Kid, you look different since Part 2. Did you lose weight or something?

Okay, I’m not saying it’s very good, but I gotta admit, HOUSE PARTY 3 wasn’t as bad as I expected. Actually I was kinda impressed that each installment covers a different part of Kid’s life. Part 1 he’s (improbably) in high school maintaining friendships, bonding with his dad, starting his first serious relationship. Part 2 he’s going to college, learning about his heritage, facing challenges in keeping his girlfriend, dealing with loss. Now, for part 3, he says goodbye to childish things. He’s lost the fade and is thinking about cutting his hair altogether. He must decide how much he believes in his future as a rapper, accept that his parts 1-2 girlfriend Sidney wasn’t who he was meant to be with, and trust that his woman Veda (Angela Means) loves him even when she’s around naked dudes. All this because he’s about to get married. In HOUSE PARTY 3, Kid becomes Man.

So, the hair isn’t sticking up like that anymore. Is that gonna be a problem? He cut it during CLASS ACT, so obviously it’s gone now. The dreadlocks are longer than in that movie, as if he still has the hair but just maintains it different. But I notice he wears alot of headbands that seem to hold the dreads up like he’s trying to subconsciously remind you of the shape that used to be up there. Remember, America? The fun times we had with that fade?

With the wedding coming up the extended family is in town. Kid I think lives with his Aunt Lucy (Ketty Lester), whose late stage dementia is played for laughs. His Uncle Vester (Bernie Mac, WHO’S THE MAN?) comes to stay with them, and also his dipshit cousins, novelty rap trio “Immature,” credited as playing themselves. It’s that old joke where the kids are supposed to be hilarious and cool because they act like adults in a music video, all dressed up and using slang, committing fraud and sexually harassing adult women, who turn them down but smile as if tempted. The thing is, with their silly oversized clothing, novelty hats, dangly beaded dreadlocks and non-prescription glasses (one kid has his rap name painted over the lenses, so he has to keep them low on his nose like bifocals) the adults they’re trying to dress up as also look like complete jackasses. And not just because these styles are dated – P.M. Dawn were already the butt of jokes when they were brand new.

In the tradition of Part 2 there’s a questionable check transfer (the brats get a check from the airport because they somehow put their luggage in the bushes and say it was lost, then they give the check to Chris Tucker to pay for a stripper). And Play gets himself and Kid in trouble by defrauding a gangsterish music producer named Showboat (Michael Colyar) to pay for Kid’s bachelor party. Other than reserving some tuxes it seems like there’s no worry about preparations for the wedding itself, just the bachelor and bachelorette parties, paying for the catering and strippers and what not, all of which gets shanghaied by the little kids for their house party. See, you set a bad example for the younger generation, using trickery to fund your party, they follow your example. It takes a village, you know.

Part 3 continues the tradition of plucking talent from the Comedy Act Theater. Colyar is a comedian, and obviously Mac. Eddie Griffin has a scene as a friend at the bachelor party, Chris Tucker has a scene as “Johnny Booze,” provider of strippers. He says “Same time, man, I don’t know you!” just like in MONEY TALKS (was that supposed to be a HOUSE PARTY 3 reference?)

Martin Lawrence I guess was too big with his sitcom to come back as Bilal, but his TV co-star Tisha Campbell has a “special appearance” as Sidney, back in town to make Kid and his fiancee uncomfortable. Actually she’s used well, having her gone for most of the movie brings some weight to her two scenes, like Dolph in UNIVERSAL SOLDIER: REGENERATION.

TLC have a couple of scenes as a hot unsigned group called Sex As a Weapon. They deliver all their lines in goofy voices that must be some kind of inside joke, I guess. Then they do a song with Kid ‘n Play at the end.

The addition of Uncle Vester was a smart move for filling the hole left by the death of Robin Harris. Bernie Mac was a fan and colleague of Harris and as discussed before he was obviously influenced by his style of comedy. So here’s Mac playing Pop’s brother – he looks at a photo of him and keeps looking up and talking to him, to make sure you understand that. And he fills a similar role to Pops in the movie – lots of improvised jokes, lots of insults, with occasional mild sweetness when he tries to give Kid advice (”Boy, just be yourself. If people don’t like you when you’re being yourself, FUCK EM!”) or supports him when the in-laws are being snobs. He plays it much crazier than Harris did, though, so it’s not just imitating the same character. I noticed one little homage where he refers to a cop as “officer of the GOTdamn law,” as Harris used to do in his standup (and probly in part 1, I can’t remember for sure, it’s been days since I’ve seen it).

By the way, how are Veda’s parents gonna turn their noses up to Kid when the mom is played by an actress named “Simply Marvalous”?

Part 2 had two directors, part 3 only has one so to make up for it they have three simultaneous parties: the actual house party put on by Immature, the bachelorette party put on by cousin Janelle (Khandi Alexander), and the bachelor party (technically a hotel party, not a house party), all taking place simultaneous. Sorry, no pajamas.

Kid’s wimpy way of dealing with problems gets kind of tiresome in this one. It’s kind of a Will Smithian approach to comedy that makes it less movie and more sitcom. For example when the nephews say “What happened to the big booty girl you used to get with?” and embarrass him in front of his fiancee, instead of shutting them up he says, “Oh, look at the time!” like his friends and loved ones are bunch of dummies that can be distracted into forgetting the things that their ears hear.

There are some legitimately funny parts though, in my opinion. I don’t know why but I thought that the male stripper being named “Nightheat” was pretty funny. (Ice-T’s name in WHO’S THE MAN? was Nighttrain. I wonder if they’re related?) And my favorite part is when Showboat comes over to threaten Kid ‘n Play but sees Nightheat in action, gets jealous and joins him in stripping for the ladies.

Also there’s a touching scene where Sidney sincerely wishes the best to Veda in her marriage, and Veda says she misjudged her, she’s actually really nice. And her cousin says, “And her booty’s not that big.”

It was 1994. The times were a’changin. In hip hop it was the year of Nas’ Illmatic, Notorious B.I.G.’s Ready to Die, and Method Man’s Tical. HOUSE PARTY 3’s soundtrack, which was less successful than the other two, mostly kept it light, with six Kid ‘n Play tracks, one by Immature, and several R&B tunes. But track #4 (the end credits song on the actual movie) is the rambunctious M.O.P. shouting “How About Some Hardcore.”

I bet he lost that eye in a Lego accident.

In the movie there’s a part where Play says the phrase “Ain’t nothin but a G thing, baby,” so he knows about the Chronic. And yet at the bachelor party they’re playing fucking “Whoot! There It Is.” Notice I didn’t say “Whoomp! (There It Is),” that’s the popular song. This is the one that actually came out earlier by a different group, but is basically the same song. I’m not clear how or why, but if I remember right “Whoomp” was chosen as the one to stick around when they had a competition on the Arsenio Hall Show. I guess you could argue that Kid ‘n Play are edgy for playing the earlier, lesser known version, but still. Over at the Immature party they’re playing “Fuck Wit Dre Day (And Everybody’s Celebratin)” from The Chronic. It’s clear that Kid ‘n Play are the old men now, they can’t throw a party like the little boys can. In fact, when they come home instead of being angry that his cousins lied to him, switched his porno with a Ninja Turtles movie, stole his strippers and chicken wings and trashed his house, Kid just joins the party and says, “I can’t believe those little hardheads can throw a hyper party than me and Play!”

So where have we gone in this trilogy? From first love to marriage, from sneaking out to responsibility, from highest-top fade to dreadlocks, from 2 hype to not 2 hype in my opinion. The spirit of the deceased father still looms over as parties have been thrown in various types of buildings both public and private. Full Force have apparently moved out of the neighborhood or retired from bullying. Play has learned almost nothing, he’s still a womanizing asshole who pretends he’s gonna give women jobs in the music industry in order to bang them. I thought they were gonna have him realize the error of his ways and hook up with Janelle at the end, but no such luck. Also he gets Kid in all kinds of unnecessary trouble with his various schemes, and it seems like nobody in their right mind would ever want to hang out with him. But he tries to be a good friend, I think.

I wonder what happened to George Clinton’s DJ character? Or annoyed neighbor John Witherspoon? And who did take the shit that broke the toilet, did they ever find that out? What if Full Force came back and apologized to Kid, helped defend him from Showboat like the Korean guy in BEST OF THE BEST 2 that was the bad guy in part 1? That would be cool. There are a few loose ends I guess, but I doubt they’ll be resolved in part 4, which wasn’t made to play in theaters and stars Immature instead of Kid ‘n Play.

So the torch has been passed. Kid ‘n Play no longer have the responsibility of throwing good house parties. They just have to make house payments.

HOUSE PARTY 3 was was the first film appearance of Chris Tucker, and the first major role for Bernie Mac. Both went on to become superstars. Writer Takashi Bufford went on to write SET IT OFF, BOOTY CALL and THE TIGER WOODS STORY tv movie. Director Eric Meza never did another movie, but he did Ice Cube's "Dead Homiez" video. According to IMDb, Simply Marvalous has a son named Skyler.

Dr. Dre – title abbreviated, name spelled with an ‘e’, not an ‘é’ – is the famous producer/rapper, the genius behind NWA, discoverer of Snoop and Eminem, headphone consultant, Dr. Pepper advocate. He still produces, is still highly respected despite unleashing 50 Cent, appears on commercials all the time but somehow still has a mystique about him. He recently released a song from the album he’s been working on for ten years, so he’s on the cover of magazines and people are really believing it’ll come out in February. And plan to buy it. Most rap careers don’t last as long as just the time people have been anticipating this one album by Dre.

Meanwhile Doctor Dré – title spelled out in full, name spelled with a little wavy thing above the ‘e’ – you could definitely make a strong argument that motherfuckers weren’t acting, they sincerely had forgotten about that particular Dré. Best known as the rotund partner to Ed Lover (UNDISPUTED) when they co-hosted the weekday edition of Yo! MTV Raps for several years, he was also in the group Original Concept and was an early DJ for the Beastie Boys. Since he’d been Doctor Dré before or at the same time as Dr. Dre they both stubbornly held onto their names, but unfortunately for Dré he lost the battle for who could become best known (unlike Common, who dropped the “Sense” from his name but is still better known than the other guy under either name).

(You know what man, why can’t they compromise, like p.t. anderson and Paul W.S. Anderson, who both changed their names in order to avoid another George Miller/George Miller situation? That would be the honorable thing to do in my opinion.)

Please note HOUSE PARTY style yellow background

Well, there’s no Yo! MTV Raps anymore, and in fact all rapping is done by computers now, and the Original Concept CD sells for $85 new so I can’t find out if it’s any good, and DJ Hurricane and Mixmaster Mike have both become much better known as DJs for the Beastie Boys. But Dré still has one thing left: he has WHO’S THE MAN? on DVD. He and Ed Lover co-star and co-wrote it.

WHO’S THE MAN? is a comedy where Dré and Lover play “the worst barbers in Harlem,” who accidentally become inept cops and then have to figure out who killed their friend and mentor, Nick (Jim Moody, the dad in THE LAST DRAGON). I talked about how Kid ‘n Play have opposite personalities so they can work like a comedy team. Ed and Dré just have opposite sizes, but that’s enough. Fat guy/skinny guy = comedy team. Roger Ebert actually liked the movie and wrote, “there’s a good ear for dialogue, a nice comic rhythm, and performances by Lover and Dre which could quite possibly make them into a movie comedy team. The film seems ripe for sequels…My notion is that Who’s the Man? could turn out to be a star-maker.”

Well, I’m glad he liked it at the time. I bet he doesn’t remember it, though. The serious mystery part of the story is obvious and weak, and some of the comedy is worse (like the two scenes where they have trouble communicating with the Asian forensics expert Fuji). But the cinematography and what not is surprisingly slick. It creates this realistic atmosphere that clashes with the cartoonishness of the story and characters. It looks better than a dumb comedy like this is supposed to, and that kind of tricked me, I kept wondering if it was gonna actually be good.

The story is your typical greedy-developers-threatening-idealistic-guy-to-make-him-sell-his-property type deal. Nick won’t sell the barbershop because he once cut Adam Clayton Powell’s hair there and he’s not about to leave the neighborhood to the crack dealers, even if they’re played by KRS-1 and Ice-T. I think it deserves a little leeway for taking place in Harlem, because the gentrification theme seems more vital there than pretty much anywhere else it could be filmed. But the way it’s written it still feels really generic and lazy. It might as well be about Mr. T trying to raise money to stop the community center from being shut down.

And it’s kind of weird that it’s all based around this premise of “what if these two dipshits accidentally became cops?”, because other than some donut jokes and a joke about putting hydraulics on a squad car they don’t really do much with it. They don’t learn any detective skills from the job, and they’re not actually supposed to be on this case, and they never arrest or shoot anyone, and they don’t even get to use the police car for long, and then they stop being cops before the movie’s even over. So I wonder why they weren’t just barbers going out for justice? They just would’ve needed a different explanation of how they got a soil sample tested.

I think their personas aren’t really too thought out either. They’re so terrible at cutting hair that everybody calls them “dickfingers” and says stuff like “I wouldn’t let those two brothers cut my taxes” and “I wouldn’t let them cut my grass.” They wear matching pajamas and watch The Beverly Hillbillies together and Dré is terrified of rats and Ed is always getting slapped by women for lying about sleeping with them and he might be a virgin and when they try to become club promoters their entire Naughty By Nature concert (audience and everyone) gets robbed at gunpoint. Then there’s kind of a serious story as they work on this mystery and they gotta do Serious Face alot. But it’s hard to take them seriously when they’ve been established as such buffoons.

Dennis Leary plays a sergeant who hates them and yells at Doctor Dré alot. It’s not as funny as I think it’s supposed to be, but I like the idea that it infuriates him to see a dude calling himself “Doctor” when his brother had to save up his money, go to school and work really hard for years to earn that title.

By this point Kid ‘n Play were mainly actors. Their last album was in ‘91. WHO’S THE MAN? actually had a part in ending the Kid ‘n Play era of pop rap: the first cut on the soundtrack is “Party and Bullshit,” the first song released by the Notorious B.I.G.

This was the feature directing debut of Ted Demme, nephew of Jonathan, who went on to direct THE REF and BLOW and some other stuff before dying tragically young in 2002. He had been a production assistant at MTV before actually creating YO! MTV RAPS, so it’s very fitting that he made the movie that came out of that show. And it looks like he called in a phonebook’s worth of favors on this motherfucker. You got some real actors in there (Terence Howard and Eamonn Walker, the villain from BLOOD AND BONE, are both in it) but most of the cast, including bit parts, is played by famous rappers, comedians and MTV personalities. Leary was a close friend and collaborator of Demme, in fact Demme directed the black and white MTV shorts that made Leary famous. There’s also Colin Quinn, Bernie Mac (HOUSE PARTY 3) and Bill Bellamy. Some of those guys were on MTV shows also, as were T-Money (”the mailman” on Yo! MTV Raps), Kurt Loder (who has a bit part as a hitman, and looks surprisingly right in the part), Fab 5 Freddy (credited as “himself”, even though in the movie he’s a taxi driving pimp), Karen Duffy (aka Duff) and Ken Ober, the host of their game show Remote Control. The rappers who appear in the movie include Salt n Pepa, Ice-T, Apache, Smooth B, KRS-One, Phife from A Tribe Called Quest, Guru, Kid Capri, Kriss Kross, Naughty By Nature, Pete Rock and CL Smooth, Eric B, Flavor Flav, B-Real, Everlast, Melle Mel, D-Nice, Busta Rhymes and the Leaders of the New School, Del, Bushwick Bill, Monie Love, Freddie Foxxx, Run DMC and Jam Master Jay (as homicide detectives), Yo-Yo, Humpty Hump, Heavy D, B-Fine, Showbiz and AG, King Sun, Nikki D, No Face, Kool G Rap, Queen Latifah (HOUSE PARTY 2), Bow-legged Lou (HOUSE PARTY, HOUSE PARTY 2), DJ Wiz (HOUSE PARTY 2, CLASS ACT, producer of Kid ‘n Play)… in fact, just about the only people who weren’t in this movie were–

–wait a minute. Kid ‘n Play aren’t in this movie at all! What the fuck am I doing? Please disregard this review.

But despite all this his movie career is only a level or two above David Spade’s. His heart is in the right place but he ends up making corny shit like CB4. When he tries for more credibility he instead ends up in a god damn Kevin Smith movie. I guess NURSE BETTY was okay but still, the guy is obviously capable of so much more.

Well maybe HEAD OF STATE is the first baby step toward living up to his potential, I don’t know. This one he directed and co-wrote in addition to starring. He plays a Washington DC alderman who saves an old lady and her cat from an exploding building so he ends up running for president (long story). Because he’s a black dude he starts advertising himself like a rapper and in his speeches he starts telling it like it is, Bulworth style, and saying “that ain’t right.” It’s funnier than it sounds, though.

The feel of it is like one of the better Adam Sandler movies not including PUNCH DRUNK LOVE. It all feels real cheesy, the bad guy characters are REVENGE OF THE NERDS broad, there seems to be little understanding of how presidential races and real life work, but still there is alot of real funny jokes, mostly that seem to come out of the blue. And then in between those jokes he starts scratching a record and playing “Hot in Herre” and the old white people dance and everybody laughs.

I enjoyed the movie though, there were alot of big laughs. It’s no POOTIE TANG because in that movie the plot was so light that you kind of forgot it was even there and it seemed to transcend the art of the cinematic storytelling and evolve into some higher life form that cannot really be explained, like that magic space baby at the end of 2001. In HEAD OF STATE it’s more like a Chris Farley vehicle where you almost feel like you’re supposed to care about the characters. But not quite. Like all those type of movies, there is a love story that seems like it is sincerely trying to be sweet, but you don’t fucking care about that shit. The movie is best when it’s firing off in all different directions. Like when the democrats first tell Chris they want him to run for president, there is a quick shot of him accepting the presidency and immediately being shot.

One of the highlights is Bernie Mac as Chris’s brother Mitch, who runs for vice president. Now I think the whole world has caught on by now but Bernie Mac is the greatest. He has that wild, intense look in his eyes and every time he sees Chris Rock he starts punching him in the gut because he’s little brother. Unfortunately he only really comes into the movie in the last act so you don’t quite get as much of him as you wish you did.

Keith David is also in there but only in one scene. Tracy Morgan from SNL and Crank Yankers has a small part as a guy who tries to sell stolen meat.

Now a word about Chris Tucker. Don’t worry I’m not retarded I know the difference between Chris Rock and Chris Tucker. But here’s the thing. Mr. Tucker is a very funny man who has done several great performances: the hilarious FRIDAY and MONEY TALKS, the controversial FIFTH ELEMENT and the dramatic DEAD PRESIDENTS and JACKIE BROWN. But when he teamed up with Jackie Chan for RUSH HOUR he became a superstar. Suddenly he could get $20 million for a role. But he turned down almost everything. In fact in the 5 years since RUSH HOUR he has done exactly one (1) movie: RUSH HOUR 2. I think he’s a humble dude, and he wants to do a good job. He’d rather just live a normal life than put out some fuckin Martin Lawrence style shit once a year. In fact he almost did BLACK KNIGHT but backed out when it looked like it wasn’t going to be good. Then he travelled to Africa with Bono to learn about AIDS.

But there is one movie he tried to develop during that time, and it was an epic comedy drama about becoming the first black president. He said it was going to be very thoughtful and emotional, he even had Maya Angelou helping out somehow. He was very seriously preparing the movie to the point that he actually hung out with Bill Clinton to learn about the life of a president. During the 2000 election, before it became the 2000 coup, I remember watching Larry King one night and the three guests were Jon Stewart, Chris Tucker and some republican columnist in a bow tie. Mr. Tucker talked about his experiences developing the movie and started to stray off into fictional stories, like the time Jesse Jackson took him to the White House and it looked like nobody was home, but Jesse had a key to the side door so they went in and Jesse called out in the dark, “Bill? Bill, are you home?” The republican thought Mr. Tucker was serious and was completely outraged that Clinton had given Jesse Jackson the keys to the white house. You could tell he was already composing a column about it, hoping to be the first to break this shocking new scandal in the print media.

Anyway the point is, god damn it Chris Rock, I liked the movie but why did you have to fuck over Chris Tucker like that? Don’t tell me you didn’t know. God damn it. Oh well.

[ratings]

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Well I watched it about a week too late so this review is not very timely. But since this review will still be here to read next christmas I feel this bad timing should not count against my 2005 New year’s Resolution, A Commitment To Excellence. If you disagree take it up with the magic new year baby.

Anyway what this BAD SANTA one is about is Billy Bob Thornton is a character called Willie, a self loathing alcoholic safecracker who every year gets a job as a department store Santa. His partner Marcus (Tony Cox from FRIDAY) is a dwarf who is his elf. Then after closing time on christmas eve Marcus will be disguised as a snowman decoration or something, he runs and turns the alarm off and they rob the place.

The robberies seem to go pretty easy but the tough part is in the lead up to the robbery, the actual Santa part. Having to get his picture taken with a bunch of kids on his lap. This is hard because he hates everybody (especially kids, himself, and his boss, John Ritter), he is always drunk, he has no social skills, he says fuck more than I do, he often pisses himself, etc.

Now I could imagine a movie with this premise but it pulls its punches, it tries to make the bad santa charmingly mischeivous, and then he learns his lesson at the end. This is not that movie. This is a movie with a heart, but it’s a dark, cruel, dried out heart with thorns on it. This is a character who swears at kids, goes to bars in his Santa costume, takes his beard off in front of kids, passes out while kids are waiting, etc. In one scene a kid sneezes chocolate ice cream cone onto his face and he spends the rest of the day looking like he was dragged face first through mud and doesn’t give a fuck.

This character is so mean and low that he does not have to be redeemed at the end. He just makes one small gesture of friendship, and in the context of the story, for me it is sweet and moving. His heart doesn’t have to grow 3 sizes. Because it’s a small gesture, that makes it seem more sincere. This guy really is a huge fucking asshole, so the fact that he makes one measly bit of effort is a big fuckin deal. A normal guy, you would expect to be nice to somebody. But this guy? Give him a fucking trophy he does something for somebody other than himself. Good job bad santa.

The heart of the movie is in Willie’s relationship with this fat kid, who is called “kid” for most of the movie. Not only does Willie not call him by his name, it doesn’t even occur to him that he has a name until 2/3 into the movie when he reads it on his report card, then gets confused. The kid is introduced getting off the bus with snot all over his face, pretending not to notice the bully skateboarder kids calling him a fag and pegging him in the head with cans. He comes into the mall and talks to Santa, who does not treat him any nicer than the kids did. Then for some reason he creepily follows Santa around all day.

If the wrong kid had been cast in this role, it would’ve ruined the movie. But this is the perfect kid. You look at this weirdo kid, you got no clue what he is thinking or feeling. All you know is he lives alone with his grandma, he’s obsessed with sandwiches, and he believes his dad is “having an adventure in the mountains.” There is also one mention of a talking walnut but I don’t even have a clue what that’s about. This kid is not cute or perky or sassy. He is a complete blank. It makes me laugh just thinking about him.

When Santa brings the kid home and decides to rob his house, it’s so easy that he seems almost disgusted by it. Then he moves in for a while.

The other main characters are John Ritter in his last role, the uptight mall manager who tries to be sensitive about disciplining Willie when he catches him cornholing a fat lady in the big & tall dressing room, yelling “You ain’t gonna shit right for a month!” Also Bernie Mac as an intense mall security chief. Like pretty much all of his movie roles, you don’t get to see him quite as much as you want to, but this one takes advantage of his talents in a subtle way. He doesn’t get alot of jokes but he gets to be both funny and menacing and it’s mostly in his gestures and facial expressions.

Also the older Gilmore Girl is the love interest, who seems a little too wholesome for the movie but she is interested in Willie because she has a fantasy about fucking Santa. It’s not really believable that this guy would be able to charm her. I mean if this was real, he would probaly smell like piss and bad aftershave. And he would probaly get pissed off when he’s drunk (i.e. always) and hit her or at least say some stupid shit to her and scare her off. There’s no way their relationship would work out as well as it does. But luckily this movie doesn’t try to get serious or get too deep into the love story so you can just pretend not to notice that.

There is one scene that involves three different characters getting punched in the balls, but I feel I can still say this is not that kind of comedy. This is the kind of comedy where Billy Bob gets real drunk and ends up eating all the chocolates from the kids advent calendar. But then the next day the kid cuts his hand real bad so Willie feels bad and he tapes the advent calendar back together, but all he can find to put inside it is candy corn and aspirin. Also there’s a real funny scene where Billy Bob almost suffocates himself in the garage but decides not to. Merry Christmas, America.

The movie is directed by Terry Zwigoff (CRUMB, GHOST WORLD). The script is by just some dudes but they based it on a story by the Coen brothers, whose humor comes through in some of the narration and what not. This is a movie that is not for everybody, or most people. Alot of people will think it’s too dark, too mean, too repetitive in its constant abuse of human decency, common courtesy and civil discourse. To me though it’s funny as hell. It’s like the funny Christmas version of BAD LIEUTENANT.

[ratings]

Just kidding bud the truth is these guys aren’t bad. I never even heard of the motherfuckers but apparently that’s what all the white people say. Sorry boys. They are popular enough to fill up a god damn stadium in Charlotte, North Carolina so they must be pretty popular there, in my opinion. Unless they just let everybody in for free but I don’t think they did.

Apparently a couple of these motherfuckers have shows on pbs or one of those type of stations that nobody watches. One is called the steve harvey show, the other is called d.l. Hughley presents The Hughleys. Now one thing I wanna know, if these motherfuckers are so funny why they can’t come up with a real name for a show. No, it’s gotta be The Steve Harvey Show. The Hughleys. The Wayans Brothers. The Jamie Foxx show. Martin. the Drew Carey Show. Seinfeld. Ellen. Roseanne. The Cosby Show. Norm. Titus. The Jeff Foxworthy Show.

I mean whatever happened to Mama’s Family, or Leave It to Beaver. Even the fucking Jeffersons. At least they didn’t call it the Sherman Helmsley Show. JESUS YOU PEOPLE, COME UP WITH A FUCKING TITLE. No more of this generic working title bullshit. Come on people.

Anyway this was a big comedy tour, Steve Harvey is the host which is kind of unfair, the dude gets to go three times, everybody else only gets to go once. I thought the best of these acts was Cedric the Entertainer. This is a big hefty dude wearing a fancy grey suit with the sleeves cut off. Not sure WHAT is up with that maybe that’s the style now, there’s no telling what some individuals will decide looks good. Anyway despite his size his act is very physical and it is surprising what the dude can do sometimes. He starts doing karate kicks or dancing for some of his jokes. He is good at miming shit, like pretending he’s eating sunflower seeds and then spitting em out or showing different ways people smoke a cigarette. He’s a funny dude and I gotta give him extra points for the name Cedric the Entertainer. It’s quick and to the point and self-explanatory not like some of these rapper names like method man, the fresh prince etc.

Last up is Bernie Mac and I have read some of the reviews. Apparently he makes the white man uncomfortable. they all say he goes too far, I’m not sure why. he does joke about beating up little kids. But they’re probaly more bothered by his big speech about all the different meanings of motherfucker. I like that one. This guy has a voice like Rodney Dangerfield, I can’t understand what the dude’s saying some of the time but he also has crazy eyes like Chris Tucker.

This movie is a pretty good time at the movies cause it’s pretty funny. But I don’t think it’s among the great concert movies. For one thing it’s fuzzy. I think spike lee did it on video and then tried to spruce it up a little or some shit like that. It looks ugly. There are also many techniques that take you out of the event. For example Cedric the Entertainer imitates the slow mo from the matrix, and instead of letting us see how he does it spike puts in a video blurring effect. Look bud I’m not retarded I know cedric didn’t do THAT live. But I’d like to see what he did do seeing as how this is a LIVE CONCERT MOVIE.

There is also some backstage bits mixed in and they’re kind of interesting but I think they take you out of the event of sitting in that theater watching the comedians. they take away the real time feel.

On the other hand there are a little more shots of the audience than you usually get and I liked that. Whenever they play music there are these ladies who jump up and start dancing. there is one dude in the front row named Boogie who Steve Harvey fucks with. also sometimes there will be a camera with a microphone right on some particular row and you hear that person laughing at the jokes and what not. or not laughing.

Anyway not bad but what we need is a new groundbreaking comedian. steve harvey looks a little like Richard Pryor with that mustache and everything, but that’s not enough. let’s get to work ladies let’s have some babies that are gonna grow up into a new kind of comedian. thanks.

[ratings]

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