Many fine movies have been released to DVD recently. Instead I am reviewing HITMAN. The much better I AM LEGEND comes out on Tuesday and I sneakily bought the DVD early so I added an update at the end of my original review to address the other ending that’s included.

Also a little business: I got a very convincing email from a guy begging me to see DOOMSDAY. He says it’s the movie PLANET TERROR wishes it was. If you’re not familiar with this movie it’s the director of THE DESCENT doing a riff on ROAD WARRIOR and ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK (or so it looks to me who hasn’t seen it yet). For some reason it wasn’t screened at all and is only playing at one theater in Seattle so it’s getting kind of buried. I don’t think I’ll get a chance to see until next weekend but I thought I would at least pass on the word that the movie MAY be worth checking out in theaters. I cannot vouch for it yet.

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Some day soon I’m gonna compile links to all the Seagalogy publicity I’ve done so far, but until then here’s a new one that’s pretty good. I’m promoting both Seagalogy and a showing of URBAN JUSTICE on Spike TV (on Oscar night).

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Hey, remember me? Name’s Vern. I’m back on the scene with my CLOVERFIELD review. Also, I forgot to link to the DTV triple-header I did starring Dolph Lundgren (MISSIONARY MAN) Jason Statham vs. Wesley Snipes (CHAOS) and some dude (ROCKAWAY). Also, did you notice that was me who asked Sylvester Stallone that last question about Rambo eating things that would make a billygoat puke? (I didn’t really understand his answer, though.)

SPECIAL REQUEST: if there are any Dutch readers who have a minute to help me out please email me (outlawvern at hotmail dot com). I just got a quick question or two about modern Dutch cinema for some research I’m doing.

[UPDATE: I got the information I needed - thanks for all the help everybody.]

Oh, and, hey man – check out this book I just noticed on Amazon. Sounds interesting.

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I don’t know man, will there be blood? It’s hard to say. Click here to find out.

By the way, happy Last Fucking Year of Bush. And did you hear the war is over? I guess not the Iraq one though, just the format war. That’s what some guy at the video store said. “Warners” as my buddy Harry calls Warner Brothers is going exclusively Blu-Ray, so the rebels have declared victory. To me though it’s really not over until the peace treaty is signed and every one of our boys is home. We should not have to send the Blu-Ray of RAMBO in to rescue HD-DVD exclusive POWs such as the Kubrick box set. The sad thing is, nobody will really respect the Blu-Rays when they get home, and half of them will end up strung out and homeless.

P.S. The clock is seriously ticking on that super-rare first edition of Seagalogy. The contract is in the mail and as soon as they tell me they received it I gotta pull the plug. So this is your last chance to get the book until later next year. Like sands through the hour glass, so are the days of our lives.

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I hope everybody had a good Christmas or a good December 25th, or both. To celebrate peace on earth and good will to men I have another William Friedkin review, the badass truck driving movie SORCERER. And my review of AvP-R. I call this piece VvAvP-R.

By the way, since I’m gonna be retiring SEAGALOGY any moment now I need something new for Lulu, and I’m thinking of doing a new collection like 5 ON THE OUTSIDE. This one will be a Greatest Hits type deal. So if you have a moment to help me out please email me (outlawvern at hotmail dot com) and let me know what are your favorite things I ever wrote. This can include movie reviews from here or anywhere else, my columns and political rants or even talkbacks. Don’t worry about overlap with the other book, I’ll figure that out later. Thanks in advance for helping out and for giving me a big head.

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It looks like the internet edition of SEAGALOGY will be going out of print shortly. Don’t worry, I’m not getting sued or threatened. It will go back into print some time next year, possibly slightly cheaper, most likely slightly updated, and definitely more widely available in actual stores and what not. I’ve decided this is what’s best for society so I’m gonna go for it. But I wanted to give you guys a heads up because I know some of you want to read it before then and haven’t been able to get it yet.

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I am a Writer so I was gonna go on strike, but then I remembered I don’t get paid anyway. So the only people who would suffer would be the world. Also, where am I gonna picket, the sidewalk by my apartment?

Instead here is a review, but I don’t think it’s gonna be a popular one. It’s my Pissing On The Parade take on the new definitive platinum series golden anniversary master director’s ultimate super cut of BLADE RUNNER. (not the upcoming DVD, I saw it at the Cinerama.)

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Man, I’m having some bad luck with the movies. Tried watching the remake of HOUSE OF WAX but the DVD froze up about half an hour in. Brought it back to the video store, got another copy, this one only made it about ten minutes further in before it froze up too. Never even got to see Paris Hilton’s character (or any other character for that matter) bite it. So I tried to watch MONSTER MAN, an earlier movie from the director of SHOOT ‘EM UP, which is about a monster running over people with a monster truck. But I’m tellin ya, that monster man should’ve run over the fucking main characters a LONG time ago. I don’t know if I can finish this one.

So that leaves some other DTV horror called REST STOP, that’s the one I was able to get to the end of. Congratulations REST STOP, winner of the October 2007 Movie Vern Could Get To the End Of Award.

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