Posts Tagged ‘rapper-turned-actor’

The Longshots

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008

Limp Biscuit singer Fred Durst, who makes his directorial debut with THE LONGSHOTS, turns out to be a natural born director. I was surprised when I read somewhere that David Fincher was mentoring ol’ soul patch, bringing him on the set of ZODIAC and showing him the ropes. I think Durst almost took over for Fincher on LORDS OF DOGTOWN before Catherine Hardwicke did. There were a bunch of false starts but now that he’s finally made one it’s clear that the man has some serious directational chops, it seems he was born to direct movies. Let me be very clear, this is what Fred Durst was put on the planet for. This much is certain now.

Now that I’ve said that I’m just gonna talk about what the plot is and stuff, things that Fred Durst already knows, so if he is reading this he can stop now.

Ice Cube plays Curtis Plummer, the un-employed brother of the loser deadbeat dad of a shy, unpopular high school girl named Jasmine Plummer (Keke Palmer). Jasmine’s mom is worried about her so she pays Curtis five dollars an hour to hang out with Jasmine after school. Curtis makes no effort to make it fun, doesn’t even bother to make her dinner the first time. She doesn’t like him hanging around and tries to run away.

But then one day Curtis gets her to throw a football. Much to everyone’s surprise she Okay, do you think Fred Durst has left yet? I hope so. Okay guys, I apologize for lying to you. Fred Durst is not a great director. Not that he’s terrible or anything, but this is not a very good movie. But I think Fincher was on to something with this “teach Fred Durst how to direct” scheme. Movies take a long time to make, like about a year. And that’s only the ones that get made, some directors spend years on movies that never even start filming. Fincher knows that more than anybody. That’s why he knew that by tricking Fred Durst into thinking he was a movie director, the world would be spared his unique brand of backwards hat rap rock. The more time he’s concentrating on setting up shots the less time he’s jumping up and down screaming “YO! YO! YO!” while some assholes go wocka wocka wocka on their guitars. This is an important service to America’s airwaves. I’m sure Fincher probaly did it for selfish reasons – no way he could’ve finished BENJAMIN BUTTON if he had to worry about a new Limp Biscuit song playing on the radio – but to my mind he is still a hero. (more…)

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Lords of the Street

Friday, September 19th, 2008

Take a look at that cover there. If you know me then you know I had to watch that movie.

I’m not stupid. I knew it would be, uh… problematic. “Probaly unwatchable” is I believe how I pre-described it to friends. But I figured as long as it stars the team of DMX and Kris Kristofferson I’m gonna get something out of it.

True, DMX has failed to deliver on the promise I thought I saw in him when I first saw BELLY. He seems to have pretty much lost his mind (up in here, up in here) and is not above making cameos in unwatchable DTV garbage in order to pay the legal bills for his poor driving, impersonating of federal officers and lack of dog feeding. So DMX alone is not a selling point.

But teamed with Kris Kristofferson? Blade’s mentor? FIRE DOWN BELOW’s villain? Mohammed Ali’s white cohort in the TV movie FREEDOM ROAD? Guy who should play me in a movie if Nick Nolte is not available? Could the creators of the albums ‘The Silver Tongued Devil and I’ and ‘It’s Dark And Hell Is Hot’ really be standing side by side, weilding their guns in a fortress of flames and sparks?

That is a hell of an odd couple there. Those two names above the title sold me. They didn’t even need to bother with that terrible photoshopping, they already had me. (more…)

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Ricochet

Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008

I think I saw this movie back when it came out and I remember it just being ridiculous, but seeing it again I thought it was a good ridiculous. The movie begins with a melodramatic Hitchcock style credit sequence, but then cuts straight to Denzel Washington, Ice-T and Kevin Pollack playing very aggressive basketball on a playground. As far as I know this one is one of only a handful of movies in all of cinematic history that begin with those three guys playing street ball.

I like this scene because it very quickly sets up most of the major players in the movie while also establishing just why the movie is cool. For one thing, the director is Russell RAZORBACK Mulcahy, video director turned movie director who is fond of fancy hotshot camerawork. But this is 1991, still firmly in the naive days when a director followed a code of honor that they were expected to provide visual clues to the audience to understand what the fuck is going on. For some of you younger individuals it’s probaly hard to imagine, but the camera is flying around in such a way that it enhances your enjoyment of the movie, instead of pissing you off. This starts in the basketball scene with the camera somehow following right behind Denzel as he weaves through the other players and slam dunks.

In this one scene we learn that Denzel is a cop and law school student, Pollack is his partner, Ice-T is a childhood friend who he is distancing himself from because he’s a criminal, and Victoria Dillard is a girl Denzel has his eye on (who will become his wife). More importantly though what this scene establishes is that this is young, arrogant, show-offy, charming Denzel. It’s after MO’ BETTER BLUES but before MALCOLM X, so he’s got the chops but not the expectations. And he’s applying that talent to a character in an over-the-top b-movie thriller. His character is named Nick Styles, if that gives you an idea. (more…)

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Today You Die

Wednesday, October 19th, 2005

It goes without saying that TODAY YOU DIE is Steven Seagal’s greatest movie title since at least OUT FOR A KILL. So I won’t bother to say it. Isn’t it awesome though? The movie itself is worth the time of any Seagalogist, but at least on my first viewing here it’s not one of the more crucial ones. It’s more competent than most straight to video movies (especially Seagal’s, lately) but not legitimately great. So, without anything really special or truly ludicrous, it ends up kind of forgettable. But it has its moments.

SUBMERGED flirted with being Seagal’s first monster movie (they cut out the CGI mutants before finishing the movie) and this one threatens to be a rare supernatural storyline. I won’t say his first because he did have some voodoo and shaolin magic in BELLY OF THE BEAST. There were also voodoo curses used by the villains in MARKED FOR DEATH, but it came off more like some cold mafia threat type shit than actual working magic. Anyway the opening scene here is a tarot card reading. I expected the card reader to say “Today you die,” but no dice. In fact, she had a surprisingly honest explanation of the DEATH card, which she said can mean different things. You gotta admire a straight shooting tarot card reader.

Then we get some nightmares. Seagal’s young, beautiful girlfriend and/or wife Jada is some kind of psychic who’s having dreams of him holding a gun and having some kind of vague trouble. He consoles her and offers to do some dream interpretation later. (Unfortunately we never get to see this.)

It turns out Jada’s worries aren’t that farfetched because Seagal is a professional Robin Hood. He rapels into a drug dealer’s mansion and cracks the safe. When some hoods try to interfere, he explains that he gives the money to the poor. Of course this is followed by some broken wrists, some broken furniture, etc. And it will surprise nobody that this is one of those drug dealer mansions decorated with many antique Japanese swords, which end up being used. That’s why you’re supposed to lock up your swords, dope dealers. Come on. (more…)

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Love and a Bullet

Monday, September 30th, 2002

Boys -

Did you notice how Mel Gibson’s Jesus movie was really controversial in the talkbacks until you mentioned Superman? Man I don’t think I’ve ever seen the newsies so worked up. I think in about 20 years when this generation of “geeks” is in power we will see comic book fundamentalists controlling governments around the world the way religious fundamentalists do today. Trying to force their Superfriends morals on everybody else. Some nutty congressman from the Utility Belt will get them to hang up the X-Men letters page in schools and courthouses. It’ll be an interesting time.

But until then this is what I got for you boys, a review of LOVE AND A BULLET starring some rapper named Treach, due to be released on video December 3rd. I happened to watch this during my usual patrol of straight-to-video screeners thinking it would be more garbage. Apparently it has played in theaters somewhere, but how was I supposed to know? I never heard of it. Anyway, the reason I wanted to review it is because it’s SURPRISINGLY UN-BAD.

Now I’m not gonna claim it’s great, because it’s not. In fact it’s yet another self consciously hip hitman-comedy and I guarantee it will annoy the shit out of many of you. But I was surprised to find myself laughing with alot of the jokes and ultimately enjoying the thing. It’s loaded with cliches but it mixes them around in ways you don’t always expect and sometimes it surprises you. Having watched other straight-to-video-urban-action-thrillers such as EASTSIDAZ and URBAN MENACE and WAR STORIES I think it is important for those of us who watch that kind of crap to praise those who are able to work in this genre and rise one or two millimeters above mediocrity. Even in the worst parts, you at least can tell they’re TRYING, and sadly you don’t see that every day. Good job boys. (more…)

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