Posts Tagged ‘Alex de la Iglesia’

Crimen Ferpecto

Tuesday, June 14th, 2005

Boys ?

Remember me, your friend Vern with one last review from SIFF, which is what I call the Seattle International Film Festival for short. That is the festival we have over here, in Seattle.

I didn?t see too many this year but the one I couldn?t miss was FERPECT CRIME because it was by Alex de la Iglesia. I went in knowing nothing about the plot or even the correct title. The schedule and tickets called it EL CRIMEN PERFECTO (THE PERFECT CRIME) which adds an extra THE and corrects a purposely incorrect spelling. So let that be a lesson to those who enjoy giving pointless and unsolicited advice about spelling to us artistical types.

I don?t get a chance too often to see a movie knowing nothing about it, and when I do it?s fun. So I recommend you stop reading this garbage I?m about to write, also stop reading this web sight, and the internet in general, as well as books and publications. Just go out there, start picking shit out at random and watch. Maybe even have somebody lead you in there blindfolded, that might be good. Go in fresh.

That?s my advice but if you are one of those hardsell motherfuckers that needs a case to be made, read on and have everything given away. This movie is (SPOILER) directed by Alex de la Iglesia. Just testing, that was not an actual spoiler. He kills a guy later, that?s an actual spoiler. (more…)

Unlike

Tags:
Posted in Comedy/Laffs, Reviews, Thriller | No Comments »

800 Bullets

Saturday, June 14th, 2003

Howdy fellas.

Hey man, just finished watching this roughcut of ALIEN VS. FREDDY that I downloaded. Man that movie sucked they even had timecode in the corner. Don’t worry though I won’t be filesharing it, people should be willing to pay to see movies. So I’m just gonna sell burns of it on e-bay.

Ha ha very funny anyway boys I just saw Alex de la Iglesia’s 800 BALAS (800 BULLETS to us) at the Cinerama. I’ve been waiting for this sucker for a while because I really enjoyed DAY OF THE BEAST and DYING OF LAUGHTER and I kind of liked PERDITA DURANGO too. Javier Bardem was such a nightmare in that movie, sporting a horrendous schlong, killing chickens and deciding one day hey, let’s go eat some white people. I was kind of surprised when he turned out to be a sex symbol. Same thing with Benicio del Toro. The ladies love him and the first shot in FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS is him pouring beer on his fat belly.

Anyway I gotta say 800 BULLETS wasn’t really what I was expecting. After the insanity and excess of Mr. de la Iglesia’s previous pictures, the title 800 BULLETS conjured up an over the top bloodbath. But the feel of it is more like a kid’s movie (but one that includes some naked prostitutes and revenge killings). They will have to tone it down a little when they play it on Nickelodeon I guess. (more…)

3 people like this post.
Unlike

Tags:
Posted in Comedy/Laffs, Reviews | 3 Comments »

I have seen the future of Badass pictures

Monday, May 22nd, 2000

Last week I wrote about Ridley Scott and about how that fucker isn’t really all that hot especially in the case of his new one Alligator. And some of you may have been wondering, “Okay then, Vern, WHO is a director to look out for? Who can we count on to take the place of Ridley Scott if he’s never going to make a good movie again, the fucker?”

I mean I’m surprised none of you e-mailed me with that question, but then again I’m pretty sure nobody reads my column anyway. Assholes.

Well anyway if you had asked, I would’ve said, “I’m glad you asked.” Because the answer my friend is blowing in the wind, the answer is Alex de Iglasias, an individual out of the country of Spain over there in Europe. Some of my European readers from Jockey Slut magazine probaly know about Spain. Same continent I believe.

Well De Iglasias hasn’t proven himself 100% yet but hell, I’m gonna vouch for him anyway on the strength of his picture Day of the Beast. This man shows a strong sense of style, a nice dark sense of humor and originality as well as the outlaw spirit to break through genres and conventions and what not. You may not have heard of this man because for some reason the nerds of the internet have not really seemed to catch on to him yet. But believe me they will the same way they did peter jackson before he ever got involved with hobbit movies.

Day of the Beast is a horror comedy and it kind of reminds me of Brain Dead/ Dead Alive tonally wise, however it is not a gorey picture and instead of relying only on really bitchin special effects, it instead has good characters, story and jokes. Which is why as far as I’m concerned it is a way better picture in my opinion.

The story is about a priest in Madrid who decodes an ancient biblical type prophecy saying that the antichrist will be born in two days. He knows that the only way to stop the world from ending is to kill the antichrist, but the only way to find out where the antichrist will be born is to contact the devil. So what the fuck is he gonna do?

“I’m going to do all the evil I can,” he says. (more…)

Unlike

Tags:
Posted in Vern Tells It Like It Is | 1 Comment »