I use hands to help my fellow man / I use hands to help with what I can / But when I face an unjust injury / Then I change my hand into FIST OF FURY

Posts Tagged ‘Seagal’

I’m giving away two Blu-Rays of CODE OF HONOR starring Steven Seagal

Wednesday, June 29th, 2016

tn_codeofhonorOkay, everybody remain calm, I know this is fucking crazy but two of you lucky individuals are about to have your lives changed FOREVER. Some day soon, a CODE OF HONOR blu-ray will arrive at your home, and from that moment until the end of your life, you will never have not once been an owner of CODE OF HONOR on blu-ray. These sort of momentous events cannot be planned for. The best we can do is just take a deep breath and let destiny do her thing.

Here’s how to enter: in the comments, write me a sentence or a paragraph about a movie character you like that operates by a code of honor. It could be a Seagal character or otherwise. I will (somewhat arbitrarily, I suspect) choose two winners at noon on July 5th, which also happens to be the release date of CODE OF HONOR starring Steven Seagal as basically The Punisher.

Please make sure to use your current email when you sign in so I can get a hold of you if you win.

One catch: Lionsgate will only ship inside the U.S. Sorry about that my international friends. I don’t make the rules. That’s just how the lion’s gate swings. (read the rest of this shit…)

VERN has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the books SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL, YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER!: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS and NIKETOWN: A NOVEL. His horror-action novel WORM ON A HOOK will arrive later this year.

Inspirational artwork for the day

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014

Carsten P. Dietrich, who is a regular poster here, sent me a great Seagal picture he did that I thought needed to be shared. He described it as a scene from “that animated prequel to UNDER SIEGE, where we see Ryback going on various black-ops missions whilst regularly flashing back to his youth on the streets of Japan etc.” It kind of reminds me of those Hungarian comic book adaptations we were talking about a little while ago. And there’s a cameo in the picture relating to an implied back story from the movie.

seagalCPD

Click on the clipping to see the whole picture on Carsten’s tumbler.

He also shared with me his cartoon portraits of Mad Max and Snake Plissken, and going through his archives I saw a couple Riddick and a John McClane (specifically from A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD, but that makes it more unique).

This might open the floodgates to write this but maybe that’s not a bad thing: I know alot of you are great artists who have sent me badass cinema related links like this, should I start posting some of them from time to time?

VERN has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the books SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL, YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER!: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS and NIKETOWN: A NOVEL. His horror-action novel WORM ON A HOOK will arrive later this year.

Steven Seagal: Lawman Season 2 Episodes 7-8

Sunday, December 12th, 2010

tn_lawman4seagalogicalcatchupEpisode 2.7: “The Innocents”

This episode opens in the SUV with Colonel Fortunato getting a phone call. “Is that the narc call we’ve been expecting?” Seagal asks/expositions. They go to back up narcotics in stopping a vehicle they suspect of transporting large quantities of the wicked substances. As they watch the stop go down Seagal observes, “That’s strange, man. They got two women in the vehicle.”

It gets stranger, Chief. As the dope dog sniffs around you notice they got a baby in the car too. “Just ain’t right” Seagal says. This theme goes back to the previous episode, Seagal’s indignation at people putting children at risk by having them around criminal activity.

It turns out it’s just weed, but it’s huge bricks with the weight already Sharpied on them. They use Fortunato’s phone to add it up and if the measurements are correct (which I bet they are, if you’re responsible enough to label each package I’m sure you’re gonna get it right) it’s just under 100 pounds.
(read the rest of this shit…)

VERN has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the books SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL, YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER!: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS and NIKETOWN: A NOVEL. His horror-action novel WORM ON A HOOK will arrive later this year.

Steven Seagal: Lawman Season 2 Episodes 5-6

Saturday, December 11th, 2010

seagalogicalcatchup2Next week, if all goes as planned, I will be doing an in-depth analytical study that will completely reinvent film criticism forever as well as change the definition of what it means to be an American, a human, or a spiritual being. In my opinion. Obviously I’m toning that down a little so that your expectations are not too high, but it should be pretty good.

In the near future I also hope to review BORN TO RAISE HELL, the new Seagal movie that’s available in Region 2. But before I do either of those things I think it’s important to fulfill previous obligations, so I will be reviewing the last four episodes of season 2 (and the series?) of STEVEN SEAGAL: LAWMAN. At the end of those I will introduce a new still-evolving theory about the current state of Seagalogy. (read the rest of this shit…)

VERN has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the books SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL, YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER!: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS and NIKETOWN: A NOVEL. His horror-action novel WORM ON A HOOK will arrive later this year.

Half Past Dead

Saturday, November 16th, 2002

I don’t know how to explain my fascination with Steven Seagal, but you can read my review of ON DEADLY GROUND and maybe you’ll understand. I don’t think the dude is exactly advancing the cause of Badass Cinema with his works, but I still enjoy every new chapter of his saga.

This time around we find Seagal working with a young rapper named Ja Rule, stealing cars for some European guy. BUT NEVER FEAR. Although Seagal may SEEM to be a mere car thief (or I guess, since he’s Steven Seagal, an ex-CIA black ops car thief), it is heavily implied in the opening scene that he MAY actually be some kind of undercover FBI agent. I don’t want to give anything away though, who knows if he really is undercover or not. Nobody really knows until they themselves have seen the movie. (read the rest of this shit…)

VERN has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the books SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL, YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER!: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS and NIKETOWN: A NOVEL. His horror-action novel WORM ON A HOOK will arrive later this year.