I’m here to tell you that the Vin Diesel/Matthieu Kassovitz movie BABYLON A.D. is not nearly as bad as they say. In fact I would go so far as to say that I liked it.

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One morning last week I went and paid five bucks to see THE SPIRIT. Look, I never said I was a role model.

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I want to start off the new year the right way, so here is my long overdue review of the original SHAFT. But I also gotta bum you out because Donald Westlake, who under the name Richard Stark was one of my favorite writers, died last night. You can read my thoughts on that over at the Ain’t It Cool.

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Happy New Year everybody. That 2008 was a doozy, wasn’t it? In 2009 I plan to continue my vow of excellence. My resolution this year will be to sharpen my deadly writing skills by trying out some of the ol’ fiction. I will finish the novel I’ve been secretly working on forever and then I will write an action script like people often suggest I should do. Don’t worry, I’m not asking you to like them. You can tell me if they suck. And they won’t get in the way of my real mission. I have plenty of works of the criticism planned too.

Now for good luck let’s welcome the new year in style by discussing Clint M.F. Eastwood’s GRAN TORINO.

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I don’t think I’ve ever reviewed a script before, but if there’s gonna be a first time it might as well be Stallone’s THE EXPENDABLES. In other Dolph Lundgren coverage I got him versus Van Damme in UNIVERSAL SOLDIER. I also wrote about GINGERDEAD MAN 2: THE PASSION OF THE CRUST. I wanted to review that one for Christmas time but the movie bummed me out so I decided not to post it until now.

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The twelve days of Van Damme continues with a quick take on DEATH WARRANT. Also I recently reviewed the upcoming Seagal vs. vampires picture AGAINST THE DARK.

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I saw a movie today, the good news it had Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh in it. The bad news is it was THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR.

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Okay man, I got some real hard hitting reviews for you boys today. I got Ray Stevenson in the ultraviolent PUNISHER: WAR ZONE. I got Jean-Claude Van Damme in the very good underground fighting movie LIONHEART. And I got, um, well I’ve got Julie Andrews in, uh, in MARY POPPINS. Hahem.

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Tired of all those other generic based on a true story underdog football stories? Ready for one starring Ice Cube and directed by the prick from Limp Biscuit? Well good news friend, THE LONGSHOTS comes out on DVD today.

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Continuing my study of the early Van Damme pictures I explore starring vehicle #2 #4, KICKBOXER.

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