Walter Leno

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the accidental art of search engine keywords

Okay, let me explain what this is. When you have a web sight on geocities, as most of you know I do, you can go in and look at the statistics for your sight. That way you can find out how often people are reading, what time of day, where they linked from, what kind of browser they have and all kinds of more obscure type business. I hardly ever look at that crap because alot of it's greek to me, and besides what good does it do me as an artist, or as a person, to know that my poetry is most popular at 2 am on wednesdays?

Well today I noticed a more interesting feature. If you go into the referrers page, you can bring up a list of the keywords people typed into google or lycos or whatever when they found your sight. So I can find out the words that you guys type in when you can't remember my url, such as "poems my opinion." But most of the keywords I found in there weren't people looking for my sight, or anything like it. I found perverts, sadists, fetishists, racists, Van Damme fans, Vin Diesel fans, etc. I mean these are keywords that suggest a hundred different stories of people doing reports, researching tattoos, looking for screengrabs of R-rated nudity or celebrity's chests or dicks, or trying to buy products that they saw in Bruce Willis and Brad Pitt movies. And some are more mysterious.

So here are all of them. By reading this, you are going on a journey, eavesdropping on weirdos and perverts all around the world as they stumble across the wrong web sight (mine) and are disappointed. As you read through it you will learn about our world, about what is going on in your son's bedroom when he locks the door, about the unrealistic expectations some people have for search engines. As you keep reading, all of these frozen moments in information exchange history will begin to blur together and you'll either feel like you have become one with the world and reached a deeper understanding of human thought, or you'll just feel kind of nauseous. Which can also be a sign of enlightenment.

I could say this is a found art piece, or an accidental communal poem, created mathematically and yet at random. But that would be, as one person typed into their search engine, "pretentious bullshit." Still, I would encourage you young people to print this out and read it as a poem at open mic night. Let me know how it goes.

Reading this, out loud or not, you will laugh, you will scratch your head, and in a few cases you will want to puke. Some of you are some sick fucks out there, and I don't mean that in a good way. but thanks if you read my sight.

Here are the keywords, separated by page. I didn't list what page they were because in most cases it is self-explanatory. Read them, ponder them, paste them onto the bottom of your web sight to get more hits. I made my favorite ones bigger, but you should read them all.

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konga+movie, cop fucks trucker, guy and kid

infant terrible meaning, pretentious bullshit, the last days of disco lady and the tramp scene, picture longest weed joint, proof of the existence of real dragons in new zealand

jean of arc milla, longest yard exploding lightbulb, john atherton porn, exploding lightbulb longest yard, advertisements that talk to you, vinnie jones grabbing nuts, how many dogs screw in a lightbulb maltese, titties bouncing, burt reynolds braces, young boy kidnapped raped fucked ass

farting movies

disney cartoons fucking each other, ocean's 11 dangerfield, badass cinema, sherman helmsley gay, shit+gay+mustache+picture, rapper names, sherman helmsley + gay, what does the ending of ocean's 11 mean, roderick thorpe die hard, sherman helmsley

jodi foster's role in taxi driver, hbo documentary pimps up hoes down, world's toughest bouncer competition, darius khondji interview panic room, cartoon gorillas with lots of muscles, available porn movie acting roles in south africa, pimps up hoes down documentary film, madonna +video +director, danny bootch, orangutan funny faces tv-show

the quiet earth, 'the quiet earth'

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clockers screenplay, mekhi pfeiffer, dick cheney yoda picture, tobey maguire bodybuilder, toby maguire in boxer shorts, pictures of mekhi pfeiffer, shallow hal hawaiian, lasers digitally film buildings spiderman, tasmanian devil tattoos images, visa commercial blowjob

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ted rall bill maher, vern tell's it like it is, ralph nader cockpit doors, fbi most wanted moussai, pictures of kirsten dunst wet shirt, kirsten dunst wet t-shirt pictures spiderman, kirsten dunst wet spiderman pictures, new fast and furious mountain dew commercials, kirsten dunst spiderman wet picture, enron the fuckers

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