“I’m Paul Barlow, and this is my daughter Jo.”

“Malone.”

“You got a first name?”

“Yeah.”

Holy shit, some good news for once

WESLEY SNIPES IS OUT OF JAIL

I don’t know if this means McTiernan let him out on the way in or what. And seriously, reading this did remind me I gotta do my taxes.

UPDATE: He’s on house arrest until July 18th, so if they plan to film EXPENDABLES 3 before then hopefully he has a big backyard.

to do list:

1. that James Brown biopic Spike Lee wants him to star in
2. show up at the end of AVENGERS 2, decapitate that dumb space monster guy and strut off
3. also make an appearance in the movie as Blade, although the previously described scene would be as himself
4. Get a new tax guy. I’m sure he’s done this already.
5. Make amends with David S. Goyer just in case the Marvel thing doesn’t work out.6. commentary track for that GALLOWWALKER thing
7. after rekindling Sly friendship in EXPENDABLES 3 move on to BULLET TO THE HEAD II. (this assumes part 1 is massive video hit like AUSTIN POWERS)
8. whatever the fuck he wants to do. He’s Wesley Snipes.

thanks to Matt L. for the tip

 

VERN has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the books SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL, YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER!: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS and NIKETOWN: A NOVEL. His horror-action novel WORM ON A HOOK will arrive later this year.

This entry was posted on Friday, April 5th, 2013 at 11:10 am and is filed under Blog Post (short for weblog). You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

45 Responses to “Holy shit, some good news for once”

  1. Woohoo!

  2. Wait a minute, this is the future. Where are all the phaser guns?

  3. I wouldn’t be shocked if Snipes immediately called Marvel once he got out of the can.

    “Oh shit Wesley, you’re out?!? Wow that…took us by surprise. You want to be back as Blade? Umm well you see we have plans to return to that character, but not immediately. Yes we got the rights back to that character. Yes we could produce one now if we wish, even a DTV low budget release. Why we won’t do that? Oh shit look at the time. We’ll talk to you later buddy. No we’re not hanging up on you-” *CLICK*

  4. In that case RRA I would refer them to the above clip, and another one re: ice skating uphill.

  5. If EXPENDABLES 3 is anything like the last one, they’ll just shoot Wesley’s part in some hangar or a warehouse in two days, and sloppily splice it into the rest of the movie.

    I still like the first one well enough (though it’s no RAMBO), but the second one was just a bloated mess. Too many characters, too many big stars with conflicting busy schedules, and all fighting for screen time. Instead of a movie, it was a pile of individual scenes where they awkwardly carted people to appear for a few scenes and sprout catchphrases. It was like watching a freakshow at a carnival (“hey kids, here’s that strongman from Austria you’ve heard about, watch him shoot a gun and say ‘eye’ll bee bach!'”).

    I still would like to see a stripped down, balls to the wall action film starring Arnie, Sly and Bruce. But all the rumors of ever growing cast list for the next EXPENDABLES just fills me with dread. Wesley or not. I wouldn’t want to be the guy who has to stitch every one of them into something resembling a script – or wrangle all the egos on the set.

  6. I’m just going to go right ahead and register joshwhedonandwesleysnipesyellateachotheronthesetofavengers2.com

  7. The original Paul

    April 5th, 2013 at 6:23 pm

    BR – you just made me snort orange juice. Well played sir.

    I’m gonna play devil’s advocate here and say that I never “got” Snipes. Even in what I consider to be his best movies, he’s rarely the thing I remember about them. The sole exception is the original “Blade”, but I’ve got to the point where I kinda regard that as more down to great direction than a great actor. I don’t think he’s capable of pulling off what, say, Van Damme pulled off in “Unisol: Regeneration” or “JCVD”, or Stallone managed in “First Blood”. I wouldn’t say that Arnie or Seagal are capable of that kind of acting feat either, but then those two have such distinctive screen personas that they can carry movies without really having to do so.

    Who the heck wants to see Snipes in “Blade 4”? He could barely be bothered to act, let alone emote, in #3, and it showed. If they’re going to make a #4, let’s bring in some fresh blood (pun intended!) and do a “B—– Begins”-type deal.

    On a somewhat related note… has anybody else started to develop unexpectedly racist tendencies in their post-formative years? After my reaction to Tarantino’s latest, and now this news, I’m getting kinda worried here.

  8. You’re trying to trick me into criticizing Van Damme in REGENERATION, aren’t you? Snipes is not only an action guy like Van Damme, he’s actually done just as many dramatic performances: KING OF NEW YORK, NEW JACK CITY, MO’ BETTER BLUES, JUNGLE FEVER, BOILING POINT, BROOKLYN’S FINEST. In recent years he’s done some pretty bad DTV but even in those he usually gives the character something that makes it easier to get through. I don’t like the first UNDISPUTED either but his performance in it is top notch.

    Anyway, you know what they say about ice skating.

    As for the racist part, I worry what it is you’re referring to, but if you recognize your thoughts as racist then you’re not totally lost.

  9. I think Snipes can be a good actor. (He was terrific in NEW JACK CITY.) But that got obscured once he concentrated his movie career around actioneers. (And the BLADE movies, I wished he wasn’t stoic/Batman and was instead usual Snipes to be quite frankly honest.)

    I was joking about the Blade stuff, but you know what? If Marvel does make Black Panther in their Phase 3, how about they hire him as a non-Blade cast member for it? Be a nice gift to back the 90s when he tried and failed to get that movie made at New Line. Maybe as a villain?

  10. Yeah Vern, and Snipes can do comedy as well. He pulls off a great character in Major League. Without knowing the movies you think of as his best Paul, I’d say a guy playing a great lead in Blade and New Jack City alone puts the acting question in regard to straight action personalities to bed.

  11. What if Snipes hooked up with Charlie Sheen and they did MAJOR LEAGUE III together?

  12. I’d be down with that. One of the many reasons MAJOR LEAGUE II sucked so much was because they went with the poor man’s Wesley Snipes instead of getting the real deal. I know he was in his action hero prime at the time and probably cost too much but really now Omar Epps? how transparent can you get.

  13. There is already MAJOR LEAGUE III with Scott Bakula, Denns Haybert and Walton Goggins.

  14. CJ, I know that, you know that, Charlie Sheen even knows that but he’s still calling it MAJOR LEAGUE III because BACK TO THE MINORS isn’t MAJOR LEAGUE III. That makes Franchise Fred very happy.

  15. Possibly the best news I’ve heard all week. Thanks Vern! And I know it seems crazy, but given Hurley’s still around looking decent I always wanted to see a Passenger 57 sequel in which she broke out of prison (as a nod to the original) and started making Snipes’ character’s life hell. Sort of like Die Hard 3 or Metro or 12 Rounds but with planes. If she won’t do it then go all the way homage style with a new actress doing a runner from the plastic surgeon.

    Spike Lee directing Wesley as James Brown? Ticket SOLD.

  16. Calling MAJOR LEAGUE: BACK TO THE MINORS, MAJOR LEAGUE III is like calling GRAND THEFT AUTO: VICE CITY, GRAND THEFT AUTO IV.

  17. I think Snipes’ best performance other than New Jack has to Be in To Wong Foo. His scenes with the little old lady discussing classic films are warm and funny, and he has a great throwaway line about hoping she leaves him all her memorabilia when she dies. The delivery is perfect.

  18. In fact, Vern, you should celebrate by doing a Snipes-a-thon of any films of his you haven’t reviewed, starting with To Wong Foo…

  19. Broddie, that kind of makes sense. Likewise TOKYO DRIFT clearly isn’t FAST AND THE FURIOUS 3 because it takes place in some future where Han went to Tokyo which hasn’t happened yet.

  20. The original Paul

    April 6th, 2013 at 4:58 pm

    “Snipes is not only an action guy like Van Damme, he’s actually done just as many dramatic performances: KING OF NEW YORK, NEW JACK CITY, MO’ BETTER BLUES, JUNGLE FEVER, BOILING POINT, BROOKLYN’S FINEST.”

    Now to the best of my recollection I’ve only seen one of those films, and that was a VERY long time ago. On the negative side, that film was “King of New York”, and I couldn’t even remember who Snipes played in it. I will have to check out “New Jack City” though, given the multiple recommendations for it here. I don’t want to do the Jet Li thing again and end up judging an actor only on his worst work.

    Oh, and the “racist” comment was because 1) Snipes is the only black actor out of those that I mentioned, and he’s the one I’m ripping the hell out of, and 2) “Django Unchained” seemed to me like an early contender for “film of the year” until the moment the white guys left the movie, at which point it totally lost me. Add to that my dislike of rap music in film (not all films, but most of them) and the fact that I had to watch “Truck Turner” with the subtitles on because I could not fathom most of what the actors were saying… and I gotta ask myself, what exactly IS going on in my head? I don’t want to turn into the old guy who keeps a shotgun by his window in case negroes try to cross his lawn.

  21. Anyone else want to see Snipes in an “UNDISPUTED ALL-STARS” Movie with MJW, Adkins and whoever played Turbo?

  22. Yeah, and Marko Zaror. Shit, actually… I wonder if they’ll try to do that. There are two reasons to turn it down: 1. if he’s gonna be a dick about sharing the spotlight 2. if he wants to stop doing DTV. If those aren’t an issue though he should go for it because it would definitely be better than the other DTV stuff he’s done.

  23. nabroleon Dynamite

    April 7th, 2013 at 5:02 am

    Your first two (and of course #4) were my first thoughts when hearing the news as well.

    Wasn’t there some minor Oscar buzz over his supporting role in Waiting To Exhale?

    And Son stole Mo’ Better Blues from Denzel!!

    Snipes can act his ass off when he wants to.

  24. I hope this true but reports are popping up that Wesley will be in Expendables 3. I didn’t like Part 2 at all but if he’s involved in part 3 they will definitely get me again. http://blog.sfgate.com/dailydish/2013/04/09/wesley-snipes-to-join-sylvester-stallones-expendables-team/

  25. The original Paul

    April 9th, 2013 at 2:15 pm

    Completely off-topic, sorry… I’ll take it to the forums if it catches on, but they’re a bit dead at the moment.

    There was an interesting-looking trailer for a new Statham picture that’s being released soon before “Spring Breakers”. Not “Parker”, a new one. Didn’t catch the name, but it looks as though it could be what I hoped “Safe” would be but wasn’t – an action movie that absolutely commits to what it’s doing. (And yeah, I liked “Safe”, but it lived up to its name WAY too much. I don’t want to see another 12A Statham film, thank you!) Anybody know anything about this? It’s called “Hummingbird”.

  26. A quick look at Major League III on IMDB shows that it had enough elements to make it a legit part III (i.e. Corbin Bernsen and Dennis Haysbert) – also…Walton Goggins was in it? And yes, having worlds collide Fast & The Furious-style and have a team consisting of those guys and Berenger and Sheen and Snipes would be awesome. Bring back Rene Russo too while we’re at it.

  27. Hey so anyone believe this rumour about Mel Gibson directing E3?

    Wouldn’t that petty much turn it into THE BOYCOTTABLES? And also rule out a Bill Goldberg cameo?

  28. From Stallone on Twitter, possibly referring to Expendables 3:

    Wesley Snipes is BACK!!!! … …with US.

    … Or he could be just messing with us.

  29. The Undefeated Gaul

    April 15th, 2013 at 6:59 am

    I hope it’s true, and why not? Can’t imagine Snipes has anything better to do right now than jump onboard a theatrical release. At the very least it sounds way more likely than the Mel Gibson directing Ex3 thing, there’s no way that will happen. If it does though, my screams of joy will be heard across the globe.

  30. Mad Mel directing and Wesley joining the cast? I skipped part 2 and to this day I haven’t bothered to watch it but nothing will get me to put down cash for THE EXPENDABLES 3 than seeing Snipes’ name on the poster marquee and “A Mel Gibson Film” right above the title.

  31. *faster than seeing…

  32. Please, someone with more twitter clout than me tweet at Stallone that Mel Gibson directing THE 3XP3NDABL3S would *literally* be the greatest thing ever. And I mean “*literally*” in the literal sense.

    Greatest thing since RAMBO (2008) or APOCALYPTO (2006), anyway.

  33. I called this last year. I am the prognosticator.

  34. Like many, I speculated about it, but didn’t really think it’d be feasible or even reach the “serious rumor” phase. It literally hurts inside my chest when I imagine the possibility, like I’m approaching my 16th birthday and expecting the parents to maybe chip in for a used beater with no A/C but then thinking that maybe, just fucking maybe!, they’ll instead have a brand new BMW 5 series waiting for me in the driveway somehow.

    The big potential problem here would be that Gibson doesn’t make movies based on the ability to wrangle, via publicists & agents, 72 hours of free time from 4 or 5 stars for some generic “point gun and flex muscles” insert shots in an empty warehouse set. He does cinema. Original badass cinema that Strives for Excellence, not cash grabs & empty funfests.

  35. Yeah, but it’s not like they are trying to get Mel Gibson for the director’s chair of some random video game or comic book movie, it’s a series that a lot of people who he MIGHT be good friends with (I don’t know for sure) do for a chuckle (and a quick buck based on 80s nostalgia). So I wouldn’t say it’s completely impossible.

  36. The original Paul

    April 15th, 2013 at 12:24 pm

    Mouth – I didn’t see Expendables 2 (wasn’t going to put myself through that one a second time) but isn’t that exactly what is NEEDED here? I really hope somebody competent takes the reins of this franchise if it’s going to do a “Fast / Furious” and suddenly and unexpectedly get good.

  37. Mel directing is the only way you’re getting me to see EX3 in the theater. if nothing else, the movie will have the proper setups and payoffs. Say what you will about Mel Gibson, the sonofabitch knows story structure.

    Since this won’t happen because it’s become clear by this point that the universe doesn’t love me that much, I expect one or more of you to hold me accountable when I start waffling a few days before the release of SOME DOUCHEBAG WHO DIRECTED ONE OF JASON STATHAM’S SHITTIER MOVIES’ EXPENDABLES 3.

  38. We all enjoy how THE EXPENDABLESes brings out the self-contrarian, MPD, pseudo-schizophrenic but brutally honest, version of you, Mr. Majestyk.

    Listening to you love & hope and then hate & lash out on everything about the EXP’LES series is like reading Sylvia Plath — beautiful poetry from a place of sheer pain & soul-destroying confusion confronted by eloquent, clear-headed realization.

    Tis bittersweet entertainment, like a shared perversion of collective schadenfreude that we don’t want to exist but enjoy witnessing & partaking in anyway.

  39. It’s like the angry, bewildered death song of a betrayed humpback whale.

  40. I know Mr. M will disagree with me but part of me was hoping that if they got Jackie Chan they would let him direct. Mel would be great, but Chan has worked on some of the greatest action scenes ever captured on film and it would be awesome to see how he could apply his sensibilities to a project like 3X.

  41. I’m sure a Hong Kong-style action flick starring a bunch of old dudes with bad knees won’t be compromised at all.

    Okay, now that I’m thinking about it, I’d be okay with Mel directing, Snipes villaining, and Jackie directing the action choreography on Snipes’ team of nimble little kung fu spider monkey motherfuckers, as long as the heroes play the straight men and don’t make any funny faces.

    Jackie is not allowed to appear onscreen. He can sing the theme song, though.

  42. Bring back Jet Li and have Jackie as a villain with a personal grudge against Ying Yang and we have a helluva endfight. Deal?

  43. Mr. M, I was assuming that if anybody could get any more mileage out of all those creaky old joints it would be Chan because of his inventive action set pieces. I also heard at one point John Woo said he wanted to direct 3X, and is quoted as saying so but Sly has never mentioned anything about it.

    I am all for Jackie signing the theme.

  44. Nope, sorry. I can’t allow it. We’re trying to de-comedify this thing, not make it worse. Adding Jackie to the mix is like throwing water on an oil fire.

  45. Say what you will about Mel

    Ok, he’s bigoted against a cultural group with a lot of influence in Hollywood, and the reality is a lot of people will come under pressure not to participate in E3 if he’s involved

Leave a Reply





XHTML: You can use: <a href="" title=""> <img src=""> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <b> <i> <strike> <em> <strong>