of that generation, due to him having never done the movie I AM SAM. The closest he's come to oscar bait was when he grew a fat belly and poured beer all over himself for FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS. You know, like RAGING BULL.

Anyway I thought he was good in TRAFFIC but his real outstanding performance of this particular year happens to be the lesser known (and lesser) movie WAY OF THE GUN. He plays an almost Clint Eastwoodian character who makes up for what he lacks in personality (which is alot) by standing around, smoking and looking cool. I don't remember if he even talked in this movie but man did he look cool. I remember in this one scene he was just standing there, and it was, I mean that was really cool the way he did that in that scene there, in my opinion.

original review

Honorable mention: Chow Yun Fat, CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON

Well I almost had an award for "Breakthrough Badass Performance" and I woulda given it to "Huge Ackman" who supposedly played Logan Wolverine in the X-Men picture. But come on, even if I bought that "Huge Ackman" noise it would be a pretty ridiculous award to give now that it's 2002 and we know that all this allegedly existing individual has been in is a bunch of bad romantic comedies where he either walks around shirtless or wears a fucking blouse.

The fact is I do not buy the official story. That is not Huge playing Mr. Wolverine. It is in fact Young Clint Eastwood. At first I thought it was a computer effect but now that I've seen Final Fantasy and Digital Domain's Young James Brown for the Funk Blast movie ride at Seattle's EMP, it is clear that the technology does not exist to create such a realistic likeness. I mean look at the rollover image over there. Sure we can put a man on the moon, we can grow a human ear out of a mouse's ass, we can make broccoli and cauliflaur get down together but we cannot yet revive make a computer that can shit out a Young Clint that's that realistic.

So I can't explain this one. Maybe it's an echo in time, like a ghost. Maybe this dimension has a hernia and pieces of other worlds are dripping in. I just don't know. But good job Clint. You don't need those blades to be cool but it sure beats that astronaut shit.

original review

BADASS PERFORMANCE, MALE: SHAFT

This was another tough call and sure to be controversial. Ghost Dog's performance in the movie Ghost Dog: Way of the Samurai for example was unforgettable. He had that lazy eye, slow, calm talk and blank expression but knew how to slice a dude up with a sword or run in and shoot everybody between the eyes in about two seconds. However there were some who felt that he was too big and slow, too Dolemite and not enough Jet Li or something. They are wrong and should probaly keep their mouths shut to avoid future embarassment but this is a free country, moreso in the year 2000.

Chow Yun Fat was also a strong contender. He stretched his Badass range doing a very quiet and regal character who can fly around and use magical swords and martial arts instead of the old jump and shoot two guns at the same time routine. I've NEVER seen the guy do martial arts in any of his films and here he is taking over a role originally planned for Jet Li, and proving he was the better choice. Jesus!

And until the last minute I was also considering Richard Roundtree's supporting role in Shaft 2000, where he played Uncle Shaft. However while collecting photos from the movie for the collage over there I realized there was no choice but Samuel L. Jackson. Shaft was not the best Badass picture of the year and doesn't hold a bic lighter to the two pictures mentioned above but Sam sure was at the top of his game. Here he just glows with every power that makes him "cool" and Badass. His intense glare is more focused than ever. They dress him up in long leather coats and shave his hair and goatee just right and somehow he really does become the 2000 version of what Shaft was back then. I mean this dude will kick your fuckin ass. He'll quit the force and decapitate you with the badge. And he's in his '50s!

original review

I thought I reviewed this movie but I guess I didn't. It's kind of a Rocky in reverse, where a tough girl from the poor part of town tries to become a successful boxer. Of course the twist here is that she's fighting against men so she has the whole overcoming societal prejudices hurdle which is a little harder than Rocky's "boo hoo, I gotta practice using big slabs of meat" routine.

Of course she falls in love with one of her opponents and his name is Adrian. Get it? It's pretty formulaic but it works.

And you know why? Michelle Rodriguez. I mean I guess she's just some hollywood chick but she is convincing in this role. Her eyes seem so full of hate. I mean look at those pictures there. This bitch is gonna spit on you and tell you to thank her.

Since this movie Rodriguez has gone on to other tough girl roles including one based on a video game where she fights computer animated zombie dogs. I think eventually she'll get the right vehicle to make a real difference in the world of Badass Females.

Crouching Tiger and the Hidden Dragon did not invent the idea of chinese people flyin around kickin each other. It also did not invent the epic chinese mythology movie. But it sure did create a particularly masterful entry in this great genre.

I know you've heard it all before, I don't really need to explain my standpoint on this one. I mean what kind of a fuckin freako would you have to be to not like this movie anyway. After the first fight scene, the audience I saw it with exploded into applause. I felt the hairs standing up on the back of my neck. You don't get that in the van damme pictures, I don't care HOW good he does the splits.

Point is, I know saying this movie is good is like saying the sky is blue and that michael douglas likes em young and welsh. So there's not much to add here but let me just point out that this is a movie that showed us a different side of Chow Yun Fat, that finally gave Michelle Yeoh a good role to be seen by mainstream american audiences, that introduced us to an amazing young talent who would go on to such roles as being the chick from Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon in Rush Hour 2.

More importantly this is a true auteur/outlaw picture because it is a director who did not let industry rules or societal expectations stop him from doing the picture he wanted to do. What do you do after you've won oscars doing a jane austen movie and some critically acclaimed '70s dysfunctional family thing? Most people would not go off to asia to film an epic martial arts film in cantonese.

But that's what he needed to do. That's what the world needed him to do. So he did it.

An outlaw for you my friend. Throw those oscars in the trash.

original review

I mean they just don't make em better than this picture. This one has it all. The Badass action scenes. The dreamy, restrained cinematography and editing. The dry sense of humor. The hypnotic, outlaw award winning music. The unexpected meshing of samurai and american mob film genres. The themes of loyalty and honor. The intricate motifs of cultures and creeds colliding, or working together, or dying, or sputtering back to life. This is one you can, and should, and better fuckin watch again and again. And each time you get something more out of it. Until you die. And fuck if I know what happens then. There are many different ideas about that and I'm not about to get into them. But like I said that is sort of the theme of this movie anyway come to think of it, the different ways to view the world and what not.

Can you name one movie that even reminds you of the Ghost Dog feel? I can - last year's outlaw award winning The Limey. But this one is stranger and owes less to Point Blank. (Not that it's bad to owe Point Blank. I think I still owe it five bucks.)

(Sorry about that. I think that was some kind of witticism or something. An accident.)

This is the best and most original hitman movie I have seen in years. Enough of this wacky hitman shit, this is the real deal. It is also the best american samurai movie, far surpassing the American Samurai movies.

I am proud to honor Ghost Dog: Way of the Samurai as the best fuckin picture of the year.

original review