This is the story of some magical midgets called the hobbits (sort of like the smurfs except caucasian instead of blue). What they do is, one of them inherits a powerful magic ring created by an evil individual from the past. If this took place in america in 2001, the hobbits would just go ahead and use the ring, and everybody would be all for it. It might not even make the headlines, it might be buried on page 11 like the story I read yesterday about how the Bush regime is already developing “small” nuclear weapons to use in the caves in Afghanistan.
But this is Hobbitland or whatever so they do the right thing, they take the weapon, they REFUSE to use it because they know it corrupts them, and they travel toward the Mountain of Doom, the only place it can be destroyed.
But it’s not easy to travel, because cars have not been invented, or jetpacks. They just use a horse. Also, there are 9 invisible guys in cloaks and about seven to eight hundred goblin monsters trying to kill them.
Meanwhile Ian Mackellan plays the mentor wizard Merlin, sort of Ben Kenobi with a more tacky beard. This guy is pretty wise except he smokes alot of weed and that slows his mind down, just like all you potheads that read my sight. In one scene he is so high he decides to go to Dracula’s castle for advice. Christopher Lee reprises his role as Dracula and he does pretty much what Dracula always does when you go to his house, except instead of seducing and biting Merlin he just does a magic kung fu fight with him (my favorite scene). (more…)
