On Friday when the indictments fell down on Irve “Scooter” Libby Jr. for obstruction and perjury, the democrat line of the day was “it’s a sad day for America.” There has been a tremendous blow to the dignity of the White House, a stain not on a blue dress but on the presidency itself, etc.
I’m afraid I gotta disagree. It’s not a sad day. The sad day was when the leak happened in the first place. We all knew it happened and we all knew it happened in the context of much bigger crimes. Back then, we were happy to hear about an investigation, but did anybody believe it would lead to anything? Did anybody think it really meant anything when John Ashcroft, after noodling around for a little while, announced that he was recusing himself? Don’t you remember all the stories we read about how this was gonna be a whitewash, like so many other investigations? Did you ever believe that somebody as high up as Scooter Libby would even be criticized in the media, let alone indicted?
How many people do you know who think Bush should be impeached, but that it’s not worth even trying since republicans control both houses and would never go after a president from their own party? I don’t think I’m the only one who doesn’t expect any of these bastards to ever be held accountable for their actions. That’s why Friday was a happy day for me. This represents a tiny smidgeon of faith in accountability. A little pinprick of light at the end of the tunnel.
Of course, I still cancelled my plans for an Indictment Day cake, patriotic fireworks dislay, champagne toast and Ewok style celebration. ‘Cause all those leaks got my hopes up too high – I thought Rove was going down and now it’s not clear if that will happen. The only thing that’s more of a bummer than Karl Rove going on as usual is the realization that Dr. Thompson isn’t here to write about this whole mess. I bet he would’ve written a good one. (read the rest of this shit…)
October 30th, 2005 | No Comments »
This movie surprised me. Everything about it is classier than I expected. From his reputation you’d think this Candyman guy is just a B-list Jason or Freddy type. But it turns out he’s more a classic movie monster like Dracula or the Phantom of the Opera. And his movie has more subtext than all of Freddy and Jason’s pictures put together, including JASON X. Hell, throw in a couple Child’s Plays too. And one or two Halloweens. And one Silent Night Deadly Night. No Texas Chainsaws though, that would tip the scale. (read the rest of this shit…)
October 30th, 2005 | 5 Comments »
In my continuing search for straight to video gems, I have discovered INFESTED: THE INVASION OF THE KILLER BUGS, written and directed by the guy who wrote A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE. Also over on The Ain’t It Cool News I reviewed A LEGEND OF ZORRO and somehow the talkback turned into an obnoxious political debate. Sorry about that.
October 27th, 2005 | No Comments »
Well as you know I am always searching for straight to video movies that don’t suck. And even I sometimes forget why that is my mission, so let me put it down in writing here as a reminder. See, in the old days you had b-movies, you had exploitation movies, etc. And the idea of these movies was low budget, lowbrow, easy investment quickie moneymaker. Like squeezing out sausages. And there was alot of disposable garbage made, because that was the whole point. But within that world there were people like Roger Corman, William Castle, Jack Hill etc. who sometimes made movies that transcended just being a product, movies that some people still watch and hold dear today. Lots of directors like John Sayles, John Demme and maybe one or two other guys got their start working on cheapo Roger Corman movies about women in prison or giant alligators. Also unfortunately Ron Howard but that doesn’t count. And people like George Romero and Sam Raimi started with low budget independent movies made for the drive-ins, movies that nobody would expect to still be considered great all these years later.
So my theory is, there has got to be SOMEBODY out there with an imagination that somehow ends up making a straight to video movie. So maybe they get hired just to shoot some tits and pretend it’s a sequel to Cruel Intentions or Wild Things so they can make a profit on pre-orders to Blockbuster and nobody will have to actually watch it. But they decide they’re still gonna put their personal stamp on it and somehow they make it great. Or they have a unique vision but they don’t have their foot in the door yet so what they manage to do is make a no budget movie that at least gets released on video. You know that’s GOT to happen, but you don’t see it very much. But I’m looking for it.
Well the latest lead I got is this guy Josh Olson who wrote David Cronenberg’s A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE, one of the best movies I’ve seen this year. But it turns out before he got that script to Cronenberg, all he had done was straight to video movies starring Eric Roberts and Casper Van Dien! He claims they’re terrible, but who knows, this could be my guy. The jury is still out. (read the rest of this shit…)
October 27th, 2005 | No Comments »
Legend of Zorro is an old fashioned cornball type of movie, just like the first one. It’s all about sword fights and horse chases and the need for California statehood. You got your swashbuckling, your derring-do, your flips, etc. Zorro is the type of guy who will add a flip into any plan whether it’s needed or not. In the opening scene he is chasing an ugly bad guy with wooden teeth, and at one point he does a flip that is actually counter-productive, it causes him to lag behind. But he still catches up. He’s fuckin Zorro, man, what did you think was gonna happen?
This time around Zorro is in a John McClane circa DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE stage of his life. He’s drunk, his wife left him, and he got suspended. Actually I made that last part up, I don’t think you can get suspended from being Zorro. But the point is everything’s not strawberries and cream after part 1. You still got some underdog there even after the big happy ending each and every one of us remember so well from 10 years ago or however long it’s been.
Also his happy ending baby is now a grown child so he has to juggle masked heroism with regular fatherhood type business. He’s in almost a Jet Li in MY FATHER IS A HERO situation where his son idolizes Zorro but thinks his dad is a pansy nobleman who goes away too much and doesn’t have the balls to fight for what’s right, which in this place and time is California statehood. Seriously, everybody is really excited about it.
Another thing that sucks for Zorro, his horse is still kind of a dick. Or at least they don’t get along very well. The horse is always fuckin around, drinking beer and burping and stuff. Trying to get cheap laughs. But he takes directions well and he doesn’t mind Zorro jumping onto him from high elevations and I guess it’s hard to replace a horse like that. (read the rest of this shit…)
October 27th, 2005 | No Comments »
Is anybody else thinking about making a “Happy Indictments” cake? Ah man, this could be an exciting week. Ewoks, take your places. Anyway, while we’re waiting, here’s another review in the oscar bait series: CAPOTE.
October 26th, 2005 | No Comments »
In the type of acting tour de la force that everybody loves unless they’re some kind of a dick, Philip Seymour Hoffman plays Truman Capote, the famous writer and weirdo. Although the use of only his last name as the movie’s title seems to imply that it will tell the entire story of his life and maybe even the entire story of the life of everybody with the last name Capote, this is actually not a full on biography. The story is narrowed down to the 4 or 5 years when he was working on his famous book IN COLD BLOOD, starring Robert Blake.
The movie starts out with a young girl discovering the dead bodies of a family murdered in a farmhouse. And before you know it Capote and his research assistant Harper Lee (author of the book TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD, starring Gregory Peck) are nosing around asking everybody questions. So at first I thought this was gonna be kind of a LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN thing with famous authors going around solving crimes. I bet the Marquis De Sade did these murders. Or Edgar Alan Poe.
Actually no, it’s the making of IN COLD BLOOD and the uncomfortable relationships and questions it brings up. At first Capote comes into this town and you think everybody’s gonna hate him. Even if he wasn’t such an eccentric sissy, he’s sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong. You can’t help but feel a little queasy when he goes to the school and tries to talk to the poor girl that found the dead bodies, like he’s her buddy. But before you know it the girl’s giving him her diaries, he’s eating dinner at the chief of police’s house, and everybody in town wants to hear his stories about Humphrey Bogart and Marilyn Monroe. It’s uncomfortable because you know Capote is just using these people to get information for his New Yorker article (which later grows into a book). (read the rest of this shit…)
October 26th, 2005 | 1 Comment »
Pssst, hey Oscars. Check out this wiggly snack I got on a hook for you. It’s called GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK by Mr. George Clooney.
October 24th, 2005 | No Comments »
For those of you out there who enjoy smart, politically relevant, historically based black and white newsroom dramas directed by charming movie stars who used to be on Roseanne, today’s your lucky day motherfucker. Mr. George Clooney is about to climb down your chimney.
GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK is the short and simple story of Edward R. Murrow getting disgusted with Senator McCarthy’s hearings and deciding to use his show to expose them. Some guy called David Straitharn is great playing Murrow, expressing pretty much everything through either facial expressions or the comments he makes on the air. The story is confined almost entirely to the newroom and the bar. It’s not a biography. The only home life is a subplot about a couple who have to hide the fact that they’re married because its not allowed in the workplace.
That actually made the movie more suspenseful for me because for some reason I was too stupid to pick up on the fact that they were hiding their marriage at work. In retrospect it is made completely clear, but I am thick. That’s lucky for me though because the whole time they kept making meaningful glances and dramatic swallows at each other, and I thought they were hiding some other secret, like they were communists or one of them used to be a communist or one of them knew a guy whose name was similar to another guy who once considered himself a communist, but only because he thought communist meant he took communion at church. If they were a good target for commie-baiters it would add more drama to the situation. Their co-workers are taking a principled stand against McCarthy, saying people deserve the right to see the evidence presented against them and that kind of thing. They might feel a little more awkward if they were protecting a real honest to god for sure communist. You know, like Ivan Drago or somebody. (read the rest of this shit…)
October 24th, 2005 | No Comments »
My video screener connection wasn’t able to hook me up on this one, so I apologize for the delay. But your patience has paid off, ’cause here’s the definitive word on Seagal’s excellently titled new one, TODAY YOU DIE.
October 19th, 2005 | No Comments »
