Posts Tagged ‘Wesley Snipes’
Wednesday, January 5th, 2011
Well, here we are with another new layer forming on top of The Mystery of Wesley Snipes. As of this writing Mr. Snipes recently started his 3 year bid for misdemeanor failure-to-file charges. This is the first but not last of his in-the-can DTV productions.
Unfortunately it’s not worth getting excited about. But when it was first announced it seemed promising, because it was gonna be directed by Abel BAD LIEUTENANT: ORIGINAL PORT OF CALL Ferrara, who last worked with Snipes on KING OF NEW YORK. That’s a guy with a strong voice and raw gritty feel, who at the very least you wouldn’t expect to make it generic. And he’d have a soundtrack by Schooly D. Unfortunately Ferrara left, the schedule was shortened and the script reworked on the fly for Italian TV director Giorgio Serafini.
(more…)
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Tags: DTV, Ernie Hudson, Gary Daniels, Robert Davi, Wesley Snipes, Zoe Bell
Posted in Action, Reviews, Thriller | 84 Comments »
Thursday, April 1st, 2010
BROOKLYN’S FINEST is a good not great cops and crooks movie from the director of REPLACEMENT KILLERS, Antoine Fuqua. I think it’s better than I’d heard, and I’ll tell you why, but obviously the most significant thing about it is that it has returned one of America’s greatest resources, Wesley Snipes, to his rightful home on the big screen. You guys know I love DTV, but Wesley is too powerful for DTV. He’s not as good in those. I would’ve felt like an asshole if I missed a chance to see him projected again, so I went and saw it. And by the way, I’m the only person in Seattle who did that yesterday. It’s down to one show at one theater and I was the one guy who showed up that day. (more…)
Tags: Antoine Fuqua, dirty cops, Don Cheadle, Ethan Hawke, Richard Gere, Wesley Snipes
Posted in Crime, Reviews | 26 Comments »
Saturday, August 29th, 2009
It’s Michael Jackson’s birthday. Would’ve been his 51st, and if all had gone perfect he would’ve been 17 shows into his run at the 02 in London. Hard to picture. It really feels to me like this country is going through a time of massive change, like the tectonic plates are shifting beneath us. It figures that the same year we have our first black president we also have to lose Michael and the last Kennedy brother. All earlier than I expected, but maybe we’re ahead of schedule. The big live news events of the year: an inauguration and two memorial services. And both Kennedy and MJ instantly reborn as beloved legends.
Now you’re really gonna think I’m a weirdo (though I’ve never owned a chimp) but the truth is I would’ve known it was Michael’s birthday anyway. For some reason it’s a date I always remember, so I usually watch at least a little bit of MOONWALKER. But this year, during all the mourning and memorializing, I picked up the MICHAEL JACKSON VIDEO GREATEST HITS – HISTORY dvd. I had been obsessing over the dancing in his videos. MTV had a marathon, but they kept showing the shorter versions. I was jonesing to see that scene they cut out of “Black Or White” where he smashes the car while grabbing his crotch and yelling. It’s on this DVD (the cover calls it “the controversial ‘Panther’ version”).
But the highlight for me was the “never-before-seen 18-minute long version of ‘Bad’.” (more…)
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Tags: Martin Scorsese, Michael Jackson, Paul Calderon, Wesley Snipes
Posted in Musical, Reviews | 38 Comments »
Sunday, July 20th, 2008
Vern asks Why Watch Dark Knight when you could be watching…
Well it looks like this week is Nerd Hanukkah, when everybody freaks out about the new Batman movie and then they go to San Diego and they seem to open presents every day. I’m not clear what exactly it is they do there but it apparently involves comic books and occasionally Halle Berry or Charlize Theron or somebody. There will be alot of exciting posters passed out or something and lots of exciting news will be broken about some movie or other. You’ll be hearing about your star treks and your hobbits and your Iron Man part 2s and what not. But there is one sequel that you won’t be hearing jack shit about there unless you are currently sitting there reading this article. Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to announce that I got the exclusive inside scoop on a movie and the title alone is gonna knock your god damn socks off. Your socks are gonna tear right through your fuckin Captain America boots, fly across the room and land on a table where somebody from some Dr. Who spinoff is signing autographs.
There’s only one thing to do, I gotta spit it out: THE ART OF WAR II: BETRAYAL. Starring WESLEY GOD DAMN SNIPES. (more…)
Tags: DTV, DTV sequels, Wesley Snipes
Posted in Reviews, Thriller | 1 Comment »
Sunday, April 27th, 2008
Some individuals have been writing to me asking for me to “go on record” about Wesley Snipes getting sentenced to three years for not filing his tax returns. I don’t know, man. It seems to me like a bullshit sentence. You can skip down a couple paragraphs to get to BOILING POINT but I’ll say a few things here by request.
I got mixed feelings about taxes. On paper I believe in them strongly. I mean somebody’s gotta pave the fuckin streets so you hot shots can drive around on them. I like having electricity in the street lights. There’s alot of anti-tax sentiment here in Washington, there’s a rich prick who has made himself richer with a for-profit company that every election files a bunch of anti-tax propositions. They usually get shot down as unconstitutional but they’re popular so the state government ends up following them and the next thing you know the fuckin library is closed two months out of the year and the bridges are ready to collapse with no money to even tape ‘em up with duct tape and there’s twice as many homeless people sleeping on my street and everybody is confused. WHY is the soccer field by my house closed?! I demand justice! … What’s that? Lower property taxes? Of course, where do I sign?
But on the other hand obviously I hate sending in my tax return and especially because I know the money’s not only (or even mostly) going to those important things like infrastructure and helping people to not die. In fact I have noticed that especially over these last 8 years they have been using my money to actually MAKE people die, which is the opposite of what I like. From what I’ve read Wesley’s “tax protest” comes from not wanting to support the government’s activities, so I can relate to that.
But a wise movie character once said “Motherfuckers always tryin to ice skate uphill,” and telling the IRS that the language in the tax code technically means that nobody has to pay taxes definitely counts as ice skating uphill. So I’m a little disappointed in Wesley on this one. (more…)
Tags: Viggo Mortensen, Wesley Snipes
Posted in Action, Reviews, Thriller | 2 Comments »
Friday, January 11th, 2008
Vern’s DTV Triple Header: LUNDGREN vs. SNIPES/STATHAM vs. SOME DUDE FROM TV I NEVER HEARD OF!!!
I try to watch alot of DTV movies, but I don’t always succeed. Most of you have probaly never watched them, and you may assume that they are very good and enjoyable, and capable of adding meaning to one’s life. However, this is almost never the case. In the world of DTV filmmaking it seems pretty clear that nobody gives a shit. Most of them are trying to just reach 90 minutes and throw the shit on a shelf. You could argue that more effort goes into pornography, since some poor girl has to take it in the ass. That’s elbow grease.
So this is an unusual couple of days because I’ve managed to watch a bunch of DTVs and all of them were actually okay. So okay, in fact, that I was able to watch them in two or less sittings. In this world that’s almost a miracle. Either that or I have somehow increased my attention span overnight.
But what about the DTV viewer on the go who only has time to watch one of the three? Which one should they watch – which one was the MOST okay? Good question.
The candidates:
MISSIONARY MAN by Dolph Lundgren
CHAOS with Jason Statham and Wesley Snipes
ROCKAWAY starring various (more…)
Only 1 person likes this post. Kinda sad.
Tags: Dolph, DTV, Jason Statham, Wesley Snipes
Posted in Action, Drama, Reviews, Thriller | 1 Comment »
Monday, July 2nd, 2007
THE CONTRACTOR, which comes out July 10th, is probaly the best DTV Wesley Snipes picture so far. Sure, it’s got that usual DTV vibe – Avid farts, cheesy electronical music, somber tone, not gonna make you smile or laugh too much, definitely not original in any way. But for this type of movie it’s pretty solid, and it takes advantage of Wesley’s talents. He runs alot, he gets in some shootouts, some car stunts, one quick but impressive fight. But most of all they let him act. He plays the sort of quiet, unfriendly-but-ultimately-kind badass he excels at. He gets to communicate what’s going on with facial expressions and posture more than with words, which is his thing. He gets some good bonding moments, including with his adversary after he mortally wounds him. In a DTV movie if there’s anything other than black and white/good and evil, any grey area at all, it deserves a shiny star on its sticker chart. I like that kind of shit.
When I got a screener for THE CONTRACTOR I got kind of nervous because I hadn’t seen his last one, THE MARKSMAN. And since the front cover for THE CONTRACTOR calls him “the world’s greatest marksman” I thought this might be an unadvertised sequel like Seagal’s BLACK DAWN was to THE FOREIGNER.
So I rented THE MARKSMAN first. In that one he plays a man with no name who leads a group of bland soldiers on a mission, I already forget what the mission was. Something to do with a nuclear power plant. This is the worst kind of Snipes movie, the kind where he obviously wasn’t on set very much, and the whole movie is built around the idea of doing as many Snipes-free scenes as possible while still pretending he’s the main character. The result is generic and incredibly boring, and the one and only moment I liked was at the end when the soldier he got along with least tried to talk to him buddy-buddy and he responded only with facial expressions. I bet they actually scripted something for him to say but Snipes knew he could do it better without words. Most of the movie has to do it without Snipes at all, though, and that’s a problem because the movie sure doesn’t have anything else to offer. (more…)
Tags: DTV, Wesley Snipes
Posted in Action, Drama, Reviews, Thriller | No Comments »
Sunday, August 13th, 2006
HARD LUCK
Well boys, time for another chapter in the ongoing drama THE MYSTERY OF WESLEY SNIPES, where we explore why a talented individual who starred in the three hit BLADE movies keeps doing nothing but straight to video. This new one, HARD LUCK, comes to video in October. While it’s not a particularly good movie, and it definitely shouldn’t be released theatrically, it’s at least a step up from the generic and sometimes horrible DTV action movies he’s been doing lately. It’s kind of a quirky crime movie with some occasional funny touches and an unorthodox (but not revolutionary) structure. The big news is that it reunites him with NEW JACK CITY’s Mario Van Peebles, who is director, co-writer and co-star of HARD LUCK.
A word about Mario Van Peebles. I’ve made fun of the dude alot because of the amount of DTV movies he appears in. But he’s regained my respect in recent years. I thought BAADASSSSS! was overrated. It was a TV-level movie that I think people gave a pass to because the subject is so interesting. But the one thing that was really great about it was Mario’s performance as his own dad. He was fuckin great. And then he carried that type of ’70s badass with a mustache persona into CARLITO’S WAY: RISE TO POWER, where his presence truly elevated the movie. So he has my respect now.
I’m not sure the same could be said for Sony Pictures Home Entertainment though, considering that they credited him as “Mario Peebles” on the front of this screener. Thanks alot, assholes.
There’s been talk for years that they could do a sequel to NEW JACK CITY where Nino Brown survived the shooting at the end and we find out what happens when he’s older and wiser. This is not that, but Wesley’s character “Lucky” is a similar sort of legendary Harlem hustler who people thought was dead. He took a fall and tried to turn his life around. A narrated opening sequence explains how he fell in love with his prison case worker, they moved to the south and bought a dog. But when a person in a movie is named Lucky, of course, it’s never meant literally. So Lucky suddenly gets sick and one day wakes up in the hospital surrounded by water. He thinks at first it’s the Ratpure, but actually it’s Hurricane Katrina that took his lady, his dog and his house. Melvin Van Peebles has a cameo as a crazy/wise old man who warns Wesley not to go to the Superdome, all the while enjoying a delicious fruit cup. (more…)
Only 1 person likes this post. Kinda sad.
Tags: Mario Van Peebles, vampires, Wesley Snipes
Posted in Comic strips/Super heroes, Crime, Drama, Martial Arts, Reviews | 1 Comment »
Sunday, May 8th, 2005
Dear Quint -
Or whoever’s home. I got an important dispatch for you from direct-to-video land. This one is regarding one called 7 SECONDS which I only care about because it stars Wesley God Damn Snipes.
That’s right, Wesley’s gone DTV. This is actually his second. The first one was called UNSTOPPABLE which is a good title for a Wesley Snipes film, except in that one his character really was pretty stoppable. Or at least nobody was really trying to stop him from doing anything, as far as I could tell.
[Before I go any further, I want to say upfront that this is gonna be an essay about Wesley Snipes as much as a review of 7 SECONDS. So I don't want to see any wiseasses asking where the review is. But I probaly will.]
Now I admit, without the BLADE saga I probaly wouldn’t give two shits about Wesley Snipes. But his great performances in all three of those movies made me realize that he is exactly the great American action star Hollywood has been looking around for and not finding. Van Damme and Seagal went DTV, Bruce pursued other options, Schwarzenegger and Stallone got worn out, Vin Diesel might’ve been a mistake, and they haven’t figured out what to do with The Rock yet. So meanwhile they’re thinking well, what about those other guys we use in the regular movies. Actors, I think they’re called. But the only two they can think of is Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. I guess Damon’s working out in the James Bourne movies. But otherwise I don’t know. (more…)
Only 1 person likes this post. Kinda sad.
Tags: DTV, Simon Fellows, Wesley Snipes
Posted in Action, Reviews | 1 Comment »
Saturday, January 1st, 2005
In this movie Christopher Walken plays Frank White who is the King of New York. He is not literally a king but actually some sort of crime boss of New York. He’s fresh out of the joint and unlike certain heroic individuals who choose to turn their life around and follow a path of Positivity, making the world a better place through art and culture, he decides to be king of new york. But he says he’s gonna build a hospital so that makes it okay.
The director is Abel Ferrara, an asshole director who I sort of like. I mean I never met the guy obviously but he’s one of those greaseballs like Vincent Gallo where, before you even see an interview with the guy, you just get the feeling he’s an asshole. In his movie DRILLER KILLER I didn’t even realize he was the star (he used a pseudonym) and I kept thinking this star really thinks he’s hot shit, it’s not just the character. What a fuckin asshole. But then I listened to the commentary track and heard Ferrara say the same exact thing about himself. So I had to like him.
Plus, some assholes are talented and I think Ferrara is, at least sometimes. He makes gritty, raw movies, alot of them bad, some of them good. His commentary tracks are always funny and even on a movie like this, maybe the best he’ll ever make, he makes fun of it like it’s some corny slasher movie. Here he makes a crime saga but he doesn’t have Hollywood germs tainting his blood so he makes it serious and brutal and unformulaic. You could argue that he’s one of these pretentious New York underground art type assholes, and that that’s not necessarily better than being a corny Hollywood asshole. True, but I prefer the New York asshole for making KING OF NEW YORK. Especially a macho guy like Ferrara. (more…)
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Tags: Abel Ferrara, Christopher Walken, David Caruso, Giancarlo Esposito, Laurence Fishburne, Paul Calderon, Roger Guenveur Smith, Steve Buscemi, Theresa Randle, Victor Argo, Wesley Snipes
Posted in Action, Crime, Drama, Reviews, Thriller | No Comments »
