I'm not trying to be a hero! I'M FIGHTING THE DRAGON!!

Archive for the ‘Updates’ Category

You heard about this “twitter” deal?

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

twitter1Well this new “blog” format is working out real good. I don’t think I’m gonna start catching up with all the 21st century technologies, for example I still don’t have a cellular phone device or those shoes with the wheels in them. But everywhere I go I hear about this “twitter” they got now. Moriarty writes in his column about how Harry Twittered him something or other, Harry writes in his column about what he was Twittering during the movie because it was so scary, Devin Feraci on Chud is mad because some other douchebag used his twittering during Crank 2 and also he had to cancel his tweeter for Even Rachel Wood because he was disappointed in the quality of her twitterings, or whatever.

You would think it would only be internet people but it’s on TV too, on Larry King and Oprah. That is one thing they didn’t cover in the movie “Notorious” is how much Puffy goes around on TV talking about the “twitter”. Anyway I guess this is what you’re supposed to do now so I’m gonna test it out today, you go to http://twitter.com/outlawvern to read it I believe.

VERN has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the books SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL, YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER!: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS and NIKETOWN: A NOVEL. His horror-action novel WORM ON A HOOK will arrive later this year.

R.I.P. www.geocities.com/outawvern

Saturday, April 11th, 2009

As you all know, I’ve been on Geocities since 1999. Over those almost ten years I’ve been ridiculed, interventioned and etc. by people who didn’t understand why I didn’t move to a grownup type websight with my own domain, like they would have in the 21st century. I always resisted because it made me laugh to see how shocked people were that Geocities still existed and that somebody would purposely still use it, and not be ashamed to put that URL in their highly acclaimed film book. It became kind of a test to see if people could see the substance of what I was writing about or if they would just ignore it because of the unprofessional surface. You all passed the test, good job everybody.

But for several days the Geocities page has been inaccessible, giving an “error 999” message. I tried to contact them over and over again and got the same useless form letter ten times before a lame threat to leave Geocities finally got a personalized response, which told me that actually it was running fine and I just wasn’t seeing it and should contact my ISP. But I did not have time to also contact the ISPs of the other computers I tried, the numerous people who emailed me about it or the Ain’t It Cool talkbackers I saw wondering if I was dead. I guess we should all scan our computers for spyware too, that could be the problem. Or maybe we should go to the Geocities help center and borrow their computers, theirs are apparently working.

So, fuck it, joke’s over, I will have a dot com now. Thank you to all the people over the years whose generous free hosting offers I turned down, and especially to Chris R. who actually registered the domain for me last summer. His kind act made going into exile a snap.

Anyway glad you found me here and please change links accordingly. Also, as long as I’ve made this change I’ve decided when I have time months from now I’m gonna try switching to a new blog-like interface. I won’t change what I’m doing here much but just make it more searchable and less crappy. So if anybody hates that idea or has any special requests let me know, outlawvern at hotmail dot com.

VERN has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the books SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL, YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER!: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS and NIKETOWN: A NOVEL. His horror-action novel WORM ON A HOOK will arrive later this year.

R.I.P. Lou Perryman

Saturday, April 4th, 2009

Some terrible, fucked up news. Lou Perryman, who played Stretch’s faithful hick sidekick L.G. in TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE PART 2 died Thursday, murdered by some random scumbag. I feel a little weird because he died under such horrible circumstances and I only know who he is because of the spectacular way he was killed in the movie. But he wasn’t a horror guy – he just ended up in that one and POLTERGEIST because he worked with Tobe Hooper (he was assistant cameraman on the original TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE).

I actually met Perryman just last year at a small horror convention. I don’t usually go to those type of things but this one lured me in with the promise of “Rowdy” Roddy Piper and three of the stars of CHAINSAW 2. And you know how obsessed I am with that movie. I’ve mentioned before that I don’t really like talking to my movie heroes, because I don’t want to try to be the guy who comes up with the one really interesting question or cool thing to say. Usually it’s a hopeless endeavor. But I did actually talk to Lou Perryman for a minute and told him I was a big fan of Chainsaw 2. He was polite. Then I mentioned that I had seen him in this excellent low budget independent Austin movie called LAST NIGHT AT THE ALAMO. I wasn’t trying to show off or anything but I really liked the movie, and clearly so did he. His eyes lit up instantly, he offered his hand and asked “What is your name?” He talked enthusiastically about a DVD release of the other movie he did with the same director, THE WHOLE SHOOTIN’ MATCH, which is now available. (I haven’t seen it yet, but Roger Ebert says it’s great, an endorsement Perryman was happy to repeat.)

So it was just a brief encounter, but he seemed like a really nice guy and a funny good ol’ boy just like he played in movies, mostly obscure independent Texas stuff but occasionally something like BOYS DON’T CRY. (And apparently he’s “man in bar” in THE BLUES BROTHERS, but I haven’t found him in there yet.)

It’s too fuckin bad, man. I hate it when shit like this happens. Sorry Lou, it shouldn’t have happened like that. You will be missed.

VERN has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the books SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL, YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER!: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS and NIKETOWN: A NOVEL. His horror-action novel WORM ON A HOOK will arrive later this year.