Van Damme and Chuck Norris in the cast:

“Stallone said… that he’s also added Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme to the mix…”

Van Damme will be a villain:

“’We’ll have a big showdown between me and Van Damme, which has been anticipated for a long time, so it should be a good one,’ says Stallone.”

It does not mention Norris’s alignment.

THE BEST NEWS IN THE ARTICLE

He “thinks” Nic M.F. Cage is gonna be in the movie:

“‘We’ve got Chuck Norris and I think Nic Cage,’ says Stallone. ‘We’re trying to work out different scenarios.’”

Let’s all hope Cage plays a mega-actable villain. The article doesn’t mention this, but if Cage can work it into his schedule there are a couple good reasons to think he’d be willing to do it. Simon West directed Cage in CON AIR and the upcoming MEDALLION, so there’s a relationship there. Cage also has a relationship with Millennium Films because they produced THE WICKER MAN, DRIVE ANGRY 3D, TRESPASS, MEDALLION and most importantly BAD LIEUTENANT: PORT OF CALL NEW ORLEANS. And he seems to be loyal to producers, considering how many shitty movies he does with Jerry Bruckheimer.

DOESN’T SOUND LIKE IT’S GONNA HAPPEN

EW tries to push the reports that Mr. Cage’s FACE/OFF faceswitching partner J. Travolta might be in the movie, but this Stallone quote seems to imply that’s not likely:

“It’s possible. The one thing I’ve learned is what is a fact on Monday is a complete fallacy on Tuesday. A lot of it is scheduling. It’s not financial. It’s just that Bulgaria is definitely a jaunt. It’s a commitment, you know what I mean? Especially in the dead of winter.”

TWO ACTORS WHO ARE POPULAR AROUND HERE THAT STALLONE BRINGS UP SOMEWHAT CONDESCENDINGLY BUT DOES NOT MAKE CLEAR IF HE IS SERIOUSLY TRYING TO GET THEM OR IF THEY ARE JUST EXAMPLES OF THE TYPE OF ACTOR HE’S TRYING TO GET

“I like using people that had a moment and then maybe have fallen on some hard times and give them another shot. So we’re always looking for actors like Michael Biehn and Michael Pare. I like those kinds of guys. Someone did it for me and I like to see if I can do it for them.”

THE BIG QUESTION THAT IS NOT MENTIONED AT ALL IN THE ARTICLE

Jet Li

The alleged candidates:

1. Joe Cornish. This is the guy that directed ATTACK THE BLOCK. I haven’t gotten to see it yet, but everybody tells me I should. He also wrote THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN with friend of the internet Edgar Wright. I have no opinion yet but I plan to see ATTACK THE BLOCK.

2. Justin Lin – FAST AND THE FURIOUS 3-5, plus that BETTER LUCK TOMORROW movie and FINISHING THE GAME. He has shown a penchant for good practical action and stuntwork, charismatic and manly characters, nice visuals and a good sense of humor. I would hope his DIE HARD would be a little more grounded than his FAST FIVE, but I think he would be a good choice. Possible drawback: could delay FURIOUS SIX. Possible bonus: could delay TERMINATOR 5: TERMINATION OF THE TERMINATRIX.

3. Nicolas Winding Refn. This kind of seems like the most interesting choice on the list, but I gotta admit I’ve only seen BRONSON and I honestly didn’t love it as much as you’re supposed to. I’ll have to check out the PUSHER trilogy and VALHALLA RISING, which I’ve heard good things about, and of course his new one DRIVE everybody is excited about. Plus I think there’s one more action movie lined up after that one.

And then it’s John Moore, who did BEHIND ENEMY LINES, FLIGHT OF THE PHOENIX, THE OMEN REMAKE and MAX PAYNE. I don’t know, did anybody see FLIGHT OF THE PHOENIX? I think I might’ve heard it was pretty good. I saw MAX PAYNE and it did have a couple good parts, but not enough to imply that he could handle a DIE HARD. He did all his movies at Fox and apparently they like hanging out with him or whatever so they look at him for every big movie that comes up, like THE WOLVERINE and everything. (Then again they didn’t choose him for that one, so maybe we’ll get lucky here.)

Anyway, they’re saying this one will take place in Russia, will have McClane teamed with his son (not seen or mentioned in the series since he was a little kid), and is still unfortunately written by Skip Woods, whose best movie I’m sorry to say has gotta be THE A-TEAM. He wrote and directed the painful Tarantino ripoff THURSDAY and wrote SWORDFISH (aka Halle’s Berries), HITMAN and X-MEN’S ORIGINS PRESENTS WOLVERINE. So you see, there are alot of obstacles for McClane to deal with on this one.

And I used to try to be polite and apologize to these people but no more, because now I AM IN A FUCKING COMIC STRIP. Or at least between some of them. My cool British publisher Titan is publishing a comics magazine called “CLiNT,” and I have a column in it starting with issue #3. So if you want to read “Nemesis Chapter 2″ and “Mahatma Gandhi presents Space Oddities” you will have no choice but to flip past the words that I wrote. WHO’S LAUGHING NOW, MOTHERFUCKERS?Here’s what the cover looks like:

But the inside is about 90% comic strips such as KICKASS 2 and something about Jesus and one that’s about gangsters. The magazine was started by Mark Millar, who I guess wrote the comics versions of KICKASS and WANTED before they were movies, and he and some other guys write it, and there are nice drawings maybe you boys would like. You can see some samples at their websight. My column is called BADASS CINEMA 101. Sorry, I named it at the last minute and it was before badassdigest.com started and made it their mission to run my favorite word into the ground and ruin it forever. (otherwise they are a pretty good websight so far.)

CLiNT is made for the UK market I believe, so I don’t think you’ll be seeing it at too many American newsstands, but somebody told me they saw it in a comics shop. I hope to use it to teach some fundamental badass cinema knowledge to the British youth so we don’t end up with more The Original Pauls loose on the streets causing problems. Just kidding, The Original Paul.

In other Titan news they’re now gonna be distributing all the Hardcase Crime books, which is pretty cool. I think that makes our books some kind of distant cousins or something.

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MORE PRAISE FOR CLiNT MAGAZINE:

“I don’t mind the ads…What I do mind are these hammy ‘columns’… I mean honestly, it’s not like this rag is an aberration or an insult to the industry… Millar is a great writer and a talented storyteller and he proves it deep inside the pages of CLiNT. It’s just a shame you have to wade through so much sludge to get close enough to see it.”

–Ain’t It Cool News

The RZA (right, with colleague)

My buddy Telf tipped me off to this one. E! Online is reporting that Wu-Tang Clan abbot/GHOST DOG scorer the RZA is claiming that Russell Crowe is in his long-in-development kung fu movie THE MAN WITH THE IRON FIST. I don’t know what the fuck is going on, man, but we live in a world where Steven Seagal co-stars with Robert DeNiro and Jessica Alba, where Dolph Lundgren fights Jet Li on the big screen, and where the guy from THE INSIDER and GLADIATOR is hanging out with Bobby Digital. These are some pretty good times, in my opinion.

There’s reason to be skeptical. RZA has already starred in and directed two kung fu movies that have never seen the light of day. The first was BOBBY DIGITAL, which he wrote and filmed under the influence of hallucinogens and which inspired one of the first unexpectedly wack Wu-Tang related albums. The second (I think) was the more old school styled WU-TANG VS. THE GOLDEN PHOENIX, which I never heard of until it showed up as a mysterious trailer, but knowing RZA it’s probly real. One minute he’s in his studio doing music for the “Afro Samurai” cartoon, next thing he’s in China filming sword fights with the choreographer of 5 DEADLY VENOMS. But it looks a little demo reel. Actually, it looks like SHAOLIN DOLEMITE. And made by some of the same people I think, but minus Dolemite.

On the other hand he seems to have really gotten a greenlight and a $20 million budget for this one, mentoring from Tarantino on the set of KILL BILL and Eli Roth has come on as co-writer and co-producer. Not that Roth is a sure thing but I do enjoy some of his movies and I think RZA could use the support and discipline of somebody who has made a few releasable movies.

As for RZA’s kung fu credentials, we’re talking about a guy who goes to the Shaolin Temple and hangs out with the monks there. I highly recommend the commentary track on the Dragon Dynasty DVD of THE 36TH CHAMBER OF SHAOLIN, where his superior knowledge completely blows the mind of the Hong Kong film historian he’s teamed up with. And even if those movies he made are bad I’m sure they were good practice for making a better one.

Now if we could ever get him to make another score even one eighth as good GHOST DOG.

The other day the internet was set on fire and punched in the face with reports from Cannes that John Hyams (UNIVERSAL SOLDIER: REGENERATION) would probly be returning with Van Damme and Lundgren for another UNISOL picture, and in 3-D. This is of course great news for people like us who have seen REGENERATION (currently my pick for best DTV movie ever made) and are anxious to see Hyams direct something else, anything else. And of course we’re happy to see more of Van Damme and Lundgren, especially if they can be as great as they were in that movie.

But 3-D? Does that mean they expect to release it theatrically? Couldn’t Variety have explained this more? I’m not trying to be a journalist but since I’m more interested in this than the journalists and I happened to have contact info for John Hyams I decided I had to ask him about it.

Hyams confirms that the movie is at least in the works, saying “Yeah, it looks like this thing will happen and I’m excited about it.” But he says the 3-D part is not definite.

“It’s something they’re interested in, so we’ll explore it,” he says. “I need to learn what’s involved and educate myself about it.  The bottom line is we’re so early in the process that nothing is off the table, but it’s my job to make sure that we don’t do anything that is going to end up being lame.”

Judging by the amount of thought and effort that obviously went into REGENERATION, with no guarantee of anybody even appreciating it, I’m sure Hyams will either find a great way to use 3-D or not use it. And hopefully if he uses it they’ll figure out a way to get it on screens so we don’t have to wait for those 3-D tvs we’re never gonna be able to afford anyway. “As for theatrical or not theatrical,” he says, “as I said, it’s all on the table.”

Unlike REGENERATION, which was already in development before Hyams came aboard, this one will be based on his concept and he’ll be writing the script. “I feel like I’m getting a chance to do something different with it, and something that can reflect my sensibilities in a deeper way.”

And if you’re looking forward to seeing those sensibilities applied to other material I’m happy to report he’s got another one he’s trying to get off the ground. He’s hopeful that something he describes as “a horror film – an extremely intense one,” might be able to start right after he finishes US4.

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Diesel-related Developments

According to a Collider interview with producer Neal H. Moritz about the upcoming fifth FAST AND FURIOUS movie (once again teaming Vin Diesel, Paul Walker and director Justin Lin) “the goal is to bring touchstone characters from each of the movies back.” I suspect this means I’ll get my wish of Lucas Black from TOKYO DRIFT at least making a cameo. After all, Han is dead, and Sonny Chiba doesn’t drive. And hell, I hope they throw in a Tyrese from 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS. Why not?

The same interview tells us that Lin is still set to direct a remake of HIGHLANDER after the FURIOUS movie. And they said there could only be one. So naive.

In other Dieselnews, it looks like he really is gonna complete the Furious/Riddick/xXx trifecta, returning for xXx 3: WE WILL EXPLAIN WHAT THE DEAL WAS WITH THAT DVD EXTRA WHERE IT SHOWED XANDER CAGE DYING which has moved to Paramount. Rob Cohen will be directing again which is a little disappointing because honestly I think the first one is pretty boring and I was hoping someone could inject some energy into it like Justin Lin did with TOKYO DRIFT. But Cohen has done some pretty funny crappy movies, and this one will be in (this is gonna fuckin blow your mind [you'll never guess what I'm about to say {please nobody shit your pants}]) 3-D!

It’s also important to remember that before Diesel and Cohen decided to lend the series to Ice Cube for a while Cohen had claimed part 2 was gonna be an anti-Bush movie and part of it would have Vin Diesel riding a mountain bike up the capital dome. So hopefully he will come up with some equally ridiculous shit for this one. May I suggest some of those Yetis from TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR?

That Deadline article says of the plot, “Xander Cage (Diesel) is left for dead, but returns to execute a very difficult assignment that only he can pull off.” It also says that Sam Jackson will return as Augustus Gibbons, the burnt-faced guru of the xXx program, and one of the most beloved cinematic characters of all time, not counting all the other characters.

Real Good Martial Arts Movie Coming to U.S.

Kungfucinema.com reports  that Well Go USA purchased the rights to release IP MAN and IP MAN 2 in North America. So if you haven’t gotten ahold of an import yet they’ll be bringing it to you like they have a bunch of the Shaw Brothers movies. Part 2 hasn’t come out yet in Asia, but the first one won the Hong Kong equivalent of the best picture Oscar. I think it’s one of the best martial arts movies of recent years, and pretty much everyone I recommend it to ends up loving it.

A Watchable Movie Starring The Rock?

I mentioned this one before but to give everyone some hope for our man Dwayne Johnson, I wanted to spotlight the movie he’s working on now to be released in November. It’s called FASTER and it uses a classic straightahead action movie topic: ex-con out to avenge his brother’s death after they were doublecrossed in a heist. I’m not sure who the villains are, but they got Billy Bob Thornton and Carla Gugino as the cops chasing after him.

It’s written by the Gayton brothers (Joe Gayton wrote UNCOMMON VALOR and THE SHEPHERD: BORDER PATROL) and the director is George Tillman Jr. He doesn’t have a history in action, but his last movie was the Biggie Smalls bio NOTORIOUS which was better than I expected and pretty gritty. The Rock told MTV “['Faster' is] like a mix between ‘The Good, the Bad & the Ugly’ [and] ‘Bullitt.’ It has an old-school texture to it where no one has names. There’s the Driver, the Killer, the Cop, the Evangelist, the Woman,”

And now an alphabetical roundup of recent action related trailers.

A-TEAM trailer #2

I know Joe Carnahan is a mixed bag, and the TV show was stupid, but I still got a soft spot for these characters and this type of fugitive-super-team concept. I really like how much they made the characters look and act like the ones from the TV show. In fact, I’m pretty sure they grew Bradley Cooper out of Dirk Benedict’s DNA (hopefully before he got infected by the snake virus or whatever in SSSSSSSSS!!!)

THE EXPENDABLES trailer

Speaking of super-teams, this is obviously the action movie event of next summer, even if it comes out in August. This is much better than the rough commercial reels that got out earlier – it seems more serious, it’s got the corny narrator, and it emphasizes the amazing cast list like it should. I wish they hadn’t shown the Bruce and Arnold cameo, but I guess that’s one way to sell the movie. Also I could use more Dolph.

From what I can see this movie has really evolved from the script that I read way back when, and that’s a good thing. It was fairly solid back then but could use some sprucing up, which they seem to have done. I’m starting to wonder if Mickey Rourke will be in it more than I expected.

KNIGHT AND DAY trailer #2

I don’t know about this one but it’s directed by James Mangold (WALK THE LINE) who seems like a pretty smart guy. And Tom Cruise is wise to go more comedic and play off his reputation as a nutball.

SALT trailer #2

Speaking of Tom Cruise, I think this was originally planned as a vehicle for him. It’s directed by Phillip Noyce (DEAD CALM, BLIND FURY) and written by Kurt Wimmer (ONE TOUGH BASTARD) and Brian Helgeland (PAYBACK) and as you can see it’s got Redbelt in there. I think they’re kind of selling this as a female BOURNE, but the first trailer looked more like a white U.S. MARSHALS. Anyway, could go either way, but I like the idea of Angelina Jolie as an asskicker on the run, and I still keep hoping Helgeland will be great again. I’ll give it a shot while I’m waiting for Soderbergh’s KNOCKOUT.

I wonder who plays Pepa, though.

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Anyway, that’s not all of the cities so check out the full list and details here. Because orphans don’t have parents.

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“It began production this week on `Machete,’ the film that Robert Rodriguez is co-directing with protege Ethan Maniquis. Danny Trejo is playing the title character and Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Seagal, Lindsay Lohan, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson and Jeff Fahey play supporting roles.”

I don’t think this needs an all-star cast, and I think Jessica Alba should have to get a real job by now, but this should be a crazy combination of people. See, Jeff Fahey’s on the list everybody, let’s stay calm. This is the first time I’ve seen Don Johnson mentioned too, that’s a good one.

I’m sure they rewrote the script since the draft I read, but I seriously have no idea who half of these people could be playing, especially Seagal.

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To tell you the truth I used to kind of resent Carradine as the white guy who got to star in two Bruce Lee creations, the show KUNG FU and the movie CIRCLE OF IRON. Well, the truth is it wasn’t really his fault, I don’t really blame him for taking the job on KUNG FU and CIRCLE OF IRON was after Bruce’s death anyway. Plus, he did a better job replacing Bruce Lee than the other guy did replacing James Coburn. He’s really good in both roles, actually. (for a white guy.)

Come to think of it it’s kind of weird, Carradine is so associated with martial arts, but he didn’t practice them until he did that show, so he could also be in all those westerns and shit without somebody making him do karate. He was foremost an actor but also could teach a tai chi workout if he wanted to. My favorite Carradine movie was always DEATH RACE 2000 (pictured above), where he played the famous death race driver Frankenstein. It’s the satire and the crazy cars and everything that I like in that movie, but it’s hard to imagine Frankenstein without that voice and that lanky frame. He was a super hero.

In the last few years of his life he had an avalanche of work, which seems to be the pattern now for some of these old b-movie guys who have their icon status reignited by a Tarantino role or a Rob Zombie movie, then they start doing the autograph circuit again and signing up for ten shitty movies a month. But it’s cool because KILL BILL was a truly great role for him. I remember seeing volume 2 the first time and after rooting for his death all through volume 1, I got to that scene where he’s making the sandwich with his daughter and I thought, “wait a minute, you’re gonna kill this guy?I like this guy!” That’s all Carradine.

I watched part of that today and, while his speech about B.B. killing the fish has some extra creepy resonance now, the movie is a pretty good send-off. He was known to be brash and opinionated – for example he dissed the great Yuen Woo Ping’s choreography, even though the fights in those movies are fucking spectacular! – but that was part of his charm. In the movie, Bill is an asshole but you love him and you’re sorry to see him go. At least he gets to see his fate coming and gets to choose his final moments before he takes those five steps that cause his heart to explode. It seems Carradine didn’t have that luxury, the poor bastard.

Oh well, 72 and still full of surprises I guess. And he left behind quite a legacy. They won’t have to replace him with lookalikes to fulfill the demand like they did after Bruce Lee’s misadventure. Sorry to see him go, though.

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