Since my last review was a Truly Great Movie, I decided this time to write about two mediocre movies from two legends. First we got Bruce in 16 BLOCKS* and then we have Dolph’s directorial debut, THE DEFENDER**.

*includes tangental bonus rant about the upcoming movie FLIGHT 93

**Special thanks to the nice person who reminded me about THE DEFENDER. But I couldn’t find the email so now I forgot who it was.

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First Great Movie of 2006 alert: DAVE CHAPPELLE’S BLOCK PARTY. Seriously, if you haven’t considered seeing this, it’s time to consider. Also I just got interviewed by a Seattle web sight called Seattlest. Because I am the Seattlest guy they could find. I think it’s like BET or Lifetime Television For Women though, you’re allowed to read it even if you’re not from Seattle. Or at least they can’t stop you.

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CRASH? Are you fucking kidding me? Did I really just see that? Some post oscar thoughts.

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Gotta leave town for a couple days so I’ll leave you with an un-proofread (even by my standards) column. By popular demand, the angry political rant is back. It’s hard to keep up with what’s going on in the world so I have combined Dick Cheney shooting a guy in the face, the domestic spying scandal and the port security scandal all into one satisfying pile of words.

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I finally got off my ass and saw THE THREE BURIALS OF MELQUIADES ESTRADA. If you are a fan of the films of badass cinema I recommend you also get off your ass. Also I just added a short review of a Steve McQueen movie, THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR.

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You know what movie I’m excited about? Let me tell you. A while back I reviewed this old Tommy Lee Jones movie called THE PARK IS MINE. I mentioned in the review how it was based on a book and the guy who wrote the book didn’t have too many movies he was involved in but he did happen to be the guy who wrote the brilliant script for WILD THINGS. Well now Scott Peters (WILD THINGS) is back with a movie called BACKSTABBERS. It will be directed by John McNaughton (WILD THINGS) and is expected to star Neve Campbell (WILD THINGS) and Denise Richards (WILD THINGS). I don’t know about you but to me this is great news, a chance to make up for that WILD THINGS 2-3 bullshit and have another great fucked up ridiculous over-the-top sleazy crime thriller masterpiece. Warning to nerds: if this movie is bad, it will be my PHANTOM MENACE. You will not hear the end of it. That is a promise.

Anyway here’s a review of a shitty late ’90s crime movie I saw called THURSDAY starring Thomas Jane.

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I’m a little behind schedule here but I got my review of BUBBLE, Steve Soderbergh’s new movie/DVD/cable show. Also in case you missed it I had a couple Ain’t It Cool pieces this week: 2001 MANIACS and of course the Walt Disney heroic snow dogs movie EIGHT BELOW INSPIRED BY A TRUE STORY. Warning: they don’t actually have that line about there being “eight heroes out there” in the movie.

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I think you can probaly sense that I got an angry political rant boiling in my blood. But while it percolates all I have to offer is some horse shit I wrote about the Super Bowl.

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Okay, so I was off on a couple of those oscar nomination predictions. For example, it turns out Snoop Dogg was not eligible for BOSS’N UP because it was not released theatrically. And Bush only mentioned freedom 17 times in the State of the Union, not more than 20 like I guessed. I feel like a real chump for not predicting that he would mention the danger of “human-animal hybrids” in his speech. I try to be on top of that kind of thing. (Actually I thought I imagined that, but I checked the transcript and he really said it. And here I thought I was the only one obsessed with the Frankenheimer/Brando version of The Island of Dr. Moreau. I finally have something in common with that asshole.) Oh well, I never said I was a fortune teller.

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They announce the Oscar nominations tomorrow morning so I’m gonna give my predictions in case you’re gambling or what have you. I’ll give my predictions for all the nominees and highlight the one I think will win. (Not necessarily deserves to win, but will win.)

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