QUIET COOL

James Remar is a New York City cop. Not the kind in a uniform, the cool kind. We know he plays by his own rules because he wakes up in a messy apartment face down next to a pizza box with a couple of uneaten slices still left. Can you believe that? He just let two slices dry out overnight. This is a guy who just doesn't give a fuck! It's like the saying goes, "Never face an enemy who does not fear wasting pizza."

We also know he's a rugged individualist because he drives a motorcycle, movie code for "he's a rugged individualist." In the opening he sees a dude on rollerskates swipe a lady's purse and he chases him down, driving his motorcycle into a subway car, doing a wheely, using the stairs from the subway entrance as a ramp to jump over some pedestrians, finally grabbing the rollerthief, dragging him at high speed and tossing him into some water. And it's hard to swim with rollerskates on.

(By the way, I swear I saw this exact same thing happen on CHiPs one time. Were rollerpursesnatchers really a serious problem? I don't remember.)

So that was an exciting commute, but once he gets to work he has the boring part, the paperwork. But he's saved by the bell because right in the middle of that he gets a call from an old girlfriend somewhere in the Northwest who needs his help because she thinks something happened to her brother. She's right. Her brother and his wife and kid live up in the mountains near a huge marijuana farm, and the kid witnessed a violent takeover of the operation so they killed the parents and threw the kid off a cliff.

When Remar goes into the woods to investigate he discovers the kid still alive, running around like a li'l Rambo and planning a vengeful insurgency against the pot growers. He shoots a flaming arrow at their pot, resets one of their boobytraps to blow them up, and generally shows himself to be pretty useful. He's also good with a spear.

Remar of course doesn't want to be involved in any revenge, but he gets caught in the middle and pretty much has to kill them all if he wants to survive.

This is a pretty good action movie, not a great one. The quality comes mostly from the simplicity. It's not an overly complicated story, there's alot of quiet and alot of action. His urban motorcycle skills set up some high speed chases in wooded areas, there are various boobytraps and gerryrigged weapons, some explosions. But my favorite part was a funny bit of dialogue. He's walking by the laundromat and sees a sinister dude (writer/director Clay Borris) loading a bag of money into a washing machine. Just then the obviously corrupt sheriff appears to try to bully Remar. "Nice night for a stroll," he says sarcastically. "See anything interesting?"

"Not unless a guy washing a bunch of money is interesting," says Remar.

I guess my second favorite part would be when he gets pissed at a fat guy with a fancy handlebar mustache so he takes some scissor and cuts one side of the stache off. And you know how those guys are with their mustaches, it's like one of his children was murdered.

The story takes place in a backwards town called Babylon, where laundromat is spelled lawndromat. This might be an insult to rural residents of the northwest, but it's not really filmed there, it's filmed in California. So it's funny that the dad keeps listening to "California Dreaming." He thinks he's in Oregon or Washington dreaming about California but little does he know he's already there.

Since the movie is produced by New Line Cinema there's a scene where the pot growers are watching A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET. They're gambling, drinking, snorting coke and watching Freddy. That's some serious sinnin'.

Another funny touch is in a scene with the ex-girlfriend who he's trying to help, the camera pans down and gets a real good shot of a framed newspaper article that says "ENVIRONMENTAL ACTIVIST ARRESTED AT U.N." and shows a picture with her in it. It's like "a ha, this is what will make it all click, suddenly we reveal that she's an environmental activist." I'm not sure why that's supposed to be relevant.

Come to think of it, Remar's not the cop in the picture is he? That would be funny if it meant they met when he arrested her. I'm not sure what that's all about. I'm also not so sure about the title. Not only does it sound kind of dumb, but the scene that explains it doesn't really work. The kid says his dad always talked about "quiet cool," "a place, but not here, inside yourself. He always said when you find it, you've found everything you need." I don't get it.

By the way, apparently Nick Cassavetes (director of THE NOTEBOOK) and Ted White (the guy who played Jason in FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE FINAL CHAPTER) are in the movie, maybe as some of the marijuana gang guys, but I'm not sure which ones they are.

The biggest thing holding this movie back is the music. This was 1986 so there is some real abuse of the keyboard bass, drum machine and especially the saxophone. I'm not a fan of action rock. I honestly think if there was a classier, less overbearing score the movie would play way better. But oh well, it's a nice little understated movie with a part where a guy gets it with the business end of a grappling hook.


special thanks to BW for suggesting this movie

3/5/09


THE QUIET EARTH

This is an older picture from New Zealand about an individual who wakes up one day naked in bed and his radio isn't working. So he gets dressed and heads for work. And when he gets to the gas station, there is nobody there. And when he's driving around, there is no traffic. And when he goes to his friend's house, nobody there either. And jesus, he starts to realize, there's nobody at all. Anywhere. Except me.

So as you can probaly figure out, this picture follows in the literary tradition of I Am Legend, except without vampires.

Shit man, I don't know why this type of premise works so fucking well but who am I to complain. I like to be entertained and any movie about a dude alone in the world like this, it entertains me. This dude starts breaking into stores, moving to a nicer home and what not. What makes him stand out from other last men on earth is a little added playfulness and creativity. FOr example there is one scene where he sets up an audience of cardboard standups outside of his house. Then he stands out on a balcony and makes a big speech to them.

But then he starts to get real lonely and go kind of crazy a little bit. What Charlton Heston does in Omega Man is start drinking alot and playing chess with a bust of Caesar. But what this New Zealander does is start walking around in a nightgown.

Luckily this motherfucker finds the feminine presence he needs when he just stumbles across this redhead gal. But it is a much better experience than in I Am Legend and they immediately hit it off. Then it becomes another fantasy where it is almost the ultimate romance, here are these two individuals in love and they get to spend their whole lives alone together with the whole world as their play thing. So they get some trucks and have big races and talk to each other on walkie talkies.

Hell there's no need for me to give away everything that happens, I think you have figured out by now that if you haven't seen this one it's time you did. I know new zealand is very popular right now with the nerds, they got the Lords of the Rings filming down there right now and I believe Marie Rogue from the X-Men is a new zealander of some type. but I think this isone for everyone and one that the new zealanders must be very proud of.

 

 

[sorry - not sure what I was thinking when I called this review finished.]