Also it could dip into the themes from martial arts movies if it wanted to: different cultures, styles and camps, secret moves, important traditions. I’m sure we’ll eventually get a biography movie or two out of the sport. One about the Gracie family bringing jiujitsu to Brazil and then to the world by inventing and dominating the Ultimate Fighting Championship. Or maybe even better, one about Ken and Frank Shamrock, two street kids who became brothers by adoption, trained by their dad, becoming legendary fighters in Japan and then the US, having a falling out… somebody’s gotta do that movie.

But this isn’t so much about the sport, it’s about a family, two brothers who participate in it and their fuck-up dad who got them started as a wrestling coach. They’ve all been estranged for years because dad (Nick Nolte) was an alcoholic wifebeater, Tommy (Tom Hardy) ran away with mom, Brendan (Joel Edgerton) stayed with him. Now the sons resent each other and hate the dad. But the movie starts with dad coming home late one night to find Tommy sitting on his stoop.

Dad is sober now and trying not to blow it. Tommy menaces him by asking him to have a drink and thinly veiling his hostility as friendly chitchat. It’s a tense scene, almost like Jackie Brown coming home and finding Ordell at her place and having to play like everything’s cool. Except it’s the guy and his own son. It’s like Tommy’s gotta get revenge on him for being a bad person by not letting him be a good person.

Meanwhile there’s Brendan, who used to fight in the UFC but now is a physics teacher. He married his high school sweetheart and has daughters. But his house is being foreclosed on so behind his wife’s back he starts doing small time cage fights for cash.

Tommy – who’s just back from Iraq, by the way, so there’s that too – has his own reason to need money. Through two separate sets of unlikely circumstances the brothers both end up fighting in the same big tournament created by a hedge fund billionaire putting up a $5 million prize. Tommy has his dad train him, Brendan won’t talk to him when they see each other, but Tommy’s even worse, being with dad every day but refusing to have a father-son relationship with him, or even a fighter-trainer relationship, if you think about it. He just torments him by using him for his talents and rubbing his nose in their failed relationship at the same time. No wonder he’s gonna be in that Batman movie, because here he’s a super villain masterminding a scheme for emotional vengeance.

The structure is kind of novel. First they set up the characters and the stakes and everything. But then instead of spending the whole middle section training and building up to the tournament they roll through the training quick and get right to it. I guess it could be a series of training montages with character development breaks (and maybe a part where they go to a bar and get drunk and start dancing real weird and get in a fight) but instead they do split screen and flip through multiple montages at the same time.

I really liked this movie – I just wish the camera operators had been allowed access to the fight scenes. I know I’m a broken record on this, but it would be irresponsible to talk about this movie without pointing out how fucking ridiculous it is to shoot fights this way. It’s gotten to the point where it almost seems like mainstream directors all got together and agreed to play a prank on everybody by making movies in a way that no reasonable person would seriously think was a good idea to make them. You might as well be doing a damn radio play at this point, or an abstract animation segment.

(this is gonna go on for a bit, I’ll mark it so you can skip it if you need to)

———–

You might think they’re just trying to hide that these are actors and not fighters, but that doesn’t explain it. These two are obviously very dedicated to the training. If careful planning and editing can make it look like Uma Thurman can fight then I’m sure it could make it look like Tom Hardy can. I’m betting the choreography is good, because it’s by J.J. Perry (UNDISPUTED II, BLOOD AND BONE, THE SHEPHERD: BORDER PATROL, HAYWIRE), but there’s no way to know from watching the movie. The style is to switch rapidly from the viewpoints of several people who can’t see well – somebody outside of the cage at a weird angle, somebody out in the crowd with their view blocked by taller people (I’m not kidding) – and intercut this with closeups of the fighters and numerous shots of the faces of people reacting to the fight. Basically we’re not allowed to see the fight clearly ourselves, we have to imagine it based on the expressions of characters that are seeing it clearly on various TV screens at bars and get-togethers.

Doesn’t pretty much everybody agree on this now, that they gotta stop doing this shit? Are there directors and cinematographers arguing “I would film it clearly and communicate a story, but people now days just don’t like understanding what they’re seeing”? If this was a documentary you would say “Yeah, it’s too bad they weren’t able to get any good footage.” Since it’s not a documentary, I guess you’re supposed to say “This is great, this is just what it would feel like to watch it if it was real and they weren’t able to get any good footage!”

In the world of realit if there’s a big fight you’ve been looking forward to and then somebody gets knocked out in the first minute or so, it’s disappointing. Maybe it was an amazing knockout, maybe your guy even won, but it’s like, shit, that’s it? All this build up and that’s all we get?

But at least you fuckin saw it! And they’ll replay it a bunch of times. Not in WARRIOR. You won’t see it. Sorry. This is not pay-per-view. This is modern cinema. We got different rules here, boy. You got a pretty mouth.

I don’t remember any parts in any of the ROCKY movies where I couldn’t tell which fighter was which. In this one there were very few shots during the several fights where you could clearly see who was who and what was going on. I never saw this director Gavin O’Connor’s hockey movie. Did they actually do a hockey movie where you can’t see what the hockey players are doing or which team is which? My hunch is no, but these days I can’t rule it out.

I know, WARRIOR is an Oscar bait drama, it’s not supposed to be BLOODSPORT. But the tournament is pretty much the second half of the movie. That’s alot of screen time dedicated to something you don’t think anybody wants to watch. It just seems like if you can’t learn how to shoot something like that you should make a movie about some other topic, maybe something where people stand still, like a spelling bee or something. Or start eating better and training with Nick Nolte every day until you’re ready.

this concludes the “these motherfuckers have killed the cinematic language” portion of THIS review only
———

O’Connor actually provided finishing funds for John Hyams’s great documentary THE SMASHING MACHINE, and has been a fan of the sport ever since, but he told Elvis Mitchell on The Treatment that “It’s not about MMA. It’s about forgiveness.” Therefore I will forgive him for making an MMA movie that I don’t think has a single Asian or Brazilian in it. We already got REDBELT for the meaning of mixed martial arts, and NEVER BACK DOWN 2 for references to different fighters and stuff. But it is kind of weird that these WARRIORs never talk about their fighting styles or anything. It’s one of those movies where third act exposition is mostly narrated by two commentators instead of shown (I think all sports movies have a commentator shouting “I’ve never seen anything like it!”) but I wish they’d talk more about the real stuff that gets talked about during fights, it kinda took me out of it.

Also to be honest, I’m not into MMA enough to be 100% clear what “Tapout” is (other than a t-shirt worn when the Ed Hardy one is in the wash) or why they keep showing that guy with the Sideshow Bob hairdo.

By now it’s gotta sound like I didn’t like this movie, but I honestly did. I just feel like it’s not living up to its full athletic potential. Once you get past that it’s a good melodrama. The reasons to see it are Joel Edgerton, Tom Hardy and Nick Nolte. Edgerton continues his streak of likable, decent man’s men roles. I wonder if he might be the Australian Hollywood leading man they’re trying to make Sam Worthington into? (Nothing against that guy, I like him too.) Warning: do not think about how much Edgerton looks like a musclebound Conan O’Brien.

Hardy is more of a chameleon type of actor obviously. We’ve seen him skinny, hulking, British, gay, psychotic… here he’s playing Vin Diesel, right down to the giant neck muscles. He probly still had some of the muscle leftover from BRONSON and that’s good ’cause he needed to make the shoulders extra big to fill in the chip he’s got there. I don’t know too many other musclehead-assholes-that-you-feel-sympathy for characters to compare Tommy to, but he’s probly one of the more interesting ones.

Nolte is great too, a fragile, timid man trying to keep the monster inside. His face, his walk and his croaky, Popeye-ish voice say “life has beat the shit out of me for 60 years,” his eyes say “Yeah, I know, it was my fault, I’m not complaining.” So even as you hear indications about the unforgivable shit he’s done you feel bad that his son is just crushing him, and that he knows he has to just stand there and take it. When this duel meets its breaking point it’s devastating. Tommy gets what he wants and you’re like “Are you happy now?” and the answer is no, he’s really not. And then he’s at his most sympathetic.

The climactic fight has some topnotch macho melodrama that would’ve probly had me crying like a baby if the unconscionable direction of the previous half hour hadn’t pushed me away emotionally. So the real excitement is not the fights but the various showdowns between family members – Tommy ambushing his dad, Tommy and Brendan talking for the first time in years. In fact when the two brothers confront each other on the beach it’s actually shot like a fight scene, giving them big entrances marching toward each other. I almost want to think O’Connor meant to shoot those conversations like they were the real fight scenes, but that’s no excuse for failing on the other ones.

The extra edge this movie has is that it’s a little more nuanced and less manipulative than you expect. There are plenty of ways it could’ve ended to be emotionally satisfying but not as believable. This movie’s willing to have some touching moments but still leave things messy, even unresolved. I like it. It’s a manly way to be sweet, I guess.

* * *

SPECIAL NITPICKS AND SPOILERS SECTION
don’t read the rest  if you haven’t seen it

This is stuff that didn’t really hurt the movie for me, but that I thought was humorously implausible.

*There’s no way that in an organized event like this a guy could keep fighting with a broken shoulder. This would have to be a sanctioned fight so there’d have to be a doctor there that could stop the fight. When they showed a doctor in the ring after the fight I thought “You’re not doing your job!”

But it’s cool how it’s a reversal of the KARATE KID or BEST OF THE BEST thing. Instead of a guy staying in the fight despite an injured limb he’s trying to get the other guy to stop because of his injury.

* Come to think of it, these guys only have 0-1 guys in their corners. No cut man or anything. Shoulda brought in Clint Eastwood. He could’ve given some tips about keeping the cameras calm, too.

* I love that this billionaire wants to find out “who’s the toughest man on the planet,” but apparently only among middleweights. Because the toughest man on the planet would obviously weigh less than 160 pounds.

That’s a problem with trying-to-be-believable fighting tournament movies in the post-UFC era. The original UFC tournaments with no weight classes, rounds or time limits and very few banned moves were as close as we’ll get. You can’t legally do that stuff anymore, and an illegal Kumite type situation isn’t gonna attract your Kobas and your Boykas. They’d only do it if you kidnapped their loved ones, but that would make this a real action movie, not a drama. Sorry hedge fund guy, but your money is worthless, you’re not gonna find out who the toughest man on the planet is.

*It doesn’t really make sense that nobody involved figured out these two were brothers until they were about to fight. And if it did happen nobody would believe it wasn’t set up.

* Alternate ending: It should end exactly the same, with the one brother helping the other walk backstage, but after it fades to black some text comes onto the screen that says, “Since they left the ring early neither fighter was awarded the $5 million. THE END.”

1. Sylvester Stallone has met with Walter Hill to possibly direct his movie HEADSHOT.

Stallone is doing this movie that was gonna be directed by Wayne Kramer (RUNNING SCARED) but they had creative differences and broke up but are still friends. Now Deadline is reporting that good ol’ Walter Hill is one of the directors Stallone has met with as a possible rebound.

Honestly I don’t have high hopes for the movie. Nice title and everything, but apparently the disagreement was over Stallone wanting it to be more of a comedy than Kramer did, and I don’t really trust Stallone’s ear for comedy and laffs. Still, this is an exciting story because a) maybe Walter Hill could make something out of it and b) this could be a good sign for the type of directors he might look at for EXPENDABLES 2. I didn’t put Hill on my list because I read somewhere that he gets so much money from the ALIEN movies that he only works when he really wants to. But I know alot of you guys had him on your lists. If he’s meeting with guys like that for the one movie I’m sure the subject of the other one comes up too.

2. Holy shit, Schwarzenegger might do a movie with the director of BITTERSWEET LIFE.

While Entertainment Weekly has made a big story about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s first post-governorship project (a Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos style piece of garbage cartoon for little kids):

the real story is that he’s at least considering the English language debut by Kim Ji-Woon, according to slashfilm’s sources anyway. Liam Neeson was set to star at one point, he left, and this other guy happened to be available.

If Schwarzenegger was just gonna continue in the vein of his last couple movies I wouldn’t be too excited about it. We don’t need more COLLATERAL DAMAGEs. But I’ve seen quotes from him about wanting to follow Clint’s model and do movies that take advantage of his age instead of try to ignore it. Working with a great director like this would be very promising, and both parties could benefit. I mean if he’s gonna direct a movie in the English language he might as well get a lead he wouldn’t be able to find an equivalent of back at home.

I bet you Arnold ends up in AVATAR 2, too.

3. There’s a trailer for WARRIOR now.

It looks like a completely generic feel-good sports movie except it happens to be about mixed-martial arts and have an incredible set of leads: Tom Hardy (BRONSON) and Joel Edgerton (ANIMAL KINGDOM) as estranged brothers, Nick Nolte as their dad/trainer. The stunt coordinator is J.J. Perry (BLOOD AND BONE, UNDISPUTED II). I guess this movie was the reason he didn’t do UNDISPUTED III.

4. MORTAL KOMBAT: LEGACY: APOCALYPSE: THE RISE OF MORTAL KOMBAT’S REVENGE coming April 12th.

That unofficial MORTAL KOMBAT movie starring Michael Jai White has led to an official series of webisodes or netlings or whatever it’s called. Same director, same cast, not sure if the fight choreographer is still Larnell Stovall. It starts April 12 and here’s a clip, a little cheesier than the other one in my opinion but hey, it’s free. I’m not gonna be a bitch about it. Maybe it’ll be fun.

5. KNIGHTRIDERS now old enough to wear a fannypack

Josh N. reminded me that this Sunday is the 30th anniversary of the release of one of my favorite movies, George Romero’s KNIGHTRIDERS. He’s gonna visit one of the shooting locations. Those of us who don’t live around there can celebrate by watching the movie while jousting on actual motorcycles.

In sort-of-related news I purchased a book called 101 Action Movies You Must See Before You Die mainly because I flipped through it and noticed that it had KNIGHTRIDERS in there. I’ll have a review of that eventually.

6. The second annual ACTIONFEST is going on right now in Asheville, North Carolina.

If I was there the movie I’d be most excited to see would be NEVER BACK DOWN 2, directed by and starring Michael Jai White. It sounds like the connection to part 1 (which was a cheesy teen movie version of the underground fight tournament subgenre) is that it involves the same fictional tournament, “The Beatdown.” I’m hoping it will be this generation’s UNDISPUTED II.

They also have MACHETE MAIDENS UNLEASHED! (documentary on exploitation movies of the Phillipines by the director of NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD), that crazy looking movie BUNRAKU, an MMA documentary called FIGHTVILLE, Takeshi Kitano’s new gangster movie OUTRAGE, Takashi Miike’s 13 ASSASSINS, (which I’m hearing nothing but raves for so far – I guess you can watch it on demand and in theaters soon), and some other stuff. I rented a couple of the older movies they’re showing so I might have a couple tie-in reviews.

We got Mouth, FTopel, Rook and maybe others on the scene there. Hopefully they’ll keep us updated in the comments here.

Director Christopher Nolan first made his mark on cinema with the black and white
nah, don’t worry, I’m not gonna go over all that shit. Also I figure all of you have already seen INCEPTION three more times than I have so I’m not gonna worry about spoilers. To be honest it would take alot of effort to spoil this one because it’s so complicated to explain what’s going on in order to give it away. But still. Don’t read this until after you’ve seen it. Goofus would read this before seeing the movie, but Gallant would wait until after he saw it and then come back and read this.

INCEPTION is a thought provoking movie, a story full of ambiguity, of possible interpretations, of ideas and questions. The main question it makes you ponder, judging from most of the reviews and comments I’ve seen, is “is this a full-fledged masterpiece, or is it just a really fucking good movie that’s only partially-fledged and therefore not technically a masterpiece although very close in my opinion but it depends on the definition of masterpiece you’re going by which of course varies wildly but if you ask me it’s like obscenity, I know it when I see it?”

It’s funny when that’s the biggest disagreement. Yes, it’s a super fucking excellent film, the best I’ve seen in ages, one that made me shiver and break into a cold sweat and thank the Lord for giving me eyeballs… but a masterpiece? Come on. Let’s not go very slightly overboard here. Again, I want to reiterate it’s a great, great movie that I love and cherish.

It seems most everybody really digs this one. That doesn’t really fit established patterns. Nerds eat their young, they gotta destroy what they love. I thought DARK KNIGHT was so popular there had to be a huge backlash against Nolan on his next one, but I don’t see it yet.

I guess part of the masterpiece debate is whether or not a masterpiece needs to say something profound or emotionally relatable (can it just be a masterfully crafted piece of entertainment?) and then if applicable whether or not it does say something profound or emotionally relatable. I’m leaning toward “yes” on the parentheses part and “probly not” on part B.

I love that it’s based around an idea being a weapon like a bomb or a poison. You sneak in and plant it in the right spot and boom. Consciousnesses maimed. This concept of the idea changing the world, or changing lives, just by being thought is more cool than deep, I think. But I also don’t think that matters. Deep is better, but cool is acceptable. (Deep and cool is the best, see THEY LIVE or ROBOCOP or THE MATRIX.)

If the movie’s a masterpiece it’s because the script is a work of genius. It’s constructed more meticulously than the “dream levels” in the movie. The first hour throws you in, sets you up and lets you flounder a little trying to understand what’s going on. Then as you feel you’ve caught on it turns into a heist and it’s the best of both worlds: the beloved familiar of the classic caper movie structure meets the fresh and new of this weird “sneaking into people’s dreams to give them ideas” concept. I always love a good Assembling an Elite Team and of course what kind of an asshole doesn’t get a kick out of a good Going Over the Plan? You always see this in a MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE or an OCEAN’S movie, you got the mastermind giving a big speech about what all the obstacles are to get past and how they’re gonna do it and you’re excited about how clever their idea is and suspensed about knowing it’s not all gonna work as planned and they’re gonna have to come up with some new shit on the fly.

The Assembling an Elite Team and the Going Over the Plan are like Parliament-Funkadelic vamping for 10 minutes before setting off The Bomb. They’re establishing a rhythm and a groove and you’re nodding your head along with it and you’re into it and part of the reason is because it makes you anticipate what’s coming next. You smile bigger and bigger the longer the groove goes on because you know eventually it’s gonna explode. And in INCEPTION it explodes into what must be pretty much a straight hour of action and suspense scenes.

You know what, let me switch analogies on you. I know it’s kind of sudden but if you’re smart enough to follow along with INCEPTION then you can follow my rambling. INCEPTION is like that board game “Mouse Trap.” Nolan takes his time setting up that complicated Bill Goldberg device and it’s worth the time it takes because when it’s all finished he lets that metal ball roll and you just sit back and watch all the contraptions do their thing.

I gotta admire that this movie can cut between three sets of characters existing simultaneously in three dream worlds where we understand that time passes at different speeds… but we can pretty much follow what’s going on. Also, I’ve given Nolan some shit about his action direction before, because especially in BATMAN BEGINS I think some of those fights should be better choreographed and shot. But once again the guy proves that he does know his shit when it comes to the vehicle chases.

Also there’s some spectacular effects in here that are so well done I honestly don’t know how they did it. I think I heard they built a giant rotating hallway (like the bedroom in A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET) for the incredible fight scene where they fight on all the surfaces, but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t look like Joseph Gordon Levitt really did that shit. (He doesn’t rewind it and tell us he really did that shit like THE HUMAN TORNADO does when he jumps naked off that ledge, but it sure looks real). I was even more impressed by the weightlessness, that whole DePalma style suspense scene where he had to tie up a bunch of people and float them into an elevator to provide the feeling of falling without gravity (!). I haven’t been an astronaut for a long time but that looked authentic to me so until proven otherwise I’m gonna assume they actually went into space to film all that stuff.

And there are plenty of smaller things that are impressive. The whole cast is great. One character that was more interesting than expected was Ellen Page as Ariadne (was that really her name? That’s what IMDb says). I like how she starts out as the newcomer, the one used as an excuse to explain to the audience how things work. But she’s so smart she quickly gets ahead of the explanations and figures out things that the other characters haven’t picked up on yet.

(Ellen Page’s character fills in a job vacated by Lukas Haas, and then you got Levitt and DiCaprio… it’s some kind of War of the Babyfaces.)

Tom Hardy steals alot of the movie as the, I don’t know… dandy badass master of disguise I guess we’ll call him. I’m happy Hardy did it ’cause I feel much better about him playing Mad Max now. I mean of course he was good in BRONSON but it’s impossible for me to think of that movie, character and performance without being tainted by my feeling that it’s a poor man’s CHOPPER. So when he got the Mad Max gig I couldn’t help but think wait a minute, Bana’s the rich man’s Bronson, he’s actually Australian and in real life he drives the same car from MAD MAX in dangerous high speed races. And you’re going with Tom Hardy? But now that I’ve seen this I get it, I believe he can pull it off.

Also great to see Ken Watanabe in a bigger role than I expected. And at first you think he’s some corporate asshole, but he’s part of the team so they respect him and you like him. Glad to see Tom Berenger on the big screen again too, though I gotta admit I was kinda surprised how he looks now. I guess he was already an older gentleman when he was playing all those badass roles in the early ’90s. Time had to catch up to him eventually. Anyway hats off to Nolan for continuing his DARK KNIGHT crusade to put our DTV heroes back on the ol’ silver screen.

As for DiCaprio, he’s great as always but I do think he should try to mix it up soon. He’s so good at being the intense star of big expensive movies by great directors, but those roles are starting to blend together. You can’t help but notice this guy’s not totally different from his character in SHUTTER ISLAND who’s also dealing with some reality bending and is haunted by memories of his wife’s death. It’s not a problem for this movie at all and I’m sure he’s worried he’s gonna dilute his power if he tries to loosen up and do an Adam Sandler movie or something. But I do think he’s a good enough actor it would be interesting to see him in a goofy comedy or playing a show-offy supporting nutball character or of course a despicable villain. He did try to play AMERICAN PSYCHO right after TITANIC but somehow he’s never ended up getting a role like that. I can’t help but think of a different world where it was him playing the Joker in DARK KNIGHT.

Nolan really won my respect with DARK KNIGHT, to the point where I almost forgot he was the guy who did MEMENTO. That’s a movie I only saw once a long time ago. Back then I thought it was plenty good but a little overrated. I thought it was a clever idea executed well, nothing more, nothing less. Some day when I watch it again maybe I’ll feel the same, maybe I’ll discover new depths that everybody else was seeing in it that I was missing. Either way, it makes sense that INCEPTION is the movie that guy would make ten years later. He gets more skills, more money, more ambition, he comes up with this crazy, complicated shit and gets a studio to bankroll it. Everybody’s making phony stories now about the Riddler being in the next Batman movie. Maybe it’s true though, because this guy is the Riddler. These are some crazy fuckin puzzles he’s making through the medium of the movies. And making it the movie of the summer.

I mean, let’s not lose track of the fact that this is a big summer blockbuster about a world where CEOs are specially trained to secure their subconscious so that corporate spies can’t break into their dreams to steal their ideas and a team of dream thieves uses this fact against one CEO so they can pretend to be part of a security force he’s dreaming so that they can trick him into having an idea that another CEO wants him to have in order to prevent a monopoly on alternative energy so they have to bring him into a dream within a dream within a dream to make him think he thought of the idea himself. (SPOILER.) I mean, some summer movies are about trying to survive an earthquake or finding a treasure map on the back of the Declaration of Independence. This one requires some paying attention. Even if you compare it to the greats like ALIENS, JAWS and RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK and what not… I wouldn’t say it was better or even quite as good. But I think it’s kind of more challenging. It asks more of you, requires you to be attentive.

I will admit, I got a pretty good brain but not the fastest processor. So maybe it’s easy for most of you but I did have to work the ol’ brain muscles to keep up, I felt like I was running along behind it. Not as out of breath as Clint following the president’s limo in IN THE LINE OF FIRE, but not that much better. But I felt like I kept up pretty good and I would like to take this opportunity to thank the script for helping me out with that. I felt like they had the Goldilocks-approved just right amount of exposition. Every once in a while a character says one sentence or so of explanation of what’s going on, but no more. It’s kind of like a talk radio guy resetting when he comes back from the commercial. He reminds you what the topic was but he doesn’t get into all that “22 after the hour, showers expected tonight” and all that bullshit. Just enough to keep you up to speed.

But I like to think I’m a pretty adventurous moviegoer. I like Brian Bosworth but I also like to be challenged. I like weird shit and alot of times I like movies that everybody else hates, including but not limited to various Matrixes, Star Warses, Hulks, Crystal Skulls, Brown Bunnies, etc. We, the ladies and gentlemen of the internet, seem to fall in love with movies like CHILDREN OF MEN that aren’t necessarily gonna catch on with the type of people I was watching INCEPTION with. Alot of teens, alot of text messaging going on as the movie started. I thought I was gonna have to break some bones and phones. During the movie there was alot of shifting around in the seats. I remember this sound from the remake of SOLARIS. I was being one of those elitists I guess, I was thinking man, it’s great Chris Nolan got to cash in his DARK KNIGHT check to make this one on a big budget, because this is asking too much for normal people to follow along with.

But then in that last scene, the moment when it cut away (even though come on, you knew that had to be where it was going, right?) I heard about 150 simultaneous gasps across the theater, and some laughing and clapping. I guessed everybody was bored and waiting for it to be over, but in fact they were riveted. The only time I ever remember an audience reaction like that was when I saw BATMAN BEGINS at a preview screening. I really liked it but I convinced myself everybody else was bored with the exploration of Bruce Wayne like they were with all that psychodrama I loved in HULK. But then when Gordon pulled that Joker card out it was like a bomb went off the response was so loud.

By the way, good one Nolan, putting the title right at the end again. I don’t know if it’s his touchdown dance or his “that’ll do, pig.” But he get everybody riveted and then drops it on ‘em. Bang. Fade to black. INCEPTION. Yeah, that’s right, that’s the title of the movie that just knocked your socks off. Now you know who to complain to if there’s any damage to your socks.

The other complaint I’ve heard besides “by my definition of ‘masterpiece’ it doesn’t quite qualify” is about the dreams being so normal. It definitely occurred to me too – for a movie all about dream worlds it’s sure not very surreal at all. It could use some of the ol’ Cronenberg lumps of technology. Or it wouldn’t even have to be that weird. If it were my dream I’d use my flying powers, there’d be creepy weird animals who know how to talk and alot more fuckin goin on.  But as Mr. Majestyk pointed out it’s important to the plot that the constructed dream worlds pass for reality. And also the dreamy shit been done many times before. All kinds of filmatists have had their hand at weird dream shit – which themselves don’t usually remind me of actual dreams. I kind of like that his dream worlds are normal until they become unstable. It’s avoiding the obvious approach.

In conclusion, masterpiece I guess. I don’t know, I’d have to see it again I think.

[ratings]

Hardy seems a little self-conscious at times, but then so does the character. The important thing is that he throws his full weight into the craziness, spending a good deal of the movie naked, smeared in paint, getting in knock down fights with the screws, yelling that everybody’s a bunch of cunts. One of his main hobbies is taking hostages, even though it never seems to get him anywhere. I like when the warden asks him what he wants and he thinks about it for a second and asks, “Well, what’ve you got?” Usually his only demand is a disgusted “Fuck off,” which is too bad because I read that the real guy likes to make demands like an inflatable doll, a helicopter and a cup of beans.

They do try to play him for laughs, like in the (completely made up I guess) section where he gets out and tries to fit into society. They have a long scene of him in an uncomfortable suit trying to smile and be polite while awkwardly drinking a giant, fancy cocktail covered in umbrellas and shit. Director Nicolas Winding Refn, who did those PUSHER movies, gets a pretty good look going, very carefully designed and staged.

I guess my favorite part is when he’s in an asylum drugged up and it takes him forever to do regular physical activities. In one scene he spends minutes trying to spit at a guy, in another he slooooooowly walks across a gym floor while the other inmates dance goofily around him. They all look like zombies, but especially him.

I’m not familiar with Refn’s other movies. From this one it seems like he has chops, but like with Hardy there were times when it kept nagging me that the guy’s putting on a pose, playing dressup. Both of them mostly pull it off, there are just little moments here and there. The constant use of classical and choral music struck me as a little pretentious, made me think of that nut that did AMERICAN HISTORY X and then dressed up as Osama bin Laden in Marlon Brando’s acting class. But I guess it’s kind of a cliche to use that kind of music for an insane asylum, so maybe he’s not really trying to be arty. Anyway, it was a good move because it tricked all the critics into saying it’s like A CLOCKWORK ORANGE. I checked a couple reviews just now and was amazed that they didn’t mention a way more obvious comparison: fucking CHOPPER. Maybe that movie’s not as well known as I thought it was.

I enjoyed BRONSON enough, but I can’t avoid comparing it to CHOPPER. It’s not the exact same story, but it’s the same damn recipe: heavily buzzed film festival favorite where previously obscure actor completely physically transforms himself and gives balls-to-the-wall performance in a fictionalized, meandering first-person-narrated portrait of a real life repeat offender criminal who spends most of his life in prison and becomes a celebrity for his insane, violent exploits and unrepentant bravado, starts career as writer/artist, seems to think he’s sticking it to the man. And just by definition that means they end up having a bunch of similar content: attacking somebody to try to get transferred, getting chewed out by the warden, spinning headline montages, smiling crazily into the camera, playful filmatistic gimmicks to try to make a bunch of scenes of standing around in prison cells less boring.

That’s fine, but the problem is that I think CHOPPER’s alot better. Both live or die on how interesting the title character is, and to me movie Chopper is way more interesting than movie Bronson. See, Bronson’s real in-your-face about how crazy he thinks he is, how evil. He’s so proud of himself, so cocky, like a baby who just shat his diaper and thinks it’s hilarious. He even appears on a stage as if he’s hosting the movie, sometimes wearing clown makeup (craaaazy!) and he actually cackles.

Chopper probly wants attention just as badly, but his method of intimidation is more original. He’s a maniac too (the man has somebody cut off both his ears, for example) but he’s funny. He makes you laugh and feel bad for doing it. He threatens you by being overly friendly, making small talk and jokes. He’s a master at the fine art of avoiding the elephant in the room, and he is the elephant, and that’s the whole problem is that he’s in the room with you. He’s way scarier, and yet way more likable than Bronson.

Chopper also has more facets to him. He has remorse. He stabs people and then feels bad about it, apologizes and stays to comfort them while help is on the way. And he has his hobby of killing criminals and pretending he’s on some vigilante mission of justice, using that bullshit excuse to play the cops like a fiddle. He outsmarts everyone. Yeah, he’s cocky too, but he earns it more.

Nothing against the real guy, but in the movie Bronson doesn’t seem to have as much depth. He’s a tough bastard, but that’s about it. He does some funny crazy shit sometimes (like paint on an art agent) but he’s basically stupid, just a brat kid in an adult body, throwing a fit at everyone and everything. He’s G.G. Allin without the music career. When he gets locked up after 69 days of freedom he says he’s “building an empire,” and I actually found myself siding with the uptight warden who bluntly says, “You’re ridiculous.” And you might be supposed to agree there, and also when the guy calls him “pathetic.” But I don’t know man, earlier in the movie it really seems like you’re supposed to think he’s alot cooler than I did. And at the end you see how his life gets worse and worse from all his lashing out, but it’s like yeah, no shit. You learn that around the same time as toilet training, usually.

I guess the movie just doesn’t communicate to me what’s supposed to be special about this guy. He punched more people than anybody else in British prisons? Put him in the Guinness Book, but I don’t know about a whole movie. Maybe start with a Christmas special. The Peanuts always worked better in short specials than as movies, so that might be the same with Bronson.

But maybe I’m extra harsh on this guy because of his crimes. I don’t care about him stealing money of course, but the sonofabitch stole one of our precious American resources, the very stage name of one of the all time great badass icons. What’s going on over there, fellas? I love you British, you published my books and released the new Seagal movie. But you got this guy trying to steal “Charles Bronson” and that director last year with the nerve to use the name “Steve McQueen.” And I can tell you’re eyeing “Lee Marvin” and “Clint Eastwood.” I can feel it. So let it be known that they’re off limits. Lay off, guys.

As far as the MAD MAX issue – Variety has confirmed that Hardy is cast in FURY ROAD, but didn’t say who he was playing and made a bigger deal about Charlize Theron, which would indicate that he’s in a supporting role. But the Hollywood Reporter reported (from Hollywood) that he was replacing Gibson as Max. Using a combination of IMDb and crude math skills I have figured out that Gibson was 29 when he did BEYOND THUNDERDOME (makes you feel old, huh?) and Hardy is now 32, so the age is about right. Throw a white streak of hair on him I guess.

I don’t think he’s a bad choice but I was hoping if Gibson wouldn’t do it they’d at least replace him with another little known Australian. Or with the actual Charles Bronson (the original one from DEATH WISH), but it’s a little late for that. We’ll see how Hardy turns out. I wish Gibson would come back, but to me George Miller is more important than Gibson and I’m willing to make that sacrifice to see what he has in mind for that world. Hopefully it’ll be worth it.

Anyway, BRONSON’s okay I guess. I wasn’t as into it as I was hoping, but I sort of liked it. They might want to go the HAVOC 2: NORMAL ADOLESCENT BEHAVIOR route and just release it on video as CHOPPER 2. There’s a little bit of bareknuckle boxing so UNDISPUTED 4 would be a possibility too, but I’d rather they save that title for Marko Zaror.

[ratings]

Like

Unlike